Laddered Tightropes

by Dillie Dorian

  Speaking of, Kitty had managed to drag Harry to the shop window. I grabbed Jade by the shoulders and steered her out of the door. She didn’t even try to stop me.

  “What’s all this about?” asked Harry, who looked desperate to change the subject from twenty-five quid’s “worth” of floatable dolphin. We’d need Jade’s lungpower to even use it.

  “Jade wanted a magazine, but it was…” I felt my face grow as red as the still snivelling little girl’s. “Rude.”

  Charlie and Andy barged past us into the shop. Jade pinched me hard on the wrist out of spite. Harry tried to comfort her and Kitty huffed and struggled to pull the dolphin down from the display. I heard Andy swear. I glanced down the road to where Mum was still sat with Lemmy, Zak and Ryan. Devon and Libby had gone.

  “Harry!” shouted Andy, from the doorway. There was no need to shout, but he was in a real panic. “Charlie stepped on a DVD and now we have to pay for it.”

  “Use your own money,” Harry replied, still trying to dab at Jade’s eyes with a tissue.

  Andy looked awkward. “You have to do it because they won’t sell it to us.”

  “Get Sandie to do it… can’t you see I’m busy?”

  “I… don’t want to do that,” said Andy.

  “Then… take Jade to Sandie,” he flustered.

  Andy obliged. I stared after him, longingly, but had to stay with Kitty. I waited for the uproar as Zak and Ryan heard what had happened – it was just as glorious as I’d expected.

  Behind me, there was a giant crash and a clatter. “Kitty!” I gasped, turning to see what had happened. Clearly, she’d torn the entire display rack down and got the fright of her life. Buckets were rolling into the road, which luckily wasn’t busy.

  “Oopsie,” she whimpered, clutching her prized blow-up dolphin. It really was as big as her.

  Andy, Charlie, Zak and Ryan came running. They retrieved the buckets and together we hurried to haul the rack back into place and restore some of its wares to their original places.

  Harry reappeared in the doorway. “What on-?”

  “It was an accident,” I said, waftily, sort of hoping he’d assume it had been one of us older kids.

  “Where’s the DVD?” asked Zak, winning the prize for Most Presumptuous out of the lot of us this sweltering Monday afternoon. We laughed and laughed and laughed.

  #14 Laddered Tightropes

  “Zak, get off the wall!” Mum yelled.

  “It’s cool, OK! I won’t get hurt!”

  “Zak, I said-”

  “Whatever!”

  “Zachary Hartley, get off that sea WALL!”

  “Just to the steps!” he insisted, kicking a left-behind can of Tizer so that the contents spilled out over the wall ahead of him in a speckly, splattery pattern. I watched, stomach knotting, as the can skidded over the edge and down onto the sand.

  “Zak! Obey your mother!” ordered Harry, who was looking nerdy as ever wearing the baby carrier with Lemmy in it.

  “WHATEVER!!” Zak yelled again, quickening his pace in urgency to get to the gap with the steps before somebody stopped him. He didn’t get far before he slipped in the Tizer puddle of his own making and yelped with fear.

  Ryan and Andy rushed and grabbed him, stopping him falling to certain death.

  “Yeowwwww!!” Zak whined, clutching his shoulder as he climbed down from the wall, getting a Tizer-stain on his white footie shorts.

  “Are you going to listen to your mother next time?” asked Harry, sternly, as he caught up with Zak to check on his shoulder.

  “Yeah…” Zak mumbled.

  “Why are you both such babies?” demanded Jade, obviously meaning my brothers. “Why can’t you be cool and brave like-?”

  “Like…?” I prompted, curiously.

  “Like Zac Efron!” she gushed.

  “Is not…” I mumbled, snarkily. I mean, to my knowledge, he’d done exactly zero worthy and heroic things in his life so far. He was an actor.

  “Is too!” argued Charlie.

  Harry rolled his eyes.

  Zak rubbed his arm.

  There were nervous giggles from nearly everyone, with a few exceptions. Kitty and Jade were tired and cranky; I understood that – but Devon was mooching along mostly on her own as even Charlie had tired of trying to make conversation with her.

  * * *

  “Dev, seriously…” I pleaded, towelling my hair. I’d just experienced the luxury of a hotel shower for the first time ever. The water had been so soft, and – yeah, I admit it, tasty.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You wanted to see about it,” I pointed out. “What changed?”

  Devon huffed and unpicked the knot in her bandana. She unclipped her rainbow dreadlock extensions – this week’s speciality – and fingered, then sniffed the gel-curled strands of brown hair either side of her face with disgust.

  What was the matter with her? She was fine baring her thin head of hair in front of me, the manifestation of her not-exactly-stainless mental health, so whatever it was she was feeling must have surpassed that secret in its rottenness.

  “I know all about useless mums,” I reassured her. “Sometimes mine bathed Charlie twice and forgot me. She was useless enough to remind me when I was old enough to care, in front of Chantalle.”

  “Yeah, well. This is different.”

  I thought of Libby’s dry and lopsided ’do. “How so?”

  “You didn’t wind up in care.”

  “We probably should have done,” I wavered. “Not that I’m jealous. I know that that sucks big lollipops, but you have it better than us these days and we’ve come a long way too.”

  “Your mum actually tries. I don’t even want to go into how much is wrong with what you just said.”

  I couldn’t believe I was about to betray my mother like that, but she had recently irritated me so much that I almost didn’t care if this got back to her. “So if your mum leaves you at the supermarket and doesn’t realise you’re gone for six hours, that’s OK as long as she tried to remember?”

  “She did that to you?” asked Devon, sceptically.

  “Shelley. But same difference!”

  “Well riddle me this,” said Dev, with the most serious expression I thought I’d ever seen on her face. “If you ran into Kitty today – say she’d been living with your dad or something – and she reminded you one bit of what you came from… could you blame yourself for feeling detached? I mean, you’ve moved on…”

  My stomach turned to rock. “If Kitty had been living with just Dad, she would’ve starved to death before she could talk. He barely registered her existence.”

  “You’re missing the point,” said Devon, frustrated, a hand reaching up and picking at the clumpy mess of hair and dandruff she had left. “Wouldn’t you prefer not to look?”

  I was outraged. “Of course I’d prefer not to look! I’d prefer that not to exist, which it doesn’t, thank God. Snap out of it, Kaylean. You’re starting to sound like me, or Charlie, or Mum. Don’t you think Zak preferred not to look? How could he tightrope his way along a high wall like that? Sometimes it is a lot easier to be brave when you ignore what’s in front of you, but how can you, honestly, if you truly know how it ends? None of us have ever had the chance to put a stop to something from experience!”

  But what Devon said next shocked me.

  “Your aunt did, and she has.” She shrugged. “Do you actually think she’d care if she knew how vividly your gran was slagging her off? Is she here of all places on holiday, exposing her children to the forced revival of relationships that barely existed thirty years ago? Are they really coming back? Think about it. Would you?”

  “Shut up!” I hissed. “You don’t know my aunt; the woman with such disregard that she paid Mum pittance to look after her two kids while off gallivanting. You’re right – it wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t come back, and I wouldn’t blame her – but they’re there on a contract. Her husband’s contrac
t. One year.”

  “Promotions happen…” said Devon, in an almost singsong voice. “I realised something during all the tent business the other week: Life’s too short. Put out or get out. And above all, don’t get involved if you think it’ll hurt too much.”

  With that, she flounced from the room.

  And once again, my stupid, stupid brain made everything about my virginity.

  #15 The Swimming Pool Grinch

  “Boys…” said Mum, as tactfully as possible. “I didn’t know you’d grown out of your trunks so much…”

  Both of my brothers ducked their heads, hands held over their privates.

  “Oh God it hurts…” moaned Charlie.

  “Wait. You have balls?” snickered Andy.

  “It won’t do,” said Harry, with surprisingly solidarity. “I suppose I could fork out for something from the swim shop just this once.”

  “Not Speedos this time!” squeaked Zak.

  Kitty was dancing around in her pink tankini, almost tripping over the giant dolphin she’d had Harry blow up for her. Jade was humphing behind in her fluorescent Disney Princess off-shoulder top and sparkle-trim bottoms. Devon, fortunately, had brought something a little more modest than the candykini from Rachel’s party – she was sporting an old-style red and white polka-dot one-piece… with a rubber bathtime seal head superglued over each boob, thankfully on top of the fabric itself.

  “I don’t think those will keep you afloat, Devon,” tutted Mum, who was already shoulder-deep in disapproval for her, what with the running off yesterday and this morning’s revelation that Devon had administered her own Number 2 using Harry’s electric razor, leaving only the curly sideburn strips.

  Now that I thought about it, my own swimsuit was pressing uncomfortably. I felt as though I’d be crushed like a can any second, but this really wasn’t the time to be bringing that up.

  “Actually,” Harry suggested, grinchily. “Zak could wear Charlie’s trunks, and Charlie could put his Bermudas back on.”

  Who knew that there was more than one, er, holiday season that tight pockets could strangle the fun out of? Zak groaned, but ultimately decided that anything was better than the goolie-squashing torture of trying to swim in the shorts he’d had for three years.

  “Kiddy’s daaaad!” Jade piped up. “I need armbands!”

  “Really?” asked Harry, forgetting to hide his surprise. Even Kitty had done basic swimming, and she was actually surprisingly good at it for someone who so frequently tripped over her own toes on land.

  “Yes. Get me them now.”

  Harry sighed and took off towards the shop without argument. Soon after, the boys re-emerged from the changing rooms, and Zak, Ryan and the tagalong cousin raced to the waterslides. (Did I mention he was there?)

  Andy gave me a hug from behind. I didn’t like that I could feel his trunks against the back of my thighs. That meant that certain parts of him were close to my bum. I thought about what Devon had said last night and wondered if she’d really meant it like that. Were she and Charlie sexually active? Was I just really naïve?

  I might have spaced out. Harry reappeared. “Suit your requirements, madam?”

  “Yellow?!” she scoffed. “Not with purple!”

  Harry stared with disbelief. “It was yellow or orange.”

  “I’m not wearing them!” Jade yelled.

  “How’re you going to swim without them?” asked Harry, in a tone that usually worked on Kit or even Aimee.

  Jade folded her arms. “I just won’t!”

  Andy started kissing my cheek, still hugging. “Today’s our day, alright?” he whispered. “I’ll show you my face-first down-the-slide trick!”

  I giggled. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah!” he enthused, towing me away.

  We were just in time to see Zak, Ryan and the cousin plunge down the flume about three milliseconds apart from each other. Luckily, there was no queue. My stomach knotted up with genuine glee at the prospect of not having to wait painfully for something for once.

  Distant voices echoed. And not-so-distant ones.

  “But why?!”

  “Oh, quit whinging! You still have yours!”

  “But-”

  “Are you calling me ugly?”

  “No!”

  “Are you calling me weird?”

  “No!”

  Andy looked at me. He looked at me like our best friends made him sick. “Hey, I’ll do the stunt later – let’s both get outta here!”

  Before I knew it, he’d grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the slide. He sat, hauled me awkwardly onto his lap, and scooted forward. We gained speed pretty rapidly. It was surreal, bump, bump, bump, over the screwed connections of the tunnel, the sounds of water thundering through nearby service pipes not unlike ours. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done this, or even if I had. Certainly not with Andy for a raft.

  Then it was light. My head went underwater for a second. I’d rolled off Andy and into the shallow pool at the bottom. A baby really could drown in inches of bathwater. And God, I was so morbid! Here I was on holiday with the fam, free to playfight with my boyfriend for hours if I wanted, and I was thinking about babies drowning. Zak, Ryan and the cousin were nowhere to be seen.

  A long and helpless scream flew down the tunnel, followed by a foot to the neck. Shocked, I sat up properly, and clocked my twin staggering to standing.

  “Charlie!” I protested. “You could’ve killed me!”

  “That could’ve killed me!” he argued, ever self-centred. “Anyway, you’re supposed to clear the area.”

  “You are supposed to clear the area,” mumbled Andy, unhelpfully from the poolside.

  Devon shot out of the drainpipe. “It’s so liberating not having to wear a swim cap! Oh, do cheer up, Charlie!” She looked at me. “And you!”

  I scrambled to my feet and sloshed my way out of the water. Anything would be better than getting caught up in an argument with Devon and Charlie. Within sight, Jade was still giving Harry a hard time. I hadn’t thought he was coming in, and felt momentarily solidare despite his unwillingness to spend. I wandered over to the kiddie pool.

  Kitty was having tonnes of fun with her giant dolphin. I actually suspected that Hazza might have taken back his regret, despite the price. He looked a centimetre away from handing Jade twenty-five quid to kindly shut up.

  “Didn’t know you were coming in,” I said, conversationally.

  “Under-eights rule. Would be, wouldn’t it?” He grimaced.

  “I will be eight in Sep-tem-ber!” Kitty piped up.

  I shivered. The idea of an eight year old unsupervised at a pool had never chilled me remotely until it came to my own, supremely unfortunate sis.

  “And what are you playing?” I asked.

  “Eliza Thornberry,” she explained. “I am Eliza and I can talk to the animals. And Harry is Nigel and Jade is Debbie.”

  “Who does that make me?”

  “You can be the mum or Darwin or Donnie.”

  “I’ll be the mum,” I agreed, awkwardly, hoping in the next millisecond that it didn’t sound like I was suggesting anything.

  “You can’t be my mum,” snarled Jade, who was sat miserably in the very shallowest part, punching the water.

  “Hey, stop that,” I said, sympathetically. “You’ll hurt your hand on the tiles.”

  “No one asked you! I want a Coke.”

  I looked at Harry.

  He sighed. “When Kitty’s finished playing, I’ll take you to get one.”

  “I want one now.”

  “I don’t!” argued Kitty.

  “Fine, I’ll take you,” I offered, wishing I’d never deluded myself with the idea that hanging out with seven-year-olds and my stepdad could possibly be more tolerable than Charlie and Devon.

  “I don’t want one from you.”

  “Then I’ll watch Kitty…”

  “That’s not technically allowed,” Harry dithered.

  Then Ki
tty said what was probably the most intelligent thing I’d ever heard come out of her mouth. “What are you talking about? I’m eight.”

  #16 Raspberry Split

  That didn’t end up factoring, because Ryan had got cramp in his leg and decided that it was lunchtime. We dragged ourselves back into our street clothes and headed off to a café nearby. Lemmy screamed because it was a hot day, even though we were under a parasol.

  “Oh dear. I think I should take him indoors,” said Mum.

  “Can we go back yet?” asked Kitty, hopefully.

  “NO,” gobbed Jade.

  “Can we go back yet?” asked Zak, impatiently. “You don’t need to come in with us!”

  “That’s not fair!” said Kitty.

  “Well nerr,” said Zak.

  “For the last time,” said Harry. “None of you can go back to the pool until you’ve let your lunch go down.”

  “Perhaps an ice lolly…?” suggested Mum.

  “Orange,” snapped Jade.

  “Orange please,” said Ryan.

  “Me too please,” said the cousin.

  “Can I have a raspberry split?” asked Kitty.

  “There’s no such thing as a raspberry split,” I pointed out. “It’s a strawberry split.”

  Andy squeezed my hand under the table.

  “Don’t like strawberry,” said Kitty.

  “What about a Solero?” said Andy. “That’s got ice cream and a lolly coating. I’m having a Solero.”

  “Make mine a Twister,” demanded Zak. “No, a Screwball!”

  “Twister!” Kitty decided.

  “I’ll have a Solero, please,” I mumbled, making myself look embarrassingly suggestible.

  “Last chance to change your mind,” Harry warned. “Five, four, three, two… one.”

  My eyes wandered wistfully over to the bench where Charlie and Devon were cuddling. Yeah, I did think it was too hot to cuddle, and yeah, I had said that to Andy when he asked. Still, they looked so happy together. I didn’t think I’d felt like that since summers gone by with my brother and cousin. Back when things were simple, and you were both in some way mine. Things weren’t always good, but they were never complicated. It was a Year 6 Trip kind of feeling, and I missed it.

  “I thought you didn’t want to…” said Andy, when Harry had left.

  “I didn’t,” I replied.

  “You’re talking about something naughty and I know it!” said Jade.