Légende d'Ulenspiegel. English

by Charles de Coster

  And now they that remained in the chariots were giving all the wineto the soldiers, and they in their turn were feted by them and mademuch of; till at last, when the wine began to run out, the peasantscontinued on their way again. The drums and fifes and bagpipesstruck up once more and the cavalcade moved off without any let orhindrance. And the soldiers, in high good humour, let off a volleyfrom their guns in honour of the festal occasion.

  And thus they came to Maestricht, where Ulenspiegel took counsel withthe agents of the Reformers as to the best way of sending ships loadedwith arms and munitions to the assistance of the Prince's fleet.

  And from there they went to Landen and to other places, disguised asworking men.

  The Duke was not long in learning the trick that had been played onhim, and there came into his hands a lampoon which was in circulationat the time, with this refrain:

  Bloody Duke, Silly Duke, Hast thou seen the Bride?

  And every time that the Duke made a mistake in his general-ship thesoldiers would sing:

  The Duke he can't see clearly; He has seen the Bride!

  XXII

  Now in those days the Duke divided his army into two parts, one ofwhich he ordered to march towards the Duchy of Luxemburg and theother to the Marquisate of Namur.

  "These tactics of the military are all one to me," said Ulenspiegelto Lamme, "let us go on our way with confidence."

  They were walking along the banks of the Meuse, near the town ofMaestricht, and Lamme saw that Ulenspiegel gazed attentively at allthe boats that were sailing on the river. Suddenly he came to a standbefore one of these boats upon whose prow was carved the figure ofa mermaid. And the mermaid carried a shield and on it in gold upona black ground were blazoned the letters J.H.S., being the monogramof Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Ulenspiegel signed to Lammethat he should stand still, and then he began to sing like a larkmost joyously.

  A man appeared on the boat and began to crow like a cock. At thisUlenspiegel set up a noise like a donkey's bray, which the manimmediately echoed with interest. And the two donkeys of Lamme andUlenspiegel lay back their ears and joined in the chorus with theirown natural voices. Sundry women and men were passing along that way,the latter riding on the backs of the horses which were tugging thebarges along the tow-path. And Ulenspiegel said to Lamme:

  "This boatman is making mock of us and our good steeds. What do yousay to going and attacking him on his boat?"

  "Let us rather entice him over to the bank," replied Lamme.

  But a woman who happened to be passing at the moment said:

  "If you don't want to come back with your arms cut off, your backsbroken, and your noses in pieces, let me advise you to let thisStercke Pier bray at his ease."

  "Ee--aw! Ee--aw! Ee--aw!" went the boatman.

  "Let him sing," continued the woman. "Only the other day he showed ushow he could lift on his shoulders a truck of heavy barrels of beer,and hold back yet another truck that was being dragged forwards by astrong horse. And at the inn there"--and as she spoke she pointed tothe tavern of the Blauwe Torre--"it was there one day that he threwhis knife at a plank of oak-wood twelve inches thick and pierced itat a distance of twenty paces!"

  "Ee--aw! Ee--aw! Ee--aw!" went the boatman, and now he was joined bya youngster of twelve or so, who climbed on to the bridge of the boat,and began to bray in like manner.

  But Ulenspiegel answered the woman:

  "He's nothing to us, your Peter the Strong! For however strong he is,we are stronger! See my friend Lamme here. He could eat up two menlike that without so much as a hiccup!"

  "What's this you're saying, my son?" demanded Lamme.

  "The truth," answered Ulenspiegel. "And do not let your modestycontradict me. For of a truth, good people, women and working men ofMaestricht, I tell you that before long you shall see my friend herebelabouring and beating to nothing this famous Stercke Pier of yours!"

  "Be quiet," said Lamme.

  "Your strength is famous far and wide," answered Ulenspiegel. "Youcannot conceal it."

  "Ee--aw!" went the boatman. "Ee--aw!" went the boy.

  Suddenly Ulenspiegel began again to sing like a lark very melodiously,and the men and women and workmen standing by were enchanted, andbegan to ask him where he had learnt the art of whistling so divinely.

  "In Paradise," answered Ulenspiegel, "whence I come." Then he addressedhimself to the boatman, who was still continuing his braying andmocking:

  "Why do you stay there on your boat, you good-for-nothing? Haven't youthe courage to come and jeer at us and our steeds from the dry land?"

  "Haven't you the courage for that?" said Lamme.

  "Ee--aw! Ee--aw!" went the boatman. "Come, my good bray-masters,come up rather into my boat."

  Then Ulenspiegel whispered to Lamme to do exactly as he did. But tothe boatman he said aloud:

  "If you are Stercke Pier, I am Tyl Ulenspiegel. And these two hereare our donkeys, Jef and Jan, and they know how to bray better thanyou do, for that is their natural way of talking. As for coming onto your leaky decks, it is the last thing we wish to do. Your boatis like a tub, and each time that a wave comes along it shivers,and it knows no other way of walking save sideways-on like a crab."

  "Yes, like a crab!" said Lamme.

  To which the boatman made answer:

  "What are you croaking there between your teeth, great block of fat?

  At this Lamme fell into a rage, crying:

  "You are no Christian to make mock of my infirmity. My fat is my own,let me tell you, and is the result of the good food I eat, whereas you,old bag of bones that you are, you have never lived upon aught betterthan smoked herrings and old candle-wicks if one may judge anythingfrom the lean flesh that shows through the tears in your measly hose."

  "Ee--aw! Ee--aw!" cried the boatman, and Lamme would have got downfrom his donkey to collect stones to throw at him had not Ulenspiegelsaid him nay.

  The boatman now began to whisper something into the ear of the ladwho was still "ee--awing" at his side, and a moment later the ladunfastened a little boat which lay by the side of the big one, andwith the end of the boat-hook shoved himself cleverly off towards theriver-bank. When the boy was quite close to the bank he drew himselfup proudly and threw down this challenge:

  "My master wants to know if you will have the courage to come on tohis boat and join with him in a battle of fist and feet. And thesegood men and women shall be the arbiters."

  "Certainly," said Ulenspiegel in a dignified tone of voice.

  "We accept the challenge," said Lamme haughtily.

  It was midday. The workmen who laboured on the dike and theroad-menders and the builders of ships were about to take theirrepast of beans and boiled beef which had been brought them by theirwomen-folk or their children. All these, then, who stood aroundbegan to laugh and to clap their hands at the prospect of a fight,looking forward with joy to the chance of seeing the head of one ofthe combatants broken, or his body thrown in pieces into the river.

  "My son," said Lamme under his breath, "the boatman will assuredlythrow us into the water."

  "Let him throw you in if he wants to," said Ulenspiegel.

  "The big one is afraid," said the crowd of workmen.

  Lamme, who was still sitting his donkey, turned round and gave thema look of anger, but they jeered at him the more.

  "Come on," said Lamme. "Let us to the boat, and then they shall seeif I am afraid."

  At these words the jeers broke out again, and Ulenspiegel said:

  "Come, let us to the boat!"

  When, therefore, they had dismounted from their donkeys they threw thebridles to the boatman's lad, who caressed the animals in friendlywise and led them to a place where he saw some thistles growing. Atthe same time Ulenspiegel seized hold of the boat-hook, made Lammeget into the skiff, and then steered straight for the big boat. Therehe mounted on to the deck by the help of a rope, and Lamme climbedup in front of him, puffing and blowing.
/>   Arrived on the bridge of the boat, Ulenspiegel leant down as ifto lace up his boots, and at the same time he spoke a word intothe boatman's ear, who straightway laughed and gave Lamme a curiouslook. Then he began to roar out at him every kind of insult, callinghim worthless rogue, a man bloated with vicious fat, prison-bred,pap-eter, and at the same time inquiring of him how many tons of oilthey gave him when he was bled.

  All of a sudden, without waiting to reply, Lamme threw himself likea mad bull upon the boatman, knocked him down, and began to beathim with all his might. The boatman, however, did not receive muchinjury, forasmuch as Lamme's arms were but weak on account of theirfatness. And the boatman suffered himself to be thus dealt with despitethe fact that he was making a great pretence at resistance all thetime. And the men and women who were watching the battle from thebank were astonished, and exclaimed to each other: "Who would havethought that this fat man could be so fiery!"

  And they clapped their hands while Lamme continued to belabour theboatman most unmercifully. But the latter took care only to protecthis face. Suddenly Lamme was seen to be kneeling upon the breast ofStercke Pier, with one hand on his adversary's throat, and the otherraised to strike.

  "Cry for mercy," he said furiously, "or else I shall make you passthrough the planks of your tub."

  At this the boatman began to cough, thereby signifying that he couldnot speak, and demanded mercy with a sign of his hand.

  Then Lamme was seen to pick up his adversary in a most generousmanner, who thereupon, standing upright and turning his back towardsthe onlookers, put out his tongue at Ulenspiegel. Now the latter wasrocking with laughter to see Lamme shaking the feather on his cap soproudly and walking about in triumph upon the deck of the boat.

  And the men and women, boys and girls, who were watching from thebank applauded their loudest and cried out: "Long live the conquerorof Stercke Pier! He is a man of iron! Did you see how he cuffed himwith his fist, and how he threw him down on his back with a blowof his hand? But see, they are now about to drink together to makethe peace! Stercke Pier is coming up from the hold with wine andsausages!" And in very truth, Stercke Pier might now have been seencoming on deck with two tankards and a quart of white Meuse wine. AndLamme and the boatman made their peace. After which Lamme asked hisnew friend what sort of fricassees they were that were being cookedin the hold of the ship; for at one end of the deck was a chimneywhence rose a column of thick black smoke. And the boatman made answer:

  "Since you are men of valiant heart, knowing well the song of the lark,the bird of freedom, and the warlike clarion of the cock, and the brayof the ass withal, come you with me and I will show you my kitchen."

  And so saying he led the way into the hold, where, removing certainplanks from the floor, he disclosed some mighty piles of gun-barrels,together with a quantity of iron lances, halberds, sword-blades,and a great heap of powder and shot.

  "Where shall I take them?" he asked.

  "To Emden, through the North Sea," said Ulenspiegel, "good Beggarmanthat you are!"

  "The sea is big," said the boatman.

  "Big for battle," said Ulenspiegel.

  "God is with us," said the boatman.

  "Who then can be against us?" cried Ulenspiegel.

  And when they had thus spoken, the boatman conducted Lamme andUlenspiegel on deck, with many words of cheer and good counsel. Thenthey rowed to the bank, where they mounted again upon their donkeysand set off towards Liege.

  "My son," said Lamme whilst they were ambling gently along, "pray tellme why did that man, strong as he was, allow himself to be beaten byme so cruelly?"

  "To the end," answered Ulenspiegel, "that wherever we go, the fear ofyour prowess may go before us. That indeed will prove a more powerfulescort than twenty landsknechts. For who would dare to measurehis strength with Lamme the mighty, Lamme the conqueror? Lamme thematchless bull among men, that overcame in the sight of all beholdersthe famous Stercke Pier--Peter the Strong--and threw him to the groundlike a feather?"

  "You say well, my son," said Lamme, drawing himself up in the saddle.

  "And I say what is true," answered Ulenspiegel, "for did you notnotice the faces that looked out so curiously from the houses on theoutskirts of this village? They were pointing at the terrible figureof Lamme the Conqueror! And do you see these men who are gazing onyou even now with such envy, and these sorry cowards who uncoveras you pass? Answer to their salute, O Lamme, my sweet one, nor bedisdainful of the populace. Behold, the very children know your nameand whisper it with terror."

  And Lamme passed along proudly, saluting right and left like aking. And the fame of his valour followed him from village to villageand from town to town, as far as Liege, Chocquier, La Neuville, Vesin,and Namur, to which place, however, our travellers gave a wide berthbecause of the three evangelists. And so they wended along by the banksof river and canal, and everywhere the song of the lark answered thesong of the cock. And wherever they went they found that in the sacredcause of Liberty weapons were being forged and armour furbished forthe ships that stood by along the coast to carry away.

  And Lamme, preceded everywhere by his glorious reputation, beganhimself to believe in his own prowess, and growing proud and warlike helet his beard grow too. And Ulenspiegel called him Lamme the Lion. ButLamme did not continue in this purpose longer than the fourth day,because the hairs of his beard began to tickle him. And he passeda razor over the surface of his victorious countenance, so that itappeared thereafter like his own face once more, round and full asthe sun, ablaze with the flame of good nourishment. And thus theycame at length to Harlebeke.

  XXIII

  At Harlebeke Lamme renewed his provision of oliekoekjes, eatingseven-and-twenty of them on the spot and putting thirty away into hisbasket. The same evening they came to Courtrai and dismounted fromtheir donkeys at the tavern of the Bee that was kept by one GilisVan den Ende, who himself came to the inn door as soon as he heardthe singing of the lark.

  At once the new arrivals found that everything was made like sugar andhoney for them; for mine host, as soon as he had seen the letter fromthe Prince, presented Ulenspiegel with fifty caroluses on the Prince'sbehalf, nor would he accept any payment at all for the turkey whichhe served for their dinner, nor yet for the dobbel clauwaert which hegave them to drink. He warned them also that there were many spiesin Courtrai, and that it behoved both Ulenspiegel and his companionto keep a close watch on what they said during their stay in the city.

  "We shall be careful," said Ulenspiegel and Lamme. And so saying theycame out of the tavern.

  The gables of the houses were all gilded in the rays of the settingsun. The birds sang in the lime-trees, and Lamme and Ulenspiegelwandered at their ease along the streets of the town. All at onceLamme said:

  "I asked Martin Van den Ende if by chance he had seen any one atall resembling my wife in Courtrai, and he told me that there were anumber of women that were accustomed to meet together of an eveningat the sign of the Rainbow, a house that is kept by a woman calledLa Stevenyne, just outside the town on the road to Bruges. I shallgo there."

  "I will meet you anon," said Ulenspiegel. "But now I would seethe sights of the town. If I meet your wife I will send her on toyou. Meanwhile remember what the innkeeper said, and keep your owncounsel if you value your own skin."

  "I will be careful," said Lamme.

  Ulenspiegel walked about by himself till the sun set and night beganto come on quickly. He had come to the Pierpot-Straetje--the Alleyof the Pot of Stone--and there he heard the sound of a viola beingplayed most melodiously, and presently he noticed a white figurethat beckoned to him from a distance, then retreated, playing theviola all the time. It was a woman, and she sang like a seraphim,a sweet, slow song, stopping now and then to look behind her with abeckoning gesture, then retreating again. But Ulenspiegel ran quicklyand overtook her, and was about to speak to her when she sealed hislips with a hand all scented with benjamin.

  "Are you a working man or a nobleman?" she asked.r />
  "I am Ulenspiegel."

  "Are you rich?"

  "Rich enough for you."

  "But you have not seen me!" And she opened the lantern she carriedso as to let the light shine straight upon her face.

  "You are beautiful," said Ulenspiegel.

  "Then come with me," she said.

  And she brought him to the house of La Stevenyne, on the road toBruges, at the sign of the Rainbow.

  They entered a large room where a great number of girls were assembled,who all looked up jealously at Ulenspiegel's companion as she camein. And suddenly Ulenspiegel saw Lamme, sitting there in a corner bya little table whereon was a candle, a ham, and a pot of beer. By hisside were a couple of girls, who were endeavouring to get a share inthe ham and the beer; but Lamme was trying to prevent them. As soonas he noticed Ulenspiegel he jumped up, crying:

  "Blessed be God who has given back to me my friend! Bring more drink,baesine!"

  At this Ulenspiegel drew out his purse, saying:

  "Yes, bring us to drink to the value of what is in here!" and hejingled the money that was in the purse.

  "No, by heaven!" cried Lamme, seizing the purse. "It's I that shallpay, not you."

  Ulenspiegel would have recovered the purse by force, but Lamme kepttight hold. As they were struggling together, the one to keep thepurse, the other to get it back again, Lamme whispered by fits andstarts into Ulenspiegel's ear:

  "Listen. Constables. Here ... four of them ... in the little roomwith three girls. Two outside waiting for you and for me.... I triedto go out ... prevented.... The girl over there in the brocaded gownis a spy ... Stevenyne a spy!"