Don't Push Me

by Ewan McGregor

  The wasteland was far enough away that the car hopefully wouldn’t be found for a while and the evidence would be obliterated. Well, that was the plan anyway. It wasn’t like Kat had done this before. She was winging it.

  Kat changed into her new set of clothes, put the hood of her jacket up and headed for the flat as quick as she could, praying she wouldn’t bump into anyone. It was unlikely given the early hour, but you never knew who was watching.

  She was sweating profusely even though it was cold at this hour. She walked as fast as her overweight body allowed and tried not to think of what had just happened. What she had just done. She turned things over in her mind. It wasn’t even murder, she thought – if anything it was self-defence, culpable homicide they would call it maybe. Although, now she had gone that crucial step further and got rid of the body in a cold, calculated manner. There was no way she could put that down to any sort of accident. It had been planned and carried out with alarming swiftness and efficiency. Pre-meditated the police would say. Had she always been capable of such deeds or had Rachel pushed her so far that she had snapped? This clearly wasn’t normal behaviour.

  Kat couldn’t get Rachel’s face out of her mind. The image of herself pouring bleach onto the body and the flames flashed into her head and wouldn’t shift. It was imprinted on her brain. The smell of burning flesh and bleach would remain with her until she met her maker, she was sure of that.

  The weird thing was though, Kat wasn’t sure who she was feeling sorrier for – Rachel or herself?

  24

  As Kat walked home the heavens opened. The rain lashed down on her and there were rumbles of thunder. It seemed appropriate. It summed up the whole dark mood of the evening perfectly.

  Kat hoped the rain wouldn’t put out the fires before all the evidence had been completely destroyed, then she scolded herself internally – who the hell was she anymore? How could Kat be capable of these thoughts? How could she be capable of these dark deeds? How had this been allowed to happen? Things had spiralled completely out of control.

  It took Kat around half an hour to walk back to the flat, and she was absolutely drenched and exhausted by the time she put her key in the door. Her luck was holding for once – no one was around because of the rain and the early hour. She stripped off her sodden clothes and threw them in the washing machine in case any fibres had transferred their way onto her.

  Whilst the washing machine spun, Kat went for a hot shower. She stood under the shower head for much longer than usual. She felt numb as she went over everything that had happened over the past few days. No amount of hot water could wash away her sins.

  She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. There wasn’t much point in trying anyway, as she was due to leave for work in a couple of hours. Her mind was doing overtime in any case. Kat couldn’t help thinking she had forgotten something that would incriminate her and bring the whole thing tumbling down.

  The car park CCTV was the main problem now, and she was going to grab the bull by the horns and deal with that first thing this morning. If the CCTV had been positioned to take in Kat’s car then it was over – all of this had been for nothing and Kat would duly be arrested for murder and for trying to cover up said murder in an extreme way that no one would comprehend. There would be no explaining it away. Kat’s life as she knew it would be over. All she could do was hope and pray that the cameras had been facing another area of the car park.

  She would find out soon enough.

  Kat sat on her couch in the complete silence and darkness of her flat. How she missed Kiddles. She eventually rose and began to get ready to face the world again as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. If the CCTV was going to bring her down, she was better finding out sooner rather than later. There was no point putting it off.

  Kat had a phone call to make before she left for work and dealt with the CCTV though.

  ‘Which service do you require?’

  ‘Police, please. I’d like to report a stolen car…’

  25

  It’s no wonder hardly anyone seemed to report crime these days. The rigmarole on the phone dealing with the police operator was very stressful indeed. Kat would have given up if she hadn’t been trying so hard to cover her tracks. She only wanted to report her car as stolen but it took forever.

  The woman on the phone was nice enough, but she asked some frankly ridiculous questions. She had even asked if there was any chance Kat had just misplaced her car. She had nearly said, ‘Hold on a minute and I’ll just see if it’s fallen down the side of the couch,’ but she had restrained herself. Kat didn’t want to be remembered so tried not to say anything out of the ordinary or memorable.

  Her car was obviously not a top priority. They said someone would be out within the next day or two and she was told not to hold out much hope for the vehicle’s safe return. Kat felt as if she was wasting police time. They just seemed happy to give her a crime report number and be done with it. The phone call didn’t exactly inspire confidence in Police Scotland. All of which suited Kat just fine. She didn’t want the car found promptly – she hoped the car would never be found.

  *

  Kat’s journey to work took a little longer this morning due to not having her car. She took the subway from Kelvinbridge to Buchanan Street and then walked the short distance to the bank. It was a journey filled with trepidation as to what awaited her. This could be the last time she enjoyed the fresh air and freedom for a long while if things went badly. It may have been a crisp, cold morning but Kat didn’t feel the chill. So much rested on what was going to happen this morning.

  Kat arrived at work. She walked round to the side of the bank, where the entrance to the underground car park was.

  This was it. The moment her actions came crashing down. Or the moment getting away with murder became real.

  She headed straight to the little security booth, where an older man sat reading a dog-eared paperback. He looked on the verge of sleep. Kat knew the security man had worked there for years but he was either very shy or very ignorant because he barely said two words to anyone. Kat had, to her knowledge, never had a conversation with him in all the time she had worked there. He always looked bored to tears, and who could blame him? Watching over an underground car park for a living wasn’t likely to be the most exciting or challenging job in the world.

  Kat took a deep breath then knocked on the door and entered.

  ‘Hi, I was wondering if you could help me out?’ Kat said, hoping her nerves wouldn’t come across. This could be a pivotal moment in her life. It could change the entire course of it forever.

  ‘What’s the problem, darling?’ the security guard asked. He didn’t look like he would be able to offer much security to anyone. He was barely fighting sleep.

  ‘It’s nothing really. It’s just… there was a small scratch on my car last night and I was just wondering if the CCTV showed anyone hitting it?’

  The security guard looked forlorn; he wasn’t used to actually doing anything in this role. He must have been at a good part in his novel, as he didn’t want to part with it. Kat wondered if he actually knew how to go back and check the tapes or if it was all linked to a computer. Either way, the guy looked as if he’d rather be having dental surgery than help Kat.

  ‘Do you know what time last night?’ he said. ‘That would help me narrow it down.’

  ‘I do as it happens; it was between 6 p.m. and 6.30 p.m.’

  The security guard looked surprised – he wasn’t expecting a time, especially such a narrow time frame. He even put down his book, although he didn’t look very happy at having to do so.

  ‘I’d been down to my car for some papers at 6 p.m. and the car was fine, then I left the building at 6.30 p.m. and there was a scratch on it,’ Kat offered as further explanation. Not that it was really needed – the security guy was barely listening.

  ‘Okay, I’ll have a look at the system. Where was the motor parked?’

  ‘It was parked
in bay three.’ Kat hoped he wasn’t noting all of this down.

  The man fiddled with the screens in front of him and after a few minutes of agonising searching and muttered cursing, he had found the desired time frame. Kat tried to breathe normally.

  ‘Right, here we are.’

  Kat braced herself for what was said next. This was it. She held her breath. Everything rested on this.

  ‘No… nope, you’re out of luck, sweetheart. The camera was pointing elsewhere between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. I’m really sorry, love,’ he said, smiling. He was one step closer to getting rid of Kat and returning to his novel.

  ‘No, no, it’s fine – it was just out of curiosity. Don’t worry about it,’ Kat said, edging out of the door. She could have hugged him.

  Kat hoped her sense of relief wasn’t showing on her face. She needn’t have worried though – the security guard ushered her out and went back to his book. Kat was already forgotten about.

  Kat left the little booth and stopped to think for a moment. She smiled. For the first time since this whole sorry episode began, Kat thought she might just get away with it.

  26

  Kat slowly made her way up the stairs from the underground car park to work. She had had enough of the lift to last her a lifetime, plus she was in no rush to get into the office. However, it wasn’t through fears of bullying. Kat was weighing up all that had taken place. So much had happened in such a short period of time and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

  It was strange. She had been going through a whole range of emotions since the fateful incident, and she couldn’t rid Rachel’s burning image from her mind. Kat knew she was responsible for a young girl’s life prematurely coming to an end, but if she was being honest with herself, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was relief. Relief that she would no longer have to put up with Rachel and the bullying in work, or anywhere else for that matter. Relief that the CCTV hadn’t recorded what had happened and she wouldn’t be spending the rest of her days in prison. Relief that seeing her grandchildren being born hadn’t been snatched away from her. Kat knew this feeling wasn’t normal. Surely she should be a quivering wreck after what had happened?

  Kat made herself a coffee and sat at her desk. An hour or so into her shift she heard a few of her colleagues talking about Rachel and for a horrible moment thought she had been found already. That would scupper her plan in its infancy. However, they were only wondering where she was. Obviously, she hadn’t turned up for work this morning. Only Kat knew the reason why. Only Kat knew that she would never be turning up for work ever again.

  Kat sneaked away to the toilets but not for a cry as she usually did. She was going to text Tony, the inept manager, and buy herself some time. The text wouldn’t be from her own phone though; it would be from Rachel’s. She really should have done this earlier, but the CCTV had taken up the majority of her time and thoughts. Now that was taken care of, Kat could concentrate on other matters.

  It was extremely risky carrying Rachel’s phone around with her, but Kat needed to get a good look at it and she hadn’t had a chance as yet. She knew she should get rid of the thing, but in the back of her mind she had a thought that if she could convince a few people Rachel was still alive and well then it would work out better for her. Or it would prolong the agony. Either way, she was going to inspect it.

  Kat scrolled through Rachel’s contacts until she came to Tony M. She thumbed her way into texts so she could compose a new message to him. There were loads of messages between the pair of them already on the phone. Kat couldn’t believe what she was reading.

  Rachel and Tony were having an affair. There was absolutely no doubt about it – the messages were filthy.

  Oh my God – there were photos!

  Kat composed a message quickly. She had been in the toilet for longer than she realised – time flew by when you were reading someone’s explicit messages. She sent the small text to Tony – trying her best to copy Rachel’s phrasing and style.

  Not coming in today. Can you cover for me? See you soon – look forward to next meet lol xx

  Kat put the phone back in her bag, making doubly sure it was switched off. She couldn’t wait to further inspect it at lunch and after work. What else would she uncover if she had stumbled upon an affair between Rachel and her manager within two minutes of turning the thing on?

  Back at her desk, Kat couldn’t help smiling. Today was going to be a good day – she was absolutely sure about that. She smiled at the knowledge of Rachel and Tony’s affair. She smiled at the thought that Rachel would never bother her again.

  27

  Kat couldn’t concentrate at all in the office. All she could focus on was Rachel’s phone. She needed to see what else was on it and she needed to do it today. She absolutely had to get rid of it as soon as possible.

  At lunchtime, Kat tried to find somewhere quiet where she could look at the phone in peace. However, her options were limited. She couldn’t sit in her car anymore as she’d got rid of it, and she didn’t want to sit in the toilet for her lunch hour. The canteen was too busy and she couldn’t take the chance that someone would see something they shouldn’t or notice that she had a different phone today. Or worse still, notice that she had Rachel’s phone.

  Kat walked out from the bank onto Bothwell Street and found a little cafe which didn’t look too busy. It didn’t look too welcoming either. The paint peeled from the walls and the place looked in dire need of a makeover. There were a couple of high chairs at the window which allowed patrons to sit with their food. The lack of customers suited Kat just fine though. All she wanted was a bit of privacy.

  She paid for a dubious-looking salad roll and a coffee which looked like black sludge and took a seat. Time was moving on. Kat pulled out Rachel’s phone and read whilst nibbling at her roll. From the moment she turned the device on, she was being constantly interrupted with phone calls and notifications from people eager to get in contact with Rachel. This emphasised the need to ditch the phone. It was only a matter of time before she was reported missing.

  Kat was reading messages between Rachel and her fiancé Jason whilst trying to digest her roll. The coffee tasted as bad as it looked. It was clear from the messages that there wasn’t much love around for a couple who were meant to be tying the knot soon. They were constantly arguing and sniping at each other, and the last two messages indicated that something significant had happened very recently. Kat took it that Jason had hit Rachel after he had been provoked somehow.

  Rachel: ‘You do that to me again and you’ll be sorry.’

  Jason: ‘I didn’t mean it but don’t fuckin threatn me.’

  Kat was thinking how she could use this information to her advantage somehow, but the idea would have to wait. Time flew by when you were perusing a dead girl’s phone and Kat realised she had to get back to the office. Her lunch break was just about over.

  Throughout the afternoon, Kat kept nipping off to the toilet for brief looks at the phone. No one seemed to notice. However, every time Kat turned the handset on someone invariably phoned, which meant she had to wait for the call to end and couldn’t look at the messages. It was incredibly frustrating. She knew time was limited, as the longer she kept Rachel’s phone, the higher the chance of her being caught with it in her possession.

  *

  Kat’s work day was almost at an end. It hadn’t been as productive as she’d hoped. She had been thinking about all the events over the past few days, but she hadn’t managed to look at the phone as much as she would’ve liked. She couldn’t concentrate on work, and if management looked into what she had achieved today then she was for the high jump. Fortunately, it was only Tony who could check up on her, and he was far too lazy to get involved.

  Kat looked again at the email advertising for the team manager’s job to replace naughty Tony. Kat knew she could do the job far better than he could. What was stopping her? How could she even be thinking about her career pro
spects at a time like this? She had just disposed of her young colleague’s body hours before, yet here she was looking into the possibility of gaining a promotion at work. Her mind was muddled. She’d been through a hell of a lot over the past few days. Applying for a promotion at work wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. What’s the worst that could happen? No time like the present.

  Kat followed the link to the job advert and clicked ‘Apply’.

  28

  Looks like Rachel’s bottle has well and truly crashed. She never made it to work today. I talked to Tony about it and he said she’d text him but she never bothered to text me. He’s been a bit funny as well. Went a bit weird when I questioned him about Rachel. Why’s she texting him and not me anyway? They’re not even that friendly. If it wasn’t for me then Tony wouldn’t have given her the job.

  She’ll be back in a few days I reckon, once she’s realised what a drama queen she’s being. Once she’s calmed down. She shouldn’t have agreed to do it if she wasn’t up for it. It’s not like I forced her – well, not this time.

  She needs to get her shit together. For God’s sake, it was only a cat.

  She knows why we’re doing this. She knows the end game. Not that she’s going to benefit much out of it. But fuck it, I can’t be worrying about that.

  29

  Kat knew that mobile phones could be tracked. For this reason, she had decided that she wasn’t going to risk turning the phone on in her flat and alerting the police to her location. At the very least it could let them know that the phone had been in her flat for a prolonged period of time when they inevitably started to investigate Rachel’s disappearance or murder.