Contradictions

by Tiffany King

  I was pondering Melissa’s words when Cameo danced over to me, dragging Chad behind her, who was in turn dragging his human dog behind him.

  She was practically bursting with excitement. “Guess what?” For a second I thought Chad had spilled to her about the rafting prank. This was college life. No secret was sacred.

  “What?” I tried to look surprised, expecting to hear news of the prank I already knew about.

  “Chad told me they installed a stripper pole in the rec room. Do you want to give these boys a real show?” She looked knowingly at me, making me smirk.

  Cameo and I decided last year it would be fun to take a pole dancing class. The class turned out to be a lot more intense than we thought. To put it mildly, we now had a healthy respect for the chicks that did it for a living. When it was all said and done, we had managed to squeak through enough lessons to give a decent showing.

  Our small group headed downstairs, and I noticed others starting to follow as word began to spread of what Cameo and I had planned. The chatter crescendoed as we made our way into the rec room. The Ping-Pong table and air hockey table had been moved from their normal locations in the center of the room to make space for the shiny new pole. Currently, a drunk blonde with boobs that rivaled mine was straddling the pole. Whether it was her intoxication or just a lack of rhythm, she looked like she needed the pole more to hold herself up than to do any dancing. She was unceremoniously booed from the pole when she tried to make up for her lack of skills by humping it. Another girl stepped in to take her place. I recognized her from the speech class I took last fall. She was at least a halfway decent dancer, but she didn’t have a clue what to do with the pole.

  “This is painful to watch,” Cameo murmured in my ear.

  “Tell me about it. If she runs her tongue up the pole one more time, I may have to gouge my eyes out.”

  “When are you two going to put her out of her misery?” Chad interrupted.

  “We’re biding our time. If all the dancers perform like this, it’ll make ours more meaningful,” Cameo mumbled out of the corner of her mouth.

  We endured two more showgirl wannabes when we finally decided enough was enough. The atmosphere changed abruptly when Cameo and I approached the pole. During the class we had taken, we pretty much perfected a dance that teased and enticed without giving anything away. The catcalls and groans got louder and louder as Cameo and I moved our hips in a rhythmic motion. Part of the routine had us unclasping the top few buttons of each other’s blouses, exposing just enough cleavage to have all the guys yelling. In the big finale, I slid slowly down with my back against the pole and my face just inches from Cameo’s bosom. She then spread her legs, as I ducked underneath and swayed up her backside as she turned her head back to me, looking like we were about to kiss, but stopping just before. By the time we were done, every male in the vicinity had taken off his shirt. They twirled them in the air as they screamed their approval.

  We joined Chad, who was high-fiving the guys standing around him. He threw his arms around us like our dance had been an invitation. “Holy fuck, you sure you two wouldn’t like to—you know?”

  “That’s as close as it’s going to get, loverboy,” I said, spotting Melissa, who was gesturing me over. “I’ll catch you guys in a little while.”

  6.

  “Okay, here’s the deal,” Melissa began. “The brothers are getting ready to round up the pledges. Steve knows you’ll be driving with me. Everyone else will be at the bottom of the rapids so they can see the guys in all their naked glory when they finish.”

  “Or lack of glory,” I snorted. We both laughed as we headed up the stairs. The rest of the partygoers caught wind of something coming up. Excitement rippled through the crowd when one of the fraternity brothers passed out flyers giving directions to the location where everyone should go.

  After some mild confusion, Melissa was designated as a driver for the overflow of pledges. I probably should have found Cameo or Derek to let them know where I was going, but I was too excited. I claimed the front seat while three freshmen piled into the back. They had dumped their leashes, but were still wearing Speedos. The fraternity conceded and let them at least wear jackets for now, although none of the pledges knew it was only temporary. Melissa looked at me, giggling as I returned her grin. These poor saps had no idea what they were in for.

  The drive to the drop-off point at Penobscot River passed with nervous bursts of chatter from the backseat as the guys mulled over what the final stunt was going to be. I felt a pinch of sympathy for them. This was one of the main reasons I never joined a sorority. It was fun watching what the pledges had to endure, but God knows I could never have tolerated some of the shit the wannabes are put through. I wanted to be the one doing the pranking, not the other way around.

  The talking in the backseat hit a lull as we got closer to the river. Glancing back, I could see two of the pledges exchanging nervous looks. I couldn’t blame them. In the pitch black of night, it was hard to imagine what they had coming. I caught the eyes of the third pledge. Unlike his comrades, he looked anything but nervous. His brown eyes sparkled with excitement and eagerness. He winked at me appraisingly and I shook my head. A fearless freshman. Very soon we would see if he still had his confidence.

  Eventually, Melissa pulled off the road and drove down a path that was lined with mostly bare trees. In the darkness, everything looked spooky and had a sinister feel to it. Even the moon seemed to be teasing us by barely peeking out behind the clouds that were hanging low in the sky.

  The dirt road was laced with ruts and protruding roots, making us bounce uncomfortably in our seats. We were relieved when the road finally ended abruptly near the water’s edge. Melissa parked next to a line of other cars that were facing the water with their headlights on. Climbing from the vehicle, I spotted a row of rafts that were already blown up and ready to go on the shore’s edge. Obviously, Sigma Pi was not taking any chances on this stunt going awry.

  The pledges in our car piled out, following Melissa and me toward the rest of the group. The ground beneath our feet was damp, making our feet squish through the mud. I grimaced for my heels that would most likely be ruined. Mr. Brown-Eyed Flirt from the ride over chivalrously held on to my elbow, helping me walk.

  “Thanks,” I said, indulgently smiling at his hopeful face. He was cute, with warm brown eyes and dimples in each cheek, but definitely not my type. Despite my original assessment, I could tell he was likely an all-around good guy.

  “I’m David,” he said.

  “Too young,” I replied.

  “What?” He looked confused.

  “I don’t date freshmen. Not even when I was a freshman.”

  “So, you’re telling me you’re a freshman hater?”

  “Not a hater. Just not a dater.”

  “Ha, that’s funny. You don’t know what you’re missing, though,” he said, releasing my arm as we joined the others.

  “I have a pretty good idea,” I answered, grinning. His persistence was cute, I’d give him that. “You better join your friends before you blow your chance,” I added before I could give in to his boyish charms.

  “Maybe we can hang out after,” he persisted, winking at me again before jogging off to join the others.

  I shook my head. Can’t blame him for trying, I guess.

  The group was rowdy by the time I joined it. There was a lot of ribbing and pushing as they let off steam waiting for Steve’s instructions. Several of the guys bounced around trying to stay warm. As if the night wanted to punish them further, a cold gust of wind blew through the trees. The half-dressed crew seemed to shiver as one. I felt their pain. It was downright cold near the water. I was thankful for once that this was a prank I wouldn’t be taking part in. Melissa must have had the same sentiments since we both zipped up our jackets and stuffed our hands into our pockets at the same time.

  “All right, asswipes. This last challenge is easy enough. When I blow the whistle, each of you w
ill grab a raft and an oar and head downriver. The takeout is about two miles away. The first five to make it will earn their places in the fraternity. Simple as that. Before you crybabies start whining, this rapid is not even a class-three rating. They take kids on this run.” His words seemed unnecessary judging by the roughhousing and taunts being thrown out.

  It was obvious the pledges were raring to go. That is, until Steve lowered the final boom.

  “One last thing. You’ll be competing in your birthday suits.”

  Groans filled the air.

  “You heard me. Drop your banana holders and shed those jackets.”

  My eyes found David, who winked at me again. He held my stare as he hooked his fingers around the waistband of his Speedo, lowering it slightly to reveal more of the small trail of hair that ran down his abdomen.

  His eyes remained locked on my face as he grinned confidently. Cocky was more like it.

  Not one to back down, I watched as he gently slid his Speedo to his ankles before kicking it off. He stood before us in all his naked glory without an ounce of embarrassment. Not that he had anything to be embarrassed about, I discovered, as I looked him over appraisingly before turning away nonchalantly. He was built and had a six-pack that I wouldn’t mind exploring with my tongue, but I didn’t date freshmen. That rule was written in stone.

  The other pledges weren’t nearly as daring as young David. They stared at Melissa and me like they were expecting us to turn around, but neither of us gave any indication of caring. They wouldn’t be showing us anything we hadn’t seen before.

  After a few more grumbles, they finally conceded and stripped. I pulled out my phone, taking several pictures of the makeshift male revue, but had to crop them right above their junk. I didn’t want to get my Instagram account shut down for posting nudie pictures.

  I had just finished posting and giving Melissa the full credit for one of the pictures when Steve blew the whistle. I snapped one last picture of their white asses as each of the pledges scrambled to grab a raft and an oar. There was a lot of pushing and shoving, along with hooting and hollering from the onlookers. It was as hilarious as I thought it would be.

  Even with several headlights lighting the area, it was hard to see in the dark, but we knew when the first raft hit the water by the sound of the splash. Within seconds, several other splashes followed by a string of cursing rang through the night as the pledges got their first feel of the ice-cold water. They’d be lucky if their nuts didn’t freeze off. The fraternity brothers on shore seemed unconcerned about the temperatures. Judging by their laughter and congratulations to each other, they were satisfied with their well-executed prank.

  Once the last raft hit the water, we all piled back into our vehicles so we could join everyone else at the finish line. The ride was short, and Melissa and I traded notes on who had the best body based on what we had seen. We were laughing about what the cold water would be doing to them when Melissa pulled into a lot that was nearly packed full with cars. It looked like most of the party had showed up.

  “Catch you later,” Melissa said, throwing me an air-kiss as she headed off to join Steve. Waving good-bye, I headed toward the bonfire that had been lit to search for Cameo and Derek. The flames from the fire cast shadows that only seemed to be enhanced by the tall pine trees that surrounded the clearing. I was just about to text Cameo when she snuck up behind me.

  “Whore, where have you been?”

  “Sheesh, don’t be a creeper,” I complained.

  “Oh, please, as if tough-ass Tressa ever gets scared.”

  “Sure, look around. This party has classic slasher movie written all over it. I expected to find you stuck to a tree with a hatchet through your forehead or something equally macabre,” I teased.

  “Great, so you’re telling me I’d be the first to die?”

  “No. Big-Boob Trish would get it first. The chicks with the huge knockers always go first.”

  Cameo looked directly at my ample bosom without saying another word.

  “I know. I’d be screwed, right?”

  “True story.” She smirked, taking a drink of some concoction from the red Solo cup in her hand. “Now, are you going to tell me where you were?”

  “I was getting some epic pictures, my honey bear,” I said, handing her my phone. I wobbled slightly as my left heel sank an inch into the soft soil near the water’s edge. “Crap, I knew I should have worn those new boots I got a couple weeks ago. These heels are done, and that’s the second time I’ve almost biffed it.”

  “Well, it’s not like any of us were counting on hanging out at the river tonight,” she said disdainfully, pulling on the hem of the MSC sweatshirt she was wearing.

  “Chad’s?” I asked, even though it was obvious by the way she was swimming in it. Chad was a lineman for Maine State’s football team and had the bulk to prove it.

  “Yeah, he was afraid I’d freeze without it.” Cameo acted like wearing the sweatshirt was somehow an inconvenience, but the dreamy look in her eyes said otherwise. Her tone was different from the usual way she talked about her flings. Usually, by the third or fourth date, she was already beginning to look for greener pastures, which was a shame since some of the guys were actually decent. Not like the asshats I dated.

  “What’s up with that? Am I crazy, or am I sensing something here?” I asked.

  “I don’t know yet. I still haven’t decided,” she answered, looking like she was waiting for me to criticize the situation. This was definitely interesting.

  Derek joined us before I could dig any further. Cameo practically sighed with relief. Something was up. She may have thought she was off the hook, but I would pry it out of her later.

  “Where were you?” Derek asked, twisting the cap off his beer.

  “Taking pictures,” Cameo answered for me as she handed my phone to him.

  “Not bad,” Derek said, flipping through the pictures. “Too bad they’re babies. Some of these freshmen have it going on.”

  “I’m not too sure about that. Their junk looked pretty insignificant.” I grinned at him.

  “Hey, don’t mock shrinkage. It’s a real issue that plagues all guys.” He coughed, looking uncomfortable.

  I held up my finger. “Are we talking pinkie size?”

  “Like I would tell you,” Derek replied, swiping at my pinkie. I looked at him balefully. “Fine, it’s worse,” he admitted.

  Worse, Cameo mouthed to me before we both started laughing.

  “You girls have no sympathy for the plight of a man. How can you without a dick?”

  “Oh, poor little teeny weenie. We’re so sorry,” I cooed.

  Cameo doubled over, laughing.

  “Maybe it’s time for me to find some new friends,” Derek said, making a move to leave.

  “Come on, don’t go. We love you,” I drawled, looping my arm through his.

  “No, you don’t,” he pouted.

  “We do,” Cameo assured him, finally able to talk.

  We were trying to convince him that he was more important to us than our morning coffee, which was the highest compliment we could give him, when the first raft came into view. We all surged to the water’s edge to cheer on the first new fraternity brother. Catcalls erupted from the crowd as everyone scored his shrinkage. He was given a Sigma Pi T-shirt and some sweats. He was grinning ear to ear as he pulled on the clothes. His new fraternity brothers clapped him on the back and handed him drinks. He’d be plastered within an hour.

  The next raft arrived shortly after that, followed by two more. The previous scene was repeated as the new fraternity brothers were welcomed to the fold. With pledge week about to come to an end, the Sigmas began their house chant as they waited for the fifth and final brother to arrive. The rest of us joined in. The chanting hit a crescendo as four more rafts came into view.

  From the shore we could see the competitors were playing dirty, using their oars to splash water at one another and to push against the other rafts. We encou
raged their tactics by calling out advice of our own.

  In the end, it was one of the three pledges that rode with Melissa and me earlier who came out the victor. I cheered loudly for him when he looked my way. I had to admit, I felt a tinge of disappointment that it wasn’t Mr. Brown-Eyed Flirt.

  “New boyfriend?” Derek teased, catching our exchange.

  “Please. He looks like he’s twelve. Cameo may like playing with the young guns, but not me.”

  “Bite me, bitch. Chad’s only a year younger than me.”

  “For half a year. The other half, he’s two years younger,” Derek added helpfully.

  I snorted.

  “He’s mature for his age.” I was surprised at the touch of insecurity that crept into her voice. She had it bad for him. Derek raised his eyebrows at me, obviously catching the same vibe.

  He slung an arm around her shoulders, tucking her under the crook of his arm. “We get it, hummingbird, you like him.” Cameo started to protest, but Derek shot her down. “It’s okay to occasionally look at a guy as something other than a toy.”

  “Toys are better,” she grumbled. “Or they used to be.” She sounded bewildered.

  “You have it bad, hummingbird,” Derek said, placing a kiss on the top of her head as he winked at me.

  She continued to argue as we stood around waiting for the last of the pledge hopefuls to arrive. Two more arrived after the last victor was crowned. They were forced to do the walk of shame to retrieve clothes from a stack the fraternity had piled by the road. They covered their junk the best they could as they made their way past so they could get dressed. More pictures were snapped as jokes and comments ran rampant.

  Somewhere between the music being turned up and drinks being consumed, the vibe of the party subtly changed. Derek and I both sensed it at the same time. Our eyes moved to where a few guys had staggered through the shallow water to retrieve an empty deflated raft that had drifted ashore. Melissa and Steve huddled together with several of the fraternity brothers. Every few seconds they would cast worried looks upriver.