Tiger's Dream (Tiger's Curse Book 5)

by Colleen Houck

  She was all I could see. All I could think of. I didn’t know what to label my feelings. Love felt not quite right. Not quite enough. I needed Ana’s help to define us. What we were, what we could be, was too big, too significant a thing to attempt to identify it on my own.

  When I joined her outside, I was astonished to see the thick snow and ice all around the temple had melted. It had happened before. I remembered it now, but at the time I’d thought it was due to the fire or the power of the goddess. Now I knew it had been caused by something else. Steam shot up from the ground and the land blossomed with new life. Like with the tree in Shangri-La, the change in the landscape was the direct result of our kiss.

  As I was marveling at the effect of our passionate embrace, she said, “There is a darkness that eats away at me in my weaker moments. I will not have you see it, Sohan.”

  Frowning and wishing she could trust me, I said, “There is nothing you can show me that I would find ugly, Ana.”

  I stepped closer, wanting to be near her. She’d wrapped her arms around her middle as if protecting herself. The fire and the wrath and the passion were spent, and what was left was something woeful and desperate and fragile. Hesitantly, I cupped my hands around her arms, pulling her back into my chest and giving her plenty of room to escape should she choose to leave.

  Ana leaned her head against me and I slowly ran my lips down the side of her creamy neck. My hands slid down her arms and encircled hers. A bright warmth, languid and peaceful, hummed along my skin. I tried to turn her toward me, wanting to show her a different side, not a man lost to appetite but one who could be considerate and doting. Her body stiffened and she raised her head. Immediately, I let go. I noticed the slump in her shoulders. Talk to me, I begged her. If she heard me, she didn’t respond.

  The atmosphere of the area surrounding the temple became hushed, and I realized how cold it was in the air. It wouldn’t be long before the area was once again covered by snow and ice. My breath fogged and I saw the telltale cloud of her own puffing around her head as she exhaled. Still, she didn’t look at me. “Since I technically beat you, I think you should tell me where you got those swords.” I winced as I said it, knowing it was the wrong thing to say, but trying to lighten the mood.

  “I lied,” she answered quietly. “Well, not really. They were given to me by a warlord when I defeated him in battle. They are part of my collection.”

  “So, you zapped home while I was waiting for you?”

  “I do not know zapped, but if you are asking if I left, the answer is no. I summoned them.”

  “You can do that without disappearing?” I asked.

  “I did the same thing when I produced a shard of the truth stone to put in the Grove of Dreams. My powers have grown,” she answered sadly, almost as if she despaired to think of it. “It’s like using my abilities without the gifts being nearby. Even when you separate yourself from me by centuries and a distance that would take months to cross on horseback, I can still access and use the Damon Amulet.”

  Not knowing what to say about that, I asked a different question. “Why did you call me Kishan before? Of all the insulting things you said to me, I think that one was the worst. And while I’m on the subject, why were you shamelessly throwing yourself at the old me?”

  She turned to look at me, a wry smile tickling the edges of her mouth, and sighed. “I only call you Kishan when you anger me. As for your other self, the old you sees only me. True, he is likely infatuated with the goddess, but he doesn’t know the vile things that lie in my past. He simply sees a woman he’s attracted to. You, on the other hand, know everything. It is…easier to say the things I wish to say to him.”

  I twisted my mouth. “So…you’re saying you wanted to flirt with me?”

  “What does flirt mean?”

  “It means to seduce with words. To tease in a romantic way.”

  “It is not a natural thing for me to speak with men in such a way. You are the exception. The old you, I mean.”

  Grinning lopsidedly, I said, “I wouldn’t mind if you practiced your flirting on this version of me.” I held out my hand and she placed hers in it. Drawing her closer, I said, “I was jealous of him, you know.”

  Cocking her head, she scoffed. “Jealous of yourself?”

  “I didn’t like you showering him with attention.”

  Cupping her chin, I was about to lower my head for a kiss when she touched her hands to my mouth to stop me. In that moment, she looked small, which was quite a feat for the statuesque goddess. “I am afraid, Sohan,” she murmured.

  “Afraid of me?” I asked.

  “Yes…no, not exactly. I know you do not mean to hurt me.”

  “I won’t hurt you, Ana.” As I said it, I took in her swollen lips, bruised from my kisses, and the puffiness on one of her cheeks from our fight. Disgusted with myself, I moved away. “At least it wasn’t my intention.” Who am I kidding? I had already hurt her. Yesubai was dead because of me, and I’d abandoned Kelsey when she asked me to help her in Kishkindha. She could have died, many times over. “Maybe it’s for the best that we keep our relationship simple,” I said.

  Her hand on my arm stopped me. “Our relationship will never be simple, Sohan. Nor do I want it to be. It is just that I…I need to come to terms with my past, and I do not wish to step wrongly where you are concerned. There is much to lose should we run headlong into battle.”

  “And by battle I’m assuming you mean a romance?” I glanced at her over my shoulder.

  She nodded.

  “But it is something you want to pursue?”

  “I do,” she answered quietly, stepping around me.

  I took hold of a strand of her hair and twisted it between my fingers. “Okay,” I said. “Then what do you foresee that might cause us to lose this battle?”

  “First, there is me. As you know I am more prone to cuff a man than kiss him. I was not always this way, but it is ingrained in me now. I fear it is a practice that will be difficult for me to overcome.”

  I smiled and rubbed my jaw. “Yes, I’d say I’m intimately aware of that tendency. Fortunately, I heal quickly. I think we can work through that problem, providing you are at least somewhat interested in kissing.”

  Her gaze lifted to my mouth. “Kissing you is something I’ve pondered often, Sohan. So often, in fact, it takes over my mind at the most inopportune moments.” My pulse leapt at her words. “Like flirting,” she went on, “it is a skill I want to hone. Perhaps, once I am well versed in it, kissing will no longer occupy my thoughts to such a degree.”

  For a moment, I forgot to breathe. “Good,” I stammered and swallowed. My neck felt tight and the cold air around the temple suddenly became warm. “Is there anything else on your list of concerns?”

  “There is also the fact that tigers do not mate for life,” she said plainly.

  “But goddesses do?” I asked.

  She nodded, biting her lip.

  Much as my younger self did, I took her hand, lifting her fingers to my lips, and kissed them lightly. “Ana, as much as you like to remind me of my animal nature and as much as I relish that aspect of myself, I am also a man. I am not a slave to instinct. That I have resisted your charms as long as I have should be a sign of my fidelity. I was not unfaithful to Kelsey. Nor was I untrue to Yesubai. If we forge ahead in this new…alliance, I will remain steadfast. You would already know this about me if you shared my thoughts openly.”

  Ana opened her mouth to explain herself again.

  “Like I said,” I stopped her before she could say anything, “there is nothing you could possibly be hiding that would diminish my respect for you. If you’re worried about a physical relationship, then put your mind at ease.”

  Reaching up to her face, I traced the shadow of her cheek with my thumb. “As much as I want you, and make no mistake, I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, we have a long, long life ahead of us, Ana. And I am a very patient man. I’ve waited centuries to find th
e woman of my dreams. I can wait a little longer.”

  Anamika gave me a probing look, like she couldn’t believe what I was saying though the truth stone hanging around her neck glowed, validating the things I was promising her. Finally, she nodded. “Very well. We will…practice at romance. I’m certain I can build up a tolerance for it if we proceed very slowly. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.” I smiled, thinking of how I’d like to begin courting, no, training Ana in romance. Now I just had to figure out a way to help her build up a tolerance. Ren would have laughed at a woman learning to tolerate me. I shook my head. Only Ana could be practical and alluring and frustrating and innocent all at the same time.

  “Do you need to rest?” she asked.

  I scrubbed at the bristle on my cheek. “It couldn’t hurt. I’d like to eat, at least.”

  She waved her hand and we disappeared, rematerializing not at our mountain home but in the jungle next to a running stream. Kneeling next to the water, she scooped up several mouthfuls. I followed suit and found the water clean and delicious and freezing. If the tiger inside me hadn’t kept me warm, my fingers would have been numb from the water. “Where are we?” I asked.

  “Near our home. I did not wish to go there yet. There are too many…”

  “Too many people around,” I finished.

  “Yes.”

  I understood. What had transpired between us felt new and tender. Being around others would diminish it in some way. She used the power of the amulet to heat the area around us and channel the distant Golden Fruit to create a meal. It felt like I hadn’t eaten in ages. I couldn’t help but notice the addition of cotton candy and popcorn. I introduced her to pizza, cheeseburgers, churros, and root beer floats.

  Ana liked the ice cream but not the root beer. After tasting them all, she created her preferred meal, roast venison with vegetables and hot, thick bread slathered with butter, preserves, and honey. Her choices filled the belly in a much more substantial way than the fluffy cotton and sugary treats from Kelsey’s time. We both ate and drank heartily and then our exhaustion pulled at us.

  When the remainder of our dinner disappeared into the ether, she fussed around a bit, looking for a spot comfortable enough to sleep in, and created thick bedrolls. Camping with multiple soldiers and even me was something she was very used to, but I could tell she was nervous this time.

  While she was at the stream, I fingered the leather collar Kelsey had given me so long ago. I smiled fondly at the memory. Slowly, I ran my thumb over the buckle and then undid the clasp. For a long minute, I sat there holding it and looking at it, thinking about what it represented. Just as Ana returned, I slipped it into our bag, finally closing a chapter of my old life.

  Ana kept glancing at me as she shifted around, getting comfortable, probably wondering why I was smiling like a cat who’d gotten into the cream. I’d been serious when I said we could go slow, at a pace she controlled. I had absolutely no expectations of her. Being close to Ana was enough.

  The air around us was warm, enough so that we didn’t need a fire or more than a thin blanket. I lay near her but not next to her with my arms beneath my head, but neither of us could settle into sleep. After too many minutes of strained tension between us, I took tiger form. Chuffing softly, the night air ruffling my fur, I ambled over to her.

  After pressing my nose to her arm, I slumped down behind her back on my side and stretched out my legs in the opposite direction. A moment later, I felt her shift and she wrapped her arms around my body, stroking my side. Her scent surrounded me and after she whispered good night, I fell into a deep relaxing sleep, not even realizing that I’d begun purring.

  The next morning, she was up before me and poked my tiger back with her boot. Languidly, I rose and stretched each one of my legs and yawned toothily. She looked fresh and clean, as if she’d just bathed and made new clothes. I headed over to her and rubbed my side against her long legs. She trailed a hand along my back, and I turned and headed back the other way, relishing the feel of her legs until she yanked on my tail. Ana laughed and I liked the sound enough to ignore the insult.

  I switched to a man, wrapped my arms around her waist, and said, “You look well rested.”

  “I am.” Squinting in the bright sun, she lifted her hand and stroked my cheek. “I think I preferred the scruff,” she said.

  “Did you?” I said, grinning. “I thought you would rather my cheeks be jowly.

  “No, not at all,” she said, her thin eyebrows raised. “I actually like my men to be pockmarked with dry, scaly skin and drooping, saggy chests, with skin as pale as sour milk. It’s very unfortunate for me that you appear to be robustly brawny, with bronze skin covering taut muscles.” She pinched my arm and sighed. “Couldn’t you at least have an overbite or perhaps a receding chin?”

  “I’m afraid not,” I laughed. “I do have a few scars I could show you though.”

  “That would make me feel better.”

  “See? You didn’t even need a lesson in flirting. It came naturally to you.”

  Ana blinked. “That was flirting?”

  “Yes.”

  She smiled. “You mean I can mock you and you enjoy it?”

  “It depends on how you do it, but yes.”

  Seemingly pleased that she’d passed her first lesson in romance, she asked if we could visit Kadam. Both of us were worried that we’d messed up the list by going out of order. “Did you bathe?” I asked as we prepared to leave. “The water is freezing.”

  “Not exactly. It is something new I can do. I’ll have to show you later.”

  I snapped my fingers. “I think I already know. You did something to us in the third temple, the one made of gold. It was like getting dry cleaned.”

  “Dry cleaned.” She said each word slowly. “Yes, I supposed such a definition would work. Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes. Take us back to our home in the future,” I said. “It must be during the time before we met him at the temple where we fought. Just after that, he’s—”

  “He is dead,” Ana says softly. “He told me of it once when I was very young. I thought it was a story of another man, but it was about himself.”

  I put my arm around her and she leaned into me. When we disappeared, she phased us out of time so that we couldn’t be seen. The scents and sounds of the house were familiar. Nilima was cooking something, and Ana and I snuck pastries, glistening pieces of tropical fruit, and I snatched a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard along with two spoons.

  When my old self came in and kissed Nilima on the cheek, Ana took my arm and drew me away, whispering a warning not to come into contact with myself. I was already way ahead of her. We sat in the dining room, where we could see everything but weren’t likely to be bothered, and ate our stolen breakfast. Ana’s eyes widened when she tasted peanut butter for the first time. Kelsey came in and filled a plate, followed by Ren.

  “Is he around this morning?” Ren asked. Everyone knew who he was talking about.

  “He had another late night,” Nilima said. “He’s sleeping in.”

  “It’s not like him to distance himself so much,” a worried Kelsey added.

  My old self shrugged. “Maybe he’s just getting older.”

  How callous I’d been. Kadam had literally made it possible for us to not only survive but to have an inheritance. It smacked of ingratitude. He would be dead and gone in a matter of weeks. He’d been through terrible things. Why hadn’t I ever taken the opportunity to tell him I appreciated him? That I loved him?

  Immediately, I rose to do just that, taking our half-empty jar of peanut butter with us. Ana followed me as we ghosted through the house. When no one was looking, we opened Kadam’s door and quickly closed it behind us. His old clock ticked rhythmically and it made me think of how time was so very important. He wasn’t in his bed, and the stack of notes on his dresser was about the prophecy they were working on. But underneath it, I pulled out a last will and testament.

  “W
hat is it?” Ana asked.

  “A paper that lists his final wishes upon the event of his death.”

  “I see.”

  Such a thing was not unheard of in armies such as Ana’s, but last letters were usually a farewell to loved ones more than distribution of property. There was a disturbance in the air behind us and Kadam materialized as Phet. He was phased out of time as we were and we both found it interesting that he could see us.

  “Kishan, Anamika,” he said. “What brings you here?” He glanced nervously at the door and checked to make sure it was locked. Using the scarf, he changed back to his usual form.

  “Teacher,” Ana said, “in my temper, I have done something wrong.”

  Kadam raised an eyebrow. “I well remember your temper, my dear. Tell me what has happened.”

  Ana launched into an explanation of summoning the Lords of the Flame and of creating Bodha before she created the world of the dragons. Her hands twisted and she hung her head. I knew she felt guilty and, more than anything else, wanted to please the man who’d taught her for so many years. I reached out and took hold of her hand. She stepped closer to me and continued.

  Kadam noticed our clasped hands and glanced up at me briefly. A small smile played on his lips. When she was finished, he stood and cupped her shoulder. “Do not worry over this slight change. I knew it was one of the possibilities. As a result, you met Eventide, instead of Brightbill, but Eventide liked you, and he has smoothed over the rough patches in time. If you now proceed in the proper order with the rest of the list, you should be fine.”

  “Thank you, teacher,” she said demurely.

  There was a knock on the door. “Mr. Kadam? I’ve brought you some breakfast.”

  “Thank you, Miss Kelsey,” he said through the door. “I think I’ll just have some tea. Will you join me in the library for tea in an hour?”

  “Yes, of course,” she answered. I knew that tone. She was disappointed. Kelsey probably sensed something was wrong though she didn’t know what it was.