A Matter of Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “I reckon they’ll have to,” he finally replied. “I’m not a real visionary, but even I know that as the cities expand, there’s gonna be less and less room for ranches and farms in this area.”

  “People are still going to need food,” Austin said. “What then?”

  “They’ll move farther from the cities, I suppose. There’s still good homesteading ground to be had. Folks will move and start over.”

  “And will you?”

  Barnett shook his head. “I doubt I’ll be around when it gets that far along.” He refocused on the cake. “That’s something for my children’s children to figure out. For now, I was kind of hoping you might consider taking on the job of lawman for our town. It’s not something we’ll need for a while. There’s a lot to put in motion before we need to worry about that.”

  Austin was surprised by Barnett’s news. “I hadn’t really thought about quitting what I’m doing.”

  “Well, like I said, there’s no rush. Just keep it in mind and think on it a while. You can always get back to me.” Will finished off his cake and got to his feet. “Guess I’d better see to my guests. It looks like several families are leavin’. Safety in numbers, you know.”

  Austin sat at the table for several minutes more. He’d long since finished his cake and was actually thinking of having a second piece. He was thinking about Jessica Atherton, too. She had been easy to talk to, and he missed the company of women.

  A frown came to his lips. That was a dangerous thought to have. Hadn’t he worked hard to keep himself from entanglements of the heart? After Grace died, he had determined never to love again.

  Grace.

  Just the thought of her troubled Austin’s conscience in a way he prayed to forget. She had been so young, and she had loved him so completely. But just as he’d killed his brother, Austin had killed her, too.

  Chapter 4

  Having accompanied her mother to Cedar Springs on this fine September morning, Jessica found herself caught up in making the rounds. They generally started at the post office. After picking up the mail, they would go to the bank. Next they headed for the feedstore and put in any orders sent by Jessica’s father. Then it was off to the general store for most of their shopping. When everything was complete, Jessica and her mother would usually have a bite to eat and then call on friends in the afternoon before heading home.

  This morning, however, her mother had added an unscheduled visit to the pastor’s wife, Mrs. Baker. Jessica sat with the two older women for as long as she could. She felt like a fidgety child, unable to focus on the conversation or find pleasure in the visit. Mostly the women talked about church affairs and the upcoming October harvest party, neither of which overly interested Jessica. Finally, she asked to be excused, commenting that she needed a bit of exercise. Mother had given her an odd look but nevertheless dismissed her. Now Jessica was free to wander.

  Perhaps I’ll see what’s new at the jewelry store. Jessica headed in that direction, careful not to snag the hem of her gown on the boardwalk. She had almost reached the shop when she saw Marty Wythe coming her way.

  Great, now I will have to visit with her. The idea didn’t set well. No doubt she would want to talk about Robert and Alice and their baby.

  “Why, good morning, Jessica. Are you here alone?” Marty asked.

  “No. Mother is visiting Mrs. Baker, and I needed some air.” She gave Marty a smile. “How about you?”

  “I’m here with my sister. Hannah decided we needed more fabric. We’ve been sewing like crazy for the children. With the three boys we adopted and Johanna and the baby, I find my time quite valuable. Johanna is two now and seems to be everywhere at once. She grows almost faster than I can make clothes. Little John Jacob is in need of more diapers, and the older boys need clothes let out or down almost every other week.”

  Jessica nodded. “Did you bring the children with you?”

  “Goodness, no. Alice is keeping the youngest two. She can nurse John Jacob, along with little Wills. I’m sure Rosita is also helping, as Johanna will be quite the handful. The boys are with Jake. He’s teaching them about running the ranch. They love life in Texas.”

  “I suppose they feel safe and loved now,” Jessica said, trying to speak as her mother might. “And what do you think of your brother-in-law’s plans for a new town?”

  Marty tucked an errant strand of hair back into her bonnet. “I think growth is inevitable, and since it can’t be stopped, it should be managed. I think the idea is a good one. I know I much prefer sending my children only six or seven miles away to school rather than twenty-five and have them board with other folks. I was teaching the boys at home because of the distance. If we get things up and running, a school will be established, and I can take them in the carriage, or Jacob says they could ride together on one of the horses.” She shrugged. “I think they’re too young for that, but he swears they aren’t. What about you? Are you excited about the new town?”

  “I really haven’t given it all that much consideration,” Jessica replied honestly. “I don’t intend to stay around, so it doesn’t matter to me.”

  “Oh? And where are you planning on going?”

  Jessica met Marty’s quizzical gaze. “I’m not sure. I guess . . . anywhere but here.”

  Marty smiled. “I used to feel that way myself, and you can see where it took me.”

  “Yes. You met a wonderful man and lived an opulent life in Denver. That sounds perfect to me. Well, maybe minus the wonderful man.”

  “You mean you don’t intend to marry?” Marty asked.

  Jessica looked away momentarily. She didn’t really want to share her heart with Marty. Word might get back to Robert and Alice, and she didn’t want pity from either one. On the other hand, refusing to answer would look just as odd.

  “I don’t. Not now, anyway. When I realized that I didn’t love Robert, yet had long planned a future with him, it caused me to think. I was comfortable with the plans everyone had for us, but I was foolish. Not only that, I was wronging us both by hanging on to those plans. Now I think that leaving this place and venturing out sounds more beneficial.”

  “Well, just be careful. As I said, I used to have that same attitude.” Marty shook her head. “I set out to answer a mail-order bride request. You never know what desperation will make you do. Looking back, I see how tragic it might have been.”

  “I don’t intend to let desperation make my decisions for me,” Jessica replied, knowing her answer sounded rather clipped.

  Marty looked away from her and frowned. Jessica worried that she’d offended the woman and started to offer an apology, but just then Marty’s brows knit together, and her expression suggested she was perplexed.

  “That man looked so familiar,” Marty said, finally looking back at Jessica.

  “What man?” Jessica turned to look behind her but saw no one.

  “A tall, bearded man just turned down the alleyway. He looked familiar but disappeared too quickly.” She shook her head. “I can’t place him.”

  “If you’d like, we could go after him,” Jessica suggested.

  “No.” Marty continued to ponder the matter for a moment. After several seconds of silence, she shrugged. “I’m probably mistaken. Given all the new people coming into this area, there are bound to be folks who remind me of others I know.” But even as Marty stated this, Jessica could hear the wariness in her voice.

  Just then Hannah Barnett came from a shop down the street. Spying the two women, she waved and made her way to join them. “Jessica, how nice to see you again. Is your mother with you?”

  “Yes, ma’am. She should be finished visiting Mrs. Baker most any time.”

  “I don’t know about you two, but I’m ready for something to eat. Do you suppose your mother would find that appealing?”

  Jessica cast a quick glance toward the parsonage and was happy to see her mother leaving the Bakers’ house. “I think she probably would, but you can ask her yourself. She’s coming j
ust now.”

  “Hannah. Marty,” Mother declared as she joined them. The women embraced briefly. “Isn’t it a pretty day?”

  “Yes, and the temperatures are so much more tolerable than they were just a month ago. Although it’s still plenty warm,” Hannah replied. “I was just telling Jessica and Marty that I am ready for something to eat. How about you?”

  “I’m famished,” Jessica’s mother admitted. “I planned to suggest the same thing to Jess.”

  “Good. Why don’t we adjourn to the new café on Broadway Street and enjoy a meal together?”

  “That sounds wonderful,” Mother said, looking to Jessica. “Don’t you agree?”

  “Delightful,” Jessica lied, knowing that no one really cared how she felt.

  She followed the women to the café and took her appointed seat at the table. Blue-and-white checkered tablecloths adorned each table and a white linen napkin was set at each place. A small bouquet of flowers in an amber-colored fruit jar added a homey atmosphere.

  “Ladies,” the proprietor, Sylvia Baldwin, announced in greeting, “you are my very first customers of the day.” She beamed them a smile. “Let me tell you what’s available.”

  Jessica settled back as the woman recited the menu. “Today I have a wonderful vegetable and beef casserole, served with bread and butter. For dessert, the most delicious apple nut cake just came out of the oven, and it is drizzled with fresh cream. If the casserole doesn’t appeal, I can fry you up a steak—ham or beef.”

  “I think the casserole sounds wonderful,” Mrs. Barnett declared.

  “It does,” Mother agreed and looked to Jessica. “Don’t you think?”

  Jessica nodded and Marty did likewise. “It’s agreed, then,” Mrs. Barnett said. “Please bring four orders and some tea.” The woman nodded and hurried from the room as Hannah Barnett unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap.

  It wasn’t long before Sylvia returned with a full tea service on a cart. She poured tea for each woman, offered them lemon, sugar, or cream, then exited with the cart as quickly as she’d come. Jessica sipped the hot liquid, not really in the mood for tea. She would have much rather had something cold, but unless the café made its own ice or had refrigeration, it wasn’t a possibility.

  As if reading her mind, Marty sighed. “I wish this tea were iced.”

  “That would be nice,” Mother agreed. She started to take a taste of her own tea when she seemed to remember something. “Tyler told me the other day that several homes in California now have air-cooled rooms.”

  “Air-cooled?” Mrs. Barnett asked.

  “Yes, but I haven’t any idea how it works. It’s something based on the way commercial refrigerators work, I believe Tyler said. That and fans. Apparently they can cool an entire floor if the house isn’t too big.”

  “That would certainly be welcome in the summertime,” Marty said, pulling a fan from her reticule. She opened the lacy blue slats and began to wave it back and forth. “I know the weather is much cooler than last month, but I look forward to it cooling even more.”

  “You got used to snow in Colorado,” her sister chided. “You know better than to expect such cold down here, although we have had our times, to be sure, and will again. In fact, William said it might be a cold winter.”

  “I would love a cold winter,” Marty said with a sigh.

  Jessica had very little to say during their luncheon. The food arrived and she immediately dug in, lest she be expected to talk. She had nothing to say that anyone would want to hear, and she feared these women might have questions for her that she didn’t want to answer.

  She had grown up knowing and loving these women as family—at least as much as she loved anyone—but she knew their penchant for wheedling information from unwilling victims. She frowned at this uncharitable thought.

  How much of my life have I spent thinking unkind thoughts of others? I don’t know their hearts and have never endeavored to do so.

  That feeling of dread came once again and washed over Jessica like a wave. In her previous conversation with Marty she’d spoken of her desire to leave Texas. Such a plan would break her mother’s heart—her father’s, too.

  It wasn’t long before other folks arrived at the café. Jessica nodded at some of her friends as they took seats across the room. Mother spoke to several people, as did Mrs. Barnett and Marty, but Jessica felt void of words. She had no desire to make pleasantries when her heart was in such a state of confusion. Would the answer ever come?

  Austin arrived at the Barnett Ranch a little after noon. On his way to Dallas he figured to stop by and see if the ladies needed anything from the big city. To his surprise, however, the womenfolk were gone or, in Alice Barnett’s case, busy caring for two infants and a two-year-old.

  Robert greeted him at the door. He seemed genuinely happy to usher Austin inside and immediately invited him to share their meal.

  “I have beans and bacon, corn bread, and some of my mom’s delicious cinnamon rolls.”

  “How could I refuse?” Austin said with a grin. “I have to admit I was hoping to make it in time for lunch.”

  Robert laughed. “As we’ve said on more than one occasion—you are always welcome to break bread with us.” He led the way to the dining room. “Let me grab you some dishes and silver. Would you like a cup of coffee, too?”

  Austin sank onto one of the chairs. “Sure. I make it a habit to never turn down a good cup of coffee.”

  It was only a matter of minutes before both men settled in to eat. Robert offered grace first. The prayer was simple, but it painfully reminded Austin of his upbringing. The family had always prayed over each meal. Mother prayed with them at bedtime, and Father had devotions and prayer in the morning. Austin had taken some of those practices into his adult life, but after losing Grace, he’d fallen away. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in God or know what it said about Him in the Bible. It was more a sense that while God did exist, He really didn’t care.

  “So why are you headed to Dallas?” Robert asked.

  “I have a meeting tomorrow related to cattle inspections.”

  “Are there problems?”

  Austin savored a large spoonful of beans before answering. “Rustling is on the increase. There’ve been some cases where thieves have cut big sections of fence and run out quite a few head.”

  Robert’s expression changed to one of concern. “Around here?”

  “I’m not sure. That’s part of what the meeting is for. I think they also have plans to give out the latest brand books. It’s important for us to memorize the brands and be able to identify each ranch’s animals.”

  “That can’t be an easy task. There are hundreds of ranches just in the Dallas area.”

  Austin nodded and continued to eat. He knew the task would be laborious, but that was what he’d signed on for. Besides, he’d been working at this for quite a while now and had most of the established ranch brands memorized.

  “It’s hard to believe we’re this close to the twentieth century and folks are still stealin’ cattle. You’d like to figure folks would just find an honest way to make a livin’.”

  “That’d be nice. But so long as there’s something of value that someone wants, you’re gonna have thieves and rustlers.”

  Robert pulled apart a piece of corn bread and buttered it. “I’ll talk to Pa. It probably wouldn’t hurt to ride the fence line and see for ourselves if there are any breaks. We are due to make that ride anyway.” He smiled. “I’m glad you stopped by, though. We haven’t seen you for a while.”

  “Hasn’t been that long.” Austin crumpled his corn bread and stirred it into the beans. “I thought I’d stop here on the way to Dallas and see if you folks need anything.”

  “Can’t say that we do. My ma and Marty are over in Cedar Springs today, so I imagine they’ll be able to get most anything we need. Alice is here. I could ask her. She’s takin’ care of Marty’s two youngest, along with our son.”

  “She
’s a good woman,” Austin replied, uncertain what else to say.

  Robert smiled. “She is that. And to think I almost settled for second best.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it’s just that for the longest time folks expected me to marry Jessica Atherton.”

  “Really?” Austin questioned. “Why?”

  Robert finished his corn bread before answering. “Our mothers kind of figured for us to marry. Mostly ’cause Jess followed me around like a puppy. Her brothers were too busy to give her much attention, and I made the mistake of feelin’ sorry for her.” He chuckled and pushed back his empty bowl. “I used to do rope tricks for her and make her little trinkets. I have to say I loved her like a little sister. I still do. But where marrying was concerned, she wasn’t for me.”

  Austin wanted to know more but knew it wasn’t smart to look too eager. He didn’t want to give Robert Barnett the wrong idea. “So you married Alice instead.”

  “From the first moment I met her, I knew Alice was the one for me. Jessica couldn’t understand it, even though I knew she didn’t love me—not the way she needed to in order to marry. Jessica took it as somewhat of a personal blow, especially given that Alice has that scar on her face. I hardly even see the thing, but Jess seemed to think my choice was some sort of put-down on her. Like she was so bad that I’d choose anyone, even a scarred woman, rather than choose her. Nothin’ could’ve been further from the truth.”

  “What do you mean?” Austin tried to sound only casually interested, but he couldn’t hide his desire to know. He hadn’t been able to put Jessica Atherton out of his mind since first meeting her at the Barnetts’.

  “Well, Jessica is a beautiful woman—there’s no denying that. She’ll never suffer for beaus. But it wasn’t mere physical beauty that drew me to Alice. She’s like the other half of my soul. We see things pretty much eye to eye. I’ve never felt that kind of kindred spirit with anyone else, and now I know I never will.”