The Love Solution

by Ashley Croft

  The journey flew by, her wheels had wings – or were on fire or something. She reached the lab and racked her bike. She was going to destroy the genuine Love Bug she’d created for Sarah and Niall, now while it was quiet and before Ewan got back from his symposium later that afternoon.

  Thank goodness he’d never found out. No matter how good a man he was, how sensitive and how much he cared for her, he would never have understood or forgiven her for breaking every rule in the book.

  It was as quiet as it ever got in the lab and she saw no one as she locked her bike up, swiped her card and went into her office. She unlocked the door to the lab, her fingers trembling a little as she fumbled with her bunch of keys. For a moment, she wondered what would happen if the petri dish with the real Bug was missing, if someone had broken in and stolen it like in a thriller or Silent Witness or something. The moment she saw the petri dish still at the back of the fridge, she laughed out loud at herself and in relief.

  This wasn’t a thriller, but it had almost been, if she’d been bonkers enough to actually provide Sarah with the Love Bug. She retrieved the petri dish and put it on the table.

  One last look to remind her never to contemplate anything so stupid again and then she’d destroy it forever.

  The dish stood on the table. Molly shivered in relief. Phew. How close was that? She picked it up again. And stopped. Squinted at the label. It was clearly labelled with her code for placebo.

  She had to read the label again and spell out the letters in her head.

  Her stomach swam and her legs were like cotton wool. She steadied herself with a hand on the table. No, this couldn’t be possible. She must be tired and confused. Her mind was playing tricks on her after all the stress of the past few weeks or she was still exhausted from the bike ride and the sex, possibly dehydrated too. Because if the letters in front of her eyes were true and the label really did show the code for the placebo – the fake Love Bug, that meant …

  It meant that— She could hardly even let the thought into her whirling mind. It meant that Sarah must have the other one.

  Her stomach clenched violently and she swayed a little. It was impossible. She’d been so careful. Her stomach squeezed harder and her hands shook as she picked up the plate. Her head throbbed. No. No. No …

  Niall had actually taken the real Love Bug.

  How the hell had it happened? A fresh and horrible thought darted into her head. What if … what if … she’d labelled them wrongly? She’d been so careful. It should have been impossible to mix them up and yet judging by Niall’s reaction, it was possible that she had but she couldn’t be sure. Not one hundred per cent sure.

  And what if Niall had taken the real Bug? If his change of heart was a complete sham? Sarah would be devastated. She would never forgive Molly. Niall, for all that he was a worthless shit in Molly’s opinion, didn’t deserve this. And if anyone found out … if Ewan found out – Molly’s life would be ruined.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Sarah peered around the sitting room doorframe as Vanessa screamed abuse over Niall’s shoulder. She was still in her uniform and must have come over the moment she could get off her shift. He’d tried to break it off with her in person, he’d claimed, but she’d been out so he’d left a message on her phone and then gone to work. Fortunately for him, Vanessa had been on a different shift. Unfortunately for Sarah, she’d come straight round to the cottage the moment she’d listened to the message. Her screeches would have woken the dead, and would definitely have the neighbours out before too long.

  ‘You bitch!’ she screeched. ‘It’s not Niall’s baby, is it? It’s that old bloke you’re shacked up with. I fucking knew you were shagging him. I told Niall!’

  Niall blocked the hallway, blocking Vanessa from flying at Sarah. ‘I know you’re pissed off with me, Nessa babe, but you’ll just have to accept it. I’ve come to my senses and I’m back with Sarah.’

  ‘Come to your senses? You never had any, you tosser! And how can it be your kid? He said you wouldn’t shag him for months!’ She poked a bony finger in Sarah’s direction. ‘You’d do anything to get him back, you cow.’

  ‘I never said that. You’re upset. I think you should go home and do some mindfulness.’ He glanced at Sarah. ‘This isn’t good for the baby or you, Sarah. Go and sit down while I deal with it.’

  ‘I’ll complain about you to HR, you bastard. I’ll say it was sexual harassment!’ Vanessa screeched before Sarah could reply that she could fight her own battles. Sarah thought Vanessa would have trouble explaining away the tiara incident, but said nothing.

  ‘Now, there’s no need for that. Go home, Nessa. I’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down.’ Niall tried to back Vanessa towards the door.

  ‘No, I fuckin’ won’t.’

  Niall ducked to avoid Vanessa’s swinging fist. ‘Calm down.’

  ‘I will not, you cheating scumbag! You’ll come crawling back to me but don’t think I’ll have you! And I’ll sue you both.’ She battered his chest with her fists.

  ‘Ow! Stop it. There’s no need for violence.’

  ‘You think?’

  Niall groaned as a blow landed in his stomach. For the sake of the baby, Sarah closed the door to the sitting room. The more soothing Niall became, the louder and shriller Vanessa grew. Once upon a time, she’d fantasised about a moment like this, even replayed just such a scene in her head. Now it was real, it wasn’t funny at all.

  Hearing Niall trying to calm down Vanessa and Vanessa’s vindictive screeches was horrible. And had Niall really told Vanessa that Sarah had refused to have sex with him? Suddenly there was quiet. Sarah opened the door again and stepped into the hallway. A car door slammed, an engine roared and there was a screech of tyres. Sarah flew to the door just in time to see Vanessa roar off down the lane in her yellow Mini, a cloud of blue smoke billowing into the air.

  Niall was patting Mrs Sugden on the arm, presumably trying to reassure her that no one had been murdered.

  This is all my fault, thought Sarah. While she didn’t have a choice in Niall’s decision to have an affair, she did have a choice in how she reacted to the situation – just as she did now.

  ‘That was even worse than I expected …’ Niall walked back into the room rubbing his jaw. His cheek was a livid red where Vanessa had landed a stinging slap. He sat down heavily on the sofa and put his head in his hands.

  Sarah stood by the sofa, at a loss of what to do next.

  He took a deep breath and reached for her hand. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that but it’ll get easier from now on.’

  ‘It’s going to be awkward at work …’

  ‘That’s an understatement. Thank God I’ve been covering for sick leave or I’d have been on the same shift as Nessa today. I’ll have to speak to my supervisor and get her to move me to another shift pattern so we can avoid each other. Come to think of it, I’m owed some leave so I should probably take it. You and I need some time to rediscover our relationship.’ He squeezed Sarah’s hand. ‘Will you and the Bump be OK while I go to work? I’ll have to set off soon if I want to catch my boss to talk this over.’

  ‘I’m not a china cup. I won’t break.’ Sarah gritted her teeth and managed a smile.

  ‘I don’t want to take any more risks. Little Ni needs a calm environment.’

  ‘Little Ni? It might be a girl …’

  ‘Little Sarah, then.’ Niall knelt by her chair and laid his hand on her stomach. ‘Feck, was that a kick?’

  ‘Yes. Probably.’

  ‘It’s amazing.’ He eyed her sternly. ‘I hope you’re keeping a movement diary.’

  ‘I don’t think there’s any need for that.’

  ‘I do. You can’t be too careful.’

  Sarah restrained herself from telling him – again – that she’d managed on her own over the past few months and didn’t need his advice now. It was understandable he was concerned and wanted to help but she could cope. ‘I promise I’ll be straight onto the GP or mid
wife if I’m the least bit concerned but I’m sure everything will be fine,’ she said. She gave him a peck on the cheek. ‘Now, stop worrying and sort things out with your boss.’

  ‘Yeah. Do you want a drink before I go out? You’ve had a stressful time today.’

  ‘No. You go.’

  After dithering a little while longer, he finally went upstairs to shower before dashing out to take Sarah’s car to get to his shift.

  The moment he’d gone, Sarah picked up her phone to call Molly but found two missed calls and a text that must have come through while World War Three had been breaking out with Vanessa. They were all from Molly and just said, “Call me asap”. Sarah pressed Molly’s number, hoping that her sister hadn’t already split up with Ewan after less than two days together. She regretted her jibe about Molly lurching from one crush to another: Molly had seemed genuinely crazy about Ewan and now he’d finally decided to pull the poker out of his arse and return her feelings, she didn’t want it all going pear-shaped for her.

  No, it was probably Molly calling to say he’d proposed or wasn’t he gorgeous or wonderful or something.

  She heard Molly pick up. ‘Molly. I’m so glad I’ve got you! You won’t believe this but Vanessa turned up on the doorstep and nearly killed Niall.’

  ‘Sarah …’

  ‘You know it should have been funny and even though I can’t stand Vanessa and it serves her right, I almost felt sorry for her …’

  ‘Sarah!’ Molly cut her off.

  ‘What? What’s the matter?’

  ‘There’s something I have to tell you.’

  Molly’s voice was full of doom. ‘What? The Hot Prof’s not messing you around, again is he?’

  ‘No. It’s not Ewan or me. It’s about you and … and Niall.’

  Sarah heard the break in Molly’s voice. Goose bumps pricked on her arms.

  ‘What do you mean, me and Niall?’

  ‘Sarah … Oh God … I don’t know how to tell you this. I’m so sorry, and I really don’t know how it happened but you have to meet me …’

  ‘What? Now? Where?’

  ‘Not at the cottage. Somewhere … neutral.’

  ‘Neutral? What do you mean?’

  ‘I can’t say over the phone. It’s um … delicate.’

  ‘Delicate? Molly, what the hell’s going on and why do we have to meet somewhere else? Something awful’s happened, hasn’t it?’

  There was a strangled sound that might have been a sob or Molly choking, then a rush of words. ‘Meet me on the Backs on the Orgasm Bridge. You know what I mean. I’ll be there in an hour, and I’ll wait for you.’

  ‘An hour? I’m not sure I can get away.’

  ‘It’s absolutely vital. We’ve no choice.’

  Sarah put the phone down. The baby squirmed inside her as if it had picked up on her agitation. Niall was going to want to know why she had to dash off at short notice but tough.

  Swans glided serenely on the Cam as Sarah walked over the bridge that led from King’s Parade onto the Backs. The guides were loading tourists into punts and the gaggles of tourists took selfies on the bridges. It was a fine day and though cold, the river was like the M6, packed with people laughing and shrieking as they floated along.

  The state she was in couldn’t be good for the baby. If Molly had been exaggerating about whatever-it-was, Sarah would go mad at her. Then again, she prayed that it was something trivial.

  She’d know soon enough. Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when she caught sight of Molly cycling over the bridge towards her. Molly spotted her too and screeched to a halt a foot from Sarah. Her face was red and she was breathing heavily.

  Molly was deathly pale under her cycling tan and there were dark smudges under her eyes. ‘You’d better sit down,’ she said, directing Sarah to a nearby bench. ‘I’m-m s-sorry. I thought I’d been so so careful.’ Molly sucked in a breath. ‘But I think we’ve given Niall the real Love Bug.’

  Sarah had been in the act of sitting down as Molly dropped the bombshell. The news caused her to collapse with an oof onto the seat. Around her, the meadows of the colleges were carpeted with spring flowers and the ancient gold stone walls glowed in the spring sunshine. Cambridge must be the most beautiful city in the world but she felt that it was mocking her with its tranquillity.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Molly asked, sitting beside her.

  Sarah dragged her eyes from the idyllic scene around them and back to Molly’s wild expression. ‘OK? Of course I’m not. Please tell me that you’re joking or I’m hallucinating? Did you really just tell me that that I gave Niall a real Love Bug?’ said Sarah.

  ‘I’m so sorry. I’m afraid it was active after all. I think it must have been …’

  ‘You think the one you gave me was the active one?’

  Molly covered her mouth with her hand then mumbled, ‘The thing is that the placebo is still in the lab and I’ve analysed it twice so I can only conclude …’

  Sarah put her head in her hands. ‘Oh God.’

  There was a pause. ‘At least you have Niall back …’ Molly squeaked.

  Sarah exploded. ‘I don’t want him back like this! I’d changed my mind – you know that. Mol, you have to do something! Provide an antidote. Tell me it will wear off. Anything.’

  ‘Don’t you think I’m trying? I’ve been working on an inhibitor ever since I found out. I’ve been in the lab half the night. Maybe it’ll wear off.’

  A man feeding ducks with his kids frowned at them.

  Sarah managed to find the presence of mind to take a few deep breaths and lower her voice.

  ‘You don’t believe it will wear off, do you?’ she asked Molly.

  ‘I don’t know, that’s the problem. In one trial, hormone levels were still elevated up to three years later … The most likely outcome after this rapid peak is an – um – a slow decline.’

  ‘Are you saying,’ Sarah said very slowly, ‘that the effects on Niall might last three years?’

  ‘Three years for them to decline. There are no actual figures on how long it might take the whole lot to be erased from a human system. We just don’t know yet.’

  ‘What am I going to do?’

  ‘What are we going to do? This is my fault too. My mess and I have to sort it out.’ Molly hugged Sarah and when she pulled away, her cheeks were wet with tears. ‘I can’t tell you how sorry I am.’

  Sarah put her arm around her, even though she felt like running away and hiding herself. ‘This isn’t your fault. I wasn’t in my right mind when I asked you to do it and I made you think you owed me something because of what happened after Mum and Dad died. You don’t. You never have. It’s my responsibility but if you can do something, anything, to put it right, please do it and soon.’

  Molly’s cheek was wet when Sarah let her go. ‘I wanted to help you. I thought I was … Look, for now, can you try to humour Niall? Ewan’s gone away to a conference in Switzerland until Friday so it’ll give me time to try and find a way out of this without him being around the lab.’

  ‘Is there a way out of this?’ Sarah hardly dared ask the question.

  Molly lifted her chin determinedly. ‘There has to be and I swear on my life, I’ll find a solution somehow.’

  *

  Over the next few days, Sarah tried desperately to distract herself by keeping busy with her commissions and workshops. The Bump was showing quite obviously now and she’d had to confess to her regulars. A few customers had noticed that Niall was back around the place and obviously thought things were hunky-dory again. Sarah knew that some of them also thought she was mad for taking him back.

  Every moment with him was agony and she kept experiencing a terrible urge to confess, to blurt out what she’d done. Even if she had told him, what would it have achieved? He was so full of remorse and so determined to make things up to her that she doubted he’d believe her anyway. He might think that she and Molly had concocted the whole story just to get rid of him.

  It was a w
elcome respite to have the excuse to get out of the house to pick up a missed delivery of beads from the sorting office. On the way home she’d driven past the craft units. There was no longer a sign up that advertised them as available to rent but she wasn’t stupid enough to torment herself by driving into the complex and checking if the unit had a new occupier.

  She tried to console herself that Liam’s offer had come too soon for her. She hadn’t been ready to move on then.

  And now?

  Now she had Niall back, but not in any real or meaningful way. It didn’t matter that she’d stepped back from the brink and decided not to use the Love Bug. The end result had been the same. If only she’d never put the idea of the Love Bug into Molly’s head, the mix-up would never have happened.

  If only …

  She pulled up outside the cottage. She wasn’t sure if Niall was home from work or not. He’d had to share a lift to work with a mate until he could buy a new motorbike. She unloaded the parcel from the boot of her car and carried it into the workshop, hoping Niall wouldn’t want to help.

  Then she let herself in through the back door. She heard a gentle thud and a soft curse behind the closed door of the sitting room.

  ‘Sarah? I’m in here.’

  Sarah walked into the sitting room.

  Dressed in a tux, Niall was kneeling on the carpet – actually, on one knee on the hearthrug.

  ‘Ni—’

  She didn’t even get the second syllable of his name out before he cut her off.

  ‘Sarahwillyoumarryme?’

  It came out in a massive gush, like from a dodgy tap. Sarah even leapt back as if she’d been sprayed with water.

  ‘What?’

  Niall took her hand. ‘I said will you marry me, darlin’?’

  Her stomach lurched and the baby kicked. ‘Oh no, you can’t …’

  Niall’s smile faded. ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Nothing. Nothing … I’m just surprised.’

  ‘Surprised in a good way, I hope?’

  Sarah’s throat was dry. ‘It’s so sudden, all the changes. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster.’