How Sexual Desire Works- The Enigmatic Urge

by Frederick Toates

  At an altruistic level, there would be empathy from signs of negative emotion in the other individual, such as fear or disgust on the face of a child or a woman’s embarrassment, resistance or pain or, at the least, lack of interest.

  Psychopaths often appear to have a relatively under-reactive inhibition system relative to their activation system, based in part on weaknesses in the control of behaviour by the prediction of aversive consequences of actions (Blair, 2006; Hare, 1993). This deviation from normal could be based in part upon genetic differences from controls, pointing to the need for a biopsychosocial perspective (Kastner and Sellbom, 2012; Muñoz et al., 2011). This is either a permanent feature of their behaviour, or a temporary lifting of inhibition occurs. Such lifting can be triggered by alcohol or anger, often facilitated by maladaptive cognitions (‘neutralizing definitions’) (Segal and Stermac, 1990).

  Many rapists have earlier convictions for property offences (Smallbone and Dadds, 1998). In one sample, 82 per cent had a history of criminal convictions but only 23 per cent had a history of previous sexual offences (Scully and Marolla, 1984). Such evidence points to a weakness in an all-purpose restraint system (MacDonald, 2008).

  Psychopathic and narcissistic sexual aberration appears to exemplify behaviour that Gorenstein and Newman (1980) describe as ‘disinhibited’. Behaviour is often said to be ‘impulsive’, acting to gain immediate rewards, although this can incur very serious long-term costs. Such people can articulate verbally that their behaviour is maladaptive in the long term, but this insight is not translated into the necessary restraint. Laboratory studies, for example with monetary rewards, find that disinhibited individuals tend to act so as to get immediate reward in a situation where delay can bring an enhanced reward. That is to say, they get captured by the potency of immediate reward. Disinhibited individuals also tend to be thrill-seekers, finding ordinary experience insufficient.

  Some who commit sexual violence do so impulsively and opportunistically in an unplanned and uninhibited way, taking advantage of the situation as it presents itself (Raine, 2013). However, others devote considerable creativity to planning their actions, fine-tuning the strategy moment by moment according to prevailing circumstances, aborting sorties that suddenly appear to have acquired a high risk and performing a cost–benefit analysis. They are not necessarily overwhelmed by sudden temptation; that is, they can exert inhibition. However, the logic would still be that the prospect of reward in the relatively near future motivates such planning, while the prospect of still longer-term punishment exerts inadequate levels of inhibition. Doubtless some exhibit a combination of both these underlying deviations.

  The psychopathic brain

  Neuroimaging suggests that psychopaths have a relative under-activity in brain regions (cortical) that are characterized as underlying ‘high-level’ control, involving restraint on lower brain levels (Yang et al., 2008).3 Conversely, there is heightened sensitivity of the dopaminergic system projecting to the nucleus accumbens, possibly arising from underactive inhibition on the dopaminergic neurons (Buckholtz et al., 2010).

  Psychopaths are deficient at processing visual facial and auditory cues to fear and sadness. According to Blair (2006), disruption of the function of the amygdala underlies diminished sensitivity to distress cues exhibited by other individuals. The biological basis of empathy is formed from a number of brain regions, both evolutionarily old and new (Decety and Ickes, 2011). In the latter case, these include the orbitofrontal cortex. In psychopaths, the little empathy that they possess could well be decreased still further as sexual arousal and anger arousal move the weight of control to lower brain regions.

  Psychopaths know right from wrong but they simply don’t care, since wrong is not emotionally and morally weighted appropriately in the control of behaviour (Haidt, 2001). When tested on laboratory tasks, patients with damage to regions of the prefrontal cortex but no criminal history or tendencies also show evidence of deficits in the inhibition of behaviour (Luria, 1973). As with psychopaths, they show a sensitivity to physically present stimuli and relative disregard of long-term consequences of their behaviour, and can also verbally articulate what is required of them in terms of inhibiting responses but find it difficult to exert inhibition. Of course, brain damage does not usually transform such people into serial killers or violent rapists. Presumably, what stops most of us from engaging in such activities is not that we are actively inhibited from doing so but rather that we have no desire to do so. Hence, there is nothing to inhibit and we can speculate that this is equally true of most brain-damaged patients.

  The subtlety of empathy

  There are identifiable brain regions involved in forming empathy with others (Decety and Ickes, 2011; Fonagy, 2003), and they would normally exert a restraining influence on aggression and deception.4 Hence, their disruption might be expected to lead to problems with inhibition of behaviour and a tendency to make decisions that fail to take normal account of long-term punishing consequences of actions or the consequences to others.

  Some of the deviations described here necessarily have a victim and one whose suffering would inhibit most people. Empathy for the suffering of another individual is accompanied by activation of a similar set of brain regions as those that are triggered by a noxious stimulus to oneself such as a thorn (Eisenberger, 2012). In this sense, psychological pain is real and has a measurable basis in the brain. Similarly, the perception of disgust in the face of another is normally associated with some activation of disgust in the brain of the perceiver (Kelly, 2011). One could speculate that sexual psychopaths are either insensitive to such signals or, if they detect the signals, are unmoved (or even excited) by them and there is evidence that sexually aggressive males show low levels of disgust in response to simulated sexual aggression (Calhoun and Wilson, 2000).

  However, empathy is not some all-or-nothing feature. Rather, it appears to be based in part upon cognitions involving the potential recipient of the empathetic feeling (Decety and Ickes, 2011). For example, even normal individuals qualify their empathy as a result of the perceived deservedness of the recipient. A person with AIDS receives more empathy if she or he caught the virus through transfused blood rather than by drug injection. Empathy increases as the perceived closeness to the sufferer in terms of family or ethnic group increases. There is greater activation of the brain regions underlying empathy when the empathizer is contemplating what is considered to be a psychologically closer or subjectively more deserving individual.

  In some cases, individuals showing violent sexual desire entertain highly negative cognitions concerning their intended victims, such as that all women set out to hurt them by their rejections. Similarly, if a man has the goal that the streets should be swept clean of sex workers, or thinks that the wives and daughters of enemy soldiers are equally ‘the enemy’ and thereby fair game, then he is unlikely to exhibit much empathy.

  How does psychopathy arise?

  So, what makes a psychopath? This is often expressed as a simple dichotomy: born or made? Perhaps the most likely explanation is a subtle interplay between early biological endowment and experience (Hare, 1993). The psychopathic brain might emerge early with a deficient capacity to form empathetic associations, which means that the experience of empathy is not developed (‘downloaded’) from early social interactions. Poor parenting, appears often to be a contributory factor in the emergence of psychopathology.

  A fundamental assumption of ‘social learning theory’ is that the roots of deviant behaviour lie in deviant social interactions, for example between parents and child and/or between peers (Akers, 1985; Chan et al., 2010). The child’s learning processes could be intact but the content (what is learned) might set development in an abnormal direction. Evidence suggests that sexual aberration can relate to the early learning of deviations in general ways of acting in the world and to underlying brain processes, as well as more specifically to sexual behaviour.

  Some of the most serious kinds of sexua
l deviation involve the use of violence and evidence points to the early learning of aggressive strategies for dealing with social problems. Aggressive behaviour can be reinforced by its consequences, for instance the child getting his own way by bullying, or can be learned by observation of the successful exploitation of aggression in role models (Akers, 1985). The parents of aggressive children tend to exhibit aggression. Those who ‘blow their top’ and impulsively show violence have often had a history of being reinforced for violence, albeit of a more restrained form. Aggressive young men tend to gravitate towards peers with similar attitudes and thereby derive some reinforcement for their attitudes (Calhoun and Wilson, 2000). In some cases, such activities form part of the trajectory to later more serious offences such as rape and sexual homicide (Britton, 1998; Rule, 1983). Such behaviour could arise from a lack of appropriate restraints on antisocial behaviour combined with failures of expected or actual sexual reciprocity.

  Most psychopaths exhibit serious deviant behaviour, such as lying, vandalism and stealing, from an early age (Hare, 1993). Precocious sexual behaviour is another common behaviour. Although many children show at least some of these characteristics, future psychopaths tend to exhibit more of them and at greater intensity.

  A common assumption is that psychopaths invariably come from violent, disturbed and abusive family backgrounds and some indeed do. However, in Hare’s experience, for every one fitting this image there is another from a loving family, with siblings who show no signs of being psychopaths. For some reason, psychopaths have failed to assimilate the emotional processing that helps to keep the rest of us in line. For example, there are deficiencies in the assessment of the chances of being caught or, if the assessment is correct, it exerts relatively little weight in restraining behaviour. The prospect of future punishment often does little to deter. They lack that ‘nagging conscience’ or ‘inner policeman’ that watches over us. There is an ‘inner voice’ that speaks up against risky and immoral action, even at the planning stage when it is no more than thoughts, and in the case of psychopaths this voice, if it exists at all, lacks emotional impact.

  Evolutionary considerations

  From an evolutionary perspective, the term ‘psychopathy’ might be something of a misnomer. Particularly as it applies to sexual behaviour, it represents, not pathology, but rather a particular strategy that has been favoured since it serves adaptive ends (Hare, 1993; Raine, 2013). That is to say, it represents one end of a spectrum: a way of maximizing investment in the future by producing a maximum number of offspring. By chance, some of these will survive and in turn reproduce. The psychopath wastes little time or energy in either the partner or the offspring’s welfare, a reminder of the cliché ‘survival of the fittest’. The strategy is to mate with a maximum number of partners and to quickly move on to another. The psychopath’s skill at deception, lying and cheating lends itself well to this strategy. At the other end of the spectrum the alternative strategy is to have few children but to invest heavily in them.

  Having listed some of the component processes and how their variation could underlie variation in desire, the next three chapters exemplify the variety of sexual desire and behaviour at ‘the fringes’.

  In summary

  Behaviour that is at the fringes of desire appears to arise by means of some similar processes to those underlying conventional desire and behaviour. It is suggested simply that some weightings and parameters within these processes are different.

  In some cases of aberrant sexual behaviour, particularly where violence is involved, there appear to be deficiencies of attachment.

  Learning and fantasy appear to contribute to sending desire in an abnormal direction.

  A chance pairing of a particular stimulus situation with arousal seems to be implicated.

  Some cases involve re-running an earlier trauma.

  In cases of desire at the fringes, inhibition can be deficient.

  Psychopathic sexual desire appears to arise from a combination of a lack of empathy for others, a tendency to instant gratification, and weak inhibition arising from anticipated negative consequences of behaviour.

  Nineteen Some forms of desire at the fringes

  Attempts to divide anything into two ought to be regarded with much suspicion.

  (C. P. Snow, 1965, p. 9)

  The central argument of the present study is that biology and environment are inextricably mixed in the determination of all forms of desire, whether normal or at the fringe. The following examples are based upon this.

  Voyeurism

  Starting from childhood, the Victorian writer Walter was an insatiable and creative voyeur, an activity which he accompanied by masturbation, but this did not prevent him from developing an active ‘conventional’ sex life in parallel. Having found a hiding place in a basement and looking up to the street above through a hole, Walter would sometimes wait for hours before catching a glimpse of the legs of an unsuspecting woman. On visits to the Continent, Walter spent hours peering through keyholes watching women or couples. Kronhausen and Kronhausen (1967) observe (p. 318):

  This may sound strange for a man as sexually active as Walter was, but is entirely in keeping with what we have come to know about other individuals like him. In fact it is a fallacy to assume that a sexually active person may not also be interested in voyeurism.

  How might it begin?

  Consider a Scottish male, who illustrates how chance circumstances can set off this type of desire (McGuire et al., 1965, p. 189):

  This 28-year-old patient, married at the age of 24, had had normal sexual interests. However, his wife proved to be totally frigid so that the marriage was never consummated. In the early months of his marriage, while sexually frustrated, he observed that a young lady in the opposite flat was in the habit of stripping in a lighted room with the curtains open (the patient’s wife confirmed this story). The patient found this very stimulating sexually. The marriage had not been consummated when the couple moved house. In his new environment the patient sought opportunities of seeing women undressing and developed the habit of masturbating on these occasions. It is interesting to note that the patient retained all the circumstances of the early stimulus and had no interest in nudist films or strip-tease shows. He came to our notice after his fourth conviction for a ‘Peeping Tom’ offence.

  This case illustrates a narrow focus of attraction, most likely associated with a very high arousal value deriving from its illicit nature. Also there is the search to recapture a trigger to desire which arose initially by chance. The unavailability of the wife for a conventional sexual relationship would have contributed to a vacuum, ready to be filled.

  Voyeurism appears to be almost exclusively a male pursuit (Kinsey et al., 1953).

  Link to other behaviour

  Voyeurism does not, of course, necessarily lead to more serious behaviour such as rape. However, it appears that in some cases, voyeurism serves as a gateway. One example of this is the Canadian rapist and killer Paul Bernardo, who became a peeping Tom when still a young boy (Pron, 1995). Bernardo also illustrates that voyeurism need not be a substitute for sexual activity involving physical contact. While married with his sexually very active partner, and right up to his arrest for rape and murder, he was still prowling as a peeping Tom.

  Voyeurism, particularly if accompanied by masturbation, captures the ingredients of what is, to some people, highly motivating sexuality: novelty, uncertainty, the excitement of the forbidden and the chance to search for perfection. The essential features of the forbidden and risk are evidenced by the fact that these days it is not necessary to run the risk of climbing drainpipes or hiding in bushes to see naked female bodies (Apter, 2007). However, by their legality and relative predictability of outcome, strip-clubs are presumably less arousing.

  Voyeurism and the Internet

  On the Internet, there are sites catering for the posting of subscribers’ favourite pictures, often those of a willing or unwitting wife or girlfriend,
a kind of reciprocal altruism between exhibitionists and voyeurs. The control is total and available at the click of a mouse. Nigel, a businessman described his use of Internet pornography, and illustrates the purposive nature of the activity and its inherent uncertainty (Maltz and Maltz, 2010):

  I know exactly what I am looking for in terms of a specific look and a specific type of sex. I know it’s there somewhere. I love the hunt, looking and searching for the best and most exciting, my ideal. And there’s always the chance I will be able to find something better than I had before.

  With Internet porn, it is reported (Maltz and Maltz, 2010, p. 20):

  As with capturing prey, you can look for it, circle around it, target it, and then go in for the ‘kill’ by purchasing or downloading the porn. Some porn users tell us that the hunt and conquest feeling that blends with sexual arousal is even more satisfying than having an orgasm.

  Fetishes, partialism and transvestism

  What are they?

  In its psychiatric use, ‘fetish’ refers to something that is indispensible for sexual arousal to occur, either when this is linked to a person or even when acting as a substitute for a person. The fetish might actually be physically present or would at least need to be present in the individual’s fantasy world (Binet, 1887). However, the term ‘fetish’ can also be used in a lay sense as something that has a particular sexual attraction and facilitates arousal (Scorolli et al., 2007). Thus, many towns have window displays of items of female attire, such as stockings and high-heeled shoes, designed to excite male sexuality by their association with the presentation of apparent female sexual availability. However, they are not usually an absolute prerequisite to such desire and would thereby not constitute fetishes in the psychiatric sense (Money, 1986). One can speculate that the fetish serves as a token for the whole female, helping the man to fill in the full picture (C. Wilson, 1988). The fetish is a kind of tag, which gives the unlimited and unthreatening fantasy world its emotional colouring and richness.