In the Heart of Forever (A Heart Story)

by Jo-Anna Walker

  “Don’t you sometimes wish you could just run away?”

  His features hardened. “All the fucking time.”

  I sighed, shaking my head.

  He grabbed my hands in his and brushed his lips along my knuckles before kissing each one. He sat behind me and pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here, baby.”

  Tears pricked my eyes and I nodded. “Thank you.”

  The feel of his warm body enveloping mine, made all of the problems that seemed to have lasted forever, shatter around me.

  The sound of people approaching interrupted our conversation.

  “I don’t know. I don’t really talk to her anymore since she’s been hanging out with the new guy.”

  “Oh yeah, I’ve seen them walking the halls together.”

  Rave tensed behind me and I sat up, listening to the voices that were headed towards us. I knew one was Jake but the other, I didn’t recognize.

  “Yeah, they’ve gotten pretty cozy I hear, too,” Jake said suggestively.

  My head whipped to Rave’s and his eyes darkened. I looked back at where the sound was coming from. My heart started beating hard against my chest. I had a feeling that this conversation wasn’t going to end well.

  Through the book shelf, in between each row, I could see Jake and the other kid standing on the other side.

  Rave tapped me on the arm to get my attention. He lifted his finger to his lips. I nodded. I didn’t want to hear anymore but I was curious as to what lies Jake and his friend were talking about.

  “I thought you and Jesse were close?”

  “I thought so, too. I don’t know how many times I hinted at wanting to go on a date with her. I then asked her if she wanted to go to the Valentine’s Day dance with me and she turned me down. Probably because of that jackass, Rave. I bet she’s going with him,” Jake replied, a bitter edge coating his voice.

  My eyes widened. He never once hinted. I couldn’t believe him. He just asked me to the dance not that long ago but never hinted before then. I had assumed we would go as friends if I did decide to go with him.

  “Well, I think you could do better. She’s kinda boring, anyways.” The other kid laughed.

  “Not to mention moody,” Jake added.

  A lump formed in my throat. Jake was supposed to be my friend. My best friend. Where did he get off saying this crap about me?

  “What did you hear about Rave what’s his face?”

  I turned to Rave and whispered. “Rave what’s his face?”

  He rolled his eyes and bent his knee, resting his arm on it. He was calm and collected while my nerves were jumping around in my body, like they were on drugs. “Apparently Black is hard for these douchebags to remember.”

  I curled my arm around his bent leg and linked our hands together. I kissed the back of his hand as we sat there and listened.

  “I heard that he was in juvie,” Jake told his friend. They sounded just as bad as the Triple M’s.

  “Did you hear about his sister?”

  I gasped. How the hell—

  Rave snarled behind me and pushed out of my grasp. He rose to his feet and stormed up to Jake and his friend. “What the hell did you hear about my sister?”

  Simultaneous yelps erupted from the other side and I had to smile to myself.

  “Hi Rave…I…uh…” Jake stuttered.

  Rave took a step towards him and fisted his shirt with both hands, pulling him towards him.

  Oh crap.

  I rose to my feet and rounded the corner just as Rave stuck his face in Jakes. Jake’s eyes widened when he saw me. “Jesse.”

  “Well Jake, I see you got this covered. Later.” The other kid ran down the aisle.

  “Nice friend you got there,” Rave growled.

  I placed a hand on his tense back. “Rave.”

  “What did you hear about my sister, Jake?” Rave asked him. His nostrils flared, the veins in his neck straining against the skin. His body was shaking under my hand. He was holding back. I knew he wanted to beat the crap out of Jake right then and there.

  “I…I didn’t hear anything.” Jake looked at me, his eyes wide, begging me to help him.

  Should I? I didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to let Rave pound him into the ground for the hurtful things he said about us. I gripped Rave’s arm and wrapped my other hand around his, attempting to release his grip from Jake’s shirt. “Rave, it’s not worth it.”

  Jake looked between us, his lips pressed flat.

  Rave’s gaze met mine, his eyes going warm. He released Jake and ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

  I stepped in between them and glared at Jake. “What did you hear about his sister?”

  “No…nothing,” he stammered, taking a step back.

  “How do you even know about his sister?” I asked him. The tension from Rave flew around me and I grabbed his hand.

  “Rumors…that she was in the mental hospital. Clearly, crazy runs in the family.”

  Rave took a step towards him, but I pushed against his chest, holding him back all the while keeping my eyes on Jake. “You’re very lucky that I am here, Jake.”

  He smirked. “Why’s that?”

  “Because if I wasn’t, I’m sure Rave here would beat you into the ground and not think twice about it.”

  Jake’s eyes flicked to Rave’s and back to mine. “I just wanted you to go to the dance with me.”

  A lump formed in my throat at the change in our friendship. It would never be the same. Jake was jealous and even if I were with a different guy, Jake wouldn’t be happy. “Jake, I’m so sorry.”

  He took a deep breath. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt you. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you if he does.”

  “Leave, before I let him go,” I demanded. Jake didn’t even hesitate. He darted down the aisle and was out of our site quicker than I expected. If anyone was going to do the hurting, it would be me.

  Rave stood there behind me. Frozen.

  My heart thumped rapidly against my chest and I turned towards him, wanting to help ease some of his pain.

  He released my hand and shoved his fingers through his hair, walking past me.

  “Rave,” I frowned.

  He paused in his steps and walked back to me. He cupped under my chin and placed a hard kiss on my lips and then my nose.

  “I need to be alone.” He walked down the aisle, leaving me in the darkness of the corner. And here I thought it would have been me that needed help, when really both of us were screwed up.

  Chapter 12

  After Rave left the library, I didn’t see him for the rest of the day. Was his sister really in the mental hospital? I wished he would talk to me but then on the other hand I wouldn’t talk to him…so that wasn’t really fair of me to ask.

  I tried not to speak to Jake in Chemistry class but that didn’t last long.

  “Jesse, please. I’m sorry. I wasn’t jealous until Melanie…”

  I turned to him when his voice trailed off. “Until Melanie what?”

  He looked down, chewing on his bottom lip. “I was happy for you that you met a friend other than me. I was concerned cause of the crap I had heard, but I knew you could handle yourself.”

  “Okay and?”

  He sighed. “Melanie approached me, putting all of this stuff in my head about how I lost my chance to be with you and that I should fight for you and crap.”

  I shook my head. “Of course she did. Why wouldn’t she? She wants Rave all to herself.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Jake.”

  “Jesse, I am. I should never have said those things to you.”

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “It’s not just me that you have to apologize to.”

  He nodded.

  After class, I headed to my locker, in hopes that I would see Rave but he was nowhere around. My stomach twisted with unease.

 
“Hey, four eyes.”

  I glanced up and saw the Triple M’s headed in my direction.

  Being lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t even notice them until it was too late. “Haven’t you caused enough shit, Melanie?”

  She smirked. “Who, me?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Putting lies into Jake’s head so you can get Rave all for yourself?”

  She smiled, her blue eyes going cold with satisfaction. “Rave deserves better. Where his talents won’t be wasted on a short, inexperienced ho bag.” She waggled her eyebrows.

  I huffed in disgust.

  “I don’t want you at the party.” She said as I walked by her.

  “Like I’d want to go to a tribute to your own pathetic importance.”

  She grabbed my arm, spinning me towards her. “Everyone wants to go to my party. You’re just jealous that you’ll never be one of the cool people.”

  “If you are the definition of ‘cool’, no thanks,” I snapped, shrugging out of her hold. I continued walking down the sidewalk.

  “I don’t know what Rave sees in you,” Melissa shouted.

  I sighed but didn’t comment.

  “Did you put out? Is that why he’s interested in you?”

  My cheeks heated and I turned towards them. “That is none of your business.” There was no point denying the rumors, that wouldn’t make them believe it any less.

  Miranda laughed. “I think the rumors are true.”

  “So tell me, four eyes. Is his…you know…” Melanie licked her lips. “…big?” The other girls giggled. “Cause I think it is. He’s hot. I bet even though he’s so young—” The sound of a rumble interrupted Melanie’s sentence.

  We turned to a black muscle car stopped beside us. “Thanks for the chat, ladies. It’s been fun.” I bit out and headed to the car. The door opened as I approached it and I slid into the passenger seat.

  “When you’re ready for a real woman, give us a call,” Melissa called out.

  I turned to the girls and glared at them. My blood boiled but the look on Melanie’s face made my stomach drop. She wanted Rave but jealousy made girls do some crazy stuff.

  My heart beat fast against my chest as I slammed the door closed.

  My gaze landed on a yellow tulip resting on the dashboard. I picked it up and sniffed it. My heart fluttered as I turned my head to Rave but he didn’t acknowledge me. I grabbed his hand, linking our fingers together. His tense body relaxed at my touch. “Thank you for the flower.”

  He nodded once but didn’t say anything as we pulled out of the parking lot.

  I placed the flower back on the dash and leaned against him, running my other hand up and down his arm. “Where did you go this morning?”

  “Out.”

  I frowned and looked up at him. “Rave.”

  His eyes snapped to mine. They were cold and dark. There was a temper behind that stare. A temper I never wanted to see unleashed on myself or anyone for that matter.

  I swallowed hard and looked away. My eyes grew heavy as I watched the city pass us by. I didn’t know where we were going. I knew I had to be home by a certain time but I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if Allan hit me because I was late making his supper. I didn’t care. No one was ever going to hurt me again. Not Allan, not Jake and especially not Rave. I wouldn’t allow it.

  ***

  I stirred sometime later, my eyes feeling like they were filled with sand. I must have fallen asleep. I looked around and realized I was still in Rave’s car. It was still light out.

  Rave was sitting on the hood of his car, looking out into a field.

  We were surrounded by maple and pine trees. I didn’t know where we were but I knew we couldn’t have gone far.

  I opened the door and stepped out, shivering as a cool breeze washed over. I took a tentative step towards Rave.

  He looked down at me, no emotion showing in his eyes. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I took another step towards him and placed my hands on his knees.

  He wrapped his arms around me, turning my back to him. He enveloped me and rested his chin on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

  I leaned against him and sighed. “What’s wrong with us, Rave?”

  “We’re teenagers, that’s what’s wrong,” he grumbled.

  I laughed, lightly.

  “Wow.” His voice was filled with shock.

  I turned my head. “What?”

  “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh. Like, actually laugh.”

  “Oh…well…” I cleared my throat.

  “I like it,” he said and kissed my nose.

  I smiled and leaned against him, pulling his arms tighter around me.

  “I went to see my brother today.”

  “Oh?”

  “You asked me where I went this morning. I went to Ren’s.” He squeezed me, like I was his stress ball and after a couple of squeezes, he’d feel better.

  I wanted to be there for him. Make him happy. “How did your visit with him go?”

  “Ren has a punching bag in the back of the shop, so I worked out some tension. I’m surprised the thing’s still swinging.” He chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Well, I’m glad you feel better.” I ran a hand over his arm.

  “The thing is, I didn’t feel better until I saw you.”

  My breath caught.

  He moved up higher on the hood of his car, letting go of me.

  I turned to him as he lay against the windshield, his hands going behind the back of his head. He looked at me, his eyes darkening. Challenging me with his stare.

  For what? I wasn’t sure. I grabbed the elastic from my wrist and threw my hair up into a messy bun, all the while feeling Rave watching me. My skin tingled under his scrutiny.

  “How’s the tattoo?”

  I looked down at my still wrapped wrist. I had completely forgotten about it and made a mental note to rub some of the healing jelly on it later. “It’s actually itchy now that I think about it.”

  “You forgot to put some of that stuff on it like I told you to, didn’t you?” he asked, amusement in his voice.

  “Yeah, I did. It doesn’t hurt so I never even thought about it.” I reached a finger under the bandage, lightly scratching over the small tattoo.

  A hand grabbed my wrist.

  I startled.

  Rave had sat back up. He tore the tape off of my wrist and un-wrapped the gauze from it. “Don’t scratch it, it’ll scar and heal funny if you do that. It doesn’t look too bad, though.”

  My lips parted, watching him run a thumb over the small tattoo now turned scab.

  He kissed my wrist and then my palm.

  I looked back up into his eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder.

  His eyes flicked down to my mouth.

  I wanted to feel those lips on mine again, to lose myself in the depths of his stare. I wrapped my hands around his neck and brought his head down to mine, his lips hovering over my mouth. Hot breath scorched my skin as I waited.

  “Kiss me,” I whispered.

  He closed the distance. Our mouths opened at the same time, tongues clashing and dancing together.

  Desire for him curled in my belly, sending sparks through my limbs.

  He ran his hands up my back and pulled me closer to him. He released my mouth and trailed kisses along my jaw and down my neck.

  I moaned, running my fingers through the hair at his nape.

  He lifted his head and looked down at me. His breathing ragged as his chest heaved.

  I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to keep going. The little voice in my head told me it was too soon but I didn’t care. I needed to feel good.

  “Rave, please don’t stop,” I begged.

  He covered my mouth again and grabbed onto my waist, grazing his fingers under my shirt. The feel of his hands on my skin, sent nervous but wonderful butterflies through my belly. I wanted more.

  I fisted his shirt in my hands and pulled him again
st me, needing to feel him all over me. He sucked and pulled at my tongue, igniting a fire deep in my belly. I couldn’t get enough of him.

  I ran my hands under his shirt, my fingers grazing over his tight hard abs. His muscles twitched under my touch and he pulled me tighter against him.

  The sounds of the cool afternoon wilderness erupted around us. Making out on the hood of Rave’s sexy black car was hot as hell and I wouldn’t change one single moment about it.

  Rave released me and gripped my hip, resting his head in the crook of my neck. “You’re so beautiful. God, Jesse, I…I can’t control myself when I’m with you.”

  I ran my hands up under his shirt, letting them roam over his hard torso. “You make me feel alive.”

  “Baby, you need to stop doing that.” His voice came out deep and husky.

  “Why?” I licked my lips and kissed his neck, running my hands up to his chest.

  “Jesse, are you a virgin?”

  My hands stopped and I pulled back. “Yes. Does that bother you?”

  Rave smirked and placed a soft kiss on my lips and then trailed kisses down to my ear. “No,” he whispered. “To be your first would be the fucking hottest thing ever.”

  My body heated at his words and I leaned my head to the side, giving him better access to my skin.

  He sat up and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug. “As much as I want to keep going right now, I don’t want you to regret anything.”

  I looked up at him. “I won’t.”

  He placed his hands on my face and kissed me gently. “I’m not taking your virginity in the back seat of my car.”

  “Well it is a sexy car,” I said, stepping away from him. My skin burned as he watched me walk around to the side of the car and got into the back seat.

  “What are you doing?”

  I smiled, daring him to join me.

  “Jesse.”

  “Rave, you worry too much.” I held my hands out to him as he moved to the door. I pulled off my sweater and laid down.

  His eyes roamed down my body, caressing me with his heated gaze. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “Just kiss me.” I sat up as he slid onto the seat and before he could object, I straddled his lap.

  “Jesse, this is definitely not a good idea.” He cupped my ass and ran a hand under the back of my t-shirt.