A Different Light

by Morningstar Ashley

“Come on, Princess, into bed with you.” Mac pushed him to keep walking instead of staring around the room. He had him covered up and snuggled in before Bennett spoke again.

  “Are you coming to bed too?” He hated how his voice slurred with sleep and had a tinge of sadness to it. Benadryl always made him feel floaty and tired and say the stupidest things that he normally keep to himself.

  “I’ll be right there, B. No worries. I’m just going to close the curtains. I think sleeping in tomorrow is in order. I already texted Danny to let him know.”

  Mac walked around pulling the blinds and curtains closed before climbing in the other side of the bed. They lay there facing each other in the dark, neither saying anything, and Bennett started to drift off to sleep. One last thought filtered through the fog in his mind before he crashed.

  “I think I’m falling for you, Mac.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s all cleared up. It only took about six days to be completely gone.”

  Bennett was talking to Jaden on the phone as Mac stepped outside to the barbecue, cooking the meat for their dinner. They decided to eat out on the porch since they still had a few hours of daylight left.

  The last week and a half had been surreal in so many ways. They were inseparable. They spent the days working on the Cole house—which would most definitely be done ahead of schedule—and their nights at Mac’s, cooking and talking and fucking. Most of those nights Bennett slept over. Mac asked him the first couple of times, his great excuse being that Bennett sold most of the furniture in his parents’ house, after that Bennett just stayed. All night wrapped around Bennett was his new favorite thing.

  The morning after Bennett had sleepily admitted to falling for him, Bennett hadn’t mentioned it at all. At first, Mac had been upset but then he quickly realized Bennett probably didn’t know that, in his drug induced sleep, he’d said it out loud. Which left Mac with the knowledge but not sure what to do about it.

  One of the nights that Bennett came over to Mac’s late after video chatting with Jaden, Mac had gone into his studio to paint. Getting lost in the oil paints and the glide of his brush centered him. Made it easier to think and sometimes to breathe.

  He did something that night that he’d rarely done in the past. He painted a picture of Bennett. It was him, standing in the field bathed in moonlight, smiling. It was the smile Mac liked to think was just for him but that was him being way too mushy. Bennett also had his hand out toward Mac, left there for Mac to grab.

  That was how Mac saw the sleepy slip of a confession from Bennett. That was Bennett reaching out his hand to him and Mac had to decide whether to take it or not. It may have taken him ten days, but he was grabbing that hand. He didn’t know what would happen once he did, but he was willing to take the risk.

  Mac didn’t know how he was going to tell Bennett about his studio and painting. His painting was part of his soul and letting people in to see it always left him feeling vulnerable, but this was Bennett and he trusted him. He asked Allie for advice, but the stubborn girl just stared at him like he was stupid and said, “Use your words, Mac,” then smacked him upside the head before walking away.

  Some days he wasn’t sure how their friendship had lasted twelve years.

  Mac was turning the ribs when Bennett came out of the house barefoot, phone in hand, but no longer talking on it.

  “Everything alright with Jaden?” Mac hadn’t ever talked to Jaden, but Bennett talked about him and to him a lot, so he felt as though he already met the guy.

  “Oh, yeah. Or rather so he says. I hear something in his voice when we talk. He just won’t tell me what. All he does is talk about me and my life.”

  “I’m sure, when he’s ready, he’ll open up and tell you what’s going on. Trust your instincts and let him know you’re there to listen.”

  “I may need to spell it out for him.” Bennett shook his head, placed his phone on the table, and wrapped his arms around Mac from behind, resting his cheek on Mac’s back.

  Mac felt so keyed up from the nerves of wanting to tell Bennett about his studio, but a hug from Bennett helped smooth out the rough edges of his panic. He couldn’t be calm and collected about it, but not all out panicking would be good. Mac laid one of his hands over Bennett’s and squeezed. “Hey, B, let’s eat, the food is done. I want to show you something when we’re done.”

  “Ohhh, does it involve you naked? Because I am all for that,” Bennett teased as he stepped back.

  “Maybe. How about you eat like a good boy and maybe you’ll get a reward.”

  Bennett’s pupils dilated then cleared his throat, “Tease,” Bennett grumbled.

  They sat and ate at the table on the porch. They chatted mostly about the Cole house. Within the next few days, Bennett would be done painting and he was extremely proud of himself. But he was trying to plan around the last few things Mac’s crew had to do, mainly refinishing the kitchen cabinets and the stairs, because although he’d been selling the furniture, there was still the last bedroom set upstairs that needed to be moved downstairs before they got to refinishing the stairs.

  Mac wanted to tell Bennett to forget it and sell the shit and just stay with him, but he knew the man well enough to know that he would baulk at the idea of what he would consider taking advantage of Mac, even though he was already spending every night at Mac’s. That was what he got for falling for a stubborn man.

  Mac had just been finishing off the last bit of the potato salad on his plate when Bennett spoke, “Alright, I’m done. Where’s my prize?”

  Mac shook his head and chuckled. Bennett was so eager and full of life sometimes that it just warmed Mac up from the inside out. He made Mac happy.

  He only hoped showing Bennett this part of himself would convey to Bennett how he felt about the geek. Mac wanted to give this to him. He just needed to find the words to tell him before they walked into that room. Or maybe that was all he had to do. Show him instead of talking his damn ear off over it.

  “You’re scowling, Mac. Naked rewards don’t make you scowl. So, what’s really going on?” Although his words were playful, Bennett’s tone spoke of how serious his question was.

  “You’re right. I was trying to find the words to tell you about something but it’s…big. At least to me it is. It’s not something I’m used to talking about so finding the words seems impossible. So, I think I’ll just show you. You wouldn’t want me to babble on and on, and I would.” Mac stood from the table and grabbed the nape of his neck in what he knew was a nervous gesture but damn he was so fucking anxious.

  He knew that Bennett wouldn’t laugh or make fun or be nonchalant about it, but this was a big step. He was going to expose the hidden part of himself to Bennett. Showing someone his art was like showing them his soul, his dreams, and his heart. But that was why he was doing it. Mac felt comfort in the fact that he knew Bennett felt as he did, that there was more between them than sex and friendship. Maybe it couldn’t go anywhere, but while Bennett was here, he wanted him to know Mac, and his art was a surefire way to do it.

  “Just before I show you, know that less than a handful of people know this part of me, and even they don’t get to see what you’re about to see.”

  Bennett stood, walked over to Mac, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in acknowledgment. “I hear you.”

  The serious way he took Mac’s words further smoothed his nerves. He leaned in and kissed Bennett swift and hard before walking him into the house toward the locked door in the family room. He took a deep breath before putting the key into the lock and turning.

  He stepped into the room, Bennett right behind him, and turned on the lights. It was still bright enough outside for Bennett to see the room, but to really see his work, the lights were needed.

  Mac stepped to the side, allowing Bennett to enter fully into the room. The smell of paint and heat didn’t calm him as it normally would have. He was nervous. Words wanted to spill out to explain…everything. Each art piece of his own on display, why he
did it, when he did it. Just everything. Mac wanted to fill the silence with words, but he remained silent through every step Bennett had taken and every canvas he looked over.

  There were plenty on the wall that the door was on. He filled that space with his own artwork and leaning against the walls around the room was all the art that wouldn’t fit on that one wall. He only allowed his paintings to be displayed here, otherwise others would see them, and possibly ask questions he wasn’t ready to answer.

  “Mac.” Bennett paused shaking his head. Mac didn’t know what to say, but before he could gather the brain power to say something, Bennett saw his most recent work.

  “As you can probably tell, that’s not exactly my typical painting. Landscapes are my thing. They allow me to show what I see when I look at all the nature around me. But…you said something last week that had me thinking about you a lot. If you can imagine, more than the normal amount. And that was what came from those thoughts. That’s what I see when I look at you.”

  “I…have no words that could describe what I’m thinking right now,” Bennett whispered.

  “Is that bad?” Mac’s voice was steady but even he heard the hint of caution in that question.

  Bennett turned and stepped toward him. “No, it’s good. It’s more than good. I am in awe of you, Mac. You have such talent bottled up inside you. Come to think of it, I think I’m a little jealous. I could only dream of having this type of talent.”

  Mac had to admit he felt relieved. Thinking of Bennett’s reaction and seeing it were two very different things. “Like I said, I’m just me, nothing special or better than anyone else that can paint.”

  Bennett shook his head. “We must work on what you think of yourself.” He turned back to the wall full of art and asked, “Is this all your art?”

  “Yeah, I work with different mediums depending on my mood.”

  “They’re all gorgeous, Mac. I’ve always loved watercolors and yours are especially beautiful, but your oil paintings are just wow.”

  “I’d planned on showing you this at some point. I wanted you to know this side of me, but last week…you said something that gave me the push I needed to finally show you.” Bennett turned while Mac was speaking with a question written on his face. “I know you don’t remember because it was the night you were drugged up on Benadryl and saying cute things.”

  “Oh, yes, the wonders of sleep medicine to make me act like a dork.” Bennett chuckled at himself. “What did I say that was so profound you would show me the wonder in this room?”

  “You told me that you were falling for me.” Mac had let the statement float out there for minute before saying, “At first, I was happy. Beyond happy, because who wouldn’t want to hear that from you. But it caused a bigger question than I was ready to answer at that moment. But…showing you this,” Mac waved his hand around the room. “This is my answer to you. You didn’t ask a question but…I’m falling in love with you too.” Mac could feel the heat crawl up his face for the first time in his whole life. He never said anything close to I love you to another guy before.

  “I’m leaving in four and a half weeks.”

  Mac’s heart thudded hard in his chest. Had he been wrong to say something? Had it just been a drugged up confession that meant nothing? “I know,” Mac replied, his voice quiet and small in the face of the fear that was coursing through him.

  Bennett took another step closer, now only two feet separated them. “I don’t doubt that I said that to you last week. I don’t know why I would’ve said it.”

  Bennett looked away and stared out the glass wall, the fear that had trickled into Mac’s heart started to spread like wildfire. He should take it back or walk away, those might hurt worse.

  Bennett took a deep breath before turning back to Mac, his eyes holding so much emotion that it made Mac breathless. He was going to speak, to tell Bennett to not speak the words Mac feared he was about to, but he was hushed before he could.

  “No, let me speak. That came out wrong. I know why I said it at the time. I had known for days before that, even before our camping trip. You’ve been showing me parts of yourself that I didn’t know years ago. Mostly through my own stubborn, asshat fault. It’s funny how just one piece of information opened my mind, and eventually my heart, to a new side of you. But now…now it’s different again because I’ve fallen, Mac…I’ve fallen for you, and I’ve never done that before. Not to mention, I’m leaving soon, and for the first time in a long time, my lists and analyzing don’t give me the answers I need when my heart doesn’t want to walk away.” Bennett was breathless by the time he spit all those words out.

  Mac was in shock. That was not what he thought Bennett was going to say, but he was overjoyed that he’d been wrong.

  “I know, Princess.” Mac caressed Bennett’s cheek, his voice raspy with emotion. “Neither of us have ever been in this spot. But I think we owe it to ourselves to take the risk and see this through. I know you’ll leave and nothing can change that. You have that dream job waiting for you, but can’t we just enjoy it while we have it?”

  “I’m not ready to walk away.” That was Mac’s answer. It was the answer that he wanted and needed and hoped for, and now he just wanted to kiss the hell out of his geek.

  Stepping completely into Bennett’s personal space, he placed his hands on either side of his neck, gently pulling his face to his as he locked his eyes onto the most beautiful blue eyes he’d ever seen. Flicking his tongue out, he kept his eyes open, not moving them away from Bennett’s. His tongue traced a wet path from one corner of Bennett’s lips to other corner and back. Bennett moaned and grabbed at his shirt, holding on but letting Mac guide the kiss.

  Then Mac was kissing him with everything he was, and Bennett was hungrily kissing him back. A tremor rocked through Bennett’s body and it echoed in Mac’s. It was a moment that felt so huge, so deep that Mac wanted to rip it open and expose it all, soak in every last ripple of love and arousal that flowed out.

  Mac moved them back toward the large glass wall that overlooked the backyard. Step by step until they hit the glass, but never once stopping the assault on Bennett’s mouth. He thrust his tongue and nipped at his lips until a filthy groan escaped from Bennett.

  Once he had Bennett’s back braced against the window, their kisses turned frantic. Hands moved and pulled at shirts until they were tossed. Then it was skin meeting skin, chest against chest. Fingers played restlessly over bodies, never settling. They were learning each other by touch. Finding new spots that they hadn’t found the other times they’d been naked together. Everything felt heightened, felt more. It was like using touch to express the words they could never find.

  Mac tried to pour all the love he had for Bennett out of his body into any and every part that touched and pleasured Bennett, but it never felt like enough. Moving back just a half step, he grabbed at Bennett’s zipper and pulled until his pants were loose around his hips. Mac slid his hands up his flat abs and around his sides to reach under Bennett’s pants and grabbed his ass. God, how he loved that tight ass. Wanted it wrapped around him, his heat enveloping him while he fucked into him.

  “Please, Mac.” Bennett was pleading, wanting more. Well, Mac had an idea how to give him more. Stepping back, he pushed and pulled until Bennett stood leaning against the glass, completely naked.

  “Okay, Princess. You stay right there and wrap your hand around that gorgeous cock and stroke it slowly for me.” Mac ended his demand with a kiss. A sigh left Bennett’s body, unbidden.

  Bennett had no way of knowing what Mac had planned, but he saw where Mac was going.

  “Mac? What are you doing?”

  Throwing a wink over his shoulder, Mac walked over to the cabinet that held all his paints. Opening the door that housed the watercolors, he pulled out the palette for the paint, a thick paint brush, a small glass jar for water, and three tube watercolors. He squeezed a small amount of each color onto his palette then filled the jar before making his way bac
k over to Bennett. He watched as Bennett stroked his cock ever so slowly, just as Mac asked of him. His chest was rising and falling with short, sharp intakes of breath. He was fucking gorgeous.

  He placed the jar of water and the palette on the nearby stand before turning back to Bennett with a smirk. “Can I play with you, Princess?”

  “Oh, god,” Bennett breathed out. Mac knew that he liked him speaking to him that way. As much as Bennett loved teasing and torturing Mac with pleasure, he equally loved being teased beyond his own control. Mac wanted to see him unravel.

  He dipped the brush in the water then touched it lightly to the paints, spreading the color out with the water. Dipping into the darkest pigment, away from the pool of water, he lifted it and painted a straight line down Bennett’s chest until he reached the trimmed patch of hair at his groin. Bennett tipped his head back, hitting the glass as he closed his eyes on a groan.

  Again dipping the brush in water then paint, he repeated his action to the arm not being used to stroke his hard dick. Another moan escaped him.

  Mac repeated the strokes with red then blue then purple, painting Bennett as though he were Mac’s canvas. He painted both arms starting from the base of his neck down, causing paint to drip off his fingertips to the floor.

  Mac dipped the brush in the blue and painted around and around his nipples, flicking the rigid peak as if he was using his tongue until the color ran in rivulets down his chest and over his balls making Bennett’s legs nearly buckle. “Please.”

  Mac dipped and painted, this time with purple, around his navel over and over then down to where his leg met his groin. The area so sensitive to touch. Mac knew the wet slide of the thick brush felt like a tongue but cooler to the touch. He wanted to paint Bennett’s cock, but he damn well wanted that heavy length in his mouth more than he wanted to torture Bennett.

  He dropped the brush on the palette then dropped to his knees, careful on the unforgiving tile floors. Mac needed his mouth on Bennett. He shooed away Bennett’s hand and wrapped his own around the blushing red length. He rubbed his thumb in the pearl of precome at his slit, then dipped into the hole. Mac spread the fluid over Bennett’s cock, jacking it slowly, then licked around the base. Bennett grabbed at the hair on Mac’s head, holding on and begging for more at the same time.