by Abra Ebner
Suddenly someone grabbed my hand from behind and I turned to look, but before I could see who it was, the whole scene dissipated around me in the fear that now gripped my head. I tried all I could to grasp onto the dream but there was little I could do as my heart throbbed in pain and the world returned.
* * *
I woke suddenly, the room now dark and the candles bursting to life as I opened my eyes. Startled, I looked around, forgetting that I had fallen asleep in my own bed, in my own room. My breathing was heavy as I continued to grasp onto the dream, begging it to stay and tickle me with the hope of Edgar.
I was so used to waking in the sitting room that the strange realization of comfort took me by surprise. It was dark now, and I frowned at the hour, wishing I hadn’t fallen asleep for I now found myself wide awake and anxious.
The warm mass by my side moved and I put my hand down to pet it. I had expected the soft fur of the cat but was surprised when I felt feathers instead. I looked down and saw Isabelle nestled next to me, her eyes closed and her face smiling. Pressing my brows together where my frantic gaze switched to the room and I scanned for the cat. I twisted my body as Isabelle began squirming awake where she got up as well.
Finally, my gaze fell to the silk chair by the bed. The cat was perched on the cushion, her eyes glaring at Isabelle with hate and her body rigid. The sharp gurgle at my side made me look back at Isabelle in surprise. It was now apparent that there had been some sort of battle between them, a fight over who got to sleep closest to me while I was out. I shrugged and smiled, finding I was a little disappointed I’d missed it.
“Yeah it was good,” Sam walked into the room then. “I was rooting for the ball of feathers. It’s at least good to see that she has something about her I can admire. Her fighting abilities were very impressive.” He eyed the cat and snorted, “This one’s a wimp though. I’m surprised it even lasted in the wild for so long.”
“Sam that’s sadistic.”
“What? If your bird kills the filthy cat then at least it’s not my fault,” he shrugged.
The cat let an angry cry escape her jowls as she tilted her head back in emotional agony, her gaze sharp as her eyes darted to Sam’s. Sam chuckled. The cat then jumped out of the chair, the pads of her feet slapping against the floor where she landed with a solid thump. I watched her as she trotted to the doors and out, her tail sassy and arrogant. I then turned my gaze to Sam, tapping my foot in annoyance, angry that he had scared her off.
With anxious haste, I jumped off the bed in my attempts to follow but then halted as she paused and looked back at me instead. It appeared as though she was waiting for me and following was just what she had in mind. Suddenly aware that I was making her wait, I rushed to her side where she then trotted forward and to the stairs, her head continuing to glance back at me, making sure I was following. Her tail bopped with a comic ownership as she leaped one step at a time, maneuvering her decline like an expert.
The cold marble steps felt welcoming beneath my feet as I worked hard to keep up. She stopped at the bottom while I descended the last few, her tail raised in waiting. As I met her again she trotted into the library where she jumped onto the couch. I panted in behind her as she placed one paw on the warm cover of the gold book that I had left to rest on the cool leather.
I walked up to her with a slow curious caution, my eyes scanning hers with understanding. “You want to show me something?”
She chattered in agreement as I bent down and grabbed the book out from under her paw. I giggled as she then curled up on the warm spot left behind by the book as though cuddling in to hear a story. I lowered myself onto the cushion beside her as I flipped the book open, fanning the pages until I got to the back.
As I had guessed, there was a new page and I was quick to scan the etched image as it literally drew itself before me as though not yet ready for view. I watched in amazement as deep black lines bled across the paper, twisting into recognizable shapes. I marveled at the act, finding it a new discovery of my world.
The image that was forming before me in a delicate weave was of the cat and a white raven. They sat in a field, their gazes locked as though talking without words. The cat’s face was twisted into something that resembled a smile, the raven also possessing a look of happiness in its eyes.
I looked to the cat as she watched the page with a calm patience, as though finding the magic no surprise, “Did you make this happen?” I asked her softly.
She looked up at me, the pupils of her eyes narrowing and her face quite solemn.
“You did, didn’t you? You’re the one that keeps changing this.” I watched as her pupils then dilated and my eyes fell back to the image. “Is this us?” I pointed to the two figures as the ink continued to spread like a disease.
The cat chattered again, her whiskers shaking to life with both agreement and happiness.
I chuckled, “It’s amazing!” It was then that the words began to form in the small caption space at the bottom of the page and I read each aloud as they drew across the paper.
When they finally met, they recognized each other and the future was certain.
I pressed my brows together in confusion. According to the book I knew the cat, but I could not will my memory to remember her. I looked back down at her soft white fur, laying my hand on her back and closing my eyes. Who are you? My mind whispered, but nothing whispered back.
“I wish I knew who you were, I want to help,” my eyes opened where I looked deep in her eyes as her pupils became tight slits, her body now discouraged with my lack of memory as her back arched.
She sat up and walked toward me where she crawled in my lap, a gentle purr erupting from her chest as she consoled me for my misperception into her heart, into her identity.
“I’m sorry girl, I just don’t know you. My memory of my life before is lost.” I felt my heart sink. I was discouraged by this interaction and my chest erupted with an angry heat.
She released one pained meow as though feeling my own frustration and agreeing that she too felt lost. I placed my hand on her head and sighed with a heavy heart as I allowed the book to sit on my knees, the ink still curling in a few last embellishments. She rolled in my lap, rubbing her face against my leg with love, finding nothing more that could console the moment.
Sam poked his head into the room, “Are you hungry? I think I could manage a tuna fish sandwich.”
The cat perked up in my lap, forgetting our moment of bonding as she pushed off my legs and leapt over the book where she ran to Sam’s feet. She rubbed up against his leg, her body arching around his ankle in a bold show of both hunger and emotion. My jaw fell open in surprise, pride filling my heart as I wished I’d had the same gall.
“Oh yuck,” Sam let out a slight gag, kicking the cat away from his leg and backing into the hall. Despite the less than subtle shrug-off, she was insistent to following him, her will for tuna too strong to deny.
I laughed, “You said the magic word Sam, tuna.”
A sour look crossed his face and I could tell he would never say the word again. He backed his way into the kitchen where she followed, jumping onto the stool behind the bar and sitting with both manners and innocence. I followed and sat in the second stool as Sam reached into the cabinet for a can of tuna with a begrudged grunt of irritation.
He rummaged through the utensil drawer where I assumed he was searching for the can-opener, finding nothing as he came up empty handed. I watched amused as he placed a bowl before him, unfazed by the trivial setback as he snapped the can in half, the sharp edge of the aluminum barely able to dent his skin as it sliced across it.
As the tuna burst into the bowl, the cat’s eyes dilated with greed and obsession. I laughed and grabbed a chunk, placing it on the counter before her. With a polite and dainty paw she reached toward the meat, her claws bared as it seemed she had a sense of structure as though raised by humans. She grabbed the meat and held it in her paw, bringing it to her mouth as her enormous K-9’s
sunk into the flesh where she chewed in an entranced show of greed and gluttony.
Sam watched with a disgusted look of annoyance, “This is ridiculous, feeding a filthy cat from the table.” He eyed me with a vicarious mask, a glimmer of jealousy flashing in his eyes. “You are aware they bury their poop in dirt, not to mention walk all over it first. If I were you, I’d be protecting my flower beds.”
“Sam, just get over it, she’s staying. Besides, the flower beds could use the fertilizer.” A proud grin leered its way across my face, finding my retort not only perfect, but true.
He sighed; mumbling something inaudible under his breath as he mixed the tuna with a bit of mayonnaise and then slopped it onto two pieces of bread. “Here,” he shoved the soppy sandwich toward me.
I grabbed it with a smile as his hand touched mine, shocking me with its icy touch. Since our conversation about his life, things between us had seemed awkward, as though he had suddenly exposed a weakness and was now doing all he could to make up for it by being tough and closed off.
“Sorry,” he had noticed me jump, and I swear, if he could, he would be blushing from his faltering show of vulnerability.
GHOST
I rummaged through my closet in desperation as I searched for another pair of boots. I had lost the last pair somewhere in the forests of London and I cursed myself for being so careless. Those particular boots had been so incredibly comfortable that I scarcely believed I could let them go. I guess in my own defense however, I was in no state to remember material things at the time and everything had fallen to the wayside.
My heart was pounding with excitement. Today was the day I would see Edgar, well at least his ghost. Just knowing that my eyes would be able to trace the subtle lines of his face was good enough for me. I only wish I could touch him as well, feel the way I had before as the undeniable love had filled my soul.
The cat was curled in a pile of fresh comforters on my bed. Sam had helped me to change the sheets before I fell asleep last night, he had agreed it was probably best to get past the bad memories and begin moving forward. Isabelle was clawing into the back of the silk chair, her eyes slanted with anger as she watched the cat, her gaze never breaking. Isabelle had spent every moment she could watching her, mentally hating the cat’s every move.
With an overwhelming sigh of relief I fell out of the closet as I found a pair of black boots hiding behind a large hat box. I let out a cry of triumph as I stood, holding the boots above my head before sitting on the edge of the bed where I shoved my feet into the air and pulled each on with excitement.
They were made of soft suede and looked new despite the warn heel. I ran my hand down the length of them, the musky smell of the hide filling my nostrils. The good part was they weren’t too heavy and would make the hike easier than it had with the large boots I’d bought when I moved here. It was also nice because it was summer and I was hardly prepared to wear fur boots.
With triumph I stood, smoothing my grey t-shirt over my jeans. There was an elastic head band in my pocket and I snapped it over my neck and back up my forehead, pressing my silky hair back and away from my face. I looked at myself in the antique mirror, the angel-gilding around the edges of the glass beginning to flake away. My skin was perfectly radiant, and with one quick finishing touch I grabbed at some powder that sat on my vanity, splashing my face and arms with a light coat to hide the obvious pearly effect.
I clapped my hands together with content, happy that I had achieved a believable look of human, plain and normal. I walked toward the door as Isabelle leapt from the chair and glided to my shoulder. The cat stretched its back with laze before leaping to the floor and trotting to my side. As I descended the stairs, Sam walked out from the library where I noticed Henry was perched on his shoulder and it took me by surprise. Sam looked uncomfortable and awkward, as though embracing Henry’s companionship had brought warmth to his soul, something he didn’t know how to deal with.
“Wow you look hideous,” he choked out, meaning to be hurtful.
“Gee thanks, you really know the way to a woman’s heart.” I hardly gave him any sense that his comment had been mean, seeing that he was still struggling to accept his new softened identity.
He glanced at both Isabelle and the cat, “You look like a parade.”
I pointed to Henry, “You look like you’re coming around to my way of life.”
He grunted, “Whatever, he just seemed a little lonely. What, with you and your two favorite pets. You were leaving him to the dogs.” He crossed his arms in his defense.
“Whatever, I was not! Henry had the choice to hang out with me if he wanted.” His accusing remark had struck a chord with my desire to love all things.
Sam snorted, “Yeah whatever. So where do you think you’re going?” he knew, but I could see he was going to try and stop me.
“It’s none of your business,” I replied with a blunt snort.
Sam eyed me with mixed emotion.
I raised one vindictive eyebrow, “But you’re free to join me, if you dare.”
An angry grumble escaped his frozen face. I could see he wanted to go, but he was still fighting with his hatred for human life. “Maybe I’ll just watch.”
I laughed, knowing he had given in, “Good for you Sam, I’m glad to see you embracing civilization.”
His eyes narrowed as he gave me a playful tap on the shoulder.
I smiled at him and walked toward the door. The cat was at my heels. “You stay here,” I said with regret as she looked at Isabelle, Isabelle giving the cat a smug look of hierarchy. “You too Isabelle, you can’t go with me on this trip.” She clicked her tongue as she snapped at my ear.
Sam shrugged to himself in an attempt to make Henry get off his shoulder. It was clear he still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to touch him.
“Are you about ready?” I was stifling a giggle as Sam continued to shake his body but Henry refused to let go as he balanced himself with his wings.
I walked up to Sam with a frown, trying to clasp at Henry as Sam refused to stop thrashing. I grabbed Henry’s wings and pulled him from Sam’s shirt as he clawed at it with desperation. “It’s ok Henry,” I cradled him in my arms as he snapped his beak toward Sam. I gave him a kiss on the head, “Sam can’t be broken in one day my dear, have patience.”
Henry took a deep breath and exhaled as the feathers on his chest relaxed into defeat.
Sam let out one last violent shiver as though shaking off the smell. “Let’s just go ok?” he gave me a reproachful glare.
I dropped Henry to the ground as he spread his wings and flew up to the top banister of the stairs instead. I walked to the door but Sam beat me to it, grabbing the handle and opening it for me.
“Oh look who’s the gentleman now,” I teased.
He smiled, “After you, witch.”
A chuckle dragged in my throat as the warm summer air met my face. The comment didn’t hurt because it was true, and I was proud to be a witch. I heard him shut the door behind us and I walked down the front steps and into the meadow with little hesitation as it all disappeared behind me. I had done this so many times now, it seemed normal for my palatial mansion to fade into thin air.
“So are you going to come with me the whole time? Or are you going to back out at the first sight of a human?” I looked back at Sam as we stepped through the tall grass. The way it hooked around me in its everlasting love was at this point borderline annoying and I looked forward to the gravel paths of the College.
Sam watched me fight with the vegetation in amusement, “I’ll probably keep a safe and healthy distance. Heaven forbid I should catch a common cold.”
I laughed at his absurdity, “They’re not that bad Sam, really.”
He shrugged, “No I suppose not, but I’d rather just move on from them. There is so much life, or rather after-life, to live. I can’t waste it pining over someone I’ll never have.”
I nodded, my brows furled in frustration, “Are you saying I’m wa
sting my time?”
I looked back at his face again, his wings now protruding from his sides. “Perhaps,” he considered the statement some more before continuing. “You should just move on. Someday they will be gone and you’ll be back to square one, saddened by the inevitable loss due to the human cycle of life. It’s an unnecessary pain you can avoid now, before you get too attached.”
“Move on to what? It’s not like the world is heavily populated with my kind, I’m almost a hundred percent certain I am the last one. Besides, I’m already too attached.” The heat of the thick summer air was beginning to make me hot and I felt a bead of sweat form on my brow. “I’d rather live decades with friends as they grow old than spend it sad, avoiding life.”
I looked back toward the woods as two cold arms hooked under mine and whipped me skyward.
“I’m not about to trudge through there like a human,” Sam yelled into my ear. “That would take hours.”
He swung me into his grasp with little effort, hooking one arm under my knees and the other behind my back. I squealed, not feeling so much frightened, as taken off guard. The gentle waving motion that his large wings created as we cut through the air was much different than my quick sharp raven strokes had been and I liked it. His body was like having the air conditioner on full boar while riding in a car, and I couldn’t deny that this was a much better idea than walking.
I had thought about flying down to the college myself, but then I remembered that I would likely end up naked, and that wasn’t going earn me any Brownie points with Sarah. I knew she wasn’t exactly excited about Scott and I being friends, but how could she really mind when it was me whom had set them up. Besides, I had no control over the way Scott looked at me, that was his fault.
We glided in silence over the expanse of forest that separated my home from the College, the air changing from warm to hot depending on the various atmospheric pockets we whipped through. As the trees thinned I could just make out the few log structures that were scattered below, standing solid on the bank of the milky blue lake.
