Guardian

by Abra Ebner

  “Sam, just tuck your wings, you’re fine. You don’t need to be so defensive.” Margriete pointed to Sam’s back as her horse walked in tight circles, anxious to move forward.

  I giggled, finding the situation embarrassing for those involved. Sam grumbled under his breath as he loosened his grip on the mane, finally giving up as he submitted himself to a position of inferiority, something I’d never thought I’d see in all our lifetime.

  Sam glared at Margriete and Margriete smiled. I rolled my eyes at the sight, vomit threatening to well in my throat as I thought about the love blooming before me, much as it had with Scott and Sarah. Though I knew my own love story was sappy and filled with disgusting moments, I had at least refrained from subjecting anyone else to viewing it. My horse reared as Margriete’s horse nipped at its tail, their minds becoming restless with our inability to collect ourselves and press forward.

  I had never imagined a Pegasus to be so beautiful, like a drop of dew on a spring morning. It felt as though I were sitting on air, the cool crystal smoother than anything I had ever felt, like the softest water as it runs through your hands. Their existence within the ocean before us was mystical, as though they were the air of that world, moving with such grace and silence that it made the mermaids jealous.

  My horse stepped out toward the water, its hooves clapping against the surface like crystal goblets smacking together. Its wings were extended, allowing the simple rules of gravity to fall away as though the water were no longer a passable element but a glass stage. I looked below me and then to Margriete with fascination.

  “Cool huh?” she yelled, her voice echoing, “They walk on water.” She pointed toward the horizon, “This is the only way across, that’s why we needed that brush, to tame them, so that they would lend us their backs.”

  I looked up at the layer of fog above me, now grazing the top of my head. Margriete was right; Sam would never be able to fly through such a narrow space without disturbing the fog and causing the visibility to drop. If that were to happen, we would surely lose our way like a boat in a storm, searching for land until giving in and drowning.

  “Just lay low,” Margriete said it more to Sam than me as she saw that his head was engulfed by the fog, making him appear headless.

  I snickered and leaned close to the horses glowing mane where I looked down through its withers to its heart. All three horses reared as they lurched forward, bucking themselves into a gallop as the sharp clanging of hooves became so deep that it was like shattering glass. Each step caused the water to ripple, droplets flying up behind us as I looked back over the horses rump, its tail ringing like bells as the strands crashed together, flowing in the wind like a stream of water.

  Up ahead, a glowing crescent rose from the water like a moon, its light casting long rays directly toward us, leading our way. As we continued closer, the moon like orb continued to rise until it rose up and into the fog, the bottom half now peaking from below, still lighting our way.

  As I winced from the light I noticed the color around us was seeping back into the landscape, the light from the moon now spraying bright rainbow rays through the horse’s crystal bones. It was then that an island now rose from the horizon as though pulled by the moonlike orb, glowing in a color I had never seen in the human world.

  I could not look away as we swiftly descended on the mass of land, the misty air clearing and the water now a vibrant aquamarine. A bright white light now began to grow from the center of the large island, its outlines slowly forming into that of a city that was surrounded by a large wall and guarded by its own atmosphere. The horses approached the other bank without hesitation and as their hooves landed on the sand, they skidded to a halt, their rumps dipping to the ground as their front legs became buried in the sand.

  I lurched forward, the sudden halt threatening to launch me off and onto the sandy orange ground. The horses stood, their wings flapping as we all assessed our new surroundings, blinking at the colors and shielding our eyes from the sudden clarity of light. As I looked up, I saw that the swirling clouds I had seen in the desert all converged at this point, twisting in a circle like the eye of a hurricane. There were bright flashes of light as the storm above still raged on, threatening any whom dared to come here.

  “What is this place?” I gasped, looking to Margriete. My heart knew where we were, but my nerves had not been ready to accept that this was it; this was what I had been working toward all this time. I anxiously grabbed the handle of the dagger in my belt, feeling as the ring around my neck seemed to sink into my chest with searing warmth. I was so close now, Edgar was within my grasp. I could feel it.

  “It’s the nucleus of all things, the God’s kingdom.” Margriete looked at me with horrified eyes, her face remembering her last trip here, remembering the fate that had befallen her.

  Sam dismounted, his feet sinking into the sand as his horse suddenly reared, taking off toward the water as it crashed below the surface, its light slowly fading as it descended into its depths. I too dismounted as my horse was now anxious to follow its friend back home. Once we were all standing on the sand, we watched as the last horse disappeared and then our attention turned to the large gates that split the wall.

  The rungs of the gate were thick and bright, made of the same rock as the horses, but somehow more brilliant. There were levers and locks covering each rung, glimmering in the light from the earth and sparkling like diamonds. I looked down at my feet, finding that the sand below the place where I stood felt like pudding, melting in such a way that you felt you could not stand still for too long, fearing you would sink below the surface.

  The overall feeling of this new world was ominous, as though stuck in a glass jar that had been placed in the sun. Though there was no one in sight, the overwhelming feeling that someone was watching filled my body with tension and poise. The only sound was that of the waves behind us, crashing to the shore as though pulled by the energy of the island, threatening to engulf it.

  Margriete reached over her back and grabbed the book as I continued to analyze the peacefulness of this place. I stepped toward the gates as Sam hung over Margriete’s shoulder. Placing my hands on the bars I tried to look through the clear rungs to the world beyond but they seemed to blur the vision, refusing anyone to spy in but giving the notion that you could.

  The wall itself was made of a cool grey stone, not unlike anything I’d seen before, but perfectly shaped and mortared as though freshly laid. I took a step to the right, finding my feet had sunk into the sand up to my ankles. I gave each foot a shake as sand collected in the arches of my shoes, moving as though the sand were alive like tiny bugs. The clouds above crashed as the thunder continued to rumble, my bones shaking with each growl.

  “Hey Elle,” Margriete broke my attention.

  I looked back to them.

  “Come look at this,” Margriete summoned me forward, pointing at something in the book.

  As I rounded to look at the page, I saw the book now glowed with a replica of the gate, each gear in place and each lever locked. Margriete touched her hand to each gear and the ink twisted under her touch, attempting to unravel each catch as the door began to twist. Just as the doors were about to open, the movement began to slow, finishing with a crashing halt as Margriete sighed.

  “Well it’s not that one,” she looked up at the gate as it loomed before us. “We can test the levers with my drawing.” She turned her gaze back to the page, “We only get one chance to get this right on the real thing, so my drawing is a major help or else we’d be stuck here, sinking into the earth forever.”

  I crinkled my brow, “But there must be hundreds of levers!” I looked at the fifty foot door again, feeling overwhelmed.

  Margriete chuckled under her breath. “Exactly, that’s why I made the drawing, so that we don’t screw this up,” she reiterated.

  I grunted, feeling defeated and dumb. “Well don’t you remember which one it is?” I shot back.

  Margriete glared at m
e, “If I remembered, we’d be inside by now, besides, who knows if they’ve changed the locks or not.” There was a distinct tartness to her tone.

  Sam pressed his large finger onto the page, “What about this one?” The gear turned beneath his touch, quickly locking and refusing to budge faster than Margriete’s attempt had. He frowned, feeling foolish.

  Margriete let out a sharp laugh, “Fat chance Sam.”

  I glared at the page, now attempting to redeem myself. I hesitated at first, but as I looked back at the gate I saw that there was one lever that seemed to stand out. It wasn’t particularly large, but the shape was somehow different than the rest. Most levers were fashioned into round shapes with swirl vine-like handles, but this one was solid, and square.

  Looking back at the page again I raised my hand and brought it to the paper. The ink writhed under my soft touch, disliking the fact that I wasn’t Margriete but still succumbing to my wishes. The gears began to move, one at a time, starting from the far right corner of the gate and twisting each gear until they unlocked another, creating a chain reaction of silent motion within the ink.

  Margriete’s mouth began to twist into a smile as she watched with hungry eyes, Sam looming over our shoulders. The gears now spread into an overall rest as the latches simultaneously lifted and there was a clean open line between the two gates, suggesting it had unlocked. We all looked away from the book and toward the bright glowing gates at the same time, our eyes resting on the square knob, now glowing in our minds with hope.

  Sam was the first to lunge forward, an excited grin on his face as his wings sprung from his back and he gracefully jumped up toward the lever, pulling it down as hard as he could and letting the loft in his feathers drop as he put his whole weight into it, finally landing on the ground with a solid crash as sand sprayed across my face.

  Margriete elbowed me, “Show off.”

  The doors lurched to life then, creaking like rusty iron as each gear scratched hard against the next, announcing our arrival in a less than secretive way. I put my hand on my stomach, feeling my insides twist their way into the heart of me, filling it with cold fear. This was the moment I had been waiting for all this time, but I was not yet ready to face whatever was beyond.

  Each gear now rested on the next, exactly the way it had in the image and the latches that had previously locked together across the middle of the gates now lifted one at a time, like unzipping a sweater. Light poured through the opening, even brighter than the light of the island itself as it beat down on us in an array of colors.

  I felt Margriete grab my hand and squeeze it as the last latch lifted from its notch and the doors slowly opened inward. At first, it was hard for my nocturnal eyes to focus, but as the lights evened, I was now struck by a scene straight from a distant dream. I hadn’t been sure what to expect, but as my eyes fell upon the golden valleys of this new world, the nerves in my stomach subsided as though dowsed in serenity.

  A part of me had thought that when we reached the gates, we had reached the end, but now it was evident that there was still more traveling to do. The golden hills rolled before us, the sky a deep blue that contrasted with the hills as a soft wind worked its way toward us, pushing over the golden grasses that grew in perfect rows across the land.

  Walking forward, the grass met me like a wave, engulfing my legs and covering all of my lower body. I put my hands out to either side, letting the strands of wheat lace into my fingers, seeds popping off as the tops became locked at my knuckles. The breeze was warm and sweet and as we passed under the arches of the gate, the world behind us disappeared, leaving nothing more than the gate itself, open to more field beyond.

  Margriete sighed, “Well, this is it.”

  I let some seeds fall from my hand, “This is what? Are we here?”

  She smiled and laughed, “Of course we’re here. We’re in the God’s land.”

  I thought for a moment as I looked around the simple landscape, “Does it have a name?”

  Sam stepped in, “Of course it has a name,” he let out a snort. “It has many names, but to you, you may better relate to the term Heaven.”

  I laughed under my breath, “So this is it huh, this is where we all go when we die?”

  Sam grunted, “Maybe, depends on what you are. Humans all make their way into some future life, or job, such as me. It all depends on who you were in your life on earth; it determines who you are now.”

  I nodded and pressed my lips together, finding the logical notion of it easy to digest. It made sense that we all worked toward a future, but that future depends on the life we had lived. “What happens to those who believe in other religions?”

  We began walking forward now, more out of habit than determination.

  “They’re all recognized here, even those that don’t include believing in anything at all. It was all part of the human project, to determine what happens when people are placed in various geographical regions of this world,” Sam continued. “All this is one big experiment and it’s true that we are all the same, or rather, we all believe in the same thing, though it’s different.” He chuckled, “If that makes sense.”

  Margriete was humming now and I looked down at my feet, finding my pants now covered in wheat dust. “I think I get what you’re saying, it’s just so hard to believe. There is so much pain and suffering that has been caused by this, all over the world.”

  Margriete stopped humming, “Well honey, that’s the test. Who you are on earth determines who you are here, your place. It’s like a giant college up there,” She pointed to the sky, “and this is real life.”

  Looking up, I found it hard to believe that we were in the center of the earth. The skies here were so clear, so believable that it was hard to think that if I flew high enough, there would be a ceiling.

  As we crested a hill, something bright caught my eye. In the distance a white tower rose from the ground but it was so far away, that it felt like no more than a dot on the horizon, somehow further than it had been on the beach, as though the island continued to grow the closer we got.

  As we worked our way through the fields, the golden wheat slowly turned to green and the terrain began to change as the soft earth gave way to rock and dirt. We dropped down a hill and the tower again disappeared on the horizon, wildflowers now dominating the view before me, reminding me of the meadow back home. The sweet swell of wheat was replaced with the smell of nectar, far more potent than I had ever smelled on Earth.

  We walked slowly over a few more hills before I was able to associate the fruity smell with that of a forest of pear trees that was now surrounding us, their fruit perfectly ripened and plump as though begging to be picked. The speed on which we changed from one season to the next was magical, like a tiny earth.

  Sam looked at the fruit with wary eyes, thoughts swimming before them like water. “It’s like the forbidden apple tree, except there are hundreds.”

  Margriete giggled, “I just hope we don’t run into Adam and Eve, I’m not into nudity in the middle of the afternoon.”

  I couldn’t help but smile as I thought of all the stories there are about forbidden fruit, the poisonous apple, the Garden of Eden. Fruit was a symbol of life, the process the world takes to grow, over and over again. When I thought I was no more than a sad abandoned orphan, I had vowed to never abandon my own children, but now it seemed I’d never be able to have children of my own and I’d never know the joys of being a mother, or the cycle of life.

  I had always figured I’d have time to think about those things, but when you know that having a baby will never happen, it’s like having an option ripped away from you before you even get the chance to know it. I was certain my eternal life and our lethal attraction would prevent Edgar and me from ever having that small joy that seemingly every other thing on earth had.

  I sighed, attracting the attention of Sam as he listened in to my thoughts. There was a look on his face of pain, a look I knew meant he was relating with me. I was certain
that seeing Jill made him think of the same things. Surely there was a day when he was young where he had dreamed of having his own offspring, of passing on his family name. I saw him glance toward Margriete, his love for her seeming to grow with each step we took.

  I was happy for them, happy that they both seemed to want to move on, to find more to this life than the suffering pasts they had observed. Life had dealt them a difficult card and I didn’t blame them. I knew how it felt to want happiness. If I could have found something to make me smile as a young child I would have welcomed it into my life with a strong embrace.

  Edgar’s face flashed across my memories. His awkward smile filled my soul with warmth and I grasped at the ring at my neck. Edgar was such a strong man though his heart was so cold, but when he looked at me, it was as though all that had changed and his heart found warmth and love. I remembered the way his face would then twist into a smile, a smile that was reserved for me alone.

  There was a movement between the trees and I quickly halted in the orchard grass, my mind losing the image. Sam had seen it too, halting just beside me and grabbing Margriete’s arm. She winced and cursed at him but Sam snatched her from her stand and twisted her into his arms where he covered her mouth with his giant hand. He narrowed his brows at her, forcefully suggesting that she stay quiet and calm.

  As we listened, the only sound was the soft wind through the trees and my chest rose and fell in measured breaths. Just as I was about to overlook the disturbance, there was another movement, followed by a young melodic round of laughter. I twisted my head in the direction of the noise, the three of us now back to back in a defensive circle.

  Something white skipped through the trees, now closer to us than before. Another giggle reverberated off the thick trunks and I felt the heat from Margriete as her blood pressure rose. She grabbed my hand as Sam grabbed hers. It was then that a small head popped out from behind the tree directly before me and I gasped, dropping Margriete’s hand and grasping my chest as my heart threatened to stop.