Ghosts of Yorkshire

by Karen Perkins

‘No.’ I try to smile. ‘No, she’s happy that whatever the episode was, it’s over and I can go home on Monday.’

  ‘That’s fantastic news!’ Lara and Jayne say together, beaming as Hannah says, ‘Yay!’ and snuggles into me.

  ‘Isn’t it?’ Lara asks, seeing right through my fake smile.

  ‘Of course it is, I just—’ I pause and take a deep breath to prevent new tears forming before admitting, ‘I don’t know how I’ll manage. All those stairs and all that work. I can barely get myself to the bathroom and back.’ I wave in the direction of the en-suite bathroom door and lose my battle with the tears.

  ‘How am I going to get around The Rookery? It could take weeks, even months before I’m fit again – my muscle strength has just, just gone.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Auntie Verity, it’s because you’ve been lying down so long. Your muscles will come back, you’ll see.’

  I smile at Hannah as she accompanies her assertion with a rather impressive bicep curl, then I glance at Lara – I know those are her words.

  ‘You heard the physio,’ she responds. ‘Walk a little further every day. Keep pushing yourself, but rest when you need to. You’re the only one who can rebuild your strength, and I know you can and will do it.’

  ‘And you’re not alone,’ Jayne adds. ‘Lara and I will be with you as much as possible, and the boys have been brilliant. I can’t wait for you to see how The Rookery looks now, you’ll be amazed.’

  I stare at them. ‘What do you mean? Have they carried on working? What have they done?’ I start to panic, my breathing becoming faster as I think about all the decisions I should have been there to make. All the plans I’d made being taken over by others. What have they done to my home? I’m struggling to take in enough air, and Hannah looks alarmed.

  ‘Calm down, Verity, and don’t worry. Everything’s okay,’ Lara says.

  ‘It looks really cool, Auntie Verity, I can’t wait for you to see it!’

  I look back at my friends and my breathing slows as trust reasserts itself at the smiles on their faces. ‘Tell me.’

  5.

  I gape at my friends in amazed wonder. Lara has overseen the build every day in between taking Hannah to school and back, and all three of them have spent every weekend there to help get things ready.

  Once my prepayment to Keighley Builders was used up, Jayne put up her own money to fund the rest, and has waited until now to ask me to sign the necessary paperwork for me to reimburse her.

  On top of that, she’s managed both builders and Lara to ensure the build will come in near or even on budget.

  ‘Vikram has been an absolute star,’ she says. ‘You owe him big time. He’s been joining us at the weekends – on his own time – to help with cleaning and buying furniture and stuff. All you have left to do is trial the toiletries to decide what to put in the guest bathrooms – and I’m afraid Lara’s ordered you quite a few to test.’

  Lara shrugs. ‘Gotta get it right – who doesn’t love those little bottles of gorgeousness when you go away? It’s such a disappointment if it’s nasty, cheap stuff.’

  I grin at Lara. ‘Quite right – we can all test them, then compare results.’ I turn my smile on Jayne. ‘Vikram seems very keen,’ I say with arched eyebrow.

  ‘He’s Aunt Jayne’s boyfriend,’ Hannah informs me. ‘And Mo is Mum’s.’

  ‘Hans!’

  ‘Well he is. You’re not very good at keeping secrets, Mum. I have eyes and ears, you know.’

  The three of us stare at Hannah, Lara’s face turning a very unflattering shade of beetroot, then Jayne and I can no longer contain our laughter.

  ‘Is William still your boyfriend, Auntie Verity?’

  I sober and we all fall silent.

  ‘No, Hannah. He’s poorly at the moment, and I don’t know what will happen, or if we’ll still be friends.’

  ‘You’re sure to be when he’s himself again,’ the child asserts. ‘Everyone says so.’

  ‘Hannah, why don’t you go and get a drink? You know where the machine is.’

  ‘Coke?’

  ‘Diet Coke. And one for me too. Would you like one, Verity?’

  Suddenly I have a monumental craving for sweet fizz. ‘Yes, please, full-strength for me though, Hannah, I haven’t had any sugar for three months!’

  She raises her eyebrows at Lara, waiting for her mother’s permission. After receiving the required nod, she looks at Jayne, who holds up a travel mug. ‘I’m okay, thanks Hans. I still have coffee.’

  She collects some coins and skips out of the room, delighted at the prospect of pop.

  ‘Now she’s gone, you two – spill. I haven’t had a chance to ask you properly. When did you and Vikram get together, Jayne? Exactly who is Mo, and how long have you been seeing him, Lara?’

  ‘Short answer, a couple of months now,’ Jayne says. ‘We’ve all been spending a lot of time both here and at your place. We just clicked.’ She waves a hand, embarrassed.

  I smile, it’s been too long since she’s been interested in a man, and Vikram is a decent one. A bit abrupt at times if I remember correctly, but then so is Jayne. They’re a good match.

  I turn my attention to Lara, my smile widening at the grin on her face.

  ‘Mo works with Vikram. He’s a tiler, in fact he’s there now, working on the en-suites.’

  ‘Tiling?’ I’m shocked. The last time I saw The Rookery, it was a building site, and I’m still struggling to fully comprehend the length of time I’ve been in hospital.

  ‘It really is nearly ready, Verity,’ Lara says, taking my hand. ‘I know it must be hard, but you’ve been here a long time. You can still open for Easter if you want to.’

  ‘Easter?’

  ‘Yes, it’s in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘Two weeks?’ I’m stunned. We only just celebrated Christmas.

  Lara squeezes my hand, and Jayne moves to sit on the bed. ‘It’ll take a while to orient yourself,’ she says, ever practical. ‘We haven’t done anything about guests yet. No advertising, and while we’ve registered you with the online booking sites, we’ve not made the listings live.’

  ‘We wanted to wait until you were home and well again,’ Lara puts in. ‘You should be the one to click those buttons.’

  ‘And we wanted to help but not take over,’ Jayne finishes.

  ‘Have we done right?’ Lara asks.

  Tears are pouring down my face, and I grasp both their hands in mine. ‘I don’t know how to thank you both,’ I manage to say. ‘I could have lost everything, have nowhere to go.’

  ‘You’ll always have somewhere to go,’ Jayne says as they both embrace me.

  ‘What’s happened?’

  Lara turns. ‘Nothing, Hans. We’ve just been telling Auntie Verity about all the work that’s been done at The Rookery. She’s only crying because she’s happy.’

  ‘Oh.’ Hannah thinks a moment. ‘If Auntie Verity’s going home, does that mean we won’t live there anymore?’

  A shaft of horror spears my heart, and I glance at Lara, then Jayne, then back again.

  ‘How am I going to manage all those stairs?’

  ‘Don’t worry, Verity, we’ve thought of that,’ Jayne says. ‘You mentioned to Vikram about having the downstairs doorways wide enough for wheelchairs and pushchairs, and we realised it would take you a while to get your strength back.’

  ‘We’ve made it a fully disabled-accessible room,’ Lara interrupts. ‘Grab handles in the bathroom, walk-in shower with a drop-down seat, all the necessary rails everywhere.’

  ‘We thought you could use it until you were strong enough to live upstairs again. You’d have everything you needed.’

  ‘What about a kitchen?’ I break in.

  Jayne continues, ‘The kitchen for guest breakfasts is all ready. You can use that for yourself too, and you can get around every area downstairs in a wheelchair if you need to.’

  ‘At least at first,’ Lara adds. ‘And when you’re ready for guests, you can send t
hem up to their rooms and maybe hire one of the local girls as chambermaid, or ...’ She pauses to wave her open palms in a gesture similar to jazz hands. ‘Or, during the Easter holidays, Hannah and I can stay in your apartment, and I can take guests up and help with their rooms.’

  Tears overwhelm me yet again. ‘I don’t know what to say,’ I gasp. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Stop doing that with your hands, Mum, it’s weird.’

  This time, Hannah is part of the group hug.

  6.

  ‘Ready?’ Lara asks.

  ‘Definitely,’ I say and smile, although I’m far from sure about it. On the one hand I can’t wait to get out of the hospital. But on the other, I’m nervous about returning to The Rookery. And my trepidation is not just about managing a three-storey guesthouse in hilly, cobblestoned Haworth while dependant on crutches and a wheelchair.

  What would I find there? And, more importantly, what would find me?

  ‘Can I push?’ Hannah asks.

  ‘Only if you’re careful and don’t go too fast.’

  ‘Okay!’ She gets behind my wheelchair, grabs the handles, and throws her weight behind her push, but I don’t budge.

  ‘You need to take the brake off, Hans. Here, now try.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum.’ She squeals as we career across the room.

  ‘Yeah, thanks Lara,’ I say, hanging on for dear life.

  ‘Don’t worry, Auntie Verity, I won’t crash you, I’m getting the hang of it!’

  ‘Oof,’ I say as my knees bang into the door. ‘Maybe let Mum get me out of the room, then you can do the straight bits.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Sorry, Verity,’ Lara whispers in my ear as she manoeuvres the chair on to a more productive course.

  ‘It’s fine,’ I say, uncontrollable laughter spilling out of me. ‘I haven’t ridden the dodgems for years!’

  ‘They’re not that easy to control, you know.’ Lara just manages to avoid another bump.

  ‘Me now!’ Hannah says.

  ‘Verity?’

  ‘Why not? This is the most fun I’ve had in months!’

  ‘Don’t encourage her, Verity. We’ve got a long walk to get out of here.’

  I clutch the armrests again, as Lara grabs the handles to help Hannah retain control and avoid us crashing into the nurses’ station.

  ‘Whoa,’ the man sitting there says. ‘Looks like you’ve got an awkward one there.’

  ‘She’s doing her best,’ Lara defends her daughter.

  The nurse smiles. ‘I meant the chair. Let’s see if I can find you a better one.’

  ‘Oh. Yes please. Thank you.’

  I don’t have to see Lara to know she’s bright red and refusing to look at Hannah. She won’t hear the end of this for a very long time.

  ‘Here, try this one. Do you need a hand transferring?’

  ‘No, I should be okay, thanks,’ I say and use one of my crutches to lever myself up to my feet, then back down to sit in the new chair.

  ‘This one’s much better, thank you!’ Hannah sings out as she pushes me – now in a straight line – down the corridor.

  Lara is strangely quiet as I hang on, and I breathe a sigh of relief when we reach the lift doors with no further mishap.

  ‘I said not so fast, Hans,’ Lara pants as she catches us up.

  ‘This isn’t an awkward one, Mum. I didn’t bump Auntie Verity into anything with this one,’ Hannah replies as the lift pings and the doors open.

  I’m face-to-face with William. His face drains of colour but he tries to smile.

  ‘Hi,’ I say.

  He nods.

  ‘Hello Verity,’ Vikram says from his position at the controls of William’s wheelchair. ‘How are you feeling?’

  They both glance at Lara and Hannah, then look back at me in my chair, trying to hold on to my crutches as well as the armrests.

  I shrug. ‘Getting there. Well, you know.’

  William nods. ‘Going home?’ he asks.

  ‘Yes, not quite sure how I’ll get on though.’ I smile and nudge the crutches. ‘You?’

  ‘Not yet.’ He lapses back into silence and the lift doors start to close.

  ‘Oops,’ Lara says and William sticks his leg out to halt the doors.

  ‘Come on, William, we’re holding them up.’

  William doesn’t look at me again as Vikram pushes him past us and we take their place in the lift.

  ‘Well, that was awkward,’ Lara says once we start our descent.

  ‘He’s still not the proper William,’ Hannah says.

  ‘What do you mean, Hans?’

  Hannah lifts her shoulders exaggeratedly then drops them again in response to her mother’s question, but remains silent.

  ***

  I remain quiet on the journey home. Lara does her best to distract me, but I can’t forget the way William’s face paled at the sight of me, nor the stilted words – I can’t call it conversation. At least I saw William rather than Harry, but who did he see? Me or Martha?

  ‘Verity.’

  I startle out of my reveries and look at Lara, then out of the window – we’re parked outside The Rookery.

  ‘Sorry, Lara, lost in thought.’

  For answer, she smiles, lays a gentle hand on my forearm, then gets out of the car and walks around to open my door and hand me my crutches.

  ‘Thanks.’ I haul myself out of the car and catch hold of Lara as one of my crutches slips on the wet cobbles.

  ‘Welcome home. What do you think?’

  I look up at the new voice. ‘Jayne, what are you doing here?’

  ‘I’ve taken a week off work so I can help you settle back in.’

  I smile at her then look up at the façade of The Rookery and freeze.

  ‘Don’t you like it?’

  ‘I told you we should have waited until she was home,’ Lara says.

  ‘It’s supposed to be a surprise – a welcome home, but if you don’t like it, we can get it redone,’ Jayne says.

  I stare at the signage, at the three rooks above the lettering. ‘Three for a funeral,’ I say.

  ‘What?’

  ‘One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a funeral.’

  ‘No Verity. It’s one for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl,’ Lara says.

  ‘I’ll google it,’ Jayne says, ever practical. ‘Come inside and sit down. I know you have to keep walking, but you’re also not supposed to overdo it.’

  ‘I thought Vikram put those pigeon spikes on all the window ledges,’ I say.

  ‘Only upstairs and the roof edge,’ Jayne says. ‘He says no birds will roost on the ground-floor window ledges, there are too many people about. Now come on, stop worrying, and come inside before you fall.’

  I force a smile on to my face.’ I can’t wait to see what you’ve done inside,’ I say as I negotiate my way up the steps and through the front door.

  ‘There’s wheelchair access at the side,’ Lara says, ‘but this is what most people will see when they come in for the first time. We wanted to give you the full effect.’

  I stop as the feeling of foreboding that overtook me outside diminishes. To my relief, the reception area is laid out exactly as I’d envisaged and arranged with the build team, with desk before me, a lounge area to my left, and open-plan dining room to my right.

  The wallpaper is a tasteful gold and pale blue pattern; classy without being chintzy, and I grin at Jayne, already looking quite at home behind the reception desk.

  Before I can speak, Lara has bustled me to the new downstairs guest room, and I sit on the bed in relief.

  ‘You look exhausted, Verity.’

  I nod. ‘That trip took a lot out of me.’

  ‘Your strength will come back.’ Lara rubs my arm in reassurance. ‘Have a rest and come back out when you’re ready. We’ve ordered you a wheelchair from Amazon, and it should arrive tomorrow, will you be all right on crutches for today?’

  ‘I’ll manage. Thanks, Lara,’ I say as she
leaves me in peace to recover, and I look round to take in the room.

  They’ve done a fantastic job, and have stuck to my visions for the décor, but it doesn’t feel quite right.

  I haven’t chosen the wallpaper or the furniture. I haven’t placed it. Nor have I chosen the curtains, bedding, carpet – even though I may well have made the same choices as my friends.

  I sigh. I’m being ungrateful and know it.

  Jayne and Lara have done an amazing job and I’m extremely lucky to have them. If they hadn’t taken it on, the build would have stopped, I’d have nowhere habitable to stay and would not be able to start renting rooms out to guests for months yet.

  I give myself a mental shake, then clump to the bathroom on my crutches. I eye the grab handles and rails with a mixture of relief and distaste; hating that I need them, yet grateful that they’re there.

  It’s only temporary.

  I turn to exit, and see rows of small toiletry bottles arranged neatly on the windowsill and shelf above the sink. The samples to test. I peek into the shower cubicle. Yep, at least a dozen bottles of shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. I giggle to myself – Lara clearly enjoyed that job!

  ***

  When I’m ready, I make my way back to Reception, where my friends are waiting for me. I give them a big grin. ‘I don’t know how to thank you both.’

  ‘Do you like it?’

  I nod. ‘It’s perfect. You even remembered what I said about wallpapers.’

  ‘Of course we did.’

  ‘It was ages ago.’

  ‘You know our Jayne,’ Lara says. ‘Never forgets anything, just files it away in that head of hers.’

  ‘And you’ve been grateful for it on more than one occasion,’ Jayne retorts as she taps a computer keyboard. ‘Ah, here we are.’ She scans the screen. ‘You might want to sit down.’

  My heart sinks. What now? But a seat is a good idea at this moment and I limp to the nearest armchair as Lara dashes around the desk to check out the screen for herself.

  I catch a look between the two women as I sit. ‘Just tell me,’ I say. ‘Whatever it is, just say it.’

  ‘Well, you’re both right. About the rooks. The modern version of the nursery rhyme is one for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, and four for a boy, and it counts the birds you see, whether magpies, rooks or crows.’