The Hard Way

by Katie Ashley

  Jason must have noticed me eyeing his mom’s behavior. He eased over to me and lowered his voice. “She’s tripping on Valium and Xanex—it’s the only way we could get her here.”

  “And a shot of PawPaw’s White Lightning,” Jonathan muttered, after the woman he’d been speaking to walked away.

  “Wait, he gave her some of that shit?” Jason questioned.

  Jonathan nodded grimly. “You were in the shower, I think. I took a spoon full, but she drank a half a cup.”

  “Fuck me,” Jason murmured as he shook his head and stared in awe at his mother. “It’s a wonder she’s even still standing after all that. PawPaw’s moonshine is some serious shit.”

  “You got that right,” I seconded. The most plastered I’d ever been was after drinking a Dixie cup of that stuff at Jake’s grandparents. After spending half the night puking my guts up, I spent the next day practically paralyzed in bed. Whatever it is, those hillbillies sure put some potent shit in there.

  The rest of the night seemed to pass in a blur of faces. Like a third brother, I stood with Jonathan and Jason greeting people. It made sense because everybody from school and even Jake’s family knew me as well. After a while, my hand started cramping up from shaking so many hands.

  It was about eight when Maddie and Pastor Dan showed up. Maddie’s dark hair was swept away from her face in a twist—making her solemn dark eyes glistening with tears stand out all the more. She was wearing a straight black dress that should’ve been demure, but to my horny teenage self, it hugged every one of her curves and showed off her fabulous legs. Just as soon as those thoughts went through my mind, I wanted to smack myself. I mean, who the hell is a horndog at his dead best friend’s wake? Deep down knowing Jake, he would have appreciated my thoughts.

  After she and Pastor Dan inched forward in the line, she caught my eye by the doorway. She smiled. “Hi Noah.”

  “Hi Maddie,” I said.

  We stood awkwardly next to each other—unsure who should make a move and what that move should be. Finally, I stepped forward and briskly hugged her.

  She stared past me to where Mrs. Nelson was weeping. “How’s she holding up?”

  I shook my head. “Not good.”

  “Poor thing,” she murmured. She turned back to Pastor Dan. “Daddy, you should go to her. Do something for her,” Maddie urged.

  “Sure honey.” He bobbed his head at me. “Excuse me, Noah.” Like me, he cut in line to go and comfort Mrs. Nelson. No one seemed to mind, or at least they weren’t going to call out a minister for line jumping.

  Across the room from Jake’s mom, tension hung heavy in the air between Avery and Presley. It looked like two rival gangs had set up territory in the room adjoining the urn. You had Avery and her fellow Ice Princesses—the girls who usually rounded out the Homecoming Court. The girls that no one for the life of them could explain how they were popular since no one liked them. Then you had Presley’s group—girls whose popularity came from being popular with the guys.

  Ironically, as much as each group were staring daggers at the other, their anger seemed to unite when Maddie entered the room. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. As Maddie embraced Mrs. Nelson, a flurry of conversation went up among the two groups.

  It was like one of those moments when people are talking about something, and you have no clue what they’re talking about. The more you hang around, the more you feel completely out of the loop, and you start to wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

  I stared as I watched these two groups of the social elite annihilate sweet, innocent, Honors program Maddie Parker with their eyes. I couldn’t imagine why they hated her for being Jake’s friend and tutor.

  I eased over close to Avery’s group—desperately trying to hear their conversation.

  “Look at her acting like she and Mrs. Nelson are united in their grief. I mean, who does she think she is?” one of the girls snapped.

  “I’ll never understand what Jake saw in her or why he wanted to be her friend. I mean, look at her—she’s so not his type!”

  “Totally pathetic.”

  Another girl nodded in agreement. “Do you remember how whenever we had a party, he always made us invite her—even though we knew Daddy’s Sweet Angel would never come?”

  Avery snorted. “Thank God she only transferred in last year. Can you imagine what it would have been like to have had to put up with Jake and her all these years?”

  What the hell? That funny feeling crept over me again like I’d missed the great secret. Jake had never mentioned anything to me about inviting Maddie to parties. But then again by senior year, I’d refused to attend most of the parties because I’d always end up plastered with some girl puking on me. Sometimes you can only have so much fun doing that.

  I inched across the room to get the opposite verdict. Maddie was talking to Mr. Nelson as the slutty girls sized her up. Once again, the issue was what Jake had seen in her.

  “I heard she was a virgin,” one of the girls hissed.

  Presley rolled her eyes. “Oh get serious, Melody. Of course she’s a virgin! That was her whole allure for Jake—the conquest. I guarantee you if he’d lived, he would’ve tapped that ass by graduation.”

  “How can you be so sure? Maddie’s one of those ultimate goody two-shoe girls.”

  “I’m surprised she doesn’t wear one of those dorky purity rings.”

  Presley’s eyed narrowed at Maddie. “Trust me girls. I know what I’m talking about. Besides, Jake could charm the panties off anyone!” She gazed around the group. “Am I right?”

  All four girls nodded in unison. It put me to wondering if Maddie was the only girl in the entire room Jake hadn’t slept with. Well, he and Avery had originally slept together, but then she’d told him she couldn’t handle a physical relationship with him. So, basically, he dated her for appearances while being serviced by other girls. I guess it was a win/win situation for both of them.

  While I half-heartedly listened to the conversations floating around me, I couldn’t help the anxious feeling in my gut. Most of the girls in Jake’s life fit into very black and white areas. But I couldn’t help worrying that with Maddie, there was some grey area. She’d seen parts of Jake that hardly anyone saw—that had to mean something. I just wondered if it meant she was her—the one who the ring belonged to. It was almost too farfetched to even wonder, let alone believe it could be real. But if the last twenty-four hours had proven anything to me, it was to expect the unexpected.

  The night wore on, and the crowd started to thin. I was going to be at the funeral home for the long haul since I’d agreed to help ‘sit up’ with Jake’s urn. It was Jake’s grandparents who had given us the idea of ‘sitting up’ with Jake. They were practically mountain people who lived way out in the boondocks up in North Georgia. I’d gone to their farm once with Jake. The further we drove along the backwoods roads, the more uncomfortable I got. I was on edge the entire weekend straining to hear banjo chords and waiting for some toothless hillbillies to come ass rape me like in that movie Deliverance.

  Anyway, Jake’s grandparents said there was a tradition back in the day where family and friends sat up all night when somebody died. I guess it made more sense when there weren’t funeral homes, and you would have felt kinda funny turning off the lights and leaving a dead body in the living room.

  Jake’s brothers were all for “sitting up”, so the rest of us decided it sounded like a good idea and a good send off.

  It was around eleven when Jake’s parents gathered their things to head home. Jason turned to me. “Hey man, Jonathan and I are gonna walk Mom and Dad out, but we’ll be right back.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  Jake’s parents had barely gotten out the front door when the shit hit the fan. It was at that moment that Avery and Presley decided the icy stares and pissed body language wasn’t cutting it anymore. They were finally going to duke it out over who was going to be Jake’s ‘unofficia
l widow’.

  Surprisingly, Avery made the first move. “I just don’t know what you’re doing staying here, Presley, unless it’s to service Jason and Jonathan during the night or some of the other guys here!”

  Presley smirked at Avery. “At least I’m in touch with my sexuality, and I could give Jake what he needed.”

  Avery jerked her chin up. “Yeah, Jake, half the school, and even some of the faculty!” she spat.

  “You bitch! You know that rumor about me and Senor Martinez is a lie!”

  “Then why did he transfer schools?”

  “Because that skanky ho Amanda Montrose gave him a blow job on Cinco De Mayo last year.”

  A shriek went up in the middle of the crowd. Amanda grabbed her purse and stalked past Avery and Presley in a huff.

  “Whatever,” Avery grumbled.

  Presley stepped forward to stand toe to toe with Avery. “Let’s get this straight once and for all. I loved Jake, and he loved me. He only dated you for appearances.”

  “No, Jake loved me.”

  “Oh yeah, then why didn’t he go to prom with you?”

  “Because I was already going with Caleb Evans.”

  “No, it’s because Jake didn’t ask you. He asked me!”

  “Yeah, so he’d be guaranteed to be screwed.”

  Their voices were getting louder. Some of the others looked at me, urging me to be referee for the fight. I sighed. “Avery, Presley, listen. Fighting like this isn’t gonna solve shit. You’re both tired and overemotional right now. The whole school knows that Jake cared for both of you, so it’s really useless to argue about it,” I said, trying to step between them.

  Presley knocked me out of the way right before Avery slapped her. Everyone, including Presley, stood motionless, in shock. It seemed Avery’s grief had completely dethawed her usual Ice Princess demeanor.

  Suddenly, Presley grabbed Jake’s urn and pressed it against her ample cleavage. “He was mine!”

  “No, he was mine!” Avery countered, grasping at the urn. The two pushed and shoved back and forth. Suddenly, the urn went flying through the air. It smashed against carpet.

  “Jesus Christ!” I yelled.

  Jake, or what was left of Jake, lay scattered along the carpet.

  Mr. Whitfield rushed into the room. “What in the hell is going on in here?” he demanded.

  Everyone refused to answer him. His eyes widened in horror. “My God, don’t you kids have any respect for the dead?” he questioned. None of us said anything. “All right, everybody out! Now!” he growled.

  Presley and Avery hung their heads in shame as they scurried from the room. I could imagine this was going to be quite the gossip tomorrow at the funeral. Of course, only Jake could manage not only to blow himself up, but to also have a catfight over his remains.

  Jonathan and Jason met me at the door. “Dude, what the hell happened?” Jason questioned.

  “A bitchfight,” I mumbled.

  “Huh?” Jonathan asked.

  “Presley and Avery were fighting over Jake, and somehow his urn was—broken.”

  They both glanced past me to where their brother’s ashes littered the floor. “Damn,” Jonathan murmured his eyes widening in shock.

  “Yeah, Mr. Whitfield isn’t too thrilled with us, so I’m not sure how well we’re gonna be able to ‘sit-up’ with Jake tonight,” I replied.

  Jason shook his head. “Well, everybody’s pretty exhausted and overwrought, so it’s probably good it got canceled.” He shuddered as he looked at Jake’s ashes. “Well, maybe not because of that.”

  I exhaled a defeated breath. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  As I strode across the parking lot, I shook my head. God, could this day get any worse? Not to mention I still had to make it through the funeral in the morning. I fought my gag reflex at the very thought.

  When I got home, the house was dark. I knew Mom had delivered two babies the night before, so she’d probably crashed early. I eased open the door in from the garage, trying to be as quiet as I could, so I wouldn’t wake her up.

  Suddenly, I heard music. Mood music. I noticed candlelight flickering in the living room.

  I skidded to a stop in the living room doorway. “Holy shit!” I cried.

  There on the couch in all their naked glory was my mom and Greg. I turned around and tried to flee, but instead, I ran face first into the antique armoire. “Fuck!” I cried.

  “Noah!” my mother screamed. With my back turned, I heard her scurry to grab the throw off the back of the couch to cover up.

  At the sound of a thump, I figured Greg had fallen off the couch. I heard him furiously throwing on his pants. As soon as I heard a zipper, I whirled around.

  “Mom, what in the hell are you doing?” I demanded, even though I was fully aware of what she was doing.

  “I-I thought you were going to be s-siting up with Jake tonight, and it was one of the few nights Greg and I were both off,” she stammered. Even through the dim light, I could see her face was flushed with embarrassment.

  “Yeah, well, sitting up turned into a fiasco, and I decided to come home.”

  I glanced over at Greg who refused to meet my gaze. I snorted. “Sorry to have interrupted. I’m going upstairs to bed now, and I promise I won’t be coming back downstairs until hell freezes over!”

  Without another word from my mother or Greg, I whirled around and stormed up the stairs. I rushed into my room and slammed the door. Slowly, I slid down the frame and into the floor.

  I fell asleep on the floor in my clothes.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The next morning I woke up to a gentle rapping at my door. “Noah, it’s eight o’clock. If you’re not up, you better get a move on, sweetie,” Mom’s muffled voice urged.

  I opened my eyes, and then I immediately snapped them shut. I couldn’t believe today was my best friend’s funeral. If that wasn’t bad enough, my mind raced with the prospect of having to sing. I covered my eyes with my arm and let the emotions wash over me.

  The events of the previous night played over and over in my mind. I couldn’t forget the image of Jake’s urn smashed on the funeral home floor. Nor could I forget the image of Mom and Greg getting busy on our couch. Damn, I loved that couch, too. Now I’d never be able to sit on it again.

  No son should ever have to imagine his mother having sex least of all see it. Yeah, I know she’s only thirty-five, and she has needs and all, but seriously. I didn’t know how I was going to look at her in the same way. I mean, all my life it’s just been the two of us against the world. I had the sneaky suspicion that Greg was hell-bent on wedging his ass into our family—our little alliance against the world.

  I slowly rolled into a sitting position and sniffed the air appreciatively. Something smelled good downstairs. My stomach growled. I decided to wait on my shower until after I got something to eat.

  When I got into the kitchen, there was quite a spread of food on the table. It wasn’t surprising that Mom had made my favorite breakfast of French Toast. I peered around the kitchen for Greg, but I didn’t see him.

  I caught her gaze and raised my eyebrows. The moment I did, pain shot through my forehead. “Ow!”

  Mom hurried over to me. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” She reached out to touch my eyebrow, but I flinched away from her. Her face fell.

  I realized right then I could continue acting like a prick because of what I’d seen last night, or I could be a little more adult about it and move on. Deep down, I knew today was gonna be a bitch, and I’d need her—you know to get through it.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  “You’ve got a cut place above your eyebrow.” The moment the words left her lips, she blushed. I knew she realized how I’d gotten the cut. It’d come from running into the armoire to escape the sexcapade in the living room.

  “Yeah, well, why don’t you fix it, Dr. Sullivan?” I said, trying to change the subject.

  She smiled weakly and nodded. Then
she hurried into the pantry for her medical kit. When she came back, she motioned for me to have a seat. I eased down in one of the kitchen chairs, and she got to work. Suddenly, I was laughing.

  Mom jerked her hand away and gave me an odd look. “What’s so funny?”

  “Remember all the times Jake got “hurt” while he was over here? I swear, there wasn’t a time he didn’t come over to play when we were little that he didn’t end up with some wimpy little cut or scrape that he needed you to ‘make better’.”

  Mom laughed. “Oh gosh, I’d forgotten all about that. As soon as he was old enough to realize I was in medical school, he was all about my healing.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think it was your healing he was interested in,” I muttered.

  “Noah!” Mom exclaimed, her face flushing again.

  “Oh come on, Mom, you know he had a huge crush on you. I swear, Jake must’ve come out of the womb a little hornball!”

  Mom shook her head. “Well, I don’t know about that. I just used to think he needed a little extra attention, you know? Being the youngest boy with two very demanding older brothers. And Mr. Nelson certainly isn’t the most caring individual—”

  “The man’s an asshole.”

  “Language, Noah,” Mom warned.

  I snorted. “You know it’s true.”

  Mom grinned. “Yes, it’s true, but I don’t want you talking like that.” When Mom touched the alcohol swab to my cut, I jumped. “Sorry sweetie.”

  “It’s okay. Just stings a little.” I would dare admit that it hurt like a bitch. Once Mom finished doctoring my eye, I fixed a heaping plate of French Toast, bacon, and eggs.

  With a pained expression on her face, Mom sat down next to me. “I’m so, so sorry I won’t be able to be with you at the funeral today, sweetie. I tried everything to get out of this C-Section, but I can’t.”

  “It’s okay,” I mumbled, through a mouthful of food.

  “Grammy will be there, and so will Uncle Mark and Aunt Eva,” she informed me.