The Hard Way

by Katie Ashley

  Alex shuffled on his feet and refused to meet my gaze. “Oh yeah, that’s right.”

  “So what the hell is going on?” I demanded.

  “I just don’t think it’s right—partying and drinking right after Jake’s funeral. There’s something kinda disrespectful about it, okay?”

  That wasn’t exactly the answer I expected from him. But I understood what he meant. Jake would have thought we were both pansy party poopers, and I’m sure if it had been me that had died, he would have been leading a full charge to the nearest beer keg.

  “Yeah, that’s okay, cuz,” I replied.

  Alex looked relieved. “So we’re cool?”

  I smiled. “We’re always cool, man.”

  “Good,” he said. He saw where his mom was waving at him. “Shit, I guess I better go. Talk to you later?”

  “Yeah sure.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The Monday following the funeral, I decided there was no time like the present to get busy, so to speak, with my detective work. I had no idea in hell how I was supposed to find her. So, I decided to start with the most likely of suspects or one of the girls who knew Jake the best.

  On and off again Girlfriend #1 Avery.

  I met her at her locker after first period. “Hey, Avery.”

  “Hi Noah,” she said, in her usual voice devoid of emotion.

  “Listen, I was wondering if I could come over this afternoon.”

  She raised her eyebrows and peered questioningly at me. Geez, I guess she thought now that Jake was dead, I was gonna start hitting on her or something.

  “To talk. Just to talk.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine. How about right after school?”

  “That’s good.”

  “Okay, see you then,” she replied and slammed her locker. She walked off down the hallway holding her head regally like a queen. I sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  The rest of the day went by in a slow haze. Maybe daze was a better word. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. We were in the home stretch towards graduation, and most of us were feeling the burn out. That coupled with Jake’s death meant we didn’t give a shit about anything anymore. I knew my college acceptance was good to go, and there wasn’t much I could do to screw it up.

  When the bell rang at the end of the day, I bolted out of my seat and practically sprinted to the parking lot. I made the familiar drive through the tree-lined suburbs of Governor’s Ridge, one of the richest areas of town. Avery lived in a house you might see on an episode of Cribs. Her parents even had one of those crazy televisions in the bathroom mirror. It was insane. She was an only child, and her dad was some multi-millionaire. I’d been to her house for parties before. But the house was most memorable to me because I’d had a pretty hot hookup there with Avery’s cousin from out of town during our February break.

  As I pulled into the driveway, the opening dum, dum music from Law and Order played in my head. I could see it flashing across the screen now: Tuesday. 3:45 PM. The home of Avery Moore.

  God, I seriously needed a life.

  After she let me in, Avery led me upstairs to her room—in the East Wing of the mansion. I couldn’t help but remember the comments Jake had made about Avery’s pageant crowns and trophies. He always teased her by calling her Honey Boo-Boo, even though Avery was the farthest thing from a redneck diva. He’d always snort back a laugh and say, “Man, the second you step in Honey Boo-Boo’s room, you’re blinded by the light radiating off the rhinestone tiaras.” Then he’d grin his wicked grin and say, “Sometimes it’s kinda sexy because you can almost catch your reflection in the trophies while you’re doing it!”

  He hadn’t been lying. Well, at least about the tiaras. From the looks of it, Avery had participated and won every single pageant imaginable since she was a toddler. One entire wall of her room was dedicated to her winnings. It was intense.

  “So what did you want to talk to me about?” Avery asked.

  “Jake.”

  “I thought so.” She sat down on the leather love-seat and motioned for me to join her. “Noah, I’m really sorry about what happened at the funeral home—you know with the urn and all.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what came over me.”

  I snorted. “I do. It was jealousy.”

  She pulled her shoulders back and then shot me a death glare. “Yes, I realize it might initially appear like jealousy, but you have to understand that I was also under a lot of stress at the time. Do you know what it’s like to love someone like Jake?”

  With a smirk, I replied, “Well, no, actually I don’t.”

  She dismissed my smartass comment with a wave of her hand. “I did love Jake. And I know he loved me…in his own way. It’s just when he died, everyone…” She glanced at me. “Every girl was fighting for a piece of him. I just wanted to protect mine.”

  “I’m not here about that night, Avery.”

  “Yeah, well I just wanted you to know that.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. Time was ticking, so I cleared my throat. “So did you guys have a special song or something?”

  She gave me an odd look. “Why do you ask?”

  “I just wondered. You know, I’m just trying to gather as many memories as I can of him,” I replied lamely. Damn, I sounded like a complete tool. Peeking up through my shroud of hair, I tried to gage whether Avery believed me. Her skeptical expression spoke volumes.

  “I’ve heard a rumor, Noah.”

  “You have?”

  “Yeah, about some things that were found in Jake’s possessions.”

  Oh shit. “And?” I prompted.

  She narrowed her eyes determinedly at me. “I want them.”

  I eased away from her since she appeared like she was ready to pounce. “Well, Avery I’m not sure they’re yours—”

  Avery stared at me in shock. “What do you mean it’s not mine? They’re pictures of me!”

  The world around me tipped and then spun at her revelation. Finally, I replied, “Wait, what?”

  Avery glanced down at her hands folded in her lap. “We were fooling around the weekend after New Year’s. I let him take some pictures—you know of me.”

  When I got what she meant, I gasped. “Um, okay.”

  “He may have deleted them, but I just want to make sure.”

  “Oh,” I replied, my chest deflating.

  “So you think you can get them for me?”

  “Yeah, um, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  She sighed with relief. “Good. The last thing I need is for them to fall into the wrong hands and end up on the internet or something.”

  “That would suck,” I said. She still hadn’t answered the song lyrics question. “So it’s a real bummer you guys didn’t have a special song—you know that meant something to the two of you.”

  Avery rolled her eyes. “I guess that’s because Jake only listened to ridiculous rap music without any deeper meaning than ‘I want to screw you nine different ways’.”

  At her totally exasperated expression, I ducked my head to avoid laughing in her face. Geez, she had such a stick up her ass that I wondered how Jake had ever managed to spend more than ten minutes with her—especially considering for the latter part of their relationship he wasn’t getting any from her. He’d respected her wishes when she’d told him she couldn’t handle a physical relationship anymore. Now that I looked back, it was probably one of the most decent things he had ever done with a girl.

  I stood up from the couch. “Yeah, I guess I better get going. I’ll get those pictures for you as soon as I can.”

  Her eyes widened as she shook her head wildly back and forth. “I don’t want to keep them. I want you to delete them!” she shrieked.

  Holding my hands up in defeat, I replied. “Okay, okay, I’ll delete them.”

  Avery exhaled noisily. “Good. I’m glad to hear we’re on the same page.” She then followed me down the winding staircase into the marble floored foyer. She smiled at me. “T
hanks Noah. You know, for being a good friend to me and Jake.”

  “Sure. And thanks for letting me come over.”

  “Yeah, anytime,” Avery said, listlessly before closing the door behind me.

  I walked to my Jeep, content in the knowledge I could cross one girl off the list.

  CHAPTER NINE

  After I left Avery’s house, I ended up back at Rolling Hills Cemetery. It was like an unseen force was drawing me there. I didn’t want to believe Jake had that kinda power from the grave, but I went anyway.

  I made the slow drive around the circle to the mausoleum. When I got out of the Jeep, I noticed someone was sitting on the grass in front of the building.

  It was Maddie.

  At the sound of someone behind her, she sighed. “Daddy, I said I’d call you when I was ready to come home.”

  “Um, it’s Noah,” I muttered.

  She whirled around, her face flushing a little. “Oh, I thought you were my dad.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “I didn’t expect anyone to be here.”

  “Yeah, me either,” I admitted.

  She nodded and motioned for me to have a seat on the grass next to her. I eased down and stared at the vault holding Jake’s remains.

  “Hey, I didn’t tell you how great you sounded the other day at the funeral. That song was really beautiful,” I said.

  She smiled. “Thanks. You sounded great, too.”

  “Yeah, I guess Free Bird was an odd choice of a funeral song, but—”

  “It was Jake’s favorite,” she murmured. “It was exactly what he would have wanted.”

  I flicked a random blade of grass with my finger. “Maddie, I’m trying to understand all this stuff that’s been going on. You know, the ‘two Jakes’.”

  She nodded. “He had a hard time with it, too.”

  “He did?” I asked.

  “Of course he did. Don’t you know how hard it was to be two people? The guy everyone expected him to be and the guy he really was deep down?”

  It felt kinda strange to be having this conversation with Maddie about my best friend, but there was a part of me that was desperate for answers.

  Finally, I shook my head. “But he shouldn’t have felt that way,” I protested.

  “Why do you think so?”

  When I didn’t respond, Maddie sighed. “He was looking forward to graduation you know.”

  “Yeah, he thought college was going to be a blast.”

  “No, that’s not it at all. He was going to “come out” so speak.”

  My breath caught in my chest. “Wait, are you trying to say Jake was….gay?”

  Maddie laughed. “No, Jake wasn’t gay. I mean, he was going to truly turn over a new leaf. He had been looking forward to leaving town so he could do that. He’d even talked to his football coach about working with the volunteer organizations on campus.”

  Okay, it was one thing contemplating Jake might be gay, but it was a totally mind blowing to think he was looking forward to turning his back on partying to be a do gooder.

  “I’m sorry, but I just can’t imagine Jake doing much volunteer work,” I said.

  Maddie smiled sadly. “Well, he was.”

  “Whatever,” I mumbled. I thought talking to Maddie would give me answers, but I was starting to feel more and more confused.

  She must have sensed my confusion because she said, “You know, it was like Jake was honorable to a fault. He did everything he could to please others—even if it was misguided.”

  Seriously? Jake did things to please others? Since the moment we’d met, he’d been one of the most selfish assholes on the planet. It was me, me, me, all the time. I shook my head incredulously. “But Maddie…”

  She looked over at me. “I know what you’re going to say.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You do?”

  “To you and to everybody else, he was a jerk 90% of the time.”

  Well, I wasn’t expecting that. But it was certainly closer to the truth. “Pretty much.”

  “But to me and my family, he was a perfect gentleman 90% of the time.”

  Once again, that was totally out of character for Jake. “I just don’t get it,” I replied. I glanced back up at the vault. “I still don’t understand why he felt like he had to be two people to me.”

  “Well, think about it for a minute.”

  I sat deathly still, trying to collect my thoughts. “What I meant to say is, I was his best friend, and I don’t understand why if he could be that way with you and your parents, then why in the he-,” I caught myself as Maddie arched an eyebrow at me. “the heck, he couldn’t be real with me.”

  “Maybe he was real with you, and you just didn’t realize it.”

  “Huh?”

  “In all the years that you guys were friends, you’re telling me you never saw a different side to him?”

  I closed my eyes in thought. My mind whirled in a mosaic of colorful memories. I thought about the camping trip when Jake saved my life. I thought about the Father/Son camping trip in Scouts that Jake refused to go on just because I didn’t have a dad to go with me. And then I thought about the six weeks when my grandfather was sick and how he stayed by my side like a brother. How could I not see before how self-less he truly was? I mean, sure he had his epic douchebag moments, but even before he was ‘changing’ into a so-called better person, he did kindhearted things. Deep down, I guess he was a truly giving person, but I’d just been too blind to always see it.

  A knot formed in my throat. I swallowed several times before murmuring, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  Maddie smiled. “He talked about you a lot.”

  I snapped my head to stare at her. Oh, holy hell. “He did?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, all the time.”

  I didn’t respond for a few minutes as I contemplated all the wild nonsense he could have said. “What did he...say—you know about me?”

  “That you were a good guy and a good friend—too good of a friend than he sometimes deserved. Oh, and he told me the duct tape story!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Of course he did.”

  Maddie laughed. “Don’t worry, I told him what a jerk he was to do that to you.”

  I laughed. Miss Choir Priss was full of surprises. “You did?”

  “Uh, huh, and you know what he said?”

  I shook my head.

  “He said, ‘Well, I didn’t know how else to get him to be my friend’.”

  A strange burn radiated through my chest. It continued up my throat to where I choked. “Yeah, he had some issues, but he was a good friend,” I finally said.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. Maddie cleared her throat. “Um, I guess I better call my dad. He dropped me off on his way home,” she said.

  “I can give you a ride,” I suggested.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

  I held my hand out and helped her up off the grass.

  “Thanks,” she replied, with a smile.

  “No problem.”

  When I opened the Jeep door for her, I wanted to slap myself. I didn’t have a freakin’ clue what had gotten into me. I had never done that for a girl in my life. I shrugged the thought away.

  Maddie told me how to get her to house. She lived in a nice subdivision only a few streets over from where I lived.

  After I eased the Jeep behind her dad’s car, I turned to look at her.

  She smiled. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “No, problem. I was glad to do it.”

  She hesitated for a moment and then asked, “Would you like to come in for a while?”

  I don’t know what I was more surprised about. The fact she asked me in, or the fact I agreed. Seriously, I was ready to cue the music from The Twilight Zone. As Maddie walked ahead of me, I eyed her suspiciously, contemplating what kinda weird hold she had over guys. A part of me was tempted to run back to the Jeep and bail. I mean, Jake’s miraculous conversion h
appened sometime after getting involved with Pastor Dan’s rehabilitation program. Maybe he had some weird brainwashing wing, and she helped him by luring in unsuspecting teens.

  Yeah, I was losing it!

  When she breezed through the front door, Maddie called, “Hey guys, I’m home!”

  Pastor Dan poked his head out of the kitchen. “Wasn’t I supposed to pick you up? Don’t tell me you hitched or something?” he asked with a smile.

  Maddie laughed. “No Daddy, Noah gave me a ride home.”

  “Hey, Mr. Parker,” I said.

  “Hi there, Noah. Thanks for being so kind.”

  “I was glad to, sir.” Sir? Okay, something had seriously gotten in to me. I rarely if ever referred to anybody as sir. I swallowed nervously as the brainwashing cult idea flashed in my mind.

  “We’ve ordered a pizza for game night, Maddie. Noah, would you like to stay?” Mrs. Parker asked.

  I glanced over at Maddie. She nodded and smiled. “Okay, that sounds great. Just let me text my mom to let her know where I am,” I replied.

  Pastor Dan smiled. “Good, we’ll be more than happy to have you.” He looked over at Maddie. “Will you go get Josh and tell him the pizza is on its way?”

  “Sure,” she said.

  For some reason, I followed Maddie up the stairs. Maybe it was because I was afraid to be alone with Pastor Dan. Like I was afraid he’d really whip out the religious hoodoo on me if we were alone.

  When we got to the top of the landing, Maddie stopped. She turned back to me and bit her lip. “Um, Noah. There’s something I should tell you about my brother before you meet him.”

  Before she could say anything else, a kid, who looked about seven or eight, came bounding out of a room at the end of the hall. “Hey Maddie!” he cried.

  I froze in the hallway. The kid had chalky white skin, and he was bald. He couldn’t have been more than seven, so I knew he didn’t have male pattern baldness at an early age. He was sick.

  Well, I guess he wasn’t too sick because he came hurtling down the hall to us. He peered up at me. “Hi, I’m Josh!” he exclaimed, thrusting out a pale hand.