Matter of Fact: A Hockey Romance (The Hart Series Book 7)

by M. E. Carter

  “How are you holding up?”

  Ellery breathes out slowly, tightly gripping my hand. “It doesn’t tickle. It kind of feels like tiny little rips from bar work. Only instead of it being on my hands, it’s on my side.”

  “I have no idea what that means.”

  She starts to giggle but thinks better of it while there’s a man with a needle gun hovering over her. “Rips. When the callouses on your palms rip from swinging around the bar too many times.”

  “Ouch,” I say with a grimace. “That sounds painful.”

  “You get used to it after a while. Just spray some throat spray on it to take the edge off and get back to work.”

  “They make you get back up on the bars when you’re bleeding like that? Doesn’t it take forever to heal?”

  “They never really do. Unless you get lucky and have a couple of days off of that event.”

  I shake my head in awe. “And they say gymnastics isn’t a brutal sport.”

  “I’ve had some bruises that would say otherwise. Although I’ve never seen my teammates punch each other in the face either. Maybe gymnastics is a more refined brutality than say, hockey.”

  I start to respond but then she grimaces. “Hang in there, baby.”

  “Almost done.”

  Dave, our tattoo artist, was supposed to close up shop an hour ago. He was kind enough to stay open for us when I offered to pay him double. Funny how that works.

  He’s worth it though. The work is good. Damn good. The swirls of blues and purples wrap around her ribs making a beautiful background for a script font that reads “More than Enough.”

  It’s Ellery’s ode to herself. A reminder that she’s more than enough in the business world, in her personal world, and even for me.

  “Okay, all done.”

  Dave wipes a few drops of blood off the area and helps Ellery up. “I’ll cover it in a second but I figure you want to look first.”

  Ellery approaches the floor-length mirror and holds her shirt up as she moves from side to side. “It’s exactly like I wanted,” she breathes. “It’s perfect.”

  “Just like you.”

  I don’t mean to say that out loud, but it’s true. Everything about Ellery is perfection. From the light in her eyes to the kindness in her actions. Even her new sense of style is exactly as she should be. Not for me, for her.

  Dave strolls up with supplies in his hand, interrupts what somehow turned into an intimate moment. “You like it?”

  Ellery nods excitedly. “I really do. Thank you so much.”

  “Yeah, no problem.”

  Dave begins slathering Ellery’s rib with ointment and covering the new tat with some plastic to protect it while it heals. But I’m not paying attention to him. I’m too busy watching this beautiful woman as she takes in what she just did. When she looks up, we make eye contact and I feel a shift inside me.

  Staring at each other in the reflection, I have a sudden sense of peace. A knowing that Ellery is my forever. I’m not sure if I love her yet. Those feelings take time and we haven’t known each other long. But I’m getting there quickly and no matter what the future holds, I know Ellery is going to be part of it.

  It’s a huge revelation to be having inside a tattoo parlor and one I’m not ready to share yet. But someday I will. And I have a feeling that someday is coming soon.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ellery

  It’s a beautiful early October day, the sun and the humidity are low. My Halloween decorations are strung. It’s the perfect day to go into the office late.

  Or maybe it’s my post-orgasmic bliss making everything seem more vibrant than it actually is.

  I took half a day off, not because I had an appointment, but because after two months of complaining about being bored, Liam was finally cleared to work out again. He has to take it slow and still hasn’t been given the okay to get back on the ice, which he wasn’t happy about. But once those endorphins kicked into overdrive, Liam was like a starved man in all forms of physical activity. That includes any and all sexual positions he could find that didn’t put too much strain on his shoulder.

  Needless to say, I spent most of last night riding Liam good and hard. After that amount of exertion, I deserved to sleep in this morning.

  I ride the elevator to the fourth floor, feeling confident in myself and the direction my life seems to be taking. I’m proudly wearing a new outfit Lauren helped me pick out on a recent shopping excursion, my hair is spiky almost in a faux hawk but very professional, and my tattoo is still vibrant under my shirt, reminding me of the secret ink no one in the building is privy to.

  As I step off the elevator, my head held high, I wave at Brittany who is in the middle of a call. She’s the only one I greet, because she’s the only one not in the conference room. As I walk by the glass walls, it seems like the entire office is in there. I wonder if there is a meeting I didn’t know about.

  Dropping my purse in the drawer of my desk, I head back down the hall to see what’s happening. I’d hate to miss something important. My clients deserve my best.

  The mood in the conference room seems festive, but I’m not sure why. Everyone has a glass of what appears to be champagne in their hands. I suspect it’s actually sparkling cider. Mrs. Welch would never go for publicly drinking in the middle of the day.

  My co-worker Ruth quickly hands me a glass, just as Kevin’s mom clinks her glass, indicating she’s making a toast.

  “If everyone would raise their glasses, please.” The entire office complies, myself included, even though I have no idea what we’re toasting. “To Kevin, my wonderful son. May you be as happy as I was with your father.”

  Wait… what is happening? I’m so confused.

  Mrs. Welch continues. “And to Mallory. I’ve prayed for a woman like you to enter my son’s life for years. I’m so glad you’ve finally arrived, and I can’t wait to be your mother-in-law.”

  There’s no way she just said what I think she said.

  I lean to my right just slightly and sure enough, there is Kevin with a huge smile on his face and his arm around a beautiful blonde who has a matching expression. They look at each other adoringly as they absorb Mrs. Welch’s words.

  My stomach drops along with the liquid out of the glass when my hand drops to my side. Ruth looks over at me, panic in her eyes. Just like everyone in the office, she knows Kevin and I were together for years. I know she’s wondering if I’m about to make a scene. But I won’t. I just hand her the empty glass, unconcerned with the mess I just made, and back out of the doorway slowly.

  It’s been two and a half months. Two and a half months since Kevin broke up with me. That’s it. And he’s already getting married?

  I feel myself go numb as I hurry down the hall to my office and shut the door. My thoughts are swirling in a mixture of shock, outrage, disbelief, and indifference. It’s overwhelming and I’m angry with myself that Kevin’s sudden engagement stings as much as it does.

  Don’t cry, Ellery. Not here. Not in front of these people. Put on your mask. Pretend.

  I suck back tears and try hard not to think about how Mrs. Welch just insulted me in front of the entire office. Everyone knows Kevin and I were dating. Everyone knows we broke up. I was passed up for a promotion and now she basically told everyone she never thought I was good enough for him anyway. Why would she do that? Did she never like me at all? Not even a little bit?

  I race to my desk and open a file I’ve been working on trying to distract myself from the shock, but the numbers I see aren’t computing. It’s like my brain has completely shut down while every bad decision and insecurity I’ve ever had comes rushing back.

  My opinions never counting. The apartment I was talked into renting. The job I turned down. And for what? I threw my life away on a man not knowing I was never what Kevin wanted. I was a placeholder until someone better came along.

  I touch the area of my rib where the tattoo sits, trying to remind myself that I’m mor
e than enough. That Kevin doesn’t matter. And why should he? I’m happy with Liam. Liam who makes me smile and laugh and thinks I’m perfect the way I am. Liam is who I should be concentrating on. I wouldn’t trade Liam for Kevin if I had the choice.

  Still, this stings and I can’t get the scene out of my head. Mallory is her name. The woman Kevin dumped me for. Mallory with long blonde hair and a tall, lithe body. She looks like a kindergarten teacher. We are nothing alike. Is that why he didn’t want me?

  Maybe even worse is the sudden insecurity I have about my new relationship. Will Liam find someone better suited for him, too? Will she have long blonde hair he can pull when they’re in bed and he’s doing her from behind? Will her makeup be subdued and glamourous? Will she dress in silks and satins and stare at him lovingly from under his arm as he holds her? Will she be smart and less neurotic? Will she be confident and less emotionally high maintenance?

  I shake my head and blow out a breath. I have to get these irrational thoughts under control. I’m starting to spiral. I can do that later if I want. While I’m here, I will be the same hard-working employee I have always been, regardless of what anyone thinks. Mrs. Welch included.

  I dab my eyes with a tissue to get rid of any moisture that shouldn’t be there. Just in time for a knock on the door.

  It’s someone coming to check on me, I just know it. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone, but maybe if I pretend well enough, the office gossip will be how I’m completely over Kevin, not how hurt I am.

  I take a deep breath and push all the conflicting feelings I have aside.

  “Come in.”

  My voice is steady and my spine is straight. This is a good start.

  Except it’s Kevin walking through my door. That makes things harder. I want to kick him back out. To call him names and make him feel as bad as he’s made me feel. But before I can get any words to come to me, he’s sitting in the chair across from my desk.

  Hold it together, Ellery. Do not let him see you hurting.

  “I wanted to tell you myself.”

  I can feel one of my eyebrows raise. I don’t even do it on purpose but the motion seems to have a strong effect on him. Suddenly he looks nervous.

  “Then why didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t have time. My mom started planning this engagement party a couple of weeks ago so she could throw it at a moment’s notice. I guess I thought I’d have more than just a moment to tell you.”

  “You don’t even work here Kevin.”

  He shrugs. “Family business, you know?”

  I want to roll my eyes at how self-absorbed it all is. Instead, my head cocks to the side as I suddenly start to see the truth that they hid from me for longer than I realized. “She started planning weeks ago?”

  “Yeah?” It’s not a statement, it’s a question. The more nervous Kevin gets, the more the pieces of a much larger puzzle start coming together.

  “We broke up less than three months ago.”

  “Uh-huh.” His cheeks begin to redden.

  “And two months later, you were getting engaged.”

  “Okay?” He gulps. Loudly.

  I’m not sure where my strength is coming from, but the longer this conversation continues, the more questions I want the answers to.

  Clasping my hands together, I lean onto my desk. “I’m going to ask this once, Kevin, and if you respect me at all, I expect an honest answer. Were you cheating on me?”

  “No!” he shouts then looks around as if there’s someone else in here he shouldn’t be disturbing with his outburst. “No. I knew Mallory from high school and we reconnected on social media a few months ago. But I promise we didn’t start dating until after you and I broke up.”

  “Reconnected how?”

  “What?”

  I wave my hand around like he’s an idiot for not understanding my question. At this point, it’s either that, or he’s trying to pull one over on me. I’m not sure which is the lesser of two evils.

  “You said you reconnected on social media. How? Commenting on each other’s posts? A group chat? Talking back and forth with just each other?”

  He shifts in his seat as he tries to explain. “I don’t know. I guess I reached out and we just started talking and catching up.”

  “Did you flirt?”

  He puffs out a breath. “No. Of course not.”

  Somehow, I don’t believe him. “Did she know you had a girlfriend at the time?”

  “I don’t know?”

  “So you never typed the words, ‘I have a girlfriend’ in the months that you were talking?”

  “I… it was so long ago, Ellery,” he tries to argue. “I don’t remember.”

  “Well, maybe you remember this.” I lean back in my chair feeling quite confident that I finally have my answer to how our relationship went south so suddenly. “Did she send you pictures of herself? Selfies or nudes? And did you send any to her?”

  He opens his mouth and closes it a few times, then wisely chooses to keep it shut. He may not consider what he was doing the definition of cheating, but he at least knows it was wrong.

  “It all makes sense now,” I mutter to myself. Kevin, of course, thinks I’m talking to him.

  “What does?”

  “You wanted her for a very long time. Had an emotional affair to try her on for size but kept me around in case things didn’t work out with her. Then when your mother finally gave you the balls to ask her out, she said yes.” His jaw drops with my crude word use, but I don’t have it in me to care. “You waited until the last second to break up with me, just in case she changed her mind. And then you almost ran out of time, of moments, to be honest with me. That’s why you did it so suddenly. You were out of time.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  I hold up my hand to stop him. I’m tired of his excuses. “I’m pretty sure it was. In fact, I know it was. Because two months of dating before getting engaged isn’t a very long time. Unless the other person involved thinks you’ve been together for much longer.”

  He shrugs and scratches the scruff on his cheek, trying hard to bow up and gain some control over the situation again. So, when the next words come out of his mouth, I’m not all that surprised. “When you know you know.”

  After seven years, he never knew with me. I shift in my seat, reminding me of my hidden mantra— a mantra that I am clinging to.

  I am more than enough. Even if Kevin doesn’t recognize it. Even if his mother doesn’t see it at all. Even if I’m not feeling it in this moment, I am more than enough.

  Straightening my back, I make a choice to be okay. Maybe I’ll fall apart later, but for as long as I’m in the office, I will choose mind over matter. I will force myself to be the picture of perfectly fine. Even if I’m lying.

  “Well. I’m glad to know you weren’t technically cheating on me. And I’m happy you found a nice woman to date.”

  “Marry,” he clarifies quickly probably knowing I said it on purpose.

  “Yes. Sorry. To marry. I’m also dating so I suppose it makes things less awkward that we’ve both moved on.”

  “You’re… dating?”

  I bring Liam to the forefront of my mind, allowing thoughts of him to flood my brain. I almost feel guilty for using him to get in a dig at Kevin, but I can’t stop myself. The look of shock on Kevin’s face is so rewarding, I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face.

  “His name is Liam. I met him at…” I think twice about telling Kevin the name of the bar. It seems like a little hideout for Liam’s team and I don’t want to screw that up. “It doesn’t matter where I met him. What matters is that he makes me happy.”

  Kevin’s eyebrows raise ever so slightly, like he’s unsure if I’m telling him the truth. “Really.”

  “Really. We have wonderful conversations, and we like some of the same things. He’s a great cook. He even took me to a hibachi grill for our first date. I’m telling you, save up some money Kevin because it was so fun.” I rest
my chin on my fist allowing a content look to cross my face. “I never expected him to walk into my life, but here he is. And he has a cat.”

  Kevin’s eyes narrow briefly, knowing I’ve always wanted a pet and he was the only reason I never acted on it. “And what does this guy think of your new hair?”

  I’m taken aback at Kevin’s blatant ugliness. Any lingering sadness and humiliation fade away as a new emotion takes over. Anger. Anger that I spent seven years on a man who was “unsure” of me. Anger that when I begin to learn who I truly am without regard for anyone else’s opinions, it’s still not enough. Anger that I was so easily discarded for a new, blonde model. And now that I know he’s taken the gloves off, I’m ready for him to leave.

  Narrowing my eyes, I clench my jaw tight. “What about my hair?”

  “He likes it grey?”

  “It’s not grey, it’s lavender. And I don’t think he cares about the color. He likes it short, so he can nibble on the spot right here.” I touch a spot toward the back of my neck that gives me goosebumps when Liam sucks on it. It reminds me that Kevin’s opinion doesn’t matter. Liam’s doesn’t either. But I sure do like that he likes it.

  Kevin looks shocked, his mouth open but no words coming out. When there’s another knock on the door, I’m grateful for the interruption. Until I see who it is.

  “Is everything okay in here?” Mrs. Welch holds the door wide open, probably to make sure everyone within earshot can hear what’s going on. Wouldn’t want to miss Ellery breaking down, now would we?

  Too bad for her I’m not a basket case right now. Not that anyone can see with her in the way anyway.

  I flash her my brightest smile. “Yeah. Kevin was just saying hi.”

  “Oh.” She looks surprised and almost disappointed by my nonchalant demeanor. “Well dear, you have a roomful of people who still want to congratulate you on your engagement so maybe the chit-chat can happen later?”

  I don’t miss the fact that she threw his pending marriage in there for my benefit. But also, there will be no later if I have anything to say about it.

  “And I’m working on the Donnelly account so I really need to concentrate anyway,” I say with another saccharine sweet smile.