Johnny and The USed Wonz

by DaNeo Duran

  ‘You didn’t warn me,’ Tooly said.

  ‘I warned your mam.’

  ‘She could’ve done a better job passing it on.’

  Saturday 09th June 1984

  All four USed Wonz waved at Jefferson Starship’s fans who’d been fantastic.

  Off stage Stu grabbed a towel. ‘Great gig. Listen, I kinda feel like having a bit of time away tonight.’

  ‘Have you pulled?’ Mazz asked.

  ‘Something like that.’

  ‘Actually can you hang on, we need to talk?’ Christine asked.

  Stu looked agitated. ‘Not really.’

  ‘Let him go,’ Johnny said having planned his own escape to a poker table.

  ‘Fine,’ Christine snapped ruining the post-show’s afterglow. ‘If some girl’s more important than us then just go.’

  In the dressing room nobody spoke until Stu left. Mazz kissed his cheek and closed the door after him and the sound of Jefferson Starship’s Jane booming from the stage.

  Freshened and smartly dressed Johnny asked, ‘Where’s Dane?’

  ‘Busy elsewhere,’ Christine said. ‘I told him to leave us a while.’

  ‘You know we love you Johnny?’ Mazz said leaning on the door she’d just closed.

  ‘Of course, I love you girls too.’

  Christine waited for him to sit down. ‘Mazz and I think we all need to pull together to raise Linda’s money. Let’s forget about blaming Dane—’

  ‘Stop there babe,’ Johnny said his voice sounding harsh. ‘Firstly Linda is my problem and secondly Dane—’

  ‘Dane…’ Christine stopped before her emotions bubbled over. ‘Linda’s money is everyone’s problem. Stop trying to shoulder it by yourself. It’ll take all of us to recover it. And …’

  ‘And?’ Johnny asked.

  ‘And that means Dane too. He’s innocent.’

  Johnny hit the roof. Kicking the chair he yelled, ‘He can’t be. We’ve known him all of five minutes …’

  As his tirade continued, the door banged next to Mazz. She opened it enough to see through. ‘Jack?’

  ‘What’s going on in there?’ the technician asked.

  ‘Nothing, just preparing for the next album; think some shouting will sound good with synths behind it.’

  Jack stepped back. ‘Well with anger like that no American radio station will play it.’

  ‘We’ll work on that. See ya soon yeah?’

  She closed the door. Johnny shouted, ‘He’s guilty, he must be.’

  ‘Why?’ Christine’s voice matched Johnny’s intensity, ‘because there’s nobody else to blame?’

  ‘That’s right.’ Johnny stopped in his tracks.

  In the silence his expression changed. He sat down.

  ‘We can’t keep changing managers,’ Christine said.

  ‘Howie—’

  Christine touched his lips to silence him. ‘We all understood when Richard and Grace went back to England. I know we had Howie—’

  ‘He was a good manager. He wouldn’t have done this to us. But Dane—’

  ‘You don’t know that. Howie wasn’t with us five minutes either. I’m sorry I was nasty to him but he was a … sex pest. Wasn’t he Mazz?’

  Mazz nodded and Johnny didn’t argue.

  Christine’s heart raced. First stage complete, she thought. But she’d never convince him of Dane’s innocence without reframing his mind first.

  ‘You Johnny Won, you’re a bully,’ she said.

  ‘What? No I’m not. I hate bullies.’

  ‘You’re a bully, and by your own definition.’ She jabbed a finger at him.

  ‘Come off it.’

  She illustrated how Johnny had spotted weakness in Dane and persecuted him rather than supported him.

  ‘He’s not done this job before,’ she continued. ‘He was an office pleb but he’s getting good.’

  Johnny disagreed but she bowled examples and batted objections until he saw that Dane had improved.

  ‘With our help he could be a really good, loyal manager and that’s what we need now more than ever.’

  July 1974 – July 1975

  Johnny’s social tide changed. Though Liz disapproved, Graham loved hearing of Johnny’s martial arts tale which had led to his new guitar. He played the Strat through his amp and told him it would see him through plenty of gigs.

  Over the summer holidays Johnny played guitar from waking until leaving for martial arts lessons.

  He still carried his guitar during the new school term but his weirdo reputation waned, replaced by a waxing curiosity amongst his classmates. The cool lads respected him and even defended him from unjust remarks.

  One music lesson Tooly gained some strange looks when he shouted up that his mum rated Johnny as a talented guitarist.

  Mrs Brown invited Johnny to the front of the class.

  As he played one of the school’s classical guitars, he lifted his head seeing once previously hateful classmates look on with appreciation. Some of the girls even seemed moved by one piece. Already aware of martial arts as a source of protection rather than a career Johnny let his fingers skilfully find the frets feeling warmth radiate to and from the class and decided if he could make ends meet playing guitar that’s what he’d do.

  When he finished he received a round of applause. Mrs Brown congratulated him and asked whether he wrote songs. He said he hadn’t for a while but called to mind one song influenced by Miss Wilkinson.

  * * *

  Weeks on and Johnny heard rumours of girls fancying him; not that he believed them at first. Though he didn’t act on them they became substantiated. His singing apparently lay at the heart of girls’ interest. The knowledge of one song he’d sung spread through other classes and with his guitar Johnny became easily identifiable.

  Shaun, now in his last school year found Johnny and told him of a mediocre band needing a rhythm guitarist. Johnny auditioned and got the job. Soon the band’s lead guitarist left, clearly intimidated by Johnny’s ability. The band didn’t audition for another guitarist given Johnny’s broad playing styles.

  The school bands organised a Christmas concert in the assembly hall. The school even agreed to fund the hire of further equipment.

  As nervous as Johnny may have felt on the night the band’s sixteen year old female singer, whose hairstyle had gone badly wrong, felt worse.

  When they took the stage Johnny stood by his mic ready to sing backing vocals as their first song set off. He looked into the packed hall and saw Helga with Liz and Graham.

  Whilst Johnny engaged with his bandmates and audience their singer stood rigidly by her mic.

  Approaching his mic he relaxed her, supporting her voice with his. But, by the second verse she forgot the words of their thoroughly rehearsed song. She looked to Johnny.

  He took over where she’d dropped out. From then on their subsequent songs became disjointed duets with Johnny acting as her prompt.

  At the end of their set she waved and left the stage. Johnny however felt the sound of applause wrap round him like his mother’s arms. Exhilarated the sound of her voice carried from his heart, There you are; feel the love.

  Leaving the stage he passed Shaun waiting in the wings with his band.

  When Johnny wished him luck Shaun said, ‘We need to talk.’

  Johnny found his way to Helga, Liz and Graham and after receiving praise for his performance faced the stage now occupied by Shaun’s band.

  Musically Shaun did little more than thumb root notes but, unlike the quivering coward Johnny had met months earlier, the older boy had style in his performance. Johnny felt disheartened at the sense of togetherness Shaun’s band exuded.

  The band he’d been stuck with and their dizzy singer couldn’t compare to what he saw and heard in that moment.

  The freshness of his applause tarnished when Shaun’s band received greater rapture. Johnny made up his mind to experience applause again and soon.

  After the show helping carry the gea
r back to the music room’s cupboards Shaun collared him. ‘I imagined you’d be good, and you were. You carried that band.’

  ‘Yeah, well you and your band were great.’

  ‘Not that great.’

  ‘What d’you mean?’

  ‘I mean my band, which is actually the guitarist’s, was fairly good. Your band sucked.’

  ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Don’t take it the wrong way; I’m saying you were excellent. You need a better band.’

  ‘You were the one who found me it.’

  ‘Okay, but how about you and me? I fancy having a bash at singing and clearly you can sing so we could share. If we’re any good I reckon Kev’ll be up for joining us on drums.’

  * * *

  Over the Christmas holidays Johnny and Shaun jammed and wrote songs. Only then did they invite Kev to join them.

  They played him their songs one January lunchtime. Though impressed, Kev voiced reluctance at having to leave his current band.

  ‘Look,’ Shaun said, ‘this is an opportunity to be a proper band, one that could make a difference.’

  ‘Ours could if we practiced more.’

  ‘If,’ Shaun said. ‘But it’ll never happen. This is the band.’

  Eventually Kev agreed to come aboard provided he could keep playing with the other band.

  Three weeks later Shaun dropped his first band who, without bassist folded leaving Kev no choice but to commit to Shaun and Johnny.

  In February Shaun said they needed a quirky name.

  By March they had a name and gimmick. Having rejected many ideas, including Johnny and the Used Ones, they almost thought they’d never land a name until, following one particular train of ideas, arrived at Scarf Ace.

  ‘Brilliant,’ Shaun said. ‘We could wear West Ham scarves. Johnny you could wear yours like a martial arts headband. I could tie mine round the head of my bass and Kev you could wear yours like a highwayman’s mask that way we wouldn’t have to look at your ugly boat.’

  ‘Cheers Shaun.’

  ‘Or,’ Johnny said, ‘We could not wear West Ham scarves because anyone who doesn’t support them will hate us.’

  ‘Good point,’ Kev said.’

  By April they had their first gig; again at the school. They set up the school’s equipment on the hall’s stage and awaited their turn amongst the other kids’ bands.

  With three songs to perform Scarf Ace took the stage determined to decimate the competition. Johnny prayed for applause.

  He took turns singing with Shaun or joining in unison lines whilst Kev thumped beats for Shaun’s bass to lock to.

  Playing well, the applause came.

  Whilst Shaun punched the air and threw victory salutes at pupils and parents, Johnny closed his eyes feeling their sound shower him filling him with vivacity like rain on the clay of a dry riverbed. He remembered Frank who’d died almost a year previously and again his mam’s voice spoke lifting him above despair. There you are; feel the love.

  Liz and Graham agreed Scarf Ace had been the best band that night.

  Shaun couldn’t wait to do it again. ‘I’ll be failing CSEs soon so I’ll need to have something to go on to. We need to get into London.’

  ‘D’you mean, play in bars?’ Johnny asked.

  ‘Well, yeah.’

  ‘But I’m not even fifteen.’

  ‘No, but you’d pass for sixteen. We all would.’

  ‘We’d need to be eighteen at least and I’ll need an amp.’

  Shaun thought these problems could be surmounted with careful thought.

  * * *

  Remembering his birthday Liz and Graham took Johnny to Iftekhar’s restaurant. Graham bought him new strings from the American music shop and a new neck pickup which they skilfully fitted one Sunday.

  Though Scarf Ace didn’t initially play London pubs they got involved with everything locally that supported youths. Shaun’s Wem amp did the trick as did Kev’s drum kit which held together on account of his dad’s welding. Johnny managed to borrow amps but yearned for one of his own.

  * * *

  Weeks later Shaun and Kev broke for exams after which Johnny visited Shaun’s house during the holidays.

  Together they’d dial London venues and soon secured a Hope and Anchor gig.

  Needing to look older they wore suits, Johnny having paid pennies for one from Oxfam.

  On the night Kev twirled house keys on his fingers disguising the fact his mum had driven them to the gig. As the biggest Kev did the talking. Johnny wore sunglasses until they got on stage.

  The sound guy probably stopped wondering about Johnny’s age hearing his fingers talk. But even during soundchecks Johnny could tell the older bands had musical maturity that they lacked. Even the name Scarf Ace seemed puerile. They nevertheless got away with it as friends and family, including Liz and Graham, contributed to the pub’s hundred and fifty capacity. Armed with six songs their energy made up for what they lacked in experience. Scarf Ace rocked the stage if not the room. Singing with unapologetic aggression they ended their set in triumph.

  Loving it Graham himself decided to join another band.

  For Johnny the venue seemed otherworldly. Physically sober he ignored men supping pints but became emotionally intoxicated as one miniskirted lady pushing past him followed another.

  ‘We got to get another gig here,’ Johnny said to Shaun.

  Tasking Kev with that job, he reported back that the venue’s stuffed diary hadn’t a slot until the end of August.

  ‘Right,’ Shaun and Johnny agreed, ‘we need another pub like this to play.’

  Saturday 09th June 1984

  Mazz had come away from the dressing room door. She looked at Johnny with kind wide eyes and said, ‘Ten thousand dollars, seven thousand pounds; it’s more than any of us have earned in a year, but it’s manageable.’

  ‘That’s true,’ Johnny agreed grateful of Linda’s open-ended timescale. It had to be manageable.

  As individuals only Stu had family to return to. For the rest, the band’s success came down to personal survival. To be or not to be.

  Christine shook her head. ‘Let’s maintain perspective. Johnny, I know you want the money back and quick but LA’s only three weeks away. We need to quit ideas of getting all Linda’s money back before then.’

  ‘We’ll get some,’ Mazz said.

  When Johnny nodded Christine said. ‘I can’t get over Stu leaving like he did. We need to get together tomorrow and see what we come up with.’

  Johnny wanted to start earning right there and then.

  ‘Okay,’ he said thinking of his poker match. ‘We’ll leave it until tomorrow.’

  ‘Where you off?’ Christine asked.

  ‘I just want to give Linda a quick ring; keep her up to date.’

  ‘She won’t be there now,’ Christine said haughtily.

  ‘She might. Don’t give me a hard time babe.’

  Wednesday 21st April 1976 – February 1978

  One Wednesday evening, nine months and nine city gigs after Scarf Ace’s first pub gig, Johnny left Shaun’s house earlier than he might normally.

  At 5pm he stopped by a telephone box before karate.

  Unsteadily he aimed the first of a stack two pence coins at the slot and dialled a number from memory. Though he’d celebrated his now legal birthday a week earlier with Liz and Graham, he’d yearned for this day too long to ignore it.

  ‘Hello,’ a female voice said. The pips sounded. In clattered the first coin.

  ‘Miss Wilkinson?’ His voice quavered.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘It’s Johnny.’

  ‘Johnny,’ she said, ‘as in B—’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘It’s been two years.’ Her voice sounded full of emotion. ‘I gave up trying to find you.’

  ‘You did the right thing.’ The pips went and Johnny forced another coin in.

  ‘Where are you?’ she asked.

  ‘Nowhere near,’ he said picturing her
having just arrived from the guitar lesson he’d pictured so many times. ‘How are you Miss?’

  ‘Great. I’ll be Mrs soon.’

  ‘Married? Congratulations. Looks like I caught you in time.’

  ‘Oh?’

  His throat tightened. ‘Yeah, before disappearing I fantasised about this significant day.’

  ‘Did you?’ she ventured.

  ‘I hoped to be big, strong and handsome enough so that on my sixteenth birthday you’d accept my virginity.’

  ‘Goodness me,’ she said with a laugh.

  Johnny laughed too. He couldn’t imagine what she’d be thinking.

  ‘After all this time, that’s how you start a conversation?’

  ‘What better way to let you know I’m doing okay?’ he said growing bolder.

  ‘True, you sound well enough. I’m ever so flattered.’

  After some further exchanges his ex-teacher said, ‘So, how did it go down?’

  ‘What d’you mean?’

  ‘Your fantasy.’

  ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Why not? It’s your birthday. Apparently you’re miles away so it can’t hurt.’

  He illustrated his fantasy from visiting her after her guitar lesson to its passionate and sensitive end.

  After several coins, some embarrassment and nervous laughs from both ends they progressed to other subjects; his upcoming second dan karate assessment and music. Before the coins ran out she told him to be careful with his heart and virginity.

  Though he knew she’d surely said it to keep him on the line, perhaps to gain insight into his whereabouts, she’d suggested his fantasy would have been exquisite.

  What a lovely person he thought replacing the receiver and sighing.

  * * *

  Having turned sixteen he’d soon sit his CSEs and then have to consider his next step. As predicted Shaun had failed his exams.

  Rather than do an apprenticeship he’d landed a job in Greenwich Markets selling fruit and veg and had got Johnny a Saturday job there so he could save for an amp.

  He rearranged karate lessons and though initially saving money he loved the freedom cash afforded him.

  Graham’s new band played covers regularly. If Johnny couldn’t catch a lift he’d spend wages on transport to his gigs.

  Some nights Graham would invite him to the stage to play a solo. These honouree invitations elevated his status more than full sets with Scarf Ace. Stepping from the stage he found he could chat to girls with ease.

  * * *

  After failing his CSEs Johnny began working full time on the markets. At the cover Mike needed to know what Johnny intended to do with his future as Social Services always had children queuing for beds.