Johnny and The USed Wonz

by DaNeo Duran

  ‘I can change shirts pretty quick when I need.’

  ‘What about all the girls you’ve had up here?’ She patted the mattress.

  ‘Not that many.’

  ‘Plenty.’

  He pulled a face. ‘I try and keep all that hidden. Some see, some don’t. I meant what I said earlier though.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘If we weren’t in the same band.’

  That changed the mood. In that moment Christine knew Johnny really had forgiven her.

  She slapped his shoulder playfully. ‘I love the band and you too much to risk it.’

  Johnny nodded.

  But when Christine stood to leave he caught her wrist for the second time that night. This time he pulled her into him. Holding her she squeezed back, her fingertips found their way under his T-shirt’s neckline and onto ripped skin.

  Johnny let her go. She picked up her mug not looking at him but made for the door.

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ he said admiring her buttock’s as she crossed the room.

  Just before closing the door behind her she said, ‘Me too.’

  ‘Me too, what?’

  ‘If we weren’t in the same band.’

  Monday 18th June 1984

  After a weekend of big gigs and impressive T-shirt sales the band awoke intent on shipping off to the next city. First came the usual pounding of pads. Band and crew gathered round the yellow bag whilst Stu pulled sparring equipment from it.

  ‘You got any spare gloves?’ Johnny asked him.

  Stu handed him an extra pair without question.

  Regarding Dane, Johnny had taken and digested his humble pie. Though he hadn’t enjoyed the first few bites, he’d found the aftertaste sweet enough.

  Dane’s T-shirt selling drive had drawn the whole team closer helping the manager’s confidence.

  Johnny took the gloves to Dane who leant against the bus alone where he insisted Dane join their training session.

  Marshmallow-soft and prissy Dane didn’t want to put his hands in the sweaty old gloves or join the others in roughhousing. Johnny wouldn’t give up though.

  When Dane clearly didn’t enjoy holding the pads for Stu, Johnny had him team with the girls and watched Christine dressed in her oldest flea-bitten tracksuit set him up with the pads. Despite her promise not to hurt him he still flinched when her left roundhouse blasted his pad.

  Johnny figured screwing The USed Wonz over would take some balls. The man now holding the pads for Mazz blinking with every contact surely didn’t have what it took to rob them.

  Regarding balls, the guy who’d engineered the robbery either didn’t care, didn’t know or didn’t lack balls himself.

  After the session Jack, Quinn, the band and Dane brought pads and gloves back so Stu and Johnny could re-stow them in the bag. Johnny, grabbing a pair of gloves glanced up to see Christine smiling at him.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said but she didn’t reply nor move off. He smiled back but had to break eye contact when the moment became uncomfortable. Busy packing Stu didn’t seem to have noticed the exchange. Peeping a moment later he saw Christine had almost reached the motel.

  ‘All done,’ Stu said hoisting the bag on his shoulder.

  After dumping the equipment in the bus the pair waited in reception for the girls where Johnny thought about Linda wishing she could feel the same optimism The USed Wonz felt about their tour, making money and the anticipation of returning to the studio for the second album in a fortnight.

  ‘Room’s yours boys,’ Mazz said when they appeared minutes later.

  ‘You want first shower?’ Stu asked.

  ‘Nah, you go ahead. I’ll give Linda a quick ring,’ Johnny said.

  Stu may have rolled his eyes, Mazz didn’t react but Johnny didn’t fail to notice Christine’s expression fall.

  Avoiding her gaze he marched to the payphone wondering once again what her problem with Linda could be. If Johnny had forgotten that The USed Wonz success hinged on having the right team, Christine had reminded him convincing him he should get over blaming Dane for the stolen money. But reaching the phone he dialled Linda’s office never doubting her importance in the team.

  As the phone rang he cast his mind back two years when he’d learned the importance of team extensions beyond the musicians within the band.

  Saturday 28th August 1982

  On the Saturday three weeks after the Dingwalls gig Grace sat biting her fingernails in a pub round the corner from The Marquee. She’d arrived with friends expecting to find Richard waiting and ready to view The Used Wonz a second time. She looked at her watch again wondering where he could be.

  Following the Dingwalls gig, Grace had posted The Used Wonz demos to all studios previously commissioned by GMD. Though Richard never raised the subject, Grace did drop The Used Wonz into conversations over the days waiting for studio producers to come back to her.

  One rainy afternoon she returned from lunch to find Richard listening to a rock demo he claimed had the industry talking. Grace reckoned he must’ve had his ear to the wrong places and offered cynical best wishes to whichever label got lumbered with them.

  Richard claimed the band in question, Iron Oxide, possessed timeless classic values. Grace scoffed claiming they’d sell mere handfuls of records and split like his previous signings. Nevertheless she agreed to review her opinion if they proved entertaining enough on stage.

  Partly out of irony but mostly to maintain contact with The Used Wonz she invited Mazz along to a local Iron Oxide gig. When Grace and Richard showed up at The Water Rats, they met Mazz who’d brought Christine along. Richard did well to hide his surprise.

  Iron Oxide appeared to a tepid response and failed to tear up the stage. Halfway through, Grace stated the ridiculousness of the situation to the Used girls telling them they had vastly better songs and presence. Though Richard hadn’t heard her comments he suggested they’d seen enough of Iron Oxide and should leave.

  Afterwards Richard had asked Christine about her band’s intention to move to America. Unruffled she simply stated that they all wished to experience the country as musicians but had no problem working their own country first.

  Satisfied with Richard’s response Christine then said they’d been working hard and she’d love him to see The Used Wonz at The Marquee to showcase their rapid development.

  Richard had agreed but now on the night in question, Grace’s friends shrugged. With no sign of her uncle she’d phoned his house and GMD office on the off chance but he hadn’t answered.

  A week after posting the Used demos she’d taken after the Dingwall’s gig, Grace received three studio’s responses. Disappointingly the first two said they didn’t feel The Used Wonz would benefit from their production without taking them in a different direction. When the third studio said they’d recorded Richard’s last bands Grace put the phone down after advising them they’d already made other arrangements.

  When she answered her office phone the next day however, a man asked for Richard but seeing her uncle already tied to his phone she kept him on the line.

  The man, realising he must be talking to Grace, introduced himself as Austin from The Production Annex studios in Leeds; further north than Grace had ever ventured. When expressing his appreciation of the Used demo Grace suggested she call him back after hours in order to speak privately.

  By the time she’d caught a moment with the busy producer she’d studied, liked and come to admire other Production Annex recordings. During a conversation she made from her mum’s house phone she discovered Austin’s interest in The Used Wonz had been deepening the more times he listened to their demo.

  Perhaps in his northern accent or his certainty that he could develop The Used Wonz’ sound and create an album of excellence, Grace found herself speaking frankly about GMD’s current state.

  She learned and respected Austin for having declined to record their previous two bands. But, his incredulity at GMD for not yet signing The Used Wonz left
her wondering if she’d blown it. However Austin appeared fond of Richard; understanding his low confidence.

  He expressed his intention to witness a Used Wonz show for himself and after Grace talked about their casting their hypnotic spiritual charms he warned if GMD didn’t bag them soon some other label would.

  * * *

  In the pub Grace approached the end of her patience. The Used Wonz had been lucky to get a Marquee gig on Saturday night and following her proposal they’d gone to extreme lengths selling enough advanced tickets to fill the venue’s five hundred and fifty capacity despite them not even taking the headline spot.

  Used Wonz posters adorned bare walls from Camden’s markets past Oxford Street and down to Leicester Square; not to mention the innumerable flyers accompanying every sale the band members made from their market stalls.

  For Grace The Marquee meant more than the Dingwalls gig as unbeknownst to Richard, Austin had booked a train journey from Leeds.

  Having listened to Production Annex recordings repeatedly she’d convinced herself Austin and his studio would be perfect for The Used Wonz. She didn’t dare imagine Austin’s disappointment if Richard didn’t show. The Used Wonz would also be devastated given their hard work and the significance of the step they’d be making.

  She’d checked with Richard repeatedly; he said he’d be there. But Grace always feared he’d make excuses and wished she’d told him about Austin coming from Leeds.

  She put her face in her hands as her red-headed feistiness blew aside her tolerance.

  ‘I’ve had it with him,’ she said to her friends’ shocked faces. ‘What’s the point of a record company if it doesn’t record?’

  Grace mistook her friends’ head shakes as indication they couldn’t fathom the point of such a record company either.

  ‘Monday – and I’m looking for another job …’ Grace continued, ignoring both friends now shaking their heads in alarm, ‘… and the minute I find one I’m out …’ One friend grabbed her hands but she ploughed on, ‘… Never mind a month’s notice-Richard! How long’ve you been there?’

  ‘Sorry I’m late Love,’ he said looking casual in jeans and short sleeve shirt. He held his hands up. ‘I thought I’d pick you up but just missed you.’

  ‘We left ages ago,’ Grace said shooting an expression at her friends.

  ‘I know. You’re mum made me a cuppa.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.’

  Grace sighed. ‘It’s okay you’re here now.’

  ‘Are you looking for a new job?’

  ‘Who me?’ she said snatching her brain’s first thought. ‘I’m not looking; a friend of ours fell out with her boss. She’s walked out yesterday.’

  * * *

  She couldn’t be sure Richard had believed her but he maintained comparatively high spirits. At the door of The Marquee her friends distracted him so she could check the guest list. Austin had already arrived. She hoped her proximity to Richard would be enough for him to recognise her.

  No sooner had Richard ventured to the bar than a stranger collared her.

  ‘Grace?’

  She turned seeing a tall man with a face younger than she could’ve imagined.

  ‘I saw you with Richard,’ he said in a northern accent.

  Austin appeared as friendly in the flesh as he had done over the phone.

  She’d become concerned that the pair’s conspiring might leave Richard feeling undermined. Fortunately Austin said he’d show face after the band played making out he’d come along off his own bat. Relieved Grace watched Austin recede alone into the crowd.

  She returned to the company of her uncle and friends before heading backstage where a doorman who’d been told to expect her permitted her access.

  At first Grace could only stand within the dressing room’s palpable energy. Whilst Christine blacked up the boys’ eyes they debated whether rock stars should keep their shirts on during performances. Against the majority’s view Johnny said his would stay on.

  Mazz comically ranted about Christine’s insistence of provocative dressing.

  ‘So I dress provocatively,’ Mazz said. ‘But then she complains.’

  ‘You’ve got to retain some elegance,’ Christine retorted.

  ‘I retain more than you,’ she said pointing out Christine’s near non-existent dress. ‘Where’s your dignity? How many inches did you chop off that hemline?’

  ‘Alright,’ Johnny said laughing and bringing order to the group.

  Grace had to butt in. ‘Austin; I’ve just met him.’

  ‘He’s here?’ Stu asked.

  Grace had lent The Used Wonz the best Production Annex recordings earlier in the month; another excuse to maintain connection and the band’s interest.

  ‘He’s here and wants to meet you afterwards.’

  That stopped the banter.

  Through the door they heard the first band begin its set.

  ‘So,’ Grace said, ‘all being well with Richard and Austin, we’ll meet afterwards for a chat.’

  The band nodded nervously.

  ‘I’d better get back they’ll be wondering where I am,’ Grace said wishing them the best of luck for their set.

  Passing through the capacity crowd Grace saw Austin and gave a nod before taking her place with Richard and friends.

  After a while the first band announced their final song and soon left.

  Sensing the crowd’s prickling anticipation, she guessed The Used Wonz must have succeeded in endeavouring to dominate ticket sales. Unable to see through outpointing stage lighting she wondered when they’d appear. As minutes dragged the crowd grew restless but Grace thought Richard looked fed-up.

  Finally she caught a glimpse of an outline on stage and then from out of the darkness Johnny’s voice came.

  ‘People of London …’

  The crowd noise went exponential. Please be good tonight, Grace thought thinking of Austin.

  ‘… this town – just gets better and better!’

  From the back of the stage four rapid hi hat beats preceded a supernova of light and sound.

  The band appeared in hyper-real incandescence as instead of warming into their set they burned from beat one, all voices in harmony singing, ’This town, just gets better and better and better.’

  The never-before-heard song felt as familiar as any Grace had ever heard.

  Following the intro chorus Johnny stood by Mazz grinding out a melodic riff before, spinning like a dancer, he crossed the stage to Christine. He leaned over her keyboards and she, leaning too, touched her forehead to his.

  The audience volume dropped with the band’s allowing Johnny to sing the verse. His voice penetrated Grace as surely as it would everyone else.

  Zeroed on his performance the subtlest of expression changes, a smile or tightening of eyebrows deepened her emotions diminishing their spiritual proximity. Though it felt the band played solely for her, she felt Richard and Austin must surely be experiencing similar enrapture.

  Following verse1 Johnny addressed the crowd. ‘You know how it goes …’

  Grace and the entire venue joined the chorus which until moments earlier had been virgin to their ears.

  ‘This town, just gets better and better and better.’

  Following that powerhouse of a song The Used Wonz sustained their verve with seasoned songs but Grace couldn’t believe it when they introduced a second brand new song.

  Maintaining their grip of the audience the band drew everyone deeper still. The song’s arrangement broke down leaving Johnny singing, ‘Tonight, there’s no you and no me, there’s just us, just us.’

  He repeated the line and then kept singing the second part of the line, just us, over and over until the room joined in. The band harmonised and kept on whilst Johnny chanted the importance of being us.

  Tribal drums and instrumental stabs lifted the song to a play out chorus. Grace jumped up and down with the crowd. Snatching a look she sa
w Richard still appeared dignified amongst the craziness surrounding him. His expression gave little away as to his feelings until she realised The Used Wonz had transfixed him. She guessed he’d be beaming internally.

  At the apex of the play-out’s excitement Austin came out from hiding. He couldn’t have picked a better moment. Surprised and delighted Richard shook his hand before they returned their attention to the stage as Johnny announced their final song.

  Fifteen minutes and two encores later Grace’s two friends left with a mass of others.

  * * *

  At the back with her uncle and the producer Grace spared the briefest of sympathy for the last band left with a smattering of spent individuals to play to.

  ‘That was quite a show,’ Austin said.

  ‘They played two new songs,’ Grace said before stepping away when Richard frowned. She left them to it but couldn’t pretend not to listen.

  Richard said to Austin, ‘Grace’s right, the keyboard player said they’d be worth checking out again.’

  Austin explained he’d received the demo and felt they’d make a good project. ‘But they’re not signed?’

  ‘Not yet,’ Richard said. ‘Perhaps we should have a chat.’

  ‘We’re chatting now. I’d like to meet them. I mean, you’re not going to tell me you don’t want to sign them after that show are you?’

  Richard sighed. ‘GMD isn’t so flush at the moment.’

  ‘I guessed as much. When Grace mentioned your hesitancy I looked into your last two signings.’

  ‘I don’t wanna think about them,’ Richard grumbled. ‘This lot though, they’re very different from anything GMD’s had on its books.’

  ‘Fair enough, but the industry’s changing.’

  Richard didn’t speak.

  Austin said, ‘Let me ask you outright, is GMD going out of business?’

  Richard laughed. ‘No. No but, it’s pointing in that direction.’

  ‘I have a couple of ideas. Let’s get to know the band properly and see if we both like them and think they’re good for the long haul.’

  ‘If you’ve got ideas, I’m all ears.’

  ‘Okay well you’ve seen The Production Annex, you know it’s nothing much to brag about?’

  ‘I guess. I hear the spectacular recordings though.’

  ‘Cheers, but the point is it’s a small enterprise that’s doing okay. I can’t believe The Used Wonz aren’t signed. Someone’s gonna pick them up and that’ll mean me missing out on recording them.’