Mistakes

by A. M. Hayward

  He held his hand out to me, which I grabbed eagerly. I couldn’t help but want to touch him. This was all so unreal. I was a nobody, and yet here I was with this handsome stranger, kissing him in a dark room. Aimee was going to have a fit.

  As we walked, he turned to me, gave my hand a small squeeze, and asked, “I would really like to see you again. Do you think you might want to go out for coffee sometime?”

  I tried to rein in my emotions. I didn’t want to be that giggly little eighteen-year-old who jumped for joy over the silliest things, but I couldn’t stop myself. I gushed, “Oh, my God…Yes. I would love to go out with you sometime.”

  “Can I have your number then?” he asked in an amused voice.

  Oh, God, he must think I’m so stupid. “Sure,” I stammered, the color rising in my cheeks. I tried to hide it by looking down and digging into my purse for my phone.

  “Here, program in your number,” he said, handing me what looked to be a new high-tech phone.

  I did as he asked, mentally shooting myself in the process. I wondered if he would actually call me, but I had to hope that he might.

  We were back in the party room all too quickly, and everything was once again back to the hustle and bustle. Jack seemed to want to linger in the shadows with me a bit longer, and I was happy to comply.

  “I guess we have to get back out there.” He looked at the crowd of people in front of us laughing and having a good time then turned to me with a smile. “I’ll call you tomorrow around four,” he said, squeezing my hand again. I was shocked and dazed. This had to be a dream. Then he added, sounding not so sure of himself, “If that is okay with you?” He locked eyes with me, and once again, I felt the heat of this gaze.

  “I’ll be waiting for you. I promise,”I stated with complete truthfulness. Nothing would keep me from answering that phone tomorrow.

  With one last kiss on the back of my hand, he headed off into the party without me. I was alone once again, but rather than being lonely, my body was buzzing with excitement. I felt that in this brief moment, I might actually belong here.

  My heart ached for him, but my mind began to wonder if it was even real. These things just didn’t happen to girls like me in real life. I was the wallflower, content with blending into the background.

  “Hey! There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What happened to not leaving the other person alone?”

  Aimee looked pissed. I was going to have to do some major ass kissing to get back in her good graces, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

  I had met my prince charming, and he thought I was beautiful.

  After telling Aimee all about my adventures, I went back to hiding in her shadow, but this time I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I pushed aside the nagging thought that he’d left me the minute we got back to the party.

  The rest of the night was a blur, andI wound up scanning the crowd repeatedly for him. I was pathetic, willing to take anything he would give me. I just couldn’t help myself. He was everything I wanted, and I was quickly becoming obsessed with knowing all I could about him. Oh, God, I was turning into one of the stalkers, wasn’t I? I needed to snap out of this, now.

  As far as I was concerned, the party was over for me; I had met my prince.Aimee, on the other hand, was still flitting and flirting with as many partygoers as she could reach. True to our lie to my parents, we did take a few pictures, but most of the time I just kept looking for him.

  “Would you stop with the obsessing?” Aimee barked from beside me. “Even if he’s here, you’re going to scare him off with all your stalking. Haven’t you ever heard of playing it cool?” Damn, now she even thought I was a stalker.

  “Like I have any idea what I’m doing. He was just so wonderful,” I said, trying to plead my case, but I knew it was useless. I could only laugh at myself.

  “Yeah, yeah. Mr. Wonderful was a dream, so why is it again that he left you standing at the door? That part of your story just doesn’t make sense,”she questioned, and I must admit, even though I’d been thinking the very same thing only moments before, it still hurt hearing it out loud.

  “Maybe he was leaving. He was nice enough to help me find my way back to the party, and he did promise to call me tomorrow.” I was desperately grasping at straws. I knew in my heart that what she was saying was right. It made me feel horrible to be cast aside, but I had to remind myself he didn’t bring me here. He probably had family or friends to get back to, just as I did.

  “Whatever. I just don’t want you to make a fool out of yourself.”

  Luckily Aimee let the subject drop, and I tried to make my stalking less obvious. It became easier as the night dragged on, and I began to lose faith that I would see him again. I stayed silent while Aimee and her friends continued to talk. I followed along after her, but that uneasy feeling was back.

  As Aimee was laughing and carrying on with a group of girls, I decided that I would take some time to rest on a nearby stool. I motioned to her where I would be sitting and she frowned, but nodded. My feet were killing me. How did women wear these types of shoes all day? I reached down to unbuckle the leather strap when I heard his satin voice. I quickly looked up to see him laughing with a group of other men. They were drinking, andit was all too clear they were out to have a great time. At least he was with friends and having fun. It also made me feel better he wasn’t with another woman.

  I knew I wouldn’t be able to speak to him again tonight. It was clear he was busy. I looked over at Aimee and she was laughing with a group of girls, looking like she was having fun. I, on the other hand, was tired and lonely, sitting on my own. Sighing internally, it became clear that everyone was having fun except me. I just didn’t fit in here and doubted I ever would. My parents were right when they said that someone in my social class shouldn’t try to be something they weren’t, but understanding it didn’t stop the tears from forming.

  I didn’t want anyone to see me getting upset and figured it was time for some fresh air. I rose quickly and got Aimee’s attention. I didn’t want to leave again without her knowing where I was.

  She came over to me and grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, trying to give her my best smile. I didn’t want to ruin her night. “I’ll be right outside by the front doors. When you’re ready to go, you can find me there.” She looked at me as if she wanted to argue, but I gave her another small smile. “I’m fine.” I gave her hand a small squeeze. “Go, enjoy yourself. I just need some fresh air.”

  She didn’t look entirely convinced, but agreed. “I won’t be too long, okay?” With that, she smiled and raced back to her other friends.

  As I turned to leave, I just had to look at him one last time and found him looking right at me with a worried look on his face. I gave him a small smile, and he winked at me and smiled back before turning back to his friends.

  I was grinning widely as I glanced over toward Aimee. She stared at me and then turned to see who I was smiling at. Her eyes got wide as saucers, and she looked panicked as she excused herself and rushed over to me, grabbing my hand and pushing me out of the room. Then she gripped my arm tightly and pulled me toward the exit.

  “We’re leaving,” she said in a tone I didn’t recognize.

  “What’s going on?” I complained, tugging my arm away. She didn’t answer me but just kept dragging me along. “Aimee!” I yelled, “What’s going on with you?”

  She didn’t stop until we came upon our limo driver leaning against the back of our car. He was smoking a cigarette and quickly threw it away when he saw us sprinting toward him.

  “Ma’am, will you be leaving so soon?”he asked as he opened the back door for us.

  “Yes. We’re leaving now,” she snapped. The startled look on his face was enough to show he was surprised by her behavior. Finally, he shu
t the door, and we were alone.

  “What has gotten into you?” I said, completely puzzled.

  “Please tell me that Jack Duvalt wasn’t the man you met.” I nodded, even more bewildered. “Good lord. Maddy, you have no idea about him. He’s not a good guy.”

  “He seemed like a gentleman to me.” I didn’t want her to say anything bad about him. “How do you even know him anyway?” I retorted.

  “He’s the biggest playboy in all of Dallas/Fort Worth, hell, probably in Texas, and that’s saying a lot with all the testosterone-filled cowboys we have. He’s slept his way through Richland Prep and most of Grace Prep.” She eyed me suspiciously. “And before you ask, the answer is ‘no,’ I’ve never slept with him. I have higher standards.”

  “You’re just listening to idle gossip. Sounds to me like you’re jealous he didn’t want to sleep with you,”I seethed.

  Aimee looked furious. “You can think what you like, Maddy, but he’s not a nice person.”

  “Well, he was nice to me.” The guy I’d just met didn’t match with the one she was describing. “Are you sure you have the right person?”

  “Oh, I’m positive,” she said with a little snort.

  “I’m not sure I believe you. He was such a gentleman,” I said again, starting to get annoyed. Of course, she had it wrong. He wasn’t like that; I was sure of it.

  “Fine. You live in your little fantasy world. But mark my words.” she pointed a finger at me and raised her voice, “If you pursue this, he’s going to hurt you.”

  I raised my chin. I was angry now and turned to look out the window before I said something I’d regret. We’d had a connection. She wasn’t there, so how could she know? I felt it. I knew it. He was so nice; she had to have it wrong. When it became clear that I wasn’t going to listen to her lecture, she huffed and also looked out her window as the limo drove us home in tense silence.

  I hoped he’d call me tomorrow. If he wanted me, I would take what I could get. I really wanted him to kiss me again. As I thought about his soft lips and his tender touches, a small smile pulled at the corners of my mouth.

  My nerves were on edge as I endlessly stared at the clock. I didn’t think I slept, and I knew I didn’t eat. The world seemed to ebb and flow with the ringing of the phone.

  I had come to the conclusion late in the night that if he called at four like he promised, then I would never mention what Aimee had said and make my own judgment. I still couldn’t believe he was a playboy. If he was, surely he would have had women all over him, but instead he was just with a big group of guys.

  Still, despite what I’d said to her in the car, Aimee wasn’t the jealous type, and she’d never lied to me. No, I had to stop second-guessing myself. He was very nice and polite, and Aimee probably believed the rumors were true, but it was most likely started because he broke some girl’s heart, and she wanted to get revenge. The girls in her circle loved to gossip.

  When I thought about what he had said about wanting to meet someone real, I had to believe that he was different from the person Aimee believed him to be. Maybe he had been a player in the past, but the man I met was ready for a real relationship.

  So here I sat, staring at my cell phone, anxiously waiting for the clock to move. Only three more minutes. I wasn’t sure if I could last that long. My stomach was in knots, and I jumped when I heard a knock at the door.

  “Sweetheart? Are you in there?” I looked up as my mom opened the door.

  “Yeah, mom. Just surfing the net and doing some homework.” I tried to sound nonchalant. I don’t think it worked.

  She walked over to my bed and straightened out the pillows, “I was just wondering how last night went. You haven’t talked much about it. Did you have fun?”

  I could hear the underlying question. She wanted to know if anyone was rude to me. I remembered the girls in the restroom with a cringe but decided not to tell her about that. “It was great. I had a wonderful time. We met some very important people.”

  I secretly glanced at the clock. He had one more minute.

  “I’m so glad you had a good time. I called Aimee’s mom and asked her to email the pictures she took of you and Aimee. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you all dressed up.”

  Just as I was about to respond,my phone vibrated, and time seemed to stop. My heart jumped out of my chest as I reached for the phone and saw that the number was unlisted. “Hey, Mom, I need to take this. It’s about homework.”

  “Sure, honey. Come down for dinner later, and we can talk more about the party,”she said as she left.

  I waited for her to close the door before I answered the phone with a breathy, “Hello?”

  The voice on the other end caused my heart to flutter. “I hope this is the beautiful girl I met at the ball last night.”

  I giggled. “Yes, this is Maddy. Is this Jack?” I couldn’t think of anything witty or sexy to say in return, and I scolded myself for being so obvious.

  “Well, I hope you didn’t meet anyone else there. You didn’t, did you, Maddy?” His voice was soft but with a hint of amusement.

  I figured I’d play along. “Now let’s see. I did meet John out by the swimming pool, and Mick next to the stairs, so really, this could be anyone.”

  My joke was met with silence.

  “Hm…I guess I had you pegged wrong. I thought I was talking to the sweet, innocent girl with whom I shared a remarkable kiss on Saturday night, but if you’re just stringing me along as one of your boy toys, I guess I’ll let you go.”

  He sounded really sad, and I felt so stupid.

  “I’m sorry about that,” I said with a trembling voice. “I was trying to be funny, but maybe I should just stick to the plan and be my usual plain and boring self.”

  “My dear, Maddy, there is nothing plain or boring about you. I wasn’t kidding when I said you took my breath away. I had wanted to talk to you all night. You just made it easier when you slammed into me.”He chuckled.

  “Hey, I didn’t slam. It was hardly even a jolt.” I was glad that the conversation had steered back to light and cheerful. I didn’t want to mess this up again.

  We were having such a good time that I completely forgot to go down for dinner, and mom never came up to remind me, probably since I’d told her I was working on homework. The conversation flowed freely after our awkward start. I even told him a little about Aimee but nothing specific.He said he knew her, and there was a slight edge to his voice. I guess there was no love lost between those two. During our conversation, I kept listening for hints about the dangers that Aimee had warned me about, but nothing stood out.

  He seemed very interested in my life and spoke very little of himself, but what questions I did ask, he answered. His parents traveled a lot, and he spent most of his time alone with the butlers and the maids. He’d graduated from high school about four years ago, had already received a Bachelor of Science degree in business administration, and was currently studying for his master’s. He was also expected to take over his father’s business. His life was so different from mine, but he never mentioned the obvious disparity in our social status. It didn’t seem to bother him, and I silently prayed that it never would.

  After a couple of hours, he said he needed to go. Disappointment filled me. I knew we had been talking a while, but it seemed like only a few minutes. I could have talked to him all night

  “Hey, Maddy, we have a group of friends going to South Padre for Spring Break in a couple of weeks. I think your friend Aimee is going, and I would really like it if you came with her. It would be a great way for us to really get to know each other.”

  I began to shake. Was he asking me to spend a week with him on the beach? My mind was running over all the possibilities. Could I go? Where would I sleep? How would I afford it? Did he want to be with me? Could I do that? I totally forgot I
was on the phone until I heard, “Hello, Maddy. You still there? Hey, it’s no big deal. If you’re not interested, don’t stress over it.”

  I had to do something fast. I was losing him. “No. No. It’s not that. I would love to go, but I’m not sure what my parents would say.” God, I sounded so young.

  “Well, you think about it. I would really like for you to be there. We could have a good time.” The smile on my face was beginning to hurt.

  Sounding all too eager, I said, “I’ll make it happen. I swear. I really want to go with you too.”

  “Cool,” he said. “I’ll get in touch with you tomorrow with all the details.” He chuckled. “Oh, and Maddy?”

  “Yes?” I answered breathlessly.

  “Pack light,”he joked. “Bikinis don’t take up much space, you know.”

  We both laughed, and again my brain began to picture the two of us walking hand-in-hand on the beach in the moonlight.

  “Later,”he said and hung up the phone.

  I felt completely spent. I was exhausted from just a phone call.

  Then the euphoria started to dissipate, and reality came crashing down. How was I going to make this happen? My parents freaked out about me going to a party. They would never let me spend a week in South Padre.

  I wandered into the bathroom and then went down to the kitchen. I was depressed and hungry. Not a good combination. I wanted to drown my sorrows in a pint of ice cream, but I saw that one place setting remained on the table, so I sighed and went to the microwave to get my dinner.

  “Oh, Maddy! You startled me,”my father said as he walked into the kitchen. “We missed you at dinner. Did you get all your homework finished?”he asked as he reached for a beer from the refrigerator.

  “Yeah, sorry I missed it, but I was working on a project.” I hated lying, and tried to keep it brief.

  Dad sat down with me at the table. “Mom tells me you enjoyed yourself at the party last night.” He shifted a little in his chair, obviously uncomfortable. “I’m sorry we gave you such a hard time about going. What you said to me about being just as prejudice really hit me. You were right. You deserved to go to that party, and I’m glad you had a good time.”