Mistakes

by A. M. Hayward

  “You tried your hardest, niña.”

  “Please don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt Dalton. I will try harder,” I begged.

  I was numb and shaking like a leaf, but knew I had to fight for my life.”Please,” I whispered, “please listen to me. It’s not your life anymore, but you can still live. Javier is right. It isn’t so bad here.” The lies fell from my mouth with ease now. I would have told them anything. Anything to keep from seeing those horrors again. “Just listen, do what you’re told, and don’t cause trouble. As long as I’ve behaved, no one has hurt me.”

  The looks of horror on their faces only proved that I was making my point. Here I was standing in front of them, covered in Alexia’s blood, begging them to accept their new lives.

  “That’s enough, Maddy. Go sit by the wall. We will leave in a moment,” Javier said.

  I immediately complied and was relieved to use the wall as support.

  “So, ladies. What will it be? Shall you join your friend?” He went behind each woman holding the gun to the back of her head until they agreed. I sighed in relief as the last woman succumbed to her fate.

  “Very good. I’m sure we will all get along wonderfully while you’re here. I will be back in a moment to go over the rules of your stay. In the meantime, I suggest you take one more look at what lies in your future if you chose to go against me.” He pulled Alexia’s lifeless body away from the chair and threw it in front of the other women. It landed with a sickening thud.

  “Let’s go Maddy,” he beckoned with a wave of his hand.

  The door’s click sent a shock through my body. There was incredible guilt and shame about my assistance in sealing the fate of those women. I felt helpless and sick as I looked at the blood and tissue that covered the front of my body. I knew I’d been selfish. I lied to save myself. All I wanted was my mom and to go home. I needed to get out of here, but in my gut, I knew I was dead or worse.

  “Maddy, you should be proud of your efforts. You saved six lives today,” Javier said in a mockingly sweet voice.

  My thoughts betrayed me, but I kept my mouth closed. I wanted to scream and yell that I may have saved them today, but I was only prolonging their torturous death for later. We were all going to die; of that, I was sure, and because of me, only one sought the release we were all so desperate to find.

  We arrived back at my cell door, and Javier turned me around. “Mr. Dalton is going to have a fit when he sees all the blood.” He almost seemed excited about the idea.

  Sure enough, when the door opened and Dalton got a look at the front of my dress, he stood up and raced to the end of his length of chain, frantically pulling at his bindings as he screamed at Javier.

  “What the fuck did you do to her, you bastards! She’s doing everything you tell her. Why can’t you just leave her alone?” He continued to struggle as Javier ignored his ramblings and placed the heavy metal cuffs back on my wrists.

  “I’m fine, Dalton. It’s not my blood,” I said in a calm shaky voice.

  Javier turned to leave as a chuckle erupted from him. “Frankie will be back to take you to your shower. I’m sure you will be ready to get out of those clothes by then.”

  I sunk to the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs. I knew that Dalton was pacing again as I heard his chains moving around the room. An image of the dead girl’s face flashed in my mind, and I lost control. I raced to the waste bowl and vomited up what little I had in my stomach.

  “Maddy, what happened to you? Whose blood is that? I heard a gun shot?” he asked quickly.

  “Her name was Alexia, and she’s free now,” I whispered and slumped back against the wall.

  After returning from my shower with Frankie, I told Dalton what happened. I felt nothing. I was detached and emotionless, my voice flat as I recounted everything that happened.

  “I lied to them, Dalton,” I admitted. “And the scary thing is that I would do it again and again if it saved you and me from more hurt.” I couldn’t look him in the eye as I finally asked the question that had been festering in my heart since I’d returned. “Do you think I’m a bad person? Should I have let them die?”

  Dalton took a few moments before answering my question. I heard him settled on the floor in front of me. “Give me your hands please.”

  My head shot up, and I took in his look of concern. Shakily, I reached out to grab his waiting hands. They were warm and comforting.

  “You could never be a bad person. You were put in a horrible situation, and you did what you had to do to survive. Not only that, but you saved six other women. I’m very proud of you,” he said with all sincerity.

  Even though his words meant more than Javier’s when he’d said the same thing, I still scoffed and tried to pull my hands away. “Proud of me? How could you be proud of me? I gave them false hope. I led them to believe that they would be fine. All the while, I should have told them they’d entered hell.” I sniffed.

  Dalton held firmly to my hands, not letting go. He gave them a squeeze and said, “But you did give them hope, and they’re going to live another day.” I knew he was only trying to make me feel better, but I just couldn’t come to grips with the guilt in my heart. “Maddy, you have to keep living. You have to find that one thing each day that keeps you going. I know things look bleak, but every day you’re alive is another day you beat them.”

  I stared at him in awe. He was so sure of himself, and his words meant so much to me. “You know what keeps me going, each day?” he asked. “You want to know the one thing that I think about that makes me get up each day and face all this madness?”

  I knew what his answer was going to be. Even though he’d been estranged from his wife, I was sure being in this situation made him realize how much he loved her. I didn’t exactly want to sit here holding his hands while he lovingly talked about his wife, but I nodded anyway.

  “It’s you. Every day I wake up, and I’m so thankful you’re with me. As crazy as that sounds, I’ve actually enjoyed our time together.” He smiled. “I guess that’s a little selfish too, but you give me hope; you’re the one that gets me through the day.”

  I was in shock. “Don’t you miss your wife?”

  He sighed and let go of my hands. I almost cried when he turned his back to me. He had shared something very important, and I threw it back in his face.

  “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I asked that. Please forgive me. Don’t be mad.”

  He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and didn’t look at me as he said, “I should miss her, but I don’t. I actually feel guilty that I don’t. I do miss my family. I miss my house, and what I wouldn’t give to set foot in my shower again, but my wife hasn’t been my priority for some time. I’d even had my lawyer draw up divorce papers. All I had to do was sign them and get the process underway,” he sighed. “I just couldn’t go on living with her in the hope it would get better. It all seems pretty irrelevant now,” he said as he threw his hands around.

  “I’m so sorry, Dalton. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  We both sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts, and for the first time since we met, the stillness was making me crazy. “Dalton?” He didn’t answer. “You’re my special thing too. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened to me if it weren’t for you. You’re the reason I get up every day too.”

  Dalton turned back to me, and I was saddened by the tears in his eyes. “I wish we would have met under different circumstances.”

  I nodded, but knew that if our paths had crossed, we would not have even noticed each other. He was almost thirty-years-old and a married businessman. I was eighteen and still in high school. Although I found him very attractive, I would have never been brave enough to talk to him. He would have been much too intimidating.

  I giggled, and he smiled. “Yeah, I guess that wouldn�
��t have worked out so well now that I think about it.” He laughed. “But I meant what I said. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. You’re the reason I continue to breathe.”

  My heart soared, but I knew that he was speaking more of a big brother type of way. He felt compelled to protect me, and it was nice to know someone was looking out for me. “Can you tell me more about your family?” I asked to lighten the mood between us. I’d learned the trick from him, and I hoped it would help him as much as it had helped me.

  He gave me a small smile. “I see you’re on to me.” He laughed.

  I smiled back. “So tell me…what are they like?” I sat with my back against the wall. It had been a horrible morning, and we both needed a little “normalcy.”

  We spent the next few hours talking about Dalton’s family. I learned that he had a very good relationship with his parents. He’d grown up as an only child, but when he turned twenty-four, his parents adopted a five-year-old boy. His name was Philip, and he was autistic. The whole family was taken with him immediately, and Dalton’s face lit up as he told me some of the stories about the two of them getting into trouble.

  “He has a problem letting anyone near him because he’s hyper-sensitive to touch and sound, but he loves to hear people laugh. He learned early on that playing practical jokes on his big brother was a great way to throw the family into a fit of giggles.”

  “I would love to see that. Tell me about one of the jokes he played on you.”

  “One of the best was when I arrived home one day and he was all excited saying, ‘Dally! Dally! Got some cookies. Try ‘em.’ I knew something was up, but couldn’t figure out what.” He laughed again. “He pulled me over to the cookie jar.” My confusion over this part of his story must have shown in my eyes, but before I could ask about why Philip was able to pull him to the jar, he explained, “I was the only one he would touch.” He looked wistful as he continued his story. “Anyway, it turned out they were dog treats that looked just like cookies. My parents were in on it and were hiding when I came in. Needless to say, I was known as Dog Dally from then on.”

  “That’s so cute! I bet there was never a dull moment in your house.”

  “Prissy never liked him,” he said in a flat tone.

  I didn’t know whom he was talking about, but then he clarified, “The only thing my wife ever said to him was to stop drooling on her. She was just so cold. I knew then that I couldn’t stay with her.”

  “That’s horrible. Did he understand what she was saying?”

  To my surprise, Dalton broke out in a fit of laughter. “Oh, yeah, he understood. Whenever he knew she was coming over he would fill up a water bottle and follow her around the house, and when she wasn’t looking, he would squirt her in the back of the head.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at the image. “She so deserved that. Good for him.”

  “Yeah, he’s a cool kid.” Dalton nodded.

  We continued to talk until they brought our evening meal, and we both fell into silence as we ate. I jumped when Dalton finally broke the calm.

  “Thanks for asking about my family. It felt good to talk about them. I miss them. They would love to get to know you.”

  I smiled but realistically knew this would never happen. I thought about Dalton coming to my house and meeting my parents, and I smiled again. “You know what? I think my parents would like to meet you too.”

  “Someday, Maddy, we will make that happen. I will gladly walk up and shake your father’s hand and tell him how proud he should be of his daughter.” He had finished his meal, and moved to our spot in the middle of the floor. “I think I’m going to try and sleep,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”

  I placed my plate on the floor and went to the middle of the room where he was lying.

  “I didn’t mean you had to come to bed.” The way he said “bed” sent shivers down my spine. I suppose we had been “‘sleeping together” all this time, but I’d just never thought of it that way.

  My blush must have clued him in to my thoughts because he chuckled and said, “Not exactly the Ritz, but I do sleep better knowing you’re near me.”

  “I do too…with you…I mean…yeah…I’m ready for bed,” I stammered.

  We lay together hold hands, but that was enough for both of us. His touch calmed me, and before I knew it, I was falling asleep.

  “Maddy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks,” he whispered. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was thanking me for, but it didn’t matter. I would do anything to ease his pain, just as he had done with me.

  “You’re welcome,” I whispered back.

  “Buenos dias!” Javier greeted us loudly as he threw open our cell door, effectively waking both of us up with a start. I yelped, and Dalton grumbled a curse word, but we were both now wide-awake.

  “It seems you’re both ready for our very busy day, and for that I am grateful. You make my job so much easier when you comply,” he said almost giddily.

  Pulling my knees to my chest in my usual protective position, I glanced at Dalton to see if he knew what Javier was talking about. He just shrugged and yawned. I was more on edge. This was a change from our normal routine, and if my time here had taught me anything, it was that change wasn’t good. Yesterday was horrible, and today could be worse.

  Javier walked between us with a smile on his face. “Yes, we are going to have a very good day. It seems that Mr. Dalton’s family is having a bit of trouble getting the ransom money together.” He turned to face Dalton and said, “Tell me, does your family not love you very much?”

  He stood stone cold for a brief moment as his words sunk into Dalton’s brain. “You fucking ass. What do you want with me? I hope they don’t give you shit,” Dalton said, venom lacing his words.

  Javier laughed. “I see. You liking your stay here too much, no?” He turned to face me. “Does that have anything to do with Miss Maddy?” He walked over to me, bent down, and ran his fingers through my hair. I cringed, but otherwise sat still.

  “Yes, she is a good girl, isn’t she?” he mused, never taking the eerie smile off his face.

  Abruptly, he turned again, and I lowered my head to my knees. “I think Maddy’s charm has bewitched you. Whatever are you going to do when you have to leave her?” At his question, I raised my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder what Dalton would say. Neither of us had spoken of the inevitable, but we knew the day would come when I would have to leave. I was just hoping for more time.

  “Oh, come now. You must have thought about your farewell. How could you look at that face of hers and not worry about the horrors that she faces?” Javier said, and I felt sick.

  “You asshole. Shut up. She doesn’t need to hear about all of this shit. Just leave us alone!”

  Javier shook his head. “That’s not a very healthy attitude for you to have. If I didn’t think you were just being overprotective, I might have to make Miss Maddy pay for your little outburst.”

  Dalton sighed as he tried to calm himself down. “No, that won’t be necessary. I apologize for my behavior.”

  Javier seemed pleased with himself, and he walked over to stand in front of Dalton. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how tall Dalton was in comparison. He stood almost a foot taller than Javier, but even though Javier was shorter, he was all muscle. I couldn’t help but wonder who would win in a fair fight. It seemed a shame, but I was sure that I would never know the answer to that question.

  Grabbing Dalton’s chains, he reached in and took out a small key to unlock his hands. Before he could unlatch his cuffs, he said, “You’ll be a good boy, right Mr. Dalton? I really need Maddy to look her best today, and bruises just don’t sell.”

  Could it be that my time was really up? Would I be sold today? I began to cry.

  “Maddy, listen to
me. You’re going to be fine. Look at me, please,” Dalton pleaded. When I raised my head, he looked into my eyes as Javier led him out of the door. “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”

  The latching of the door was the final nail in my coffin. I flung myself onto the dirt and screamed and cried until I was hoarse. I feared those were the last words I’d ever hear Dalton say to me. I didn’t think I could handle being here without him. How would I get through a night alone?

  As my crying began to taper off, I heard keys in the lock again. I moved to sit up quickly in case it was Dalton again. When I saw only Frankie with my breakfast, I cried all over again.

  He came over to me slowly, and lay my breakfast at my feet. “Hurry up. Eat. You need to bathe.”

  It would be my first meal without Dalton, and for a brief moment I thought, Why should I? They’ve taken away my reason for living. All they can do is hurt me now.

  Frankie must have read my mind because he added, “And don’t think we won’t make your life hell if you don’t listen. There are always more painful ways to make you obey,” he said with a laugh.

  The evil gleam in his eyes made me a believer, and I quickly ate my breakfast, which by now I could no longer taste, and before I knew it, I was being hauled down the dirt floor corridor toward the bathroom. This time, instead of looking for a way out, I was looking for where they’d taken Dalton. I’d hoped I could find his footprints, but with each step I took, I realized how impossible it was. My light was gone. This was all there was.

  It all began to feel like an out-of-body experience. The walls were closing in on me, and I barely registered Frankie removing my clothes. He did his best not to touch me, but I don’t think I would have even noticed if he did. I was just numb.

  He broke through my numbness when he said, “You need to be completely shaved today, and use this soap and shampoo.” He thrust the supplies at me, and I nodded as I stepped into the shower.