Mistakes

by A. M. Hayward

  I shivered.

  He ran a finger along my chin. “However, I have convinced him that you’re still quite a beautiful creature, even if you’re now slightly used. He’s agreed to take you but at a heavy discount.”

  This was not going to end well for me. I knew that Javier was still very angry. I tried to look away, but he held my chin strong. “Oh, no, Miss Maddy. Now is not the time for being shy. I think you owe me for all the money you’ve cost me, don’t you think?”

  What could I say at this point, that would make any difference? He was going to take what he wanted, and I was powerless to stop him. Instead of fight, I just closed my eyes and nodded.

  “Such a good girl. We could have had something very special, you and me. Such a waste.”

  He pulled me closer to him and kissed me roughly. He kissed me so hard I could taste the blood coming from my lips. I didn’t move. I just waited for it to be over. His hands roamed over my body, stopping at my chest. As he angrily grabbed and pulled my breasts, I tried not to make a sound. I knew that I would have bruises tomorrow.

  As quickly as it started, he pulled away with a laugh. “Such a good girl.”

  He tugged at my shoulder. “Let’s go get you cleaned up. You smell like a pig.”

  I never saw the other women again. After my shower, I was placed in a small crate-like box. The lid was nailed shut. My hands were free, but I had a gag firmly in place again. I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible as I curled up in a ball on the floor. Light came through the slits in the wood, and every now and then I could see Javier or one of his men busily working to get things ready.

  My crate was placed on a dolly and moved into another van. As the doors shut, I knew this was it. When I got out of this crate, Madison Turner would cease to exist. I closed my eyes and tried to think of my family. I tried to pull in memories of my life. I remembered my promise to Dalton, but now that he was gone, it was futile to hold onto that promise. He was never coming for me now. Did Aimee make it? I wondered how my parents found out. They would have to know by now. I should have been home days ago. I felt sick, thinking of what they were going through. Would my mother be sad that I didn’t get to go to college? Would my dad worry that I would miss my meeting with the scholarship advisors next month?

  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about my mistakes. Why hadn’t I just listened to my parents? I was so stupid. Look what it got me.

  It took several hours before I felt the van pull to a stop and someone rolled the side door open. He seemed satisfied that I was right where I was supposed to be and closed the door again with a slam.

  Then the back doors opened, and someone pulled my crate out of the van. I heard what sounded like Russian from the men around me, and I tried to get a good look at where I was through one of the cracks. I saw flashing neon lights to my left, but couldn’t make out what it said. Then they turned the crate again, and all I saw were men’s shoes for a while until I was moving again.

  It turned again, and I saw a sign that I recognized. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but I would know the bright colors of a 7-11 sign anywhere.

  Oh, my God! Was I back in America? Maybe I could escape and get help.

  All hope came crashing down as I was thrown against the wooden crate with a jolt when the cart came to an abrupt stop.

  The crate tilted and raised, and I slid to the back as I bounced around. Stairs. A long flight of stairs with each step giving me a new bruise. Finally, I heard the squeak as the nails were pulled out of the top of my box. This was it.

  I huddled as far into the corner as I could get. A man with a thick Russian accent said, “Velcome to your new home, my pet.”

  I was perched on a chair, surrounded by bright lights, and there were people buzzing around me, touching me, applying makeup, moving a hair into place here and there. I should have cared and been excited, but all I felt was sorrow and dread. I didn’t want to be here.

  Seven days ago, I would of have loved to have been in the limelight. I would’ve relished each moment of this experience. Now, I wanted to curl up into a corner and go unnoticed. I was tired of all the interrogations, and I didn’t want to speak anymore. The only thing that kept me here was the fact that I was doing this for Maddy.

  I took a deep breath and put my own emotions aside. I had to be strong. I wasn’t going to cry. She was alive and out there, and I was going to help find her. The police had encouraged me to do this, and I just hoped it was enough.

  Mom swept a loose hair behind my ear, and I wanted to shake her off. She was driving me insane, pretending nothing had changed when, in reality, nothing would ever be the same. She was smiling and humming. What was wrong with her? This wasn’t a time for smiling!

  When the Mexican Federales found me on the side of the road, I was so relieved, I nearly passed out. They said I was exhausted and near death. I didn’t remember much. I’d been missing for two days. I remembered running, the heat, throwing up, and running some more. I remembered thinking I was going to die and the feeling of panic when I’d hear a car driving by, and then waking up in a Mexican hospital.

  Once I was awake, the Mexican officials were quick to return me to Texas. They promised to find the men and bring them to justice, but the longer it took the harder that was to believe. I had seen the reports about our kidnapping. Most of the experts said Maddy would never be found. Both the Mexican and the American officials had seen this type of thing happen many times in the small border towns that littered the Rio Grande River. People would go missing, and most were never heard from again. I was constantly being told how lucky I was, but I didn’t feel lucky. All I felt was guilt. Why me? And why hadn’t I helped Maddy escape? I should’ve tried harder to help her.

  Mom was overjoyed with my return but not for the reasons you would think. She insisted I attend party after party hosted by her friends. It seemed I was now a celebrity, and everyone wanted to hear about what I’d been through. These people were so fake. I couldn’t believe I’d been so wrapped up in that world; it made me sick. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew that toasting my return wouldn’t help us get any closer to finding Maddy, but Mom would roll her eyes and tell me I was being overly dramatic. My loving mother said, “Aimee, everyone wants to know how you got out. You finally have something to share with the world, so you’d better use this opportunity while you have it. It’s not like you’re getting any younger.”

  Little did she know that I only kept up with the pretense of her endless “media moments” because I wanted to keep our story in the forefront of everyone’s mind. There was always a fear that the news organizations would get tired of our tale and move on to the next story of the minute. I had a promise to keep, and I would find her or die trying.

  The irony of the situation was not lost on me. I’d spent the better part of my life looking for opportunities to be in the spotlight. I just didn’t want it like this—never like this. But I couldn’t cry right now. I needed to stay strong and hold it in until I was alone again. I wanted to be alone. I deserved to be alone.

  A man with a clipboard came up to me. “Miss Lancaster, two minutes till we go on the air. I need you to come with me, please.” I was grateful to get away from my mother as they brought me to the side of the studio. I noticed Mother was none too pleased, being left in the wings, but she gave me her version of a comforting smile. It was all for appearances, because you never knew who might be watching.

  I rolled my eyes over her vain attempt at being “Mother of the Year” as the man sat me in the empty chair across from the anchorwoman. As one of her handlers was fixing her makeup, she did not attempt to speak to me. A mic was clipped to the lapel of my shirt before the man left. The anchorwoman ran a hand through her hair and motioned for the makeup artist to go away. There was another man standing in front of me who was waving his arms to get our attention.

 
“We’re going live in five, four, three…” He finished the countdown silently with his fingers and pointed at us as the red light on the camera flashed on.

  “Good evening, I’m Jennifer Mackintosh and welcome to WKBB News. As you know, the towns near the Mexican American border have become very dangerous places. Kidnappings, home invasions, rapes, and drug busts are on the rise, and Mexican officials and border patrol are having an increasingly hard time getting a handle on this situation. This spring break in South Padre, three young adults from our city were the latest victims in this horrific situation. Tonight, we’re joined by Aimee Lancaster. She and two friends were kidnapped last week. She was lucky to escape and bring us her story. Good evening, Aimee.”

  “Good evening, Jennifer.” I still couldn’t believe this was going out live throughout the country. I wasn’t sure I was even up to this. They posted pictures of Maddy and me on the monitors, and my heart nearly broke in my chest. I took a shaky breath and remembered I was doing this for Maddy. I had to stay strong.

  “It’s been just over three days since you were rescued from your ordeal…” Had it been that long? It felt like only hours. “I’m sure you’re very happy to be home.”

  “Yes, very happy.” I smiled, but it was all an act. I just hoped it was convincing.

  “So let’s start from the beginning, shall we?” The blonde gave me a reassuring smile as if she could tell I was about to freeze up. I was trying so hard not to vomit. I must have looked a little green.

  “We were stupid. We should never have gone, but we thought we would be safe in a large group. I’d been there before and had no troubles, so I didn’t think it was going to be such a huge mistake.” I shut my eyes and let it all spill out. I was ashamed of how naive we’d been. “Maddy…”—my voice broke—“and I planned on going to South Padre and having a little fun before the end of our senior year in high school. We were so excited.” I smiled as I remembered our Thelma and Louise sunglasses. “When we got there, we met up with our other friend, Jack.”

  The reporter interrupted me briefly to add, “Yes, Jack Duvalt. He was found about twelve hours ago. He’s in critical condition in one of the local hospitals. His parents released a statement to the press shortly after he was admitted. It reads:

  The Duvalt family would like to thank all of the officials in both countries for their help in bringing their son home. We appreciate all the well-wishes, but request that our privacy be respected at this time. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the other two girls as we all wish for the speedy return of Maddison Turner.

  She turned from the monitor to look at me. “Do you have any words for their family?”

  “I’m glad he’s home, and I hope he has a full recovery. Hopefully when he wakes up, he’ll have some more information that can help us find Maddy.”

  Jennifer was shaking her head as if she was very worried herself and asked, “How did you manage to escape?”

  Flashes of that moment raced through my mind. “We were both tied up in the back of a cargo van. I’d been working on my bindings for a while and had managed to loosen the ties on my hands. Maddy kept a lookout so I could keep trying. About the time the van stopped, I’d been able to get my hands free. As soon as I had a chance, I untied my legs. Maddy’s ropes were much tighter than mine. We didn’t have much time, and she forced me to leave her. She said it was our only chance. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew that the men were going to come back soon. I should’ve tried to help her more. I shouldn’t have left her.”

  My plan to remain stoic was long gone as tears trailed down my face. “Leaving her there was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I will never forget the look on her face.”

  Jennifer placed a hand on my leg as a gesture of kindness, but it just felt like a lead weight to me. Then she patted my leg and said, “I’m sure that was extremely hard on you both.”

  I wanted to yell and slap her hand away. She had no idea how hard that was on us. The word hard couldn’t even begin to describe it. Knowing she was only trying to be nice, I held back my anger and said through clenched teeth, “You have no idea.” I grabbed a few tissues from the table beside me and dabbed my eyes fast. I was so mad at myself for crying.

  Jennifer went on to describe how I was picked up and brought back to America. “Since her disappearance, several other girls around the same age have been reported missing as well. It is believed by some that this is the act of a human trafficking ring. Both countries have pledged to find the persons responsible for these horrific acts and have assured the families that justice will be served. Government officials in Mexico have created a special task force dedicated to finding Maddison Turner, Alexia Schrader, Brittany Robins, Joanna Whyte, and Hallie Collins. Our thoughts and prayers go out to each of these girls and their families at this difficult time. We hope they’re found safe and well soon.”

  Looking at the monitor, I watched as more pictures of Maddy and the other missing girls flashed on the screen. “If you have any information about the whereabouts of Maddison Turner or any of the other girls, please call the number on your screen. There will be volunteers to take your statements.”

  She turned back to me. “I want to thank you for coming here tonight and telling us your story. Is there anything else you would like to say?”

  There was so much to say, but I could only think of one thing that mattered. I looked directly into the camera and spoke as clearly as I could manage. “Maddy, if you’re listening, we will find you. I will keep my promise to you. I love you, and I’m so sorry for leaving.”

  The lights clicked on, and people began bustling around the station. Jennifer leaned into me one last time and said, “Thank you, so much. We’ll do everything we can to keep this story alive. There’s always someone out there that saw something.”

  I nodded and said a quick thank you as someone took off my lapel mic. My mother was waiting off to the side of the stage. She looked very excited as I approached.

  “Oh honey, you did such a good job. That was just so heart wrenching. My phone hasn’t stopped ringing since you went on. It seems everyone wants a piece of you now.” She was bouncing with anticipation.

  I wanted to slap her. “I’m going home…alone. I need some space.”

  She grabbed my arm as I walked past her. “What do you think you’re doing? This is your time. Do you actually think you will ever get this opportunity again? It’s not as if you have any sort of talent. You need this.”

  Her words hurt more than she could possibly know. Part of the reason was that not too long ago, I’d agreed with her. The other part was that I became fully aware that her happiness was not because she was glad to have me home, but rather that she was relishing in her own fifteen minutes of fame. The thought sickened me. She’d already done an interview with a magazine about how hard it is for parents of missing children. I felt sick, and my stomach turned over. I didn’t want to be like her.

  Before I could pull my arm from her grasp, I doubled over and threw up on her shoes. I shoved past her and left.

  The next few days there were more interviews, but I just went through the motions. I was numb to the whole experience, and finally I told my mother there would be no more. I couldn’t handle reliving it with each new person. The pity and sorrow in their eyes was too much. I began to wonder if it was helping at all. No one had heard anything, and there were very few new leads from my appearances.

  Maddy’s family had also appeared on the television and radio stations, begging for help and information. I had seen them once outside the KROC radio station in downtown Dallas. The guilt shot through me as I laid eyes on the Turners. I couldn’t even face Zane, but Mrs. Turner threw her arms around me, whispering in my ear she was glad I was home safe. I just sobbed in her arms like a baby, but I didn’t deserve to be consoled. I kept crying until Mom pulled me away and dragged me home. S
he said not to bother them in this time. I guess, for once, she was right.

  Two days after my interview with WKBB News, I decided to go to the hospital and check on Jack. I’d heard he was awake, and I had to know if he knew more about what happened to Maddy. The police wouldn’t tell me anything, and I didn’t want to bother the Turners, but it was driving me crazy sitting around doing nothing. I knew my imagination was getting the better of me, and I hadn’t slept much since I’d gotten home. My nightmares were so bad that I tried everything to stay awake. I couldn’t stop the horrible thoughts of what Maddy was probably going through. I needed to get her back.

  Stopping at the information desk, I asked for Jack’s room. The elderly woman eyed me suspiciously for a few seconds, but then reached for her phone and dialed a number. “There’s an Aimee Lancaster here to see Jack Duvalt. Is he receiving visitors?” She nodded a few times and said, “Yes, I understand.” She hung up the phone.

  “I’m sorry, but he’s not receiving visitors today. If you’d like to leave a message, I’ll be sure that he or his family receives it,” she said as if she’d recited this message a million times.

  “No, that’s fine. I’ll try again tomorrow.”

  “There’s no need. Mr. Duvalt’s family is moving him to a hospital in Chicago.” She turned from me to answer the phone, and I stood silent for several moments, letting her words sink in.

  How could he leave during an open investigation? Did he tell the police everything he knew? What if I could help him remember more? I just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk with me. I was furious. It was so typical of him.

  I stormed out of the hospital and slammed the door as I got in my car.

  How could he do this to Maddy? I needed his help. I’d never be able to keep my promise now. I had no idea where to start looking for her. How dare he!