"No." Caeli's muffled voice sounded hollow.
"No? Then I will join you." Vin kicked off his shoes, stepped into the shower, and sat down beside her. He put his arm around Caeli's shoulders.
"He takes pity on you. Look at yourself. You are, indeed, a pitiful creature. You don't deserve a man as special as Eyvindr."
"Please leave me alone," Caeli whispered and started to pull away from him, but Vin would not let her. He held her close and let his tears blend with the water from the shower. If only the water could wash their grief away.
"No, Honey. I won't leave you alone; not now, not ever again. I love you, Caeli. We'll get through this. It's going to be all right," Vin asserted.
"He won't leave you alone to cause any further harm. You killed his son by refusing me. Your stubbornness was the knife in your son's heart. Your selfish refusal to do what you knew to be best for your baby was the stroke that murdered him. It's such a shame, too. You could have prevented this. You could have saved him, but you chose to kill him instead. You're a murderer."
"No! Stop! Just stop! It's my fault, ok? Is that what you want to hear? Please, please go away and leave me alone."
Caeli could not stand Rika's relentless accusations. Vin was not hearing them and mistakenly thought Caeli was talking to him.
"No, Caeli. I'm not going anywhere. This is not your fault. Whoever did this to you is to blame, but it is going to be all right."
"Of course it will be all right. It will be all right when you finally agree. I can still fix this."
"This will never be all right. This can't be fixed."
"You will be all right. I promise." Vin had no idea what else to say to her. She was right. The damage could not be undone. He did not know how to comfort her except to offer his love and support.
"He will soon know that you are the one responsible. He will hate you for it. He will never forgive you," Rika continued to taunt Caeli's fragile mind.
"You can't know that. You don't know…Vin…he…" Caeli's whole body shook with the sadness that nearly overwhelmed her.
"I'm right here. I do know, Caeli. I know you. I know that you were strong enough to survive the crash; strong enough to survive the fight; and you are strong enough to get through this, too."
"You only survived because I did not want you to die. That is the first time my pet has ever gotten carried away. He really doesn't like you. Probably because he knows that you are the one who will take me away from him. So I had to allow that meddling cherub to heal you."
"I wasn't strong enough. Without Urim, I would not have survived. I know that. What sick pleasure do you get by reminding me?" Caeli replied to Rika's statement.
Flashes of the memory that had been blocked from her suddenly began to pop into her mind. Unfortunately, they were fragmented, and Caeli could not put them together coherently. The only part she recalled with certainty was Urim coming to her aid. She did not know why or how, but she knew the guardian angel, as she deemed him, had saved her life.
Vin wanted to know more about Caeli's comment, but now was not the time to ask. She did not need his questions right then. In fact, he was beginning to wonder if Caeli heard him at all. The more Vin considered it, the more Caeli's responses did not seem to be directed at him. He wondered if she was hearing a voice other than his and, if so, he wanted to hear it as well. Vin's next comment was not only spoken out loud, but also through their special bond.
"The woman I married has the strongest heart of anyone I know. She is a fighter and a survivor."
Caeli heard Vin's assertion. It cut to the core of Rika's accusations, but not her ultimate goal. Rika wanted to take over Caeli's life. She almost succeeded in the cave. Perhaps she had. Maybe none of this was happening to her; but rather to Rika with Caeli along for the heart-wrenching ride.
"Maybe I am no longer the woman you married. Maybe I didn't walk out of that cave intact after all."
"Of course you are not the woman he married. You are damaged goods; but then, you have been since you were a child. So, you never really were the woman you pretended to be. Why would he want to stay with you now that he knows the truth? Besides, you belong to me. You have always belonged to me. It is just a matter of time until you accept it."
Vin was so stunned by what both women said that he could not offer an immediate response. Rika was twisting his words, confusing Caeli, and taking advantage of her grief and guilt. Therefore, everything Vin said caused Caeli more distress. Rika was making the entire situation worse. How long had she been doing this to Caeli? He suspected it had been going on since the crash; but decided the origin didn't matter. He intended to put a stop to it right now. Caeli needed to grieve without Rika's interference. Vin did not know exactly how to silence Rika. He needed to find something that Rika could not use against Caeli.
"Caeli, I know you. You are my wife and my love. No one could ever replace you. I know you are hurting and confused, but please do not listen to Rika. She is misleading you. I am here with you now, and I'm not going to leave. You are safe. Caeli, you know I would never lie to you."
"Wouldn't he? You saw the pictures. Why didn't he tell you about the woman he was kissing? And how many times has he deceived you already on this trip by using drugs to keep you from hearing the truth?" Rika persisted.
"Trust me, Caeli. I love you. Please listen to me. This is not your fault, and I don't blame you. I know you did everything that you could. You do not have to face any of this alone, especially not this. I will help you. I won't leave you. I know you. I know your heart," Vin offered Caeli the reassurance she needed and meant every word of it. He hoped they were words that Rika could not twist.
"He doesn't know you; not like I do. I have always known about your gift. I told you about it when you were young. Nobody else did that for you. When Eyvindr learned of your bloodline months ago, he did not encourage you to discover your true self because he did not want to share his spotlight with you."
"That's not true, and Caeli knows it."
"Then perhaps you can explain why you neglected to tell her about her grandfather and Deacon Antonius."
"Stop this! That was not a lie. Some facts are better left buried," Vin countered.
"Ah, you see. He does keep secrets from you. And more than that, he doesn't know about your trip to the beach when you were young. Eyvindr does not know how closely and inseparably our destinies are bound. He has no idea what we have been through together."
"I don't believe you share a past or a future with Caeli."
"Then perhaps you should hear her secrets. He does not know how you killed his son. Shall I tell him?"
"Leave her alone, Rika!" That was the final straw. Vin's grief found a new outlet in his sudden anger. What was it going to take to get rid of this woman?
"I cannot do that, Eyvindr. She needs to remember the truth. She needs to know her place."
"Caeli has no need of your twisted version of the truth," Vin countered.
"You try my patience, boy. I like what you bring to this relationship, Eyvindr, but make no mistake of your value. I only need her. I do not necessarily have to entertain you." Rika threatened Vin.
As Rika became irritated, Vin heard the fury of the storm outside increase. Vin gained a fleeting insight into Rika's true nature. Could she be the cause of the original storm?
"I don't care what you like or need. You are going to leave Caeli alone or I am going to make you regret the pain you are causing her."
"Oh, this is not pain. You have not seen real pain."
"Why don't you show yourself instead of hiding like a coward. I will introduce you to real pain," Vin replied with heated ire.
"You offer such bold words! Let's see you back them up. Let's see if you can prevent me from doing anything at all."
Caeli unexpectedly doubled over with a sharp pain in her stomach as bad as any pain she had felt before, and Vin could feel the backlash through his connection to her. Rika was hurting her. This is what Caeli had been tryi
ng to explain previously. It was more than just the poison that she had been suffering. Now Vin understood. He held onto Caeli and attempted to soothe her with his own gift; but his effort did nothing to diminish the amount of pain Caeli felt.
"Release her!"
"Or what? What will you do, boy?" Rika's mocking laughter only made Vin that much angrier.
"Stop it! Just stop! I can't stand any more of this," Caeli shouted and covered her ears with her hands, trying to press out the sounds of conflict. The determination in her shout brought immediate silence and an end to the pain. The only sounds remaining were those of Caeli's sobs and the water raining down more intensely from the shower.
"I'm sorry, Caeli," Vin apologized for forgetting that his argument was taking place in her mind.
"Oh Vin! Please help me," Caeli pleaded softly.
It pained him greatly not to be able to grant her request. He did not know how.
Caeli continued to cry off and on for the next half hour, and Vin sat with her, holding her close. Rika's voice did not return. When Caeli started to shiver, Vin reached up and turned off the water. He pulled Caeli up and led her into the other room. She didn't resist. He guided her to sit in a chair while he pulled the stained sheets off the bed, tossing them into a pile in the corner. There was a soft, pale blue blanket at the foot of the bed, which he spread over the bare mattress. After rummaging through his own duffle bag, Vin found one of his favorite shirts. Caeli always enjoyed wearing his shirts to sleep in when he was unable to be home at night. She said they made her feel close to him. Vin handed her a towel and grabbed another to help dry her off, and then helped her change into his shirt.
He started to pick her up off the chair, but Caeli refused to be carried. With Vin's support and some difficulty, she walked across the painfully short distance and slid into bed. She turned very slowly, facing away from him. After quickly drying himself and changing his own clothes, Vin climbed into bed beside her. Sliding up close, he covered them both with the bedspread. Vin wrapped his arms carefully, but protectively, around Caeli. He was momentarily shocked to feel a very faint tingling sensation when his arm brushed her stomach. Vin ignored the sensation as nothing more than a cruel, fading effect of what could have been. The sensation no longer brought him happiness.
Vin did not let go of Caeli for the rest of the night. He kept their special link open so that he would know if she needed anything at all from him. He could feel her chest shake as she continued to sob softly in the dark. She did not sleep until exhaustion finally got the best of her around four in the morning. Vin was aware of the time because he did not close his own eyes all night, feeling the need to watch over Caeli. The peace of sleep eluded him.
CHAPTER 37
Wednesday morning brought a continuation of the thunderstorm that started the previous afternoon. The mood at the breakfast table was somber. The food tasted bland to Salma, though she found herself unexpectedly hungry. She was, at last, introduced to Maku and Pete during the meal.
"It's an honor to meet you, Dr. Erickson," Pete said.
"Please, I'm a person the same as you. All this adulation is quite unnecessary," Salma replied.
"But you have given so many people hope with your work. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I need to get into your medical trial."
Salma understood why Maku wrote the letters and was horrified to learn that Pete had not received any regular treatment for his illness. Since she was free of conference obligations for the day, Salma offered to run some tests for Pete. They were unofficial, of course, because she was not licensed to practice medicine in Hawaii. Yet, Salma could not sit by and let the young man suffer. She insisted that Pete allow her to help in this small way.
"It's the least I can do. I was not able to help your father, and it has been eating away at me. I have the chance to make that right by helping you," Salma told Pete.
Naturally, Pete was overjoyed at the thought of someone as respected and knowledgeable as Dr. Erickson personally taking an interest in his case and in him. It was a better offer than he sought. All Pete wanted was a few words of influence in order to get into one of the drug trials. Pete was even more thrilled to have her personal attention.
After the incident at her seminar, Ben was reluctant to let Salma out of his sight, even here in the hotel. He offered to be her stand-in nurse while she worked. Salma politely declined, saying that he would only be underfoot. So Ben resumed his online research. He compromised with Salma by sitting where he could keep a close eye on her while she worked.
Max asked if he could help pretty Dr. Salma, but Maku and Apela enlisted him as a construction aid instead. They were going to patch the wall in Ben and Salma's room. They assured Max that the hammering would be much more exciting. Max disagreed because there would be no pretty doctors in that room, though he finally complied.
Neither Vin nor Caeli went to breakfast with the others. Caeli slept fitfully, if you could call it that. She was lying with her eyes closed, her mind repeatedly running through a hundred different thoughts and her heart breaking with each unhappy ending. Although Salma gave her a shot last night to ease her pain, it did not provide as much relief as Salma had hoped. The shower reduced its effectiveness, as Caeli intended. Caeli did not want anything to lessen her pain or let her sleep through her guilt. She needed to feel these emotions. Exhaustion was the only reason she had eventually closed her eyes.
Vin was both tired and wide awake at the same time, despite not having slept. However, breakfast time had come and gone, and he could not lie in bed any longer without disturbing Caeli. So he got up and tended to his morning routine with no enthusiasm. Vin sat in a chair at the foot of the bed, watching the rain outside as it came down in torrents. He knew Caeli was still incredibly upset, but could not decide if the current rain shower was her doing or Rika's or a combination of both. They seemed to share a commonality in their gifts.
His stomach began to rumble. Vin realized that he had not eaten anything since Caeli's pancakes the day before. The memory brought tears to his eyes, but Vin fought them back. He went to the top drawer of the dresser, where Caeli always stashed a snack, and pulled out one of the energy bars. Seeing the tainted bar made him seethe with anger. Vin threw it as hard as he could toward the porch. It thudded against the door frame and began to fall toward the floor. The sudden stir of wind in the room reflected his anger.
As he watched the bar's movement, Vin indulged an urge to lash out again, raising his hand as if to pitch something else. He went through a throwing motion with his empty hand and was surprised to discover that he actually did toss something. A spark flickered briefly at Vin's fingertips and then zipped across the air to strike the energy bar a moment before it touched the floor. The tiny ember fed on the foil wrapper to become a flame. Vin rushed over and stomped it out.
Caeli stirred in the bed behind him, and Vin made a conscious effort to calm down before he turned to face her. They needed to talk, not only about the obvious trauma, but also about her gift and Rika. Vin needed to understand what was happening to her. He wanted to know more about what happened in the cave the day before. He still had a lot of unanswered questions. Somehow, in three days, Vin had not managed to complete a single discussion Caeli about these serious events, but that was going to change.
"Sorry, Honey. I didn't mean to wake you," Vin apologized for the noise.
"I wasn't really sleeping," she replied weakly.
"How are you feeling?" Vin asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She tried to turn toward him, but a sudden pain in her ribs caused Caeli to gasp. The answer was obvious.
"Careful. Let me help you."
To his shock, Caeli half-heartedly refused his assistance. Vin was puzzled. He thought that her attempt to pull away from him last night had been prompted by her confusion. Now, he wasn't so sure. Did he do something to upset her? Nothing came to mind. Was she upset because he was not in the room with her when she lost the baby? Vin desperately regretted that, b
ut could not undo it. Vin again offered to help her. This time, Caeli started to take his hand, but then gave up entirely and lay still, closing her tear-filled eyes, refusing to meet his gaze. Vin stood up and walked away, looking out through the porch door with pain reflected in his eyes.
Then Vin remembered the photos. Both Ben and Rika had mentioned them. Could that be it? How could he explain that to her now, at a time like this? But, if the photos were on her mind, then he owed Caeli an explanation and needed to clear the air.
"Caeli, I know you saw those photos. Please don't be mad at me because of them. You know that I would never do that to you. Vicki called me out under the false pretense of fixing her computer. She even pretended that she was being physically threatened. I offered to help her, taking her at her word. It turned out that Vicki wanted more from me than a consoling shoulder. As soon as I figured out what she was up to, I headed out the door. Vicki followed me, begging me to stay. She threw herself at me and kissed me as I was leaving. I put a stop to it and immediately dropped her as a client. I know those pictures make the situation appear much worse, but they are an out of context lie. Vicki probably sent them to you to get back at me for rejecting her. I would never do anything like that, Caeli. I love you too much," Vin explained.
"I never doubted you, Vin, and I'm not mad at you," Caeli replied.
That was a huge relief for Vin. But, if not that, then why was she distancing herself from him? She had only done that on one prior occasion, and not to this extent. At the time, she had been very upset with a family matter that she did not fully understand, and they had only just been out on their first date the night before. She had been trying not to draw him into her problem.
"You are the one who should be upset with me. I don't deserve your help," Caeli finally whispered after struggling through her pain to get propped up in the bed.
Vin turned around to look at her, stunned yet again by her words.
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