"Don't deserve my help? That's ridiculous! Why would you say that, Caeli?"
"I messed up every decision. Everyone tried to tell me those bars weren't any good, but I didn't listen. If I were more adept with my gift, I could have provided better help at the hotel so Apela could have been here for Max. And I lost the most important fight. I tried, but I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't keep our son safe. You must be terribly disappointed. All of this is my fault," Caeli listed a string of self-proclaimed faults, looking down at her hands the whole time.
The storm clouds thickened as she chastised herself. When she glanced up, briefly, Vin noticed that her brown eyes were drowning in tears, which ran unfettered down her pale cheeks. The lightning within the storm flashed. It seemed to match the anger and disappointment Caeli aimed at herself.
"Caeli, that's not true. It couldn't be further from the truth. Please don't think like that. You saved all of us at the hotel. We would have been lost without your help. And you did protect Max. He is perfectly fine. You have the injuries to prove that you fought fiercely for Max and our baby. Oh Honey, I know you did everything and more than any one person could. I am not upset with you. I don't blame you in any way. None of this is your fault." Vin returned to the bed and sat down again. He longed to reach out and comfort Caeli.
"I wish it was so, Vin, but you're wrong. It is my fault. You just don't know every…" Caeli started, but Vin interrupted her.
"No, Caeli. I am not wrong. I want you to listen to me. I don't care what Rika has told you or how she may have twisted it so that it feels like it's your fault. It is not. You did not cause any of this. It is not your fault. God knows, I am so very sorry that I wasn't here when you needed me. I'm sorry you suffered this loss without me. I won't make those mistakes again. I won't leave you alone again. You can be angry with me if you need to, but please don't blame yourself. Please don't push me away." Vin finally reached out and took her hands in his. She did not pull back this time, but held on tightly instead. With her touch, Vin suddenly remembered Salma's caution that he might not be able to help at first.
"Vin, you have no idea how much I want you to hold me right now, but I…"
"That's good enough for me. I don't need to hear anything more than that." Vin moved closer on the bed and tried to draw her near.
"Oh, Vin. As much as I want you to tell me everything is going to be all right, it won't. Even though logically it might not be my fault, I feel responsible. How could I not? This is one test I failed as badly as anyone could. I can't take it back. I don't get to do it over. The loss is final. When you look at me, I feel ashamed of what my weakness has cost us; ashamed that I let you down. Then there's everything else, and it's all going wrong. Nothing is turning out the way it's supposed to. I don't understand what I should do. I have question after question without answer. What do I do now, Vin? Having to endure this without those answers makes it unbearable." Caeli worked herself up while she explained, and her guilt was rapidly being overshadowed by her anger, confusion, and sadness.
Vin did not care about anything more than that moment. Caeli was upset with herself for events she could not have predicted or prevented. The emotional toll was too much for her. She had not yet come to terms that she could accept and had lost confidence in herself as a result. Caeli lost the tenuous control she thought she held over her evolving situation. Because of that, Caeli now believed she was no longer worthy of him. Vin could not allow those feelings to persist. He had not heeded Salma's warning to go slow and be patient. He reacted too quickly, forgetting to consider the physical and emotional hell Caeli was experiencing. As a result, her burden was heavier because he selfishly expected her to behave normally after such a horrible ordeal.
Vin did not answer her question. Instead, he gently wrapped his arms around her. Slowly and with the help of a soothing wind throughout the room, he managed to get her to calm down. Caeli laid her head on his chest and continued to cry. She released the well of emotion that she had bottled up overnight. At last, Vin understood. Caeli was trying to bear the burden of this loss on her shoulders alone. No wonder she had not moved at all last night, Vin thought. She was trying to shield him from the nearly overwhelming pain and sadness she felt. His own eyes were watery for the agony of Caeli's suffering.
After several minutes, Vin saw Caeli's river of tears begin to recede. She was getting her emotions under control and began to relax in his embrace. When she finally looked up at him, the drumming rain outside had slowed to a mild drizzle. Vin saw the depth of sadness in her brown eyes. Her eyes! They were brown again, yet they had been blue before the sudden change in the cave. Vin's mind did not register it at the time, but they had definitely been blue. It was not the first time he had noticed that change.
"Caeli, tell me about your gift. Tell me what has happened since Sunday. I need to understand if I'm going to be able to help you," Vin kept her wrapped securely in his arms and encouraged her to talk to him, though not about the baby, not yet.
Though most of her worry came from guilt or grief, Caeli was right about one thing. She needed guidance with her new skills. Vin had been granted the luxury of being trained by the best teachers in an ideal setting when his gift first manifested. Conversely, Caeli's gift came to her attention under dire circumstances. She was learning to use it on her own, her only guidance came from the events that unfolded around her and forced her hand. Vin intended to help by offering her the benefit of his lessons. Before he could do that, he needed to know what she had already discovered.
Caeli told him everything, whether it was related to her gift or not. She explained what transpired on both flights, including Max's ability to see the angel. She explained the overwhelming sensation that surrounded her when she was exposed to the seawater for too long or when she was overly tired. Vin noted the correlation between these times and the times her eyes would turn blue, and mentioned it to her. Finally, Caeli told him the little she knew about Rika.
Vin also shared, giving Caeli details about the rescue mission and events leading up to the hotel fire, his most recent injury, and knowing that she lost control of her gift at the end of the hotel incident. After the long overdue sharing, they were all but caught up on the trials the other had experienced during the last few days.
However, instead of telling Vin about the mysterious man in black, which was the most recent incident, Caeli asked him to bring her a glass of water. Once he retrieved the drink, she took a few sips, and then dipped her fingertips into the glass. Caeli reached up slowly and placed her wet fingers over the bruise on the side of Vin's head, holding them there and closing her eyes.
Vin did not move as the tingling sensation began. Then, he recalled how each attempt to heal someone had caused her a similar pain. Caeli opened her eyes in surprise when Vin quickly snatched her hand away.
"What's wrong?"
"Caeli, does it hurt you to do that; to heal a wound?"
"Not that I've noticed. Why do you ask?"
Vin explained the strange coincidental injuries she received each time she helped someone. Caeli could not offer him any further insight. She had not noticed the correlation.
"Well, at least you can understand why I can't let you fix me up if it means you are going to turn around and get clunked on the head," Vin concluded. Vin's stomach chose that moment to add its opinion, and Caeli smiled slightly.
"Vin, I don't think it works like that. I do feel as if I have to find a balance, so maybe I am unwittingly causing it. I can't really say. We could test it, now that I'm aware of it." Caeli reached her hand toward Vin's temple once again.
"No, that's not good enough. I won't intentionally risk any further injury to you, especially not now. Let it heal on its own," Vin insisted.
"Ok. If you don't mind, could we continue this conversation a little later? I am tired. I would like to rest, and I think your stomach has other plans for you. Why don't you go get something to eat?"
"Of course you can rest, but I am not lea
ving you alone. Can I help you lie down?"
"Yes, please. I can't seem to move two inches without causing some part of me to hurt."
"We can talk about how you got that way later," Vin was still missing one of the most important pieces of her story. He had seen the fight through her eyes, but there were portions of the event missing. Yet, it could wait a little longer. As Vin leaned over to help her move, Caeli offered one final statement that she needed to make before she would be able to sleep.
"Vin, I'm sorry I was rude to you before. My mind was, is, so jumbled. I know it's no excuse, but I am sorry."
"Apology gladly accepted, but you know it's not necessary. I should have been more considerate of what you're going through."
Vin helped her get situated so that she was lying flat in the middle of the bed. He pulled the comforter up over her, turned off the light beside the bed, and sat there holding her hand. Now that her mind was no longer spinning wildly, Caeli fell asleep right away, and Vin stayed beside her. Though her sleep was uneasy and her body bruised, Vin agreed with Max's unwavering description. Despite it all, Caeli looked pretty lying there.
Vin's longing for her, at that moment, seemed highly inappropriate. She had been through a terrible trauma. Not to mention, Caeli was badly hurt and, according to Salma, could not even attempt to use her gift for her own benefit. Yet, Vin had a strong desire to be close to her. He wasn't even considering acting on his feeling, but he could not understand why there seemed to be such a sense of urgency surrounding the emotion coursing through him. Perhaps it was nothing more than his desire to show Caeli that she meant everything to him. She was the center of his world. Pulling away from him was the last thing Vin ever wanted her to do.
Though still struggling with his feelings, Vin knew that if he didn't get something to eat, the loud growling of his stomach would soon disturb Caeli's rest.
CHAPTER 38
Lorrie picked herself up off the floor, but she refused to wipe the blood from her busted lip. She turned defiantly to glare at Scott, who stood less than two feet away from her, still fuming. He looked as though he might hit her again, but once was all that she would permit. Scott only got away with the first strike because he caught her off guard after luring her in with a kiss. She would not fall for that again. After all, Lorrie had endured much worse than this and had long since learned how to handle men like Scott and their tempers. Standing there staring into Scott's anger-filled eyes reminded Lorrie of a time in her teenage years when she once faced a similar scowl.
She was excited that her father had finally allowed her to begin dating. Of course, it was Maku, her brother's best friend, who was among the first to ask Lorrie out. They grew up together, and she knew Maku cared a great deal for her. Lorrie caught the eye of many young men back then, but Maku's strong physique and kind heart appealed strongly to her.
They had been dating for nearly a year. One particular evening, they planned to picnic in the cave and watch the stars as they walked along the shore. Perhaps they would even swim out to their favorite island. It was a good swim, almost half a mile, but they were both well acquainted with the trek, having made it many times over the years.
On their way to the cave, they encountered three boys, around their same age, stumbling along the beach. The boys were obviously drunk and let slip a few indecent remarks about Lorrie before continuing on their way with a stern warning from Maku. The couple quickly put the boys out of their thoughts and continued on their route. When Maku and Lorrie reached the cave, Lorrie realized that she had forgotten to bring a blanket and asked Maku to run up to her father's hotel and grab one for them to sit on.
Maku was gone for no more than a few minutes when Lorrie saw shadows looming at the mouth of the cave. The trio they passed earlier had returned. They must have seen Maku leave and realized that she was alone. Lorrie sensed the impending trouble. She stared into the eyes of the boy standing closest to her. There was only anger and hatred within. Lorrie tried to call out for help, but they quickly overpowered her and covered her mouth. She struggled, trying to fight them off, but her efforts were in vain. Two of them held her down while the third committed a violent, unforgivable act, shattering her childhood innocence. When he was finished, and the second boy was about to take his turn, Maku returned. In his anger, Maku threw wild punches at the boys as they ran from the cave, succeeding in breaking one of their noses. He didn't even notice the pain as he broke his wrist in the flurry of fists.
Unfortunately for Lorrie, Maku's return had not been soon enough. He had been briefly delayed by his father, the local sheriff at the time. The sheriff was up at the hotel looking for a band of drunken boys who robbed a grocery store about an hour earlier. They stole a case of beer and a handful of cash and headed toward the beach. Maku guessed these were the same boys who were now running away.
Lorrie lay huddled on the cave floor, clothes torn, body beaten and bloody. Maku quickly wrapped her in the blanket he had dropped at the cave entrance and rushed her up to the hotel. Thankfully, Maku's father was still there. They left Lorrie in the care of her parents and went to track down the boys who assaulted her.
The boys were caught and charged with Lorrie's rape and assault. Maku and his father testified on her behalf. The two boys who had not actually committed the invasive act were let off with probation due to their juvenile age. The other boy, whose father was a local politician, might also have squeaked by with a mild punishment if not for Maku's father. The sheriff cleverly pointed out some key evidence that the defense attorney tried to bury. With the concurrent charges for the grocery store robbery, Maku's father made it impossible for the judge to reduce this boy's sentence. As the boy was taken away, Lorrie again saw the look of hatred in his eyes. That look was now burned into her soul.
The only man Lorrie ever cared about after that was Maku's father. She admired the way he fought to make sure her attacker received the punishment he deserved. She only wished the other two boys received harsher sentences as well. Nonetheless, she was grateful for the sheriff's help. Nobody else ever stood up for her like Maku's father did that day, especially not against a more prominent citizen. Maku had arrived too late to be her white knight, and Lorrie could not find it within herself to forgive him for not coming back sooner.
By the time the long drawn out trial was over, Lorrie became aware of another unfortunate change. Not only had she been raped, but she became pregnant as a result. She did not tell anyone about this. She was too ashamed. Instead, Lorrie sought what she believed to be a much simpler solution. Every night, right up until the full moon, Lorrie went down to the cave where the assault took place. Not to find peace or closure, but to partake of the special nature of the Sea Queen's cavern. She fully believed the island legends about the lady of the sea who would grant special favors on the night of the full moon. Each night, Lorrie begged to have this unwanted child taken away from her. She said that she would pay whatever price was asked, but she absolutely would not carry this child.
Maku walked along the beach on the night of the full moon, lost in his sadness over what happened to Lorrie and how it destroyed their relationship. He approached the cave and glanced inside. It was the second time he found Lorrie in distress in that cave. This time, she was again lying on the floor and bleeding. The source of the blood was obvious. She tried to convince him that stress had caused her to miscarry, and Maku allowed himself to believe the lie. As Maku helped Lorrie pull herself together, a rushing inflow of water filled the cave up to their waists and then receded as quickly as it arrived. When the cave floor was uncovered again, there was no visible sign of the discarded child.
Lorrie never again went out with Maku. She went away to the mainland to finish high school and attend college, but she never forgot the look in the eyes of the boy who had changed her life.
She and Scott were in the living room of Lorrie's small house, a mile down the road from Apela's hotel. They decided to return there after the hotel fire to spend the night, ev
en though all of the conference guests were offered alternate accommodations. Scott wanted to keep a low profile until all the media attention died down.
In his mind, Scott replayed the events leading up to the bombing. He knew that his small explosive could not have caused all the damage they witnessed. The fire raged out of control. If not for the sudden and unusual rainstorm, everyone in the suite would have perished. No, Scott was certain that something amplified the effect of his small bomb.
Scott also knew that Lorrie's provocative words were the fuel that kept the protestors fired up. They even made several bomb threats. Scott didn't think they would resort to violence unless Lorrie told them it was necessary. She seemed to have them wrapped nicely around her finger. But that was not part of his plan. They were not supposed to blow anything up. They were merely supposed to be a distraction so that he and his uncle could slip away with Dr. Erickson when the time was right. The whole plan went terribly wrong. Scott's uncle paid for the failure with his life.
Scott tried to discover the source of the additional, larger explosions that were set off in a chain reaction triggered by his small device. Knowing that none of the protestors would have been able to get inside the secured facility, he eliminated them as the culprits. There was only one other person who knew what they were planning. Lorrie! And the manipulative little bitch could easily have convinced one of the guards to let her inside when no one else was around. She could have planted the extra devices.
"I know it was you who put the other bombs in the hotel. I just don't know why. Tell me!" Scott demanded.
"Because you don't need her alive and I want her dead," Lorrie's cold response was filled with hatred.
"What's gotten into you? Of course I need her alive! Without her, I have no way to replicate her work and no access to Caeli. Dr. Erickson is very important, at least for now. If you have some personal score to settle with her, it will have to wait until I'm through with her. Then you can do whatever you want, but not before. Are we clear?" Scott shouted at Lorrie, but inwardly, he admired her mettle in taking such bold action. Lorrie had also very easily discovered Caeli's identity as the anonymous donor. Perhaps Lorrie was not as meek or needy as Scott originally assumed. The thought of her spirit excited him.
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