Single Dad FILF: Fireman I'd like to.... (HotShots Book 3)

by Savannah May

  If it weren’t for my kid’s legs lying across us, Lainie would be under me in a flash, her panties torn down her thighs. I need to be inside of her more than I need to inhale, which is a pretty urgent need right now thanks to the rawness in my throat. I tear myself away from the tangle of our mouths and we both sit there, panting for air in semi-shock at the force of our endless desire.

  Her eyes slide up to mine and we gaze at each other, stunned. I have never felt such a tumult of hunger in my bones. I need this woman in my life, drawing pictures with my baby, listening to me talk while I cook and opening her body to me in the heat of the night.

  “What if he comes back like he said he would?” She whimpers when her breathing calms a little. “Jasmine.”

  “Don’t worry about Jasmine. I told you no one’s going to hurt either of you while I’m breathing air.”

  I grin, because I’m still panting like an old geezer, not breathing well at all from the lust lunging at my chest. My confident smile reassures Lainie and she relaxes into the side of me, under my wing where she seems to like to lounge.

  I’m not fucking kidding here. When I say I’ll kill him, I mean every word. But hopefully it won’t come to that because I have a plan.

  Chapter 19

  Lainie

  The tingling heat in my body whenever Ryder lays his hands on me has me giddy. My clit aches like a muscle that been overworked in the gym and little pulsations of desire come through the numbness there. Ryder gets up from the couch to turn on the Christmas tree lights. He sits down again and nestles me back under his arm where we watch the glow and think about what’s going on here. At least I am.

  Is it possible that this could be forever not just for Christmas? I’ve fallen hard for Jasmine and after an initial wariness she seems to have connected with me too. But she feels more like a baby sister to me and I wonder how I’d ever learn to be a mom to her. I don’t know much about mothering, never having had a role model.

  “What about Shannon?” I murmur, letting my thoughts out into words before I have time to consider.

  “What about her?”

  I feel Ryder stiffen. I guess he doesn’t want to talk about his ex.

  “She seemed pretty pissed at my being here.”

  “Yeah she’s probably worried about her meal ticket.”

  “You don’t need any more trouble because of me.”

  Ryder takes my chin between his fingers and tilts my head so he can claim my mouth again. Lighter this time, not with the same devouring as before. It’s as though he’s letting me know, once again, not to worry and to let him take care of stuff.

  “Coffee.” He grunts and gets off the couch to go make it before I can beat him to it.

  I’m so used to taking orders like that, it came as second nature to jump to it. But Ryder isn’t that kind of man. He can take care of himself and doesn’t seem to expect a woman in his life to do the domestic tasks. And he certainly doesn’t make his kid do them, as my mother made me work in the kitchen like a sorry Cinderella. Then I remember Jasmine cleaning up diligently.

  “Do you believe in children doing chores?” I ask.

  He looks up, surprised by the offbeat question.

  “Yeah. I mean enough to learn how and not expect to be waited on.”

  “But not so it’s labor?”

  “No of course not. Where’s this coming from?”

  “Yesterday Jasmine was quite nervous, sitting on the sofa like she was trying not to be seen. And then I found her doing dishes, tidying the kitchen like she thought it was expected.”

  He gets that enraged glare and once again I’ve made him mad.

  “Sorry, maybe it’s nothing.”

  “I doubt it. I’ll figure it out though.”

  I wrap my arms around my body and look at the twinkling of the lights on the tree.

  “How many days until Christmas now?” I ask, still fuzzy on the calendar seeing as it never mattered recently, up until now.

  “None, Babe. It’s tomorrow. Shit, I guess I better get out shopping. Seems like I’ll be playing Santa Claus this year.” He grins so wide, it makes me glow with warmth to see him so happy. “Last couple of years, I’ve pulled the Christmas Eve shift or been called out as back up. Some idiot always gets drunk and sets fire to the tree. I’ve missed so much.”

  He looks at his sleeping daughter, sprawled trustingly across my lap. His eyes slide up, alighting briefly on my chest, making my nipples perk, then continue up to my face. He catches my eyes and for a brief moment, drops down to my lips, claiming them again with his stare. Then his eyes retake mine and he smiles. I return the grin and it feels as though we’re sharing a secret that only we’ll ever understand, ours alone.

  “I want to buy gifts as well.” But I don’t have any money to my name. And nothing of any value that I could give to a perfect man or his beautiful child. I have nothing to give. “Maybe I could get my old job back, now that I have a home address I could use. For a while.” I say shyly, testing the water of how far Ryder wants to take this.

  “Babe, you don’t need a job. I’m going to take are of you. But I do need someone to watch Jasmine in case I get a holiday call out and anyway who knows when Shannon will decide to come back. I’ll pay you to babysit if you want the job.”

  “I could never charge you after all you’ve done for me. And anyway, I love watching her. It would be a pleasure.”

  It crosses my mind that he’s asked me to stay so he has a live-in nanny for his daughter. Maybe when Jasmine’s mother returns, that will be the end of this. I decide not to ask. We’re still too new, feeling our way through something that’s hit us both unexpectedly. Maybe it’s because of the holidays, but it feels too magical to spoil by demanding lots of reassurances.

  Little by little we’ll work through the obstacles and see where our love takes us.

  Shit, did I just say love? I shouldn’t even be thinking the word but what else can I call it? There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m falling in love with the big hunk fireman. He’s the kindest man I’ve ever known despite his dominating attitude, not to mention he’s the most incredible lover, pulling sensations out of my body I never knew were possible.

  “Today’s the last chance to get some shopping done.” Ryder says.

  I can tell Christmas plans are rushing through his head and he’s forgotten about Thad’s threat. The memory of my stalker’s vicious lips curling up into a smile, promising painful vengeance, makes me shiver.

  “We’ll come with you.” I say.

  I don’t want to be left in the house alone, not with Jasmine here - I’d never forgive myself.

  “You can’t go out, babe.” Ryder tells me. “Remember there’s a warrant out for you.”

  “Oh god.” I groan.

  That particular fun fact had temporarily escaped me as I settled into the warmth of sudden family life.

  “Once we get this settled then you’ll be free to do what you want. We can go wherever you want. I promise.”

  He sits down and hands me a mug of coffee. The heat and the jolt of caffeine feels good. But mostly it’s Ryder’s bulk pressing into my flesh that makes me content. I believe him when he promises. I think he can take care of anything he sets his handsome head to. Jasmine stirs but doesn’t wake. Together we look down at her, sleeping peacefully.

  “I’m afraid.” I whisper. Not for myself but for Jazzy. “Leave me here then but take Jasmine with you.”

  Ryder thinks over my suggestion. Despite my fear I smile at the idea that he’s not used to following any proposal beyond his own. But he’s definitely considering mine and it’s nice to have a voice for once.

  “I don’t like leaving you alone but the alternative is worse. I have a plan and it’ll only leave you here by yourself for a very short time. Where’s Jasmine’s booster seat?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Didn’t Shannon leave it?”

  “She only left what Jasmine was carrying in her little backpack.”<
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  “For fuck’s sake. Now I have to go buy a car seat as well. That seals it - I’ll have to go to the mall, online won’t get here in time. We’ll all be stuck in the house.”

  “Now I’m really afraid.”

  “I told you I have a plan, Babe. Trust me. I”ll have someone here in less than an hour to make sure you’re safe. It’s early. Surely this douchebag Thad has to sleep.”

  I’m not too sure about that but I nod and put a brave face on it.

  “You have a plan?” I whimper.

  I wonder whether that includes getting me out from under this bond warrant. Before Ryder I might have been okay with having a dry bed to sleep in and some food for the Christmas period. After Ryder, I can’t bear the thought of not being with him and Jasmine for the holiday. I’ve never had much of a Christmas and he seems determined to make it something special for his kid - maybe a little bit for me as well.

  Ryder strokes the side of my arm and I relax a little. The likelihood of Thad coming back this early is so unlikely as to be impossible. He only ever came over to my studio room late at night, same as when he showed up here, after the bar closes and he’s looking to get nasty. The dude is a total vampire.

  Still, I have the responsibility of Jasmine now and I’ve never been responsible for anyone but me. My hands are trembling uncontrollably. Ryder looks down at them. He uncurls his huge palm to look at my fingers shaking like bugs on a leaf in a windstorm and his face takes on a strange expression. That same frown where he looks like he’s pissed at me.

  “What?” I say and snatch my hand out of his.

  He reaches across and picks it up again. We get into a little tussle that only ends when Jasmine, still lying across both of us, begins to stir and moan at being disturbed.

  “What was that?” I hiss, anger as usual making me put up a wall against the likelihood of being kicked down.

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t tell me nothing. You were the one who said we had to be totally upfront with each other if we’re going to be able to trust. Spill.”

  “Just - you're shaking.”

  “So I’m a wuss. You would be too in my place.”

  “I know you’ve been through a lot. I’m trying to keep Jasmine safe from any kind of hurt.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll guard your kid with my life.”

  He relents then, but his clamp around me doesn’t soften. He pulls my hand insistently, with an irresistible strength it would be pointless to fight against, back into his lap and holds it there. He takes my chin in his finger and thumb and turns my face to his.

  “I know you will. And I’ll guard you with mine, I promise.”

  He tips his head down and claims another deep kiss which I immediately surrender to. When he pulls his face away I see Jasmine is wide awake. Her round blue eyes staring up at us.

  Chapter 20

  Ryder

  I kiss my little girl and then my bigger, but equally adorable, girl and promise to be back as soon as I get a booster seat. Again I’m glad to see that Jazzy is completely at ease being left with Lainie. She’s asking whether they can cook pancakes together for breakfast.

  “Hey, you’d better wait ’til I get back home for the pancake fest.” I tell them.

  The two have formed a bond I’ve never seen with my usually introverted kid. I hate leaving them but if I can pull this off, it will solve all Lainie’s problems.

  When I get to the police station, the cop on Lainie’s case is off-duty.

  “Shit, can you give me his address?”

  The desk Sargent gives me the face.

  “Okay then can you call him and let him know I’ve got some urgent information about the case?”

  “How ‘bout you tell me the urgent information and I’ll pass it on to him?” The Sargent says, clearly bored.

  “I’m the firefighter on this arson case and it’s urgent that I speak to him.”

  Dropping my professional credentials perks the guy up somewhat and he agrees to call the cop who found the drugs at Lainie’s apartment. Officer Crane sounds real doubtful when I tell him about the stalker asshole who’s been threatening my girl. Of course, I don’t say she’s my girl but the cop must pick up on something to do with my relationship with Lainie because that’s all he seems to focus on.

  “What’s your interest in the girl?” He inquires for like the tenth time.

  “None really. Beyond that I saved her life and I’m interested in seeing it kept that way.”

  “Ah. Rescuer type huh?”

  Why can’t people stop saying that about me? Like it’s a crime or some shit.

  “Look, the guy was at my house last night looking for Lainie. She’s in danger.”

  “You saw him at your house?”

  “No, not exactly.”

  Crane is so suspicious and so inquisitive about where she can be found, I remember that the warrant for Lainie’s arrest is probably what interests him most. Like too many cops, he’s less about finding the real perp and more about pinning a wrap on anyone convenient - usually someone poor and vulnerable.

  “So you have no personal interest beyond being responsible for the girl’s life. But you believe her story about a stalker you’ve never seen. And you’re also certain that she’s not an addict.”

  “Weren’t her hospital tests negative?” I bark.

  “And now how would you know that?”

  “Weren’t they?” I insist.

  “The initial tests were inconclusive.” He says, which I know is a lie.

  The nurse told me herself that tests found Lainie was clean, before the cops ordered up another set.

  “And she ran out of the hospital to avoid arrest before the other tests were run.” Crane is like a dog with a stick. “Did she tell you that?”

  “No. I haven’t seen her.” I can lie too, when it serves my purpose.

  In the end I get nowhere and leave frustrated without getting the cops onside to look for this dude at the bar Lainie worked at. Nor can I get a uniform to stake out my house in case the asshat comes back to harass her while I’m gone.

  I leave the precinct and slam out of the lot in my truck, mad as hell. I promised Lainie I’d take care of things and all I managed to accomplish was to spark suspicion in the police investigation. I wouldn’t be surprised if they go looking to cart her away in cuffs as soon as they check out my home address, which should take them all of two minutes.

  I scratch around in my head, still aching from carbon monoxide fumes, for an alternate plan. Okay - if the cops do go out to my place, that gives me enough time to run to the store for a car seat. My girls will be protected if Thad does show up and there’s the crazy possibility that the cops and the asshole will arrive at the same time. Then they won’t be able to deny what I’m telling them. Lainie’s stalker will be caught in the act. If none of that ends up happening, I’m sure to get back from shopping in time for us to leave.

  Plan B is abandon the house and take Lainie somewhere she won’t be found. I’ve got a cabin up in the woods. A tiny shack barely a hundred square feet that I built myself as a man cave away from everything. It’s not luxurious, there’s not even heating, but at least Lainie will be safe and we’ll all be together.

  It’s not much of a plan but it’s all I got.

  I floor the gas and pull a u-turn to head to the mall close to my house. Naturally it’s rammed with so many people, I have to park miles from the door at the furthest edge of the lot. Jesus, this Christmas malarkey is a scam. How much money do people get tricked into spending every year? A freaking ton judging by the folks coming out of the store with carts piled high.

  Inside, the scene is even crazier. Two women are actually fighting over some doll with huge eyes you’d be more likely to see on an alien than a baby. One woman slaps the other and a man stands to one side taking video on his phone but doing nothing. Jesus, talk about Christmas cheer. I stride over there and pull the two women apart. They’re stunned by my interference and stare
up at me. One is about to scream some obscenities at me if I’m not mistaken. Her face goes soft from one moment to the next and her hand moves to her hair to fix how disheveled it is from the grapple. The other mirrors her and tosses me a simper-smile. Shaking my head, I walk away, praying I don’t have a showdown over a car seat.

  Fortunately the utility area of the children’s section is all but empty. I find a quality seat that’s right for Jasmine’s age and weight then head to the toy area for some presents. Holy crap it’s like wrestling just let out of the stadium, the crowd is so thick. I can’t fight my way through, I don’t have time. My head is pounding but I ignore it and head straight for the cash. The line snakes back down the aisle and I’m on edge. I need to get home.

  I haven’t bought gifts for my girls. I’ve messed up on everything I promised. My luck is in because a clerk opens up another cash desk and she beckons me over. I wouldn’t normally be such a dick, pushing myself ahead, but these are extenuating circumstances. On the way, I pass some baskets containing color pencils, felt tip pens and another with a bunch of sparkly pompoms and other craft stuff no one seems to want in the rush for screens. I grab at everything I can get my hands on so as not to go home empty.

  I’m probably over-reacting and the better idea would be to finish my shopping now that I’m here. I know I’m going to regret it big time on Christmas morning when I have no gifts to give Jasmine. But there’s a dread in the pit of my stomach that I can’t shake. I need to be home and protecting what’s mine.

  I get out of the shopper craziness and floor it. Driving up my street, I realize what a panic I’ve put myself in. There are no cop cars outside the house. I see a truck I think I recognize parked about a dozen houses down from mine. But I’m just jittery, there are a ton of blue Ford 150s out there. I know that’s true but something isn’t right.