I don't know what it is, it feels like he's holding back. Something is making him unsure and hesitant when it comes to me and I want to know what it is. There's a protective barrier he walks around with constantly and before I can reveal how I feel, I need to know he feels the same way.
"Why do I feel like there's a but coming along?" I whisper, my nerves increasing as seconds pass. He glances up at me with surprise in his eyes, possibly from me reading his body language.
"I don't know," he mutters in response, his words guarded. I nod in the dark, taking a step back.
"You're unsure?" I say quietly and moments of silence pass between us before Jake nods slowly, exhaling out the breath he's holding. Hurt instantly stabs through my chest but I plaster a smile on my face as I head for the door —
"Goodnight Jake," I say, my voice strained. I wait for him to reply but he doesn't so I leave him alone in the dark.
Chapter Fifteen - Jake crazed idiot.
The sting behind my eyes intensify and my body aches in places I didn't even knew exist. When I shift or move positions, an uncomfortable grunt involuntarily leaves my lips. The exhaustion I've felt the past few days is beginning to take its toll on me. My body feels like it's on strike, refusing to function correctly unless I give in and sleep. It's not that I'm refusing to sleep, it's simply that my brain won't shut down for one night.
I'm wearing an off the shoulder baby pink shirt and my hair is scraped back into a messy bun. Underneath I wear my pyjama shorts from last night and I plan to remain like this all day. My mind wondered to last night when things became awkward between Jake and I. I'm planning on avoiding the topic entirely today. The kitchen door swings open and Jake waltz in, his hair wet from the shower.
Speak of the devil.
I scroll aimlessly through my phone, avoiding eye contact with him. . . It's easier said than done.
Especially when the boy always looks so damn good.
Jake notices my hostile personality towards him and he sighs heavily, making me aware of his presence. I watch from the corner of my eyes as he walks over to the microwave, placing some oatmeal inside. He turns it on, the beep of the microwave filling the silence between us.
"Sleep well?" Jake asks me quietly, turning to look at me. His voice is strained, holding back from what he really wants to say to me. I simply shake my head and carry on scrolling through my phone, glancing at my unread texts. Multiple messages from Mum asking of my whereabouts. I roll my eyes at my phone, feeling surprised that she'd even noticed my missing presence. I turn my phone off, placing it down onto the dining table before putting my head in my hands.
If I close my eyes here, I could power nap. . .
I hear a chair scrape back and Jake pushes his bowl of oatmeal towards me, dropping a spoon beside it as he takes a seat opposite me.
"Eat it, it'll give you energy."
"No thanks, I'm not hungry." I reply, my voice exhausted as I push the bowl back towards him. I really can't stomach food right now.
"You should eat something Emily."
"I'm really not that hungry," I shoot back at him, noticing his eyebrows creasing together.
"Oatmeal is good for the body, it's fuel." Jake said stubbornly, pushing the bowl back towards me. I raise one brow, passing it back to him so it looked like we were playing a game of pass the parcel.
"I'm not a car, I don't need fuel." I say light heartedly, wanting him to drop the subject. The real problem between us is currently being disguised as a god damn bowl of oatmeal. I sigh heavily, standing up from the table and scraping the chair back.
"I'm going to try and get some sleep. Enjoy your oatmeal Melvin," I smile tightly at him. He raises one brow but doesn't question my actions. The awkward atmosphere between us continues to grow until it's almost suffocating.
I leave the kitchen and walk up the stairs, putting some distance between Jake and I so I can clear my thoughts
I finish making my bed as Jake knocks on my bedroom door. I pause and look up at him, both of us creating eye contact that i'm not ready for.
"Is this about last night Emily?" Jake says, his voice a low murmur. The blue in his eyes burn brightly as he looks at me, pleading with me to talk to him. I slowly nod my head.
"It's a little confusing, that's all." I say quietly, avoiding eye contact with him. He takes a seat on my bed, blowing out a deep breath. I watch him as he reaches up, running a hand through the soft strands of his dark hair.
"I don't know if I can explain, it's difficult."
I'm surprised at his words because I thought I'd be getting honesty from him. . . Maybe this is his honesty. I nod slowly, digesting the information that he isn't ready.
"I like you Jake." I blurt out, letting him in on my thoughts. My eyes widen at my sudden urge to be truthful and I mentally slap myself as I notice the surprise flash in his eyes. He masks it over so that his face is emotionless and he quickly stands up, acting like I've grown two heads.
"Say something." I mutter, my cheeks turning into two hot flaming coals. Someone crack an egg on these cheeks because I'm ready to scramble them.
"You shouldn't, you really shouldn't." He says darkly, his words quiet. I frown at him, feeling hurt as I watch his take steps towards the door.
"Why is it wrong for me to like you?"
He simply shakes his head at me in response, his face twisted and contorted as he leaves the room. I wonder what happened to him to make him so unsure on himself and uncomfortable with portraying his feelings. Despite that I'm still hurt and confused.
I lie down, emerging myself inside the safety of my blankets. Before I know it I'm fast asleep, the thought of Jake still fresh in my mind.
*****
When I wake daylight isn't streaming through the window but darkness welcomes me. I slept through the whole day. It's ideal I have two weeks off college because my sleeping pattern is seriously messed up.
I rub my eyes and sit up slowly, feeling my stomach ache from my recovering bruises. I lean over and take two tablets from the bedside cabinet before popping them into my mouth and swallowing them with some water. The water is like a god send and I don't realise how thirsty I am as I guzzle down almost half of it. There's a knock on the door before Ivory opens it, popping her head round.
"Hey Em, you're finally awake."
"Yeah, come in." I smile back, sitting up straighter. She holds a food tray in her arms and as she walks over the delicious smell of pizza hit me, causing my stomach to grumble loudly.
"You're an angel sent from the pizza heavens above." I say gratefully, shooting her a smile.
"All I did was heat up some left over pizza," Ivory giggles, pushing the plate towards me. I reach over and pick up a slice, my mouth watering. I haven't eaten since last night and I'm starving.
Ivory grabs a slice of her own before sitting cross legged on my bed, taking a huge bite. We both remain silent, chewing on our pizza in a comfortable silence.
"So what has Jake done?" She asks me, breaking the silence between us. I glance up at her from under my lashes and she rolls her eyes.
"It's obvious something has happened between you two. He's been slamming doors and avoiding conversations all day." Ivory tells me. I chew on my bottom lip before deciding I trust Ivory enough to confide in her. When i'm done pouring my heart out to her, she scrunches her nose up in distaste.
"Wow, he seriously walked out on you when you told him you liked him? He should know not to treat you like that."
I smile at her, grateful to have her as a friend.
"I can't remember the last time he bought a girl back to the house so he must really like you."
"Do you really think so?" I ask her, the excitement rising in my voice. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and I bite back the smile containing my glee. Ivory nods —
"Definitely . . . besides you are smoking hot."
"You're not so bad yourself pizza angel." I smirk, nudging her shoulder lightly with mine.
Ivory and I are nes
tled on the couch, several blankets surrounding us. She flipped through a few channels before stopping on the Food Network and I nodded my approval.
"I love this channel. I just love food in general really." I admit, chuckling. Ivory gasps and holds her palm up for a high five. "We're like twins separated at birth."
The door swings open, revealing a shirtless Jake. He's panting, his chest rising heavily up and down. Beads of sweat cover his forehead and my eyes immediately zone in on his body. His skin tone is tanned, stomach rippling as he moves and my mouth almost drops open in shock.
Tattoo's travel up his chest and covered parts of his arms that were equally as defined. I wanted to explore and know every single story behind each tattoo.
A sharp nudge in my ribs caused me to snap out of the trance Jake's body put me in and I turn towards Ivory, confused.
"Stop drooling over my cousin Em, it's weird."
"I was not!" I defend myself but her words cause me to blush a crimson red. Jake chuckles, his eyes landing on my blushing face.
"I've just been for a run, excuse the appearance." His voice is hoarse and low and I physically have to tense my jaw from almost dropping open once again.
"You look great," I respond sub-consciously, my eyes drifting down Jake's body. His eyebrows rise and he smirks at me, knowing I'm checking him out. . . And enjoying it too. I mentally groan and sink lower into the couch.
Did I really just say that?
Ivory jumps up, heading towards the door.
"I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute, looks like you need it." She smirks before disappearing out the door, leaving me alone with a shirtless Jake Melvin.
It should actually be a crime to be left alone in a room with a boy who turned your brain along with all your common sense into mushy peas.
Jake made his way towards me, running a hand through his damp hair, combing it back. I tried my best to keep my eyes trained on the television but to be honest, I'd rather be drooling over Jake's abs rather than a pavlova. Jake stood in the way of the TV, blocking my view and looked down at me.
"Can I talk to you Muffin?"
I look down at his body again before meeting his eyes, nodding.
"Sure but you should put a shirt on first," I tell him firmly, knowing there was no way I could talk to him when he looks like that. Jake tilts his head to the side, studying me intently before chuckling.
"Does it make you nervous?"
"It makes me everything but nervous," I reply suggestively before realising what I'd said. I slap my hand over my mouth and close my eyes, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole for being such a Jake crazed idiot. I can hear Jake laughing at my expense and I groan further.
Ivory enters the room, clutching a drink before her eyes flickers between me and Jake.
"Did I miss something?" she asks confusingly which causes Jake's laughter to deepen, the sound filling the room.
Well played Emily. . . Well played.
Chapter Sixteen - “You’re special Muffin… I can feel it.”
"I'm sorry. Forgive me."
Jake is sat on the foot of my bed and I'm cross legged on the top, resting against my pillows. We've spent the last five minutes staring at each other silently until he finally apologised. I look up at him from under my lashes and he grins at me boyishly, looking apologetic.
"You confuse me Jake."
Jake shuffles closer to me, the smile from his face dropping.
"Emily look, I really didn't mean to walk out on you. I don't purposely set out to confuse the hell out of your feelings." He admits, running his hand through his hair. His expression turns serious and I nod slowly.
He’s afraid of something but I don't want to push him to tell me.
"I have a reason for why I'm so cold and distant at times but I can't tell you yet. I'm working on it Emily, I really am. I'm not very good at this whole apologising thing," he mumbles, confirming my suspicions.
My lips stretch out into a small smile. All of us have been hurt somehow and we all put up barriers, some more than others. It takes a strong character to be able to admit they've been hurt in the past and I admire Jake for that.
"I can't ask you to do anything other than work on it so we're cool," I reassure him. He gives me a small smile in return. I watch as he inches closer towards me, causing my breathing to swallow out.
"Thanks for being so understanding," he whispers, sending shivers down my spine. His arms wrap around me in an embrace and I return it, grateful for his apology.
"I'm actually a very understanding person." I say in response, earning a chuckle from Jake.
"Don't be so full of yourself Wentworth."
I know he's smirking and when he pulls back, his eyes flash with intensity as he looks through mine. It feels like he's searching every part of me and I blink, suddenly feeling insecure from his stare.
"Can I be truthful right now?" He murmurs, surprising me and resting his forehead against mine. I suck in a breath, forcing myself to breathe normally.
"Yes," I whisper, breath trembling. His gaze flickers between my eyes before dropping down to my lips.
"You are beautiful," he says suddenly, taking me by surprise. I suck in a deep breath, his words causing my stomach to break out fluttering with butterflies.
"You're not so bad yourself Melvin." I say quietly, my heart hammering against my chest. If I remain silent, he could probably hear it.
"You think so Wentworth?" He questions teasingly and instead of making fun of him, I decide to be truthful, once and for all.
"Yes, I do."
I take in his heart wrenching features, from his deep ocean blue eyes to his lips and sharp jawline. I feel Jake watch my every move from the way my shoulders rose and fell as I breathe to the scarlet blush staining my cheeks. He lightly takes hold of my chin, warmth spreading through my body.
"You're special Muffin. . . I can feel it." He whispers, leaning closer.
His kiss never starts soft, lips rough and urgent from the start almost as if he doesn't have the patience for tenderness. I resist at first, my body frozen in place from the surprise of having his lips on mine. The electricity that flows through me quickly becomes addicting and I melt into him, desperate for more. Our lips both move in perfect synchronisation, moulding against each other.
I lightly push on his chest to create some space, needing to come up for air before I pass out from the lack of oxygen. I don't realise how warm my cheeks have grown and Jake chuckles, his laughter a low rumble.
"You're seriously not blushing after the kiss you just gave me." Jake teases, his eyes shining brightly. I smack his chest playfully in response —
"Hey! You kissed me first." I defend myself. Jake quickly leans forward, surprising me by planting a quick peck on my lips.
"Yeah I did. Now I kissed you again." He smirks, fingers trailing up and down my bare arms. I roll my eyes playfully at his response before clutching a handful of his shirt in my fist and pulling him forward. This time I'm going to kiss him first. . .
And boy does it feel good.
*****
I turn the shower off and pause for a moment, closing my eyes. Lately everything around me has been moving at lightning speed so a taking a second or two to collect my thoughts makes me feel better. I step out of the shower and notice my phone screen flashing with numerous messages. I reach over and pick it up, reading the first message —
Where the hell are you Emily ? Mum
I quickly type out a response, my features scrunched up in frustration at the screen —
I've left home. Im not living with Trevor or you anymore. Bye Mum.
It's nice to regain control of my life after having it spin out of control for so long. I hope Mum understands that I'm doing this for myself and my safety. The next message is from an unknown number and I pause, a familiar feeling of dread washing over me.
You need a man to love you Emily, not a little boy.
I sigh heavily, feeling the pressur
e building up inside my head as a headache begins to brew.
Who are you? GO AWAY.
I hesitate before sending the text, uncertain whether I'm making the right decision. Should I completely ignore him or show him that I'm not scared? I send the text and don't expect his response to be almost immediate but it is.
It is not the right time. I will never go away. . . Not until you're mine.
I shudder at his words that are borderline psychotic stalker behaviour. I turn my phone off and push him to the back of my mind. No way do I need more hassle on top of everything else going on in my life.
I walk back to my room and change into my favourite pyjamas — pink with hearts all over them. Once I'm dressed I blow dry my hair and secure it into a high ponytail. I step into my fluffy bedtime slippers and head downstairs for a warm glass of milk to end my night.
I take the first sip when I feel warm arms wrap around my waist from behind. I jump a little before realising who it is. His scent wraps all around me and the tension in my body completely disappears. I sigh and relax against him, my lips tugging upwards into a smile.
"Hey beautiful," Jake murmurs down my ear. I bite back the smile and turn around, looking up into his blue eyes.
"I feel like you can't get enough of me lately Melvin." I smile sweetly at him. His eyes flash with amusement before raking down my body and back up again.
"I can't help it when you're covered in bright pink love hearts."
"Shut up, I'm comfortable." I laugh, my cheeks growing warm with embarrassment. He chuckles lightly before taking the glass of milk from my hand. I barely have a second to protest as he tilts it upwards, downing the liquid in one.
"Jake!" I whine in protest, shoving him lightly. He gives me an apologetic look, placing the empty glass back down onto the counter.
"Sorry Muffin. These bad boys don't feed themselves you know." He winks, flexing his right arm. The muscles in his bicep bulge instantly and I arch my brow, impressed. "Wow, that right up."
"It's not the only thing that shoots right up when you're around."
His Mission (HIS SERIES Book 1) Page 10
