by Louise Bay
“Riiight,” Douglas said. “I’m fifteen. Not five. I don’t believe in Father Christmas either.”
“Whatever. Doesn’t bother me if you don’t believe it. Fact is I wanted to get better. More than anything. And that will is the most important thing you have.”
Douglas folded his arms and scowled. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so challenging, but I knew from experience that he’d have to win the mental game if he was going to win the physical one. “I want to get better,” he said, his voice softer than the expression on his face, almost as if he was afraid to believe it.
“Maybe,” I said, shrugging.
“You think I want to sit around in bed all day with a bunch of babies?”
“I don’t know, Douglas. I can’t tell what goes on inside your brain. I do know that there’s a difference between wanting to walk again and being determined that you will walk again.”
Douglas didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if he felt chastised or if he just wanted me to say more without him asking.
“Truly,” another kid’s enthusiastic call echoed out across the room. She stood and held out her arms, mirroring the kid being pushed toward us in a wheelchair. “Did you come to visit me?”
She reached down to hug him. “Theo! Of course. And guess what I brought?”
She dipped into her bag and pulled out a book. “Fantastic Mr. Fox.”
Theo made a fist and pulled back his arm at the fact Truly’d brought the book. She giggled at his enthusiasm.
Jesus, this woman was a fucking angel. She knew these kids. They loved her. She didn’t have to be here, spending time with them, brightening their day. It was more evidence that she underestimated herself. She thought she was all back office and numbers when it came to the foundation. That she wasn’t good with people. She was so wrong.
“Douglas, did you hear? Truly’s going to read us Fantastic Mr. Fox.”
I caught Truly’s eye. She winked at me and a rush of warmth crashed over me. This woman would be my downfall.
“I’m too old for that book,” Douglas said.
“Hey, I’m not too old for that book,” I said. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“It’s the best,” Theo said, his voice straining as his nurse helped him into bed.
Douglas shrugged. “You’re staying?” He glanced at me.
“I have a meeting with one of the doctors, but I’ll come back afterward.” I wanted Douglas to know he could walk, and if I could help guide him into that way of thinking, wasn’t it my responsibility to do that? “Is that okay?” I asked Truly.
She nodded, beaming up at me. “Sure. Dr. Edwards is expecting you . . .” She glanced at her phone. “Right about now. I’ll be here for an hour or so.”
“You really should stay the rest of the day,” Theo said. “At least until dinnertime because you haven’t been for sooo long.”
“I won’t stay away so long next time.” She ruffled the top of his hair. This boy needed to lead negotiations at the UN. He had a bright future ahead of him.
She glanced up to find me watching her. I just couldn’t not. She was so fucking beautiful. So fucking good.
TWENTY-THREE
Noah
“Are you around later?” I asked Truly over the whoosh of the sliding doors as we left the center. Her rules hadn’t said anything about how often we’d see each other. But after today I wanted to hang out, hear more about her time at the center. How she’d been with Douglas and the way Theo clearly adored her had me wondering if there was more I didn’t know about her. Her eyes had lit up around those kids, and she’d looked positively giddy about reading Roald Dahl to a five-year-old. She was adorable. And even though I’d come to the center to see the clinical head, what I’d really wanted to do was stay and listen to Truly read.
I didn’t want to miss out.
On her.
“I’ve had a pretty late start this morning, so I think I’ll work late.” She fumbled in her bag, looking for something.
I nodded. Sounded like a brush-off, which was fair enough. Two nights in a row didn’t really scream casual, and I could hardly suggest that we didn’t have to fuck, we could just eat and go to bed. That was what couples did.
And we weren’t a couple. She’d been clear about that.
Although we were friends.
I wasn’t sure where the line was.
“Tomorrow night would work,” she said, and my heart lifted in my chest. She growled as she pulled her car keys from her bag. “No, I’ve said I’ll go and see Abigail tomorrow. Give her a rundown of what’s happening at the foundation. Obviously, I only tell her the fun stuff. Otherwise she worries. Maybe after?”
“Sounds good.” She didn’t need to know that I might just drop around for a beer at Rob and Abigail’s before as well.
“How was your meeting?” she asked, scanning the car park as if she’d forgotten where she’d parked.
“Interesting.” I pointed out her car and she grinned.
“Are you thinking of founding some kind of healthcare business?”
“Maybe. I haven’t quite figured it out yet. There are new treatments available that the center doesn’t have because of funding and then the ones that aren’t available yet but will be soon—more people should have access to this stuff. I need to figure out if I can make that happen.”
“Not even all your money can solve the problem,” she said. “You can’t give everyone the ability to walk, Noah.”
I chuckled. “Right? I thought I was rich but this . . .” We reached her car and I paused.
“Being rich is about more than having money. The fact that you’re interested and . . . It’s nice. That’s all.” She stared at her feet.
“Back at you,” I said, enjoying the blush my compliment elicited.
“It’s my job.”
We both knew that wasn’t the whole truth. Truly had said herself that she liked to be excellent at what she did, so no job would ever be just a job for her. And I could imagine that this kind of work was as heartbreaking as it was rewarding. No amount of money would ever be enough.
She lifted her eyebrows. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
I nodded. I wanted to kiss her, and not just on the cheek to say goodbye. I wanted to be closer to her. I wanted to take her face in my hands, and press my lips, my tongue, my body to hers.
I wanted to communicate without words.
She turned and pulled open her car door.
“See you tomorrow,” I said, then stood and watched her pull away instead of moving along to my car.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the guy who lusted after some girl and sat back while she dictated what kind of relationship we were going to have. I was the one who set the boundaries. I said when we were done. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact I could still feel her smooth skin under my fingers, or that I could still remember the way my body tightened as I came inside her that made her different.
Maybe it was the way that she looked sexiest in a worn t-shirt despite looking incredible in a ball gown.
Or was it the way I’d found her diving into Fantastic Mr. Fox when I’d expected her to be sweating over spreadsheets and pouring over PowerPoint presentations.
I’d abide by her rules for now, but I wasn’t sure how long they’d last.
TWENTY-FOUR
Truly
“B-r-u-n-c-h,” Noah spelled out as he sat on the edge of the bed and put on his socks, which were always the first thing to come off and the first thing to go on.
And he thought I was a geek?
I watched him in the reflection of my dressing table mirror as I smoothed moisturizer over my neck. “Thanks. Now I know how to spell brunch, I just don’t know why.”
“So, we don’t starve. It’s not like you have any food in this place. Were you planning on being somewhere?”
Instead of answering, I focused on making a perfect circle of tinted moisturizer in the palm of my hand. “Maybe,” I said. He shouldn’t
even be here, staying the night should have gone down as one of the things we agreed not to do. But last night, my body had been so wrung out that every muscle had melted into the mattress—I hadn’t had the energy to kick him out, and apparently he hadn’t had the inclination to move.
He caught my eye in the mirror. “If you have plans then . . . do whatever, I guess. But if you don’t, let’s have brunch.”
“You want to ask Rob?” I asked. If Rob was there it was just a group of friends having a meal. If it was just Noah and me that was . . . different, wasn’t it? I wanted to keep our relationship simple, not pretend to myself that it could be something else.
“Nope,” he said, pulling on his jeans. “I want to have brunch with you, and I don’t want to listen to plans for when the baby’s born or how Arsenal are going to do this season. I just want to hang out. Take the piss out of the way you order. Relax together.”
His bronzed torso stretched wide as he slid his arms into a blue t-shirt that slowly covered the line of blond hair that created a trail down to my favorite part of him. I definitely should have sent him home last night.
“So basically, you want me to entertain you.” I pulled my mascara wand out of its case with a pop as he held my gaze in the mirror.
“You can see it like that,” he said, stalking toward me. “Or you can see it as hanging out with a friend and having fun.”
Before Noah had gone to New York, we would have gone to brunch without me second-guessing it. But at that time neither of us had seen the other naked. Could hanging out be a part of a casual sexual relationship? I was pretty sure spending time with a non-boyfriend who was the best sex that you’d ever had, and who was still the only man who could turn your legs to jelly with a single glance wasn’t a healthy idea. But if he was just a friend?
All these lines around me were becoming blurred. The only thing that was clear was that I wanted to hang out with him. When he teased me, there was always an undertone of affection in the way he did it. And when I did it back, he seemed to revel in it. He made me laugh, and I enjoyed the way I could elicit a chuckle from him. So maybe one brunch would be okay.
“Okay, brunch—but I have two conditions.”
His gaze flitted through the room.
“What are you looking for?”
“Paperwork. I’ll have to sign something, right? It is brunch, after all. And we might have to refer to said conditions during the course of the next couple of hours.”
“You’re an arse.”
He dipped his head to the curve between my neck and my shoulder and placed a kiss. “Maybe. Tell me your two conditions,” he mumbled against my skin.
“Well, first, you have to make a donation to the center. We’re a little off our target for this month.”
He flopped back onto my bed. “You want me to pay you to hang out with me?”
“I don’t see you asking anyone else to brunch. And you want free rein to make fun of me.”
“And number two?”
“You’ll have to tell me what to wear.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m not bothered by what you wear.”
“But you know how clueless I am about these things, and how little I care.”
He headed into my wardrobe. “You have a Stranger Things t-shirt. That’s so . . .”
“Geeky, I know.”
He poked his head around the door. “I was going to say cool. It’s a great show.”
“Such a great show.”
“So wear this and some jeans.”
“Noah! I can’t go out in that. That’s stuff I wear at home. You see? This is what I mean. I have the stuff I hang around the house in, and stuff I go to work in. But there’s nothing in between.”
“Why wouldn’t you go out in a t-shirt and jeans? You look phenomenal in jeans. That arse was made for tight denim.”
“Pervert.”
“And a cool t-shirt gives me a reason to stare at your chest, so from my perspective it’s a winning outfit.”
I growled at him. “You’re not being very helpful.”
Despite my semi-protestation, I pulled on the clothes he’d picked out and we headed to brunch.
“You let your driver have the weekends off after you’ve worked him twenty-four hours a day during the week?” I asked as I climbed into the passenger seat of his black Range Rover. “Very generous.”
“Is me having a driver weird to you?” he asked, slamming the door shut and pressing the ignition.
“What do you mean, weird?”
“Do you see me differently? You know . . . because of the money.”
I shrugged. “It’s not like you’re wearing thick gold chains and refusing to drink anything but Cristal.”
He winced as he concentrated on the road. “That tequila I bought was a little showy.”
Showy? Who had he been showing off for? The bar staff? Me? “It tasted good, but I’m not the best judge. It could have been a tenner a bottle for all I know. Your suits are a little nicer, and I haven’t seen your new place, but you seem the same.” As I tried to reassure him, it occurred to me that he was exactly the same guy. The guy who seemed to go through women like they were disposable adjuncts to his life. The one I’d had a crush on so deep I was clambering for ways to stop it developing again. Why was I on my way to brunch with him after a night of a thousand orgasms? I’d told myself casual sex was the way I’d inoculate myself against him, get over him. I had a feeling I’d been kidding myself. He hadn’t changed and neither had I. So why were we here? It was like I was inviting trouble.
“No, you haven’t,” he said. “We should change that. What are you doing tonight?”
“Change what?”
“The fact that you’ve never seen my place. I always come to yours. So, come over. Tonight.”
He wanted to hang out again tonight? I should be flattered, but I knew I needed to push those feelings away. I couldn’t trick myself into thinking this was developing into something more than it was. It wasn’t as if Noah was going to wake up one day and decide I was the woman he’d been waiting for.
“I think brunch is enough for one day.”
He chuckled as he pulled into a parking space. “I’ll convince you by the time you’ve ordered.” Noah had never lacked confidence. And why would he? He’d probably never had a woman knock him back. I’d only said no at the wedding because I could spot danger a mile away.
“This okay?” he asked as I glanced up at the building we were about to enter.
“Sure,” I said. I freaking knew I shouldn’t have worn this t-shirt. London wasn’t the sort of city that everyone had to dress up in, but if we were going to a fancy five-star hotel, I could have at least managed a blouse or something.
“You’re gorgeous. Stop stressing.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. Before I knew it, I was sitting at a linen-covered table, three wine glasses and seventeen sets of cutlery presented in front of me.
“I thought brunch was meant to be casual,” I hissed at him as our impossibly beautiful waitress gave us oversized menus.
“There’s an option for unlimited champagne. How formal can it be? Anyway, the food’s good and so is the view.”
Through the huge windows, the Thames stretched out, a silvery pond between the buildings, and the millennium wheel sat stark against the bright blue sky. “Do you miss New York?” I asked. I wanted to know more about what had happened there. Had brunch become part of his routine while he was over there? How many women had he sat across from on a Sunday morning after ravaging their bodies the night before?
“Urm . . .” He glanced down at the menu and then set it down. “No. It was time to move on. I did what I set out to do and I was ready to leave.”
No, Noah hadn’t changed at all. He’d always liked a challenge. A project. An end date. It seemed to be the same in his relationships. “And you’re happy to be back in London?”
He stretched out his legs, his denim sliding against mine. “London is
home. But it’s an adjustment, especially as I don’t know exactly what’s next.”
“Oh, how did your meeting go at the center? Do you think you’ll end up doing something charitable?”
He grinned, his smile taking over his face. “You know, I’m not sure, but I think I want to combine business with philanthropy. As you know, my money won’t make a difference on its own. Healthcare requires billions.”
“And all you’ve got is a measly fifteen million.”
“Noah?”
I snapped my head around as a blonde woman approached our table.
“I thought it was you,” she said, her American accent as strong as the expensive perfume she wore. She, at least, was dressed appropriately for this place. Her skin-tight black trousers showed off a model-thin figure. Her shoes, although flat, were Chanel, as was the handbag slung across her body.
Noah stood and greeted her with a hug. “Ginny, good to see you. What are you doing in London?”
“If I said I was following you, would you take out a restraining order?” She laughed a little too loudly. “Just kidding.”
I glanced between them. If I didn’t know him as well as I did, I wouldn’t have noticed the unease that settled in his eyebrows, jaw, and forehead.
“I’m just over for work and having brunch with a few girlfriends. I’d invite you over, but no doubt you’d end up taking one of them home. Oh! Actually, Lydia is here and you know her very well.” She paused and turned to me. “Sorry.”
Was she trying to upset me? Get me jealous? Apparently, in this restaurant alone, there were three of us who Noah had seduced, seen naked, and shared orgasms with.
My stomach churned, and all I could focus on was the fact there was a list of women Noah had been with, and at some point he’d be done with me and discard me too. I didn’t want to be a name on a list. Someone Noah used to bang.
I should never have come here today. It wasn’t the kind of thing that kept things casual between us. I only had myself to blame.
“This is my good friend, Truly,” Noah said.
