by Louise Bay
I smiled from where I sat. “Hi.”
“Well, it’s great to see you, Noah. I won’t interrupt. Ciao, for now.” She gave me a little wave and twirled off toward a table of six women, all of them ten times more beautiful and glamorous than me.
I stared at my menu as Noah took his seat.
“I met her in New York,” he said.
“I gathered,” I replied, not looking up. I’d lost my appetite.
“Have you decided what you’re going to order?” he asked.
I placed my menu down. “Yeah, nothing. I’m not hungry. I’m going to go.”
“Hey, you promised me brunch.”
“Yeah, sorry, I forgot I have to catch up on something in the office. Stay and have lunch with Ginny.” I nodded toward the table where she sat. “I need to go.” I grabbed my bag from the back of my chair and stood.
“What? I don’t want to have brunch with Ginny or Rob or whoever else you suggest. I want brunch with you.”
Oh God, what he was saying was exactly what I wanted and everything that was bad for me. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“What’s the matter?” He followed me as I headed to the exit.
“Nothing. I just remembered I had something to do.”
“Did Ginny upset you?”
I shook my head as we stepped out onto the street. “No, of course not. Why would she have?” I reached out to hail a cab.
“For God’s sake, I’ll take you to the office if that’s where you’re headed. But please stay. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing.” In an effort to be convincing, I forced a smile. “I’ll see you around,” I said as a cab pulled up.
I shouldn’t have been upset. We all had a past, and Noah had never lied about his. I knew who he was and what he was capable of when it came to relationships and how he saw me. I was angry at myself that I was so uneasy at being in a restaurant with at least two of Noah’s ex-lovers. This was meant to be casual, but what I felt for Noah wasn’t, despite me trying to convince myself otherwise. I’d been an idiot, and I needed some space away from him so I could organize my thoughts, breathe, decide what I was going to do. Already I was in too deep. And if I wasn’t careful, I was going to drown.
TWENTY-FIVE
Noah
I pulled a beer out of the fridge and took a seat next to Rob on the sofa with a sigh. I’d hoped Truly would be at Abigail and Rob’s when I dropped around.
I still wasn’t sure what had happened to make her ditch me at brunch. I’d tried to call her, but she hadn’t picked up. And the few messages that I’d sent had been met with a combination of silence and one-word responses.
“What does it mean if a woman goes cold on you?” I asked aloud, then wished I hadn’t as Rob shifted, a smile curling his lips.
“Who’s gone cold on you? I didn’t think that was possible.”
“I’m talking hypothetically.”
“Yeah, of course you are. Tell Uncle Rob all your worries.” He shuffled in his seat to face me.
“I don’t have worries. Not with women. Not with anything.”
Rob took a sip of his beer, content with my response. He knew it was true. Except while it wasn’t exactly a worry, I struggled to understand what had happened with Truly.
“So if I take a woman to brunch. We’re there, everything’s perfectly fine until . . . another woman approaches.”
“Did she throw a drink at you?”
“Who? The woman I was at brunch with?”
“No, the one who approached your table. She was an ex, I assume.”
“Yeah. We weren’t serious. Only lasted a couple of weeks. But no, no drinks were thrown. We exchanged a few words, it was all perfectly amicable and then all of a sudden T—the woman I was with decided she had to leave.”
“Did she say why?”
“She’d forgotten she had to do something at work, which was clearly bullshit because it was Sunday, right?”
Rob nodded. “Yeah. Unless . . . did she get a phone call or message or anything?”
“Nope. Everything was fine. One minute we were flirting. The next minute—boom she’d left.”
“Was this other woman who approached you flirting? Were you flirting back?”
I grimaced. “No!” The idea that I would flirt with Ginny was crazy. I’d never embarrass Truly like that.
“Maybe she thought you were.”
Truly was no idiot. Could she have been jealous of some woman who meant nothing to me? I didn’t pretend to be celibate, and I’d told her that Ginny was from New York. Even if I was dating Ginny, it had been Truly’s idea not to have monogamy as part of our arrangement anyway. Jealousy didn’t make sense. Ginny was firmly in my past. I was at brunch with Truly because she was who I wanted to be with. There was no one else I’d rather spend time with.
Shit. I’d not thought about it like that before. Truly was the person I wanted to spend my Sunday with. Wanted to spend every night with. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt like that about any woman. But then I’d never fucked a friend before.
A knock at the door and my heart began to pound. It had to be Truly. Who else called around on a Monday night? I could ask her face-to-face if it was her, clear this up between us.
“That’s Lev,” he said, getting up.
“Your brother?”
“Yeah. He’s passing through on his way to . . .” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “No idea.”
I’d met Levison a couple of times. Once at university when he’d come to visit, and another time at Rob and Abigail’s wedding. My main impression was that he was a cocky little shit who acted as if he was Rob’s older brother rather than five years younger.
“Hey,” I said, getting up as he came into the room. He was taller than I remembered, dressed in an expensive suit which he filled out well—he’d been quite lanky back when I’d last seen him.
“Noah, I wasn’t expecting to see you. Congratulations on the float of Concordance Tech.” We shook hands, his grip firmer than I expected, an expensive watch on his wrist. “You bumming around for a bit?”
“Working on a few things. What are you up to?”
“Private equity. Set up my own fund.”
That was impressive at any age, but before thirty? “Going well?”
“Harder you work, the bigger the reward, right?” he said. “We should talk. Have a meeting. See what we can do together.”
Rob pushed a beer into his brother’s hand. “Enough of the office talk, Lev. I want to relax, not watch a pissing contest.”
Lev was no competition as far as I was concerned.
“We were talking about women,” Rob said as Lev shrugged off his jacket.
“Well, if we’re not going to talk about work—and there’s no way Arsenal are going to be the topic of conversation—then women it is. Speaking of, where’s that delicious Truly? I’ve not seen her in over a year.”
The hairs on the back of my neck rose. Of course, he’d know Truly. I guessed they were family and saw each other regularly. When I’d approached her at the wedding reception, she’d been talking to Lev, who’d clearly been hitting on her despite the fact he’d been seventeen.
“Is she seeing anyone?” Lev asked.
I not only wanted to confirm that she was, I wanted to shout that I was the lucky bastard who got to see her naked. But as Truly had clearly set out in neat, black handwriting on crisp, white paper—rule one of our relationship was that Rob and Abigail didn’t find out about us.
“You know what she’s like,” said Rob. “Married to the job.”
“Like her sister,” Lev said and despite my irritation, I couldn’t help but chuckle at him baiting Rob.
“Abigail isn’t married to work. She’s not been in the office for weeks.”
“Whatever. We all know what her priorities are. I’m not sure you’re even top five.”
Rob went to protest but Lev held up his beer bottle. “But, to be fair, you’re still punching above your weight with
her, so good on you.” Lev was the better looking of the two brothers and clearly had no difficulty with women. Truly’s smile flashed in my head, and my pulse began to throb in my neck. Was Lev going to make a play for Truly? He wasn’t clever enough for her, wouldn’t appreciate how beautiful she was. I bet he was the type of guy just to concentrate on what was on the outside. But as beautiful as Truly was, her personality and character were what made her special. He’d never get it.
“You’re a dick,” Rob said. “I don’t see you married to someone more beautiful.”
“You’re right,” Lev said. “I’m not. You did well there.” He grinned.
He could have dug the knife in deeper. I’d expected him to say something about not buying the cow while he was getting milk for free, but maybe he wasn’t as much of a dickhead as I remembered. “I should go upstairs and say hello. I bought her this, actually.” He pulled out a paperback from his jacket pocket and held up a copy of Less than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis.
“She’ll love it,” Rob said.
“I know Truly’s the reader, but I thought this would suit Abigail. She could have been one of these kids.” He slid it onto the coffee table.
Christ, that was nice. Thoughtful. Perhaps he wasn’t the cocky little shit that I remembered. And he’d clearly made a bit of money since I’d last seen him. And he knew Truly was a reader. How well did he know her exactly?
There was another knock at the door, but this time I knew it was Truly. Somehow, I could just tell. I could feel her nearby.
Rob scowled, but got up to get the door.
I smelled coconut as soon as the door opened. Maybe the sound of her voice triggered some kind of Pavlovian response in me.
“Noah and Lev are here.” Rob’s faint voice tripped down the corridor followed by the unmistakable sound of silence.
“Truly?” Lev jumped to his feet. “Is that you?”
She appeared at the doorway, taking a breath as if preparing for something. “Hey,” she said with a grin I hoped she was having to work at.
Lev scooped her up in a hug, lifting her off her feet, and I wanted to peel him off her and shove him back onto the sofa while I took my time, lifted her hair, and pressed my lips to that curve between her neck and shoulder that felt so much like home.
But of course, I didn’t. I sat, gripping my beer bottle, wondering how much pressure it would take before it shattered.
“God, you look more perfect every time I see you,” Lev said, setting her down but keeping a hold of her hand. “Are you seeing anyone? Let me take you to dinner.”
Jesus Christ, who was this guy? He didn’t get to date Truly.
She answered with a grin. “You just get more charming every time I see you.”
Truly’s gaze slid to mine, tentative and unsure as though she didn’t want to look directly at me. “Hi,” she said, her voice breathy and her gaze hitting me in my solar plexus. Whatever had got under her skin on Sunday was still clearly there. She took a tentative half step toward me and I closed the gap, sliding my hand around to her lower back and placing a peck on her cheek.
As she tilted her head to accept my kiss, her fingers scraped against my abs as if touching me was her right. It inflated my heart so much it knocked against my ribs.
Yeah, Lev. She’s mine. Claimed.
I wanted to stay there with her, holding her close and out of the reach of anyone else, but she extracted herself and headed to the fridge.
“Anyone want a beer?” She pulled out a bottle of wine and a glass from the cabinet.
The three of us sat, Lev and I watching Truly as if she might disappear if we took our eyes off her. As she knocked the fridge door shut with her hip, Lev sprung to his feet. “Sit here,” he said.
“Actually, I’m going to see Abigail and leave you boys to whatever it was you were talking about before I arrived.”
“Noah was asking for advice about women,” Rob said, clearly proud that anyone would ask his advice about anything.
Truly almost choked as she took a sip of her wine.
Yeah, I wanted to say. I was asking about you.
“And you went to Rob?” Lev said. “Maybe choose your guru better next time.”
Truly smiled and slipped out of the room as I imagined she’d done plenty of times before without my noticing. Except this time, Lev and I watched her leave.
Should I follow her? Catch her before she got to Abigail? I wanted to talk, tell her how much I liked being with her. I’d wanted her to come back to my place. To see that side of me, to see how she looked in my bed. I’d hoped she’d stay and we’d cook and hang out, and I’d get the chance to give her a foot rub that might turn into something else.
I groaned. What was wrong with me?
“You okay?” Rob asked. “You’re acting really weird.”
“Yeah, I just finished my beer,” I said getting to my feet. Now that I was here, there was no way I was leaving before Truly.
Not while Lev was still here, drool dripping from his chin.
But much as I hated to admit it, Lev was just one man in a city of millions. I couldn’t stand between Truly and all of them. I’d not heard any more about her dating, and I’d assumed I was the only man in her life. Maybe I was wrong.
TWENTY-SIX
Truly
I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror and relaxed my face, trying to become expressionless before Abigail saw me and pounced on my dark mood. I padded up the stairs toward my sister’s bedroom. I wanted comfort, reassurance of some kind. I missed my mother most when dark clouds gathered above me. Instead of comfort and understanding, now she only elicited worry and sadness as she slipped further and further away from us into the arms of dementia. Abigail was my only family now.
If I’d known Noah would be here, I wouldn’t have come. Seeing him was always my weakness, and I needed some space and distance. Casual meant uncomplicated sex and him leaving afterward. It didn’t mean seeing each other every night or texts throughout the day. And it definitely didn’t mean brunch. If I’d just followed my instincts and stayed home on Sunday, I wouldn’t have these shadows of disappointment hovering over me.
“Truly,” Abigail said as I put my head around the door.
“Time for a hug?” I asked.
She coaxed me forward with a flap of her hand. “Always. What’s up?”
I crawled onto the bed next to her. “I hope you’re washing these sheets regularly. I never see you out of them.”
“Every other day. I’m driving Rob bananas making him change the bedding so much.”
I tucked into the crook of her arm. “I’m sure he’s only pretending you drive him nuts. He loves looking after you.”
“Oh, there’s no doubt he adores me. Doesn’t mean I don’t irritate the shit out of him.”
I giggled. “You might irritate each other, but you both like being married, right?”
My head rose and fell as she took in a deep breath. “Yes of course. We were so young when we met, but I still really fancy him. Part of it is that I know he’d do anything for me. That loyalty is . . .”
“Unusual,” I finished for her.
“Yeah. He puts me first, you know?”
“Because you’re so special.”
She tightened her grip. “Anyway, why are you asking questions about me and Rob? What’s up with you? You seem a bit down.”
“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about what you were saying about my life being one-dimensional. I’m usually so focused on the foundation because what we do is important, but maybe you’re right. Maybe there’s more out there for me.” What I left out was that during the few weeks Noah and I had been sleeping together, something had changed in me. Given me permission to want more. Instead of being focused on today and what was right in front of me, I’d kinda looked up and around and wondered what was down the road. I knew it could never be Noah, but for the first time in a long time, I wanted something more than the foundation. “But I’m not sure how to do
that,” I continued. “How to make room.”
“You make room for me and Rob, so you know how to do it when you want to.”
Somehow I’d found time to spend with Noah, even if it was around the edges of the rest of my life. “That’s true. It’s easy not to think about it though because . . . it’s scary, you know?”
“What is?”
“Spending your time on things, not knowing whether or not it’s worth it. Or if you’ll be good at something.” It wasn’t just speeches that were out of my comfort zone. Relationships were too.
“Sometimes you can just have fun, you know. You don’t have to make every minute count.”
“I’m not sure I’m good at doing things just for fun.”
“Not even sex?”
“Does that count? It’s a really good calorie burner—and exercise is important!”
Abigail laughed and then whispered, “Not the way I’m doing it at the moment. I just lie here like a sack of potatoes.”
“Poor Rob.”
“What I’m saying is that not everything in life has to have meaning—it’s not like that. Nobody lives like that. Most of the time Rob and I are dealing with domestic, boring stuff.”
“But you’re each other’s family. It’s different.”
“But how do you find someone who might become your family without trying different people out and just doing the fun bits together?”
“So, you’re saying you’re in favor of what? Drugs? Casual sex?” I was pretty sure she wouldn’t approve of me having casual sex with Noah.
Abigail giggled. “Yes, casual sex is fun. I’m totally on board with that. But I’m also in favor of you dating someone who might become part of our family one day. Someone who will worship you like Rob does me. Someone who thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and can’t wait to get home to see you every night. But you have to meet men to see if any of them measure up.”
I grumbled into the pillow. The problem was I wanted someone who wasn’t Noah to be Noah. Someone who could make me feel the way he did. Wanted. Desired. Despite being a geek and not knowing what to wear or how to act in front of strangers. Noah seemed to like me despite all that stuff. Maybe even because of it.
