Logan's Leap

by JJ Ellis

  “Yeah, yeah I have,” he cut in. “Are you sure? I don’t want to do anything that reminds you of…him."

  “It won’t. Reggie had no qualms about hurting me. I trust you not to do that,” she said softly as she moved closer to him. “Kiss me Logan, please.”

  He leaned in and caressed her face before capturing her lips in a deep, all consuming kiss. “I can’t love you, Sleeping Beauty, but I can say that my chest aches when I think about not seeing you again.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said looking into his eyes. “But it’s the only way.”

  “I know,” he murmured. “Kiss me again. I want to remember everything about you when you are gone.”

  She pulled Logan as close as she could and kissed him with everything she had. Their hands explored each other’s bodies as if it may be the last time they ever touched. Logan released her lips and spread kisses down her neck and chest, stopping to tease each breast.

  “Oh Logan,” she sighed. “I need you.”

  “Turn around and hold onto the counter, Sleeping Beauty.”

  While she did as he asked, he reached for the condom and slipped it on. His focus switched back to her and her glorious, round backside. His hands started at her hips and worked down over her butt cheeks, caressing and kneading. With his right hand still on her, he reached for the small container of lube. Spreading her cheeks slightly, he put the bottle near her tailbone and squeezed, watching it slide down. He could barely breathe at the sight. Finally, he was going to get to be inside of her. He would know what it was like to do something so intimate, so reliant on her trust. It surprised him to realize that he’d been craving that intimacy. “I’m going to touch you now,” he murmured as he ran his hand up and down over her. He slipped one finger inside, moving gently to get her used to the feeling of it. When she moaned and completely relaxed, he slid a second finger inside, moving them in and out, in a circular motion. Finally scissoring his fingers to stretch her more. Her body seemed to remember and she moaned. “Another one, now please.”

  Logan entered her with a third finger, moving in and out then twisting back and forth. Jayna was whimpering now. “Do you think you’re ready?” he asked breathlessly.

  “Yes. Please,” she whimpered.

  Logan grabbed the lubricant again and dribbled some over himself, three agonizing strokes and he was covered. He squeezed a bit more on Jayna and put it back on the counter. He rested one hand on each cheek and eased her open. “You’re in control sweetheart. Push back onto me whenever you’re ready,” he said resting the head at her opening.

  Jayna took him in just an inch before pulling away. She repeated this torturous play, taking him in a bit more each time. He moaned at the pleasure of watching himself slide in and out. “Fill me up Logan,” she breathed. “Please.”

  He held her hips and pushed in inch by slow inch. He would stop when Jayna tightened up and continued when she relaxed. Soon he was enveloped by her and began to move comfortably in and out. “Look at us in the mirror sweetheart. I love watching the pleasure on your face.”

  She looked in the mirror at his handsome face. He was happy. She saw something close to love in his expression and knew that it was because she had found a way to give herself to him. It was the ultimate turn on for her, and her breathing increased as she moved back against him. “Oh Logan,” she murmured. One of her hands left the counter and slipped between her legs as she encouraged him to increase his pace.

  “Jesus, Jayna! This is so perfect. You are so absolutely, fucking perfect.”

  Her smile met his gaze in the mirror but she was speechless with the pleasure she felt.

  His hard, even thrusts pushed her forward even though he held her hips tightly. He felt the tension build in her body and knew she would soon call out his name. Within moments, as she went limp against the counter, his name slipped from between her lips in a tortured whimper. With one last quick, deep stroke he came too.

  Reaching out, he pulled her up to lean back against him. Their eyes met in the mirror. Jayna smiled. “Thank you.”

  He kissed her neck. “No, thank you. I’ll never forget this moment. I will never forget the trust you put in me tonight. Thank you for giving yourself to me when you know I can give you nothing in return.” That was when he noticed the tears sliding down her cheeks. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

  A laugh came through her tears. “You didn’t hurt me, but I’m shaky. I need to sit down.”

  Logan lifted her up and set her on the counter. He stepped between her legs and kissed her. She snuggled into his arms and cried. When her sobs eased, she looked up at him. “Come on, let’s just rinse off." Hopping down off the counter, she pulled him into the shower after her. They washed each other slowly, carefully, and while he was washing her hair, he asked her again. “What’s wrong?”

  “I was happy, Logan,” he heard her say. “I never thought you and I would get to be so…intimate.”

  He pulled her back against him and kissed her shoulder. He hoped it told her how he felt. “Turn around and rinse your hair,” he finally said. “So I take it you’ve decided when you are going to take off?”

  “Yeah," she murmured. “Saturday.”

  “In three days…”

  “Yes,” she confirmed, stepping toward him. “Let’s spend the next few days just having fun together, you, me and CJ.”

  “Okay,” he said, taking her into his arms. “We’ll do anything you want.”

  “Let’s start with a kiss,” she said, leaning back to give him access. Their lips met and they lost themselves in each other.

  CJ cried, bringing them apart. Jayna jumped out of the shower, put on a hotel robe, and ran out to tend to her son.

  When Logan came out of the bathroom he was wearing his sweats, low on his hips and carrying a towel. Jayna was feeding CJ. “Move up, I’ll dry your hair for you."

  Sitting behind her, he quickly towel dried her hair then grabbed the brush off the nightstand. “Can I brush it?” he asked.

  “I’d like that.”

  The baby ate hungrily as Logan slowly worked the knots out of her hair. “It’s gotten so long,” he murmured.

  “Not that it matters now,” she stated. “But would you hate it if I cut it short?”

  “I think you would be beautiful no matter how your hair is done. It might be a good idea to cut it if you plan on disappearing.”

  “Yeah, I had the same idea.”

  “Are you going to dye it too?”

  Jayna shook her head and shifted CJ in her arms. “It’s too much upkeep. Reggie was obsessed with my long blond hair so if it’s short that would help."

  CJ pulled off the breast and started to cry. Out of habit, Jayna handed him over to Logan and hurried to get dressed while she had a free moment.

  “Hey Logan, what should we do for dinner?” she called from the bathroom. “Delivery, take out, or go out?”

  “Little man here is wide awake so I can’t feast on you again,” he said with a smile. “How about we go to that little café down the street.”

  “Sounds good,” she said coming out of the bathroom. “Then we’re going to find a beauty shop that's open late so I can get my hair cut before I chicken out.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” he smiled while putting his t-shirt on. “Grab the diaper bag and CJ, and I will meet you in the SUV.”

  **********

  Logan and Jayna were both full from their meals and CJ was asleep in his stroller as they walked down the street toward a Quick Cut Hut chain. They offered haircuts for only ten bucks. The closer they got, the more nervous Jayna became.

  “You don’t have to do this, you know?” Logan said, pulling her to a stop. “You could always just dye it or wear a wig, or put it up.”

  “I know,” she agreed. “But cutting it just seems like the better option. I can always grow it back… over the next ten years.”

  Logan couldn’t help but smile. “It’s your choice, just make sure you are a hundred percent
with it before you get it done."

  Jayna took a deep breath in then let it out in small spurts. “Bye, bye long hair.”

  “Alright, let’s do this!” Logan said, opening the door to the shop.

  They signed her in then sat down to wait her turn. She picked up a few books with various short hairstyles in them and as she leafed through, her hands started to shake.

  “All of these are so drastic,” she muttered. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Those are all really short,” Logan offered. “How about something like this?” He showed her the book he was looking through and a smile spread across her face.

  “I like it!” she exclaimed. “I think I could live with this.”

  “Well then, it’s decided.”

  Jayna was soon called up and Logan watched her transform from a long-haired beauty into a devastatingly beautiful woman. The haircut was perfect and he had no problems telling her that multiple times on the way back to the hotel. The crushing, burning sensation in his chest returned when he realized that he wouldn’t be with her much longer. He wanted to sneak a picture to remember her by.

  “What are you thinking about with that mischievous smile,” she asked as they walked into the hotel parking lot.

  “About how beautiful you are and about how it will be strange not being able to see your gorgeous face every day.”

  Jayna ducked her head. “You’re just saying that…but thank you.”

  Logan stopped her just outside of their hotel room. “I’m not just saying that,” he insisted. “No matter where you go, always remember that you were someone’s Sleeping Beauty.”

  “Oh Logan,” she whispered, moving into his embrace. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “It will be hard on everybody I think.”

  “Can we go in now,” she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I really just want to sleep.

  ”

  Chapter 11

  The next few days were spent together, enjoying every last minute with each other. On the last night before Jayna was to leave, a package arrived for Logan and he turned the contents over to her. “Here is everything you’ll need to start a new life, Sleeping Beauty.”

  Jayna looked through the contents of the box, pulling out ID’s and other identity paraphernalia for her and CJ. “But how…”

  “Let's just say that my cousin’s best friend’s brother was a very bad influence on us during summer visits. Large sums of money can make it come faster.”

  “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you,” she whispered, tears in her eyes.

  “You won’t. You don’t owe me anything.”

  “Thank you,” she sobbed.

  “You’re welcome my Sleeping Beauty. Here, take this,” he said pulling a couple of envelopes out of his back pocket. "Fifteen thousand dollars should get you a decent start. I’m sorry it couldn’t be more but it’s all I had quick access to.”

  “No Logan. I can’t…”

  “You can. You have to. There is no way to rent a place or buy food and clothes without money,” he reminded her. “Take it.”

  She reached out tentatively and took the money. “Thank you.”

  “So, tomorrow I’ll drop you off at the airport and you two start your new life?”

  “Yeah,” she murmured, tears falling from her eyes. “I guess it can’t hurt to tell you this now, but I want you to know that I love you Logan. I did what I said I wouldn’t do. I fell in love with you. I started to want more than just physical release.”

  He pulled her to him and held her tight. It was the first time he had realized that she would be hurting through all of this too. They had grown close and she had fallen in love. “Let’s go to bed now, Sleeping Beauty.”

  “Will you hold me?” she asked in a whisper.

  “Of course,” he answered. The burning pressure in his chest was now the worst it had ever been.

  **********

  “Jayna, CJ’s awake. It’s your turn to get him,” Logan mumbled without opening his eyes. CJ continued to cry and Logan blindly got up and went to the crib. Poor Jayna must have been exhausted from crying herself to sleep. When he turned away from the crib, CJ in his arms, the emptiness of her side of the bed loomed large. A white envelope was propped on her pillow. A feeling of foreboding washed over him and a new pain settled into his abdomen.

  Walking over to the bed, he sat down and grabbed the envelope. It wasn’t sealed so he pulled the paper out of it and read.

  Logan

  I’m so very sorry to do this to you, but I’ve realized that CJ and I would never be safe together. Reggie will be looking for two of us. And stop right there, I know what you are thinking. Reggie won’t care if he knows you have the baby with you. He doesn’t want him. He only wants me. When he found out that I was pregnant he told me that he thought the baby would be a burden. He tried to convince me to get an abortion and when it was too late, he decided he would try to force me into adoption.

  CJ is yours now. There are any number of things you could tell our friends and family. Please take care of him. I don’t want anyone else to take him. You have to promise me that you won’t give him up.

  My heart is breaking as I write this but I can see no other way. Please make sure Charles Joseph Harper never forgets me.

  P.S. There is breast milk in the mini-fridge and in Julia’s deep freeze. There is also a large stash in the deep freeze at the hunting cabin. When it’s gone just switch to formula.

  I love you both

  Jayna

  Logan folded the letter and put it back in the envelope where he came across a picture of Jayna and CJ together. “Damn it!” he snapped, walking over to the mini-fridge to get the extremely fussy baby a bottle.

  Once the baby was fed, changed and put back to bed, Logan sat down to think. His mind raced in a million different directions. Finally, he just pulled out his phone and opened a text to the phone he’d bought Jayna when they were taking turns with the baby at the hospital.

  “Jayna, what the hell? Your son needs you. Please come back. We’ll figure out something to keep you both safe. There has to be another way.”

  He never truly expected an answer from her but later that day when he and CJ were making the rounds at the bus station, car rental places and the airport looking for someone who may have seen Jayna, his phone buzzed with a text from her.

  "Logan, I’m sorry. This is the way it has to be. I don’t want to leave my sweet baby, but I know he will be safe and loved by you and your family. Please don’t text me again. Every time I see your name the horrible thing I did to my own flesh and blood hurts more.”

  Logan was furious now. It usually wasn’t something that happened to him, but at that moment he was seething. He hit reply. “Good. You deserve to hurt more. You need to hurt enough that you come home to us.”

  A few minutes later, Jayna replied. “Please, Logan.”

  Out of ideas, he put his phone away and hooked CJ into his seat. They headed back to the hotel. The next day he would try hotels, bed and breakfasts, and lodges. After that – he wasn’t so sure what he would do.

  **********

  Three days after Jayna disappeared, Logan decided to give up the search in Billings. She was probably long gone. It was then that he decided to head home. He would stop at the cabin and make sure everything was left as he’d found it, and then it would be time to go to Harper’s Rock and introduce the world to his son. There was no way he could ever give him up to strangers. How in the hell had he become so attached to another human being?

  The trip to the cabin was uneventful mainly because CJ slept the whole way. When he pulled up, he noticed a small, old car parked off to the side. Who in the hell could it be? His brother was still in the hospital so there wouldn’t be any hunting expeditions that season. He couldn’t even go in armed because he had the baby with him.

  Unhooking CJ, he took him out of the seat and walked quietly to the front door. He turned the knob but the cabin was locked up
tight. His keys were still in his hand allowing him to unlock the door easily. When they walked in, it was obvious that someone was living there and all of a sudden he thought he knew who it was.

  Rushing upstairs, he took them two at a time. When he got to the top, she was lying there asleep with a bandaged foot propped up on pillows. His Sleeping Beauty was there.

  CJ started to fuss and squirm around. He knew his mama was there. Logan took him over to the bed and laid him next to her. His hungry wails brought her awake and she broke down in tears. Immediately, she reached out and brought him close. “Oh, I missed you sweet baby.”

  "He missed you too. It’s about lunch time for him.”

  “Feed him a bottle,” she said looking away. “He can’t get used to me again. I’m still leaving.”

  Logan laughed harshly. “Feed him or find a way to make him stop crying. It doesn’t look like you’re too mobile right now.” He turned and headed down the stairs.

  “Logan no! Please,” he heard her cry out. He just kept walking and went into the kitchen to make lunch for himself and Jayna. By the time he had all of the ingredients out of the refrigerator and cupboards, the baby had stopped crying.

  Logan carried the tray into the loft and set it on the bed. “You ready to burp, my man,” he said, taking CJ from Jayna. “Start eating, he can have more when you’re done. You look like hell.”

  “Gee thanks,” she murmured as she started eating. “You’d look like hell too if you could barely stay on your feet long enough to get food.”

  “What the hell happened?” he asked as he paced the floor with the baby. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

  Jayna rolled her eyes as she finished chewing a bite. “That was the plan. But I came back here to get a few things I hid in the closet and when I was three steps from the bottom of the stairs, I tripped. It’s kind of hard to drive when you can’t put much pressure on your right foot."