Mister Distraction (Distraction #2)

by Stephanie Jean

  I hopped out of the Jeep. Bo jumped out, landing in a puddle and splashing me with mud. My whole backside was drenched, starting at my t-shirt and running all the way down my pants, and that was how my frickin’ day was going. “Fuck!” I yelled as I shook my head, attempting to get the mud out from my hair. Bo sulked away and I was too grumpy to care. I whipped around aggressively, and Jenny was standing there.

  “Hey.” She glanced at me, intimidated by my outburst. “I’ll get you a towel.” She disappeared, and I had the sudden urge to get in my Jeep and hit the gym. My agitation was at an all-time high, and I couldn’t stand even faking a smile. She ran back as I was removing my shirt and stuck her hand out to take it. I handed it to her and snatched the towel. I was in no mood for her ogling.

  “I bought dinner for us,” she said while smiling, and I think I grunted as I stormed into the barn and tossed the muddy towel against a bundle of hay. I walked over to the horse, fishing through my work bag to grab a surgical cover. I put it on and moved around the horse. Jenny returned and sat behind me.

  “I put your shirt in the washer. I went to town earlier and got us Taco Bell.” I laughed out loud and Jenny just stared at me. Katarina was everywhere, and even though she wasn’t right in front of me, I felt her presence all around me. She pulled out burritos and started eating, but there was no way I could eat. I completely lost my appetite.

  “So, the horse is ready; she’s due any minute.” I slipped off the surgical cover and sat in the hay. Jenny finished her burrito and sat with me. I was reminded of a time when Jacy fell off her horse while running through the pond. I told Jenny the whole story, starting with how she begged me to watch her new obstacle course until the moment her horse jumped in the water, and she bounced off right into the pond. It was really funny. Her confidence deflated as she crawled out of the cold water. I was there to laugh with her about it. Jenny was laughing with tears in her eyes. To know Jacy, and how perfect everything was that she did, for her to make such a humbling mistake was funny.

  I saw movement in the corner of my eyes and looked up to see Katarina. At first I thought I was dreaming, like I missed her so fucking much I was starting to see her everywhere, but as she moved closer, I jumped up. My legs took off in a hurry to intercept her path.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” She was really here, and she smelled so good.

  “I brought you some cookies.” She what? I tried to read her, but she had her poker face on. It was a proper smile, but I already knew it was a mask.

  “I thought maybe you were upset with me. You hung up yesterday.” I was giving you space. She started to come back to me as her eyes danced across my face, searching for something.

  “Katarina?” What is it? What is she looking for?

  “I’m sorry,” she said, snapping out of her daze. “I’m okay, Jason. I just wanted to bring the cookies by, and now I’ll say goodbye. It looks like you’re busy, and I don’t know anything about horses. Plus, I am overdressed.” I glanced down at my body, unsure again what she was talking about.

  Jenny was nudging me, and to get her to stop I grabbed the cookie she held out for me. I shoved it in my mouth and she stopped. Thank God. The nudging was driving me insane. I watched as Katarina’s face fell, and pure sadness washed over her. What the fuck?

  “Are you okay? Shit, Katarina, I don’t like the look on your face.” Jenny left my side, and I tossed the cookie she’d handed me aside and moved slowly toward my princess.

  “I’m fine.” She wasn’t though. I could read it all over her beautiful face. There was heavy commotion behind me. Jenny was calling out for me. I glanced over my shoulder at the mare. It was happening right now. I was being pulled in two.

  “Are you going home?” She looked torn between wanting to say something and wanting to run. I wasn’t sure what she thought was going on here, but she was mine, and I was only hers.

  “You’re thinking. Please don’t.” I stepped closer, just inches from her, and she was my scared rabbit again, agile and ready to run and hide in her hole. I was scared to touch her or talk too loudly, but she was the only thing that mattered anymore, and I felt like I was taking huge steps back. I needed to be completely alone with her. Everything was perfect when we were alone. She was mine to hold and to love.

  “Yes, Jason, I am going home.” I gave her my ‘that a girl’ smile and wrapped my arms around her. She smelled great. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. I missed her so much. My body didn’t want to let go, but my mind felt victorious for setting her free. She came back to me, just like the poem said. I heard Jenny yelling for me, her voice nervous and anxious, and I let Katarina go. I let her go to deliver the horse. She could stay and watch. I would show her why I loved horses so much. What a miracle it was to see them born. How beautiful these creatures were, just like her. They held grace and elegance without effort. But in the end, I wanted her to want to stay, without me asking.

  It was all over in fifteen minutes. I stayed and helped Jenny clean everything, but left after about twenty minutes after that. I looked for Katarina, hoping she’d decided to stay, but she was gone. I passed William on the way out and shook his hand.

  “Hey, William. I would love to chat, but I’ve got to take off.” He kept a tight hold of my hand.

  “She’s not what I expected.” I gave him a ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ stare. “Katarina, she seems nice, and we had a nice little conversation…well, I talked mainly, and she listened.” His words echoed in my head, and the realization that Katarina was aware that I knew her since she was twelve and never said anything was all I could think about.

  “What the fuck did you say to her? William?” I read everything I needed to know in his eyes. He was a fucking prick, and I didn’t stick around for an answer. “Did you enjoy the look of shock she gave you? Fuck, man, you couldn’t just keep your mouth shut?” I shouted as I walked to my Jeep. I didn’t give a shit who heard. William could turn lemons into drama skipping the lemonade part. I steered clear of him in high school because of that one thing; wherever he went drama with a capital D followed. He just fucked up everything I spent the last four months establishing and he acted like it was another day at the office. What an ass!

  I loaded Bo and left the Ronalds’ house, barreling down the country roads as fast as my Jeep would take us. I couldn’t think of anything else after imagining the heartbroken look on Katarina’s face. I wanted to beg her to stay, to order her. I was afraid she was leaving for good, and I was so relieved when she said she was going home. It warmed me, and I calmed when she called it home. I had been surprised to see Bo when I left the barn. I knew how much she enjoyed Bo’s company, and I was shocked that she didn’t take him with her, and suddenly I could only think of her at home alone, thinking about whatever William told her. I called her multiple times while driving the country roads home, and there was no answer. Things were weird between us and I hated it. I knew she was scared when she saw Jenny stroll into the house, but she’d handled it like a pro. It actually made me believe we had a chance to be great together. She trusted me despite my horrible past with women. She knew that I loved her, and that no other woman could take her place for me. The day we spent with my family was one of the best of my life. I closed my eyes, remembering her laughter while she had moved around the house like she belonged there. I remembered watching her sitting with the kids, holding Jasmine, and exchanging recipes with my mom. It was the luckiest I had ever felt.

  I pulled into the driveway up to the house and opened the garage door, expecting to see her car. I let out Bo and walked in, having a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  “Katarina!” I yelled, running through the house. I repeated her name while looking in every corner. I ran upstairs and noticed all her clothes were gone. I fell to my knees when I walked back towards my bed. I put my head in my hands. She tricked me, deceived me. Fuck. I stayed like that on my knees, while my brain ran over every conversation we didn
’t have, words I wished I would have said. My world as I knew it was ending. It was Jacy’s death all over again, except this time, I gave my heart to Katarina. She had the whole heart. I would never recover from this and be…normal. Fuck, I hate that word.

  I finally made it downstairs in search of something hard to drink. I looked around at my spotless kitchen. The only thing out of place was the note on the fridge.

  I felt a headache emerge right between my eyes. I wanted to throw things, kick things. She was gone and all I had left of her was a stupid note. My mind swirled from sadness to anger as I grabbed my keys. I was on a mission to find her and have the talk we never had. I needed to tell her she was mine and she could never leave me. I got in the Jeep and showed up at her apartment 40 minutes later. I watched the gate, waiting for someone to leave so I could sneak in. I didn’t see her car anywhere, but knew this was the only place she would go. I got out of my car when I saw a couple park and get out carrying bags of groceries and bickering about the difference between generic and brand names. I walked in behind them. The man was so distracted by the arguing he actually held the door open for me while balancing his three bags in his arms. I waited patiently for them to disappear into a lower level apartment before sprinting to Katarina’s apartment.

  “Katarina!” I banged my fist on the door. “Katarina, we need to talk. Please, if you are in there, open the door.” There was nothing but silence. I pounded louder and repeated my pleas over and over. I finally stopped when a small hand touched my back. I whipped around expecting to see her, but was disappointed to find Chelsea standing in front of me.

  “Jason, are you okay? Why don’t you come over to my place and we can talk about it.” Her face was full of concern, and I watched her hand retreat from its spot on my arm when I growled at her.

  I moved quickly after that, my own animalistic snarl startling me. I got back in the Jeep and just drove. I showed up in front of Dave’s house. He was the most levelheaded guy I knew—a guy who wouldn’t call me a dumbass. I made my way to the front door and took a deep breath before knocking. I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my arms out. Dave swung the door open wide when he saw me. I stepped in, and he made his way back over to the TV to pause it.

  “Hey, man. What’s up?” He was talking as he opened a beer to hand to me. “You look like shit.” I quickly took the beer and gulped it down like I was in some sort of drinking competition. I slammed the empty bottle down, and I watched as his eyes grew big as he repeated the question. “What’s up?”

  He cracked the bottle cap off another beer and handed it to me. I looked at him as I took the same approach to this drink, and when I finished, I think I saw admiration mixed with shock in his eyes. “Thirsty?” He smiled and grabbed another one. I waved it away, but he opened it and handed it to me anyways. I still couldn’t talk. I took a small sip, starting to feel the effects of the previous beers settling in my stomach. I turned towards the TV. I wasn’t ready to talk about her yet. It would make her absence seem too real.

  “What are you watching?” I was anxious to avoid what was really on my mind.

  “It’s 300; I am almost done.” He moved back towards the TV and sat on the sofa. I noticed his girl asleep on the couch next to him, the blanket pulled up to her chin. I took a longer swig of my beer, thinking about Katarina, hoping she wasn’t somewhere cold. I sat down in the chair beside the couch and he started the movie up again. I watched as the Spartan began to talk to a man with a hunched back, a man who betrayed the Spartan. “I hope you live long,” the Spartan said, and it hit me hard. That hunchback was me, and this was my punishment. I was going to have to live long without Katarina, regretting every day the actions of my past, dwelling on the things I should have said, things I should have done differently. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I stood up, set my unfinished beer on the counter, and made my way to the front door.

  “Hey, man, I can’t let you leave. Not like this.” Dave’s eyes were serious, and he placed his hand on my arm to pull me back. He hesitated, and then slowly withdrew his hand. My eyes were fierce on his. He walked with me as I made my way back to the Jeep.

  “She left, Dave. She’s gone.” I shook my head, trying to clear the thought. His hand landed on my upper arm again, trying to get my attention.

  “Are you sure she left and was not taken again?” His voice was slow in my ears, but once I processed what he just said, I smiled. I am not sure why the idea of her being taken was more appealing than the thought of her outright leaving me, but it was.

  “Thanks, man. I hadn’t thought of that.” I got in my Jeep as his concerned eyes followed me. I backed out of his driveway, glancing at him before I pulled away. He held up his hand to his face, signaling me to call him. I waved and took off down the road. I drove for a long while and ended up at the spot where we had our first outing—the waterfall.

  I got out of the Jeep and took my flashlight. The full moon was bright, but as I hiked towards the waterfall, the trees covered the moonlight and it was pitch black. My adrenaline pumped as I yelled her name, and I ran through the trails until I reached the waterfall. I took a seat on the rock we sat at that day when I held her close, and continued to yell for her in-between trying to catch my breath.

  I hiked back to my Jeep slowly. The journey up the dirt path took twice as long. I used my flashlight to check everywhere I could in the dark. I got back to the Jeep and drove to the maze that we ran through. I ran at first, swearing I heard her giggling and calling out for me to catch her, but I stopped in the middle and sat at a bench, staring at the lights angled towards the animal-shaped bushes and just listened. There was no sound of laughter or breathing. I looked down at my hands. I was shaking, and it wasn’t because I was cold. I shook them out and made my way to my Jeep once again.

  I showed up at my sister’s house. I wasn’t even sure how I got there. It was like I was on autopilot and my body needed rest. I rubbed my eyes and got out. I knew it was early in the morning and Jonah had to work, but I couldn’t sleep alone in my house.

  I knocked on the door and waited. I paced the porch feeling like a crazy person, not knowing what to do or where to go. After I knocked again, I wanted to run, but where would I run to? I put my hands on my face, pulling them down slowly when the door opened.

  “Hey, my brother.” It was Jonah’s way of greeting me, and that was it; he didn’t say any more, just moved aside and let me in. He staggered to the guestroom and opened the door, his hands still rubbing his eyes. “You okay?” He sat at the end of the bed, his head leaning on his hands.

  “Yeah, I just need a place to crash.” I turned my back to him, pacing the length of the room while I spoke, feeling anger spread through my body again. He got up and left the room slowly. I sat on the bed in the same position he’d been in, curled up, and covered my face with my hands. I started to feel my legs and arms again. The adrenaline was starting to wear off. I had small scratches and scrapes all over me from the shrubs and trees I ran into. I liked the pain. It gave me something else to focus on. I needed to get up and take a shower, but it was like the light was killing me. I needed darkness. It was where I felt the most at home when I was alone. I heard my sister’s voice as she came in to sit with me. I tried to control my shaking body.

  “Trouble in paradise?” I felt her weight against me, and all my emotions came flooding to me. I held every tear back and stuffed it all down like I did when Jacy died, but I felt so weak, so tired. I knew if I started to talk right now I would cry like a fucking baby. So I shut up, lay back on the bed on my side, and she rubbed my back like when we were kids and I had bad dreams. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying hard not to think of all I had lost. After all, she’d said she would leave, and this was something I should have prepared for. I was a hopeless idiot, and I had the pain in my heart to prove it. I drifted off to sleep at some point during my pity party. I think it was a mixture of exhaustion and depression.

  Here I was two weeks after my Katarina d
isappeared from my life. I tried to find her, but between her bodyguards and her brother Brian, everything I did was useless. Katarina was impossible to reach, impossible to stalk even. Dark cars took her to and from places and the paparazzi would only get glimpses of her unless she was at a party and the picture was planned.

  I leaned against the bar and scanned the large room. It resembled the Strikers Men’s club in Sacramento, except on steroids. The scene rooms were on the outer edges of the bar. There were twice as many rooms for the sex addicts and sexually extreme clientele. The rooms mirrored the opposite side of the room: every room on one side of the bar decorated in a unique theme. Where bars and chains hung on the wall in one room, a large cross and whips hung in the other. It was fetish style, but all whips and chains. Closer to where I stood were the wax rooms and the examination rooms. The club was geared toward pain, giving and receiving, and I had a front row seat. Well, for the last two nights and tonight, anyway. I offered to help out on Halloween since it brought out the sexual predator in men and the need to make a helpless girl scream went hand in hand. The owner also allowed outside members in to watch the sex play after an interviewing process and completion of paperwork. Seeing the look of horror on a nonmember was priceless and I needed to laugh, it had been two long fucking weeks. My phone rang and it jerked me from my thoughts. The guy on the other end whispered and it was frickin making my eye twitch. “There is someone who is using your name to get into the club. The girl introduced herself as Adeline Covington and then she said her partner’s name was Jason Riggs.” I moved quickly through the lightly lit, hidden security hall to the break room and stood over the sink, looking at myself and turning on the water trying to process what he was saying. I splashed some water on my face.