He rubs his face, looking weary and in pain, just how a man recovering from gunshot wounds ought to. Lifting his drink, he downs the second glass he poured for himself (which consisted of at least three shots of hard liquor). He grabs the bottle of Red Label and his now-empty glass and stands, his legs a little shaky.
He grabs the door handle, then pauses, his back to me. “Don’t try to run,” he warns over his shoulder. “I’d hate to catch you. Enough blood has been spilled today.”
Chapter 21
I got Pestilence shitfaced.
That much is clear by the time I’m done bathing. I find him sprawled out on the couch, the now nearly-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand, his glass nowhere to be found.
When a horseman falls, he falls hard.
His head rolls to me. “You were right,” he says, holding up the bottle. “My mind is altered.”
Well, at least he’s still perceptive.
He stares at the label for a second. “Doesn’t even taste that bad anymore.”
How many hell points did I just gain, getting this guy drunk?
When his gaze returns to me, his eyes drop to my clothes. The look he gives them can’t be complimentary.
I managed to fish out an outfit from the closet in the master bedroom. By all appearances, the owners were an older, well-to-do couple. The man liked his khakis pressed and pleated, and the woman liked her clothes to drape and glitter.
I’m practically swimming in the slinky black top I wear, and I’ve had to cinch the pair of studded purple jeans to within an inch of their life to keep them from sliding off.
It was the best I could do.
I continue past Pestilence, heading for the kitchen, my stomach cramping with hunger. I pass Trixie along the way; the horse has managed to lay himself down in a side room, getting blood all over the owners’ throw rug.
Definitely going to leave this place looking like a crime scene.
The kitchen tile is chilly against my bare feet when I enter the room.
Now to see if this place has anything to eat.
I only have to open the pantry to realize there’s plenty. The deep shelves are nearly spilling over with canned and jarred goods, dried grains, and a staggering stash of liquor. The two of us could hunker down here for a good several weeks if we needed to—not that Pestilence would ever stay stationary for that long.
As I rummage around, grabbing pasta noodles and a can of red sauce, the horseman limps over to a chair in the kitchen. He’s rapidly healing now, the exposed bullet wounds looking more like red, pitted scars than bloody holes. He’s shrugged off his tattered shirt, and his sculpted, tapered torso is now fully on display.
He watches me for a long time, not saying anything as I begin boiling noodles and heating up the pasta sauce (electricity works here, woo!). It’s only after I finish preparing the meal and pull out another bottle of liquor (bourbon this time) that I join Pestilence at the table.
He doesn’t bother going for the plate of pasta I put in front of him, choosing instead to pour himself a generous helping of bourbon. He drinks deeply from it.
Dude’s cruising for a bruising the way he’s going at the alcohol.
He levels his gaze on me. “Why didn’t you leave me?” he asks, looking almost desperate for an answer. “You could have.”
My gut tightens in a queasy way, and I forget that I have a steaming plate of pasta right in front of me.
He keeps circling back to this damn subject. I had hoped he’d let it go.
“Were you afraid I’d find you and hurt you?” Pestilence presses.
I could lie. He probably wouldn’t realize I’d fed him a fib. The only problem is that no good excuse is coming to me.
I open my mouth, then I choose instead to pour myself another drink. What the hell—he’s not doing this sober; I shouldn’t have to either.
Taking several deep swallows, I down the bourbon, then set the empty glass down hard on the table.
“I don’t know,” I answer, pouring myself another drink before I set the bottle aside. “That’s the truth.” I stare at my scabbed wrists. “Back in Vancouver, all I could think of was helping those people who’d been hurt in the chaos.” I take a breath and forge on, my eyes reluctantly rising to his turbulent blue ones. “And once we landed on the beach, all I could think of was helping you.”
He frowns at me. If he was looking for solace in my explanation, I gave him none.
“Why did you come back for me?” I ask. “Back in Vancouver.”
He looks affronted by the question. “You are my prisoner. I do not mean to let you go.”
“You pushed me off your horse,” I state.
His expression gives me nothing.
“You did that so that I wouldn’t get shot, didn’t you?” I ask, peering at him.
If Pestilence is disturbed by the fact that I stayed with him and tended to his wounds (or tried to at least), then I’m most unnerved by the fact that he spared me from pain.
“You’re no good to me dead, Sara.”
“Why is that?” I ask, searching his face. “Why am I alive and here with you while your other attackers lie dead in the streets of Vancouver?”
His mouth tightens. “Because I deemed it so.”
I take another drink of my bourbon. “That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one you’re going to get.”
Damn him, this question is going to drive me mad.
Begrudgingly, I turn my attention to the pasta, swirling my fork in the noodles and scooping up a bite. As soon as it hits my tongue, I take a moment to savor the pasta.
Lord Almighty, I’d forgotten how good food is when you have a little liquor in your system. If I’m not careful, that two weeks’ worth of food is going to be polished off by the end of the night—particularly if everything else tastes as good as this does.
Across from me, the horseman’s gaze is riveted to my mouth. He tears his gaze away to look down at his plate. Lifting his fork, he tries to take a bite himself, but the thin pasta noodles slide uselessly between the metal tines.
I can’t help it, I laugh. Getting up, I come over to his side of the table. He glances at me, his eyes bright and perhaps a little vulnerable. I think the alcohol is getting to us both.
Leaning over his shoulder and trying not to notice how pretty his torso is (for shame, Sara, he’s still hurt), I take the hand that’s holding the fork.
“What are you doing?” he asks, staring at our joined hands. There’s a note in his voice …
“Here, turn your fork like this.” Awkwardly, I maneuver the utensil in a circle. “Then scoop.” I lift the fork, strands of pasta now wrapped around it. “This is how you eat it.”
I can’t see his expression, and he doesn’t say anything in response, so I return to my seat, feeling like I overstepped, which is ridiculous in light of everything the two of us have been through.
Pestilence takes a tentative bite of the pasta. If I was hoping for some sort of amazing reaction, I’m sorely disappointed. He simply glowers at the dish as he chews.
“I shouldn’t be eating this.”
I don’t bother to ask him why not. I already know it’s his weird hang up on “mortal vices.” I think he’s finding out the hard way that despite how willing a horseman’s spirit is, even their flesh is weak.
Speaking of horseman …
“Where are your other three riders?” I ask. This is one of the many questions that haunt the world—where the other three horsemen were. It’s too much to assume that they’re somehow gone; if Pestilence exists, so do the others.
Pestilence pokes at his pasta before tentatively twisting his fork around on his plate. “My brothers still sleep,” he says, frowning as he takes another bite off his plate.
Sleep?
“Uh, when will they wake?”
He doesn’t look up. “When it is time.”
Go figure that even buzzed, Pestilence still manages to answer questions as cryptica
lly as possible.
Despite feeling guilty about partaking in food and drink, the horseman makes quick work of his meal and most of his bourbon.
I move through the liquor considerably slower than him. I’m what you affectionately call a cheap date. If I can stretch my drinks out, I will.
I lean back in my seat. “After you arrived here on earth, did you also sleep?” There were, after all, five years where he was unaccounted for.
He nods, pushing his plate away.
I sort of want to ask him where he managed to sleep for five years undetected.
“Why sleep at all?” Why wait at all?
“There was the possibility …” He trails off, lost in some thought.
“What possibility?” I prod.
He rouses himself. “The possibility that humanity would redeem itself.” He grabs his glass and swirls it. “But alas, not even the End of Days can alter the depraved nature of your cursed kind.”
Ah, this spiel again. Just when I thought the horseman was done harping on humans for a while, too.
Pestilence lifts his cup up and stares at the little liquid that remains, his eyelids looking a little heavy. “This is poison,” he says, out of the blue.
“Mhm,” I agree. I mean, technically, it is.
His eyes slide to me. “Was that your plan all along? To poison me?”
Oh God, and now this poison-business. How idiotic must he think I am to try to poison an undying man?
“You’re the one pouring,” I say.
That logic seems to mollify him. Somewhat.
All of a sudden, Pestilence stands, grabbing his chair and dragging it around the table so that it’s next to mine. He sits on it backwards, unaware of just how sexy my traitorous eyes find him. He gives me one of his piercing stares.
I lean away from him nervously. “What?”
“I don’t know,” he admits. “I feel … something when I look at you.”
My mind flashes back to the bathroom and the heated expression on his face. A blush creeps up my neck, the alcohol making it burn hotter and spread wider than it would if I were sober. I force my eyes to stay on his face when all they really want to do is dip down to his torso.
“I cannot figure out what that something is,” he continues. “And hear me Sara, it is driving me mad.”
Join the motherfucking club. We’re taking applicants.
“You’re human,” he says. “I don’t like your kind. I’m not supposed to like you.”
I don’t breathe for a second.
Don’t ask the question, Burns. Don’t—
“But you do?” I say.
His eyes drop to my mouth. He touches my lower lip with his thumb, rubbing it gently. “God forgive me, I do.”
Chapter 22
I swallow, feeling that unnerving lightness in my belly. This close, Pestilence takes up my entire vision. I can see the remains of the bullet wound just above his collarbone, and his thick golden hair, which is still matted with blood and sea spray. It doesn’t at all take away from the glory of him. I can see the ocean in his eyes, his blue, blue eyes, and the thick lashes that surround them.
And now I’m staring at his mouth and that full upper lip that gives him a perpetually pouty look.
He has no idea how good looking he is. Scratch that—good looking is a term reserved for humans who are attractive, imperfections and all. This inhuman thing, with his angelic features, isn’t good looking, he’s blinding, breathtaking. He’s perfection incarnate. And isn’t that just cosmically unfair? He’s a harbinger of the apocalypse. He doesn’t need to be attractive, but he is.
His eyes continue to take in my lips. There’s something raw and powerful in his expression, like liquor has made him hunger for other forbidden things. Human things.
He moves his thumb over my lower lip again, and I feel that simple touch everywhere.
Lowering his hand, he leans in. I’m not sure he’s even aware that he’s doing it—moving towards the mouth he’s fixated on.
Over the course of our association, I’ve been close to Pestilence, but not like this.
Not like this.
He’s so close our breath is mingling.
My pulse hammers away at me until it’s all I can hear.
Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.
He’s going to kiss me.
That warm flush spreads out from my stomach.
Shouldn’t do this.
Can’t do it.
Won’t.
His hand slides to my neck, tilting my jaw up, his gaze still pinned to my lips.
Our mouths are so very close.
Just one taste, I reason. That’s not so bad, right? Just one taste. No one could blame me for being curious. This horseman is supposedly God’s justice and vengeance. How can I be doing anything wrong if I let His horseman touch me?
I half believe my insane musings. Right now, with the bourbon warming my insides and softening my resolve, I’ll bend just about any logic to let this happen.
Pestilence hesitates. Unlike me, I imagine he might be having one final moment to talk himself out of—rather than into—this.
In that one moment, I come to my senses.
My eyelids lower, and I stare at his lips.
“Please,” I whisper.
The hand on my neck presses into my skin, and then at once, it’s gone.
Spell’s broken.
“Please?” Pestilence pulls away to give me a look of disgust. “You say this to me now?” He runs a hand over his mouth and jaw, then looks around, like he’s waking from a dream.
He stands, and I can only stare up at him. I have nothing to say. No words to ameliorate the situation because I knowingly drove it here.
I begin to stand as well, but Pestilence places a hand on my shoulder to keep me in my seat, almost as though I were now the one pursuing him.
He sighs, suddenly looking every inch as exhausted as he should be, considering the day he had.
“It’s late, Sara,” he says. “You best get some sleep, we ride early tomorrow.”
With that he leaves me and the bourbon and this troubling emotion that I’m pretty sure is regret.
I know I should feel relieved—triumphant even. But, like the Good Book says, though the spirit may be willing, the flesh is, indeed, weak.
Chapter 23
Hangovers are the worst.
The next morning I force down the pancakes I made, hating that I can hardly enjoy them over my nausea.
This is why I don’t drink regularly.
Well, that and the fact that I can only afford moonshine most of the time. You don’t even need to get drunk on that sour piss to get a hangover.
I pet Pestilence’s horse, who spent the night inside and who’s now standing in the kitchen, snuffling the pancakes like he might like a taste.
Abandoning the pancakes, I stand and focus my attention on the horseman’s mount.
I run a hand down the steed’s neck. “You know, beneath your hardened exterior is just a woman who wants love and acceptance,” I say to Trixie.
“My steed is a man.” Pestilence says as he enters the room.
I tense at his voice. This is the first time today the two of us have shared the same space.
He comes up next to me to place a cursory hand on the horse, and damn my body but I am aware of every inch of him.
“Don’t listen to him, Trixie,” I say to the horse, ignoring the man next to me.
“You named him?” Pestilence says incredulously.
He won’t look at me. I mean, I won’t look at him either, but he was the one who walked away from me last night, so …
I’m not looking at him first.
Apparently hangovers make me childish.
I pet Trixie’s white fur. It’s such a pure color, like fallen snow. “He needed a name.”
“‘Tricksy’?” Disapproval drips from Pestilence’s voice. “My steed isn’t tricksy. He’s a noble, loyal beast.”
That … i
s not the reason I named his pet Trixie.
“You don’t get to judge how I name him,” I say, “when you won’t name him at all.”
The horseman rotates to me, and sweet baby angels, just the feel of his gaze is flipping my stomach.
I finally gather up the courage to look at Pestilence. He’s back in his full regalia, his black clothes whole and unstained once more. His armor is now smooth and unblemished. His bow and quiver are at his back, the latter full of arrows when I was sure that yesterday it was near empty. It’s a neat trick how more than just his body can piece itself back together. Neat—and eerie.
Pestilence’s gaze drops to my outfit—the lime-green top and flowing floral pants make me look like the lovechild of a diva and a gypsy—but then it rises, stopping at my mouth.
Remembering last night.
I can still feel the press of his thumb there, and then that almost-kiss. We have shared all sorts of small intimacies, each one backed by a different emotion, but those that passed between us last night … I feel my cheeks heat a little. Those are going to linger with me.
Pestilence looks regretful, but I have no way of knowing what exactly it is that he regrets.
“Have you eaten?” he asks.
I clear my throat. “Yup,” I say, happy to focus on something other than us.
There is no us, Burns.
“I packed up some food as well,” I add.
The saddlebags are stuffed with the goods. I’d also packed up more liquor, despite last night’s little soiree.
“Good, then let’s be on our way.”
We head out of the house and back to the beach, Trixie trotting behind us. I can’t help casting a glance towards the area where I held Pestilence. It’s too far away for me to make out the bits of blood that still surely stain the sand.
I turn to the horseman, his steed at my back. “Should we talk about last night?” I ask.
He jaw clenches, and one second ticks by. Then two, three, four—
“What is there to talk about, human?” he finally says.
Ah. So the lines have been redrawn this morning. In the harsh light of day, I am once more Pestilence’s arch nemesis, and he mine.
I stare at him for a moment, then sigh. I don’t know what I want, but I don’t think it’s this.
Pestilence (The Four Horsemen Book 1) Page 13
