A Secretive Mail Order Widow For The Humorous Rancher (The Love of Low Valley Series)

by Elliee Atkinson

  “Right in the Bible, you mean,” Jim said, chuckling.

  Ben raised his eyebrows. “That sounds dangerous.”

  “Yep. Ol’ man Baxter wanted Jim’s wife, Jenny,” Dean said, jerking one thumb in Jim’s direction. “But Jimmy boy wasn’t giving up on her that easy. Dispatched the old man nice and proper.”

  “Let’s not rehash old times,” Jim said. Ben wished he hadn’t said it. He was interested to hear the story. When it was apparent it wasn’t going to be told, Ben’s mind skipped back to his worry for Nan. He wondered if he should mention it to Dean and Jim. They both had wives. They might have some advice for him.

  “So maybe you two can help me out with something,” he said, lifting his beer glass and holding it in front of his lips, looking over the rim at Dean while he took a sip.

  “Of course,” the Irishman responded. “If there’s anything we can help with, I’m sure we’d be glad to.”

  Ben nodded, lowering his glass again. He stared at the top of the bar, trying to formulate his thoughts into words.

  “Well, if your wife was feeling ill and trying to hide it from you, what would you think? Why would she do that?”

  “Okay, first off, you gotta just ask from your perspective. So your woman is ill and she’s not telling you? You want to know why?”

  Ben nodded at Jim.

  “I’m thinking she’s probably with child,” Jim said, looking around Dean some more.

  Chills lit up every part of Ben’s body. His eyes widened and he felt all the blood drain from his face. Dean’s head whipped around to look at Jim with frustration on his face. “Jim! She can’t be pregnant. They aren’t married yet!”

  “She just got here,” Ben said slowly, turning his eyes to stare at the back wall of the saloon without really seeing it. He was recapping everything in his mind that she’d told him about her past. He realized he knew almost nothing. She’d told him some of her young childhood, but nothing about the past couple years. Just that she was desperate for a home.

  “What do you know about her?” Jim persisted.

  Dean clucked his tongue. “Stop interrogating him about her, Jim.”

  Jim stared at his friend with disbelief. “What are you talking about? Normally this would be you asking him these questions, not me. The only reason I’m asking is because I have a child and you don’t. Jenny got real sick every morning when she was first with child. Then it went away as she got bigger and sometimes came back during the day, but that’s why she was suddenly sick like that.”

  He turned his eyes and looked at Ben. “I’m sorry, Ben, I just figured it would be something you want to think about since you’re plannin’ on marryin’ the girl.”

  Ben nodded. He was feeling sick to his stomach. Had she been lying to him the whole time? Or had something happened to her in Georgia and that’s why she had to leave? She had done something wrong? It could be any number of things.

  Whatever it was, it was bad enough for her to run away, all the way across the country. If it was true, she wouldn’t be able to hide it for long. She would have to tell him the truth.

  There had to be a reason she didn’t want to tell him. He would have to respect that. She would tell him eventually. She would be forced to when she started showing.

  “I really thought she was just ill,” he said in a low voice, tapping the bar again.

  Lee brought him another beer, taking away the empty one. Dean and Jim got quiet, just looking at Ben as he thought about what he’d just realized. “I guess I don’t know her like I should. I have a lot to figure out.”

  “I hope you will find out the truth before you react,” Jim said in a rational voice. “If people believed rumors and innuendo, I wouldn’t have any friends and would probably be locked up.”

  Dean nodded. “He’s right about that, Ben. You find out what’s really going on before you think the worst, okay, buddy?” He slapped Ben on the shoulder with one large hand. “Pray for the best.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Bee Pays A Visit

  When she heard a knock at the door an hour after Carrie left, Nan’s heart lifted at the thought that Ben had come to see her after all. She went to the door with a nervous heart, glancing through the window as she reached for the door.

  She froze for a second. It wasn’t Ben. It was a woman. Someone she didn’t recognize. Her stomach turned nervously as she wondered who the woman might be. Had Carrie sent someone to help her? Perhaps a midwife?

  With that thought in mind, Nan pulled the door open and smiled.

  “Hello. Did Carrie send you?”

  The woman shook her head. “No, she didn’t. I’m from the house. I’m a maid there. My name is Beatrice. I want to talk to you.”

  Nan blinked at the woman, her nervousness returning. She could only imagine what the house staff had been saying about her. “All right,” she said, stepping back to let the woman in. “What do you want from me?”

  “I want to talk to you about Ben.”

  Nan’s chest tightened with apprehension. She hadn’t asked Ben anything about his past before she came to Low Valley because she hadn’t wanted to reveal her own. She realized at that moment she should have found out if he’d broken any hearts before she got there.

  She braced herself and turned away from Bee. “What about him?”

  “You think you’re going to marry him, don’t you?” Bee hissed the words, only stepping enough into the house to be able to close the door. She followed Nan around with her eyes.

  Nan sat on the chair facing the front door so she could look directly up at Bee, hoping her face showed the confidence she didn’t feel. “That is why I was brought here.”

  “What kind of woman sells herself through the post?” Bee snarled, placing both hands on her wide hips and cocking one out to the side. “You must be fairly worthless if you can’t find yourself a man back where you come from.”

  Nan shoved her anger back down into the pit of her stomach. If she felt like vomiting again, she knew which direction she would do it in. She narrowed her eyes. “I am not worthless.” She stood up, taking a step closer to Bee. “If you have nothing to say of value, I’d appreciate it if you would just leave my house.”

  “This isn’t your house,” Bee looked up at Nan, tilting her head to the side. “It’s the Masons house. You’re only using it until Ben realizes what you are and sends you back to Georgia.”

  Nan felt a chill of fear slide through her. How did Bee know where she was from? Was Ben talking about her to this woman? What was he saying about her?

  A look of smug satisfaction crossed Bee’s face. She grinned. “You didn’t know Ben is supposed to be with me, did you?” she asked. “You came along too late. He didn’t realize he was supposed to be with me until after he’d already sent for you. Now he’s just being nice to you so he can let you down easy after a while.”

  Nan shook her head. There was no way she was going to believe this horrible woman. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Ben would have told me long before now if he loved another. He doesn’t treat me like that. He treats me like he loves me.”

  Bee snorted. “He’s faking everything, trust me. I know my Ben. He doesn’t like to hurt people so it takes him a while to build up the courage.”

  Nan believed that. She didn’t think Ben would ever want to hurt her. What if Bee was right though? What if he was just being nice because he’d already sent for her and he didn’t want to throw her onto the streets of Georgia?

  He knew she had nowhere to go if she was sent back there.However, he didn’t know why. She should have been upfront and told him the truth. Not telling him everything made her want to forgive him for not telling her the truth either.

  She looked at Bee, slowly sinking back into the chair she’d stood up from.

  Bee nodded. “That’s right. You realize it now. I know all about you, that you had to leave Georgia and that you have nowhere else to go. That’s why he’s letting you stay here. He convinced
the Masons to give you a chance. I guess they’ll offer you a job in the house when he decides to tell you how he really feels.”

  Nan hated the self-righteousness in the woman’s voice. However, she couldn’t help thinking maybe the woman was right. She’d been in Low Valley much longer than Nan. She’d known Ben for much longer. If he told Bee Nan had to leave Georgia and had nowhere else to go, he must trust the woman a lot.

  Her heart ached.

  Bee took a few steps closer to her and bent over at the waist, her hands still firmly planted on both sides, her elbows jutting out, slicing into the air around her.

  “I don’t want to wait to let you know you’re being toyed with, Nan.” She said the name as if it was poisonous. “See, you are stepping in my way with Ben. I won’t share him. Not with anyone. He’s mine, do you hear?”

  “If that were true, he would have told me by now.”

  “Well, you aren’t gonna say anything to him about me.” Bee commanded. “You’re gonna wait until he’s ready, because if you say something about me and make him mad at me, I’m gonna come back and I’m not gonna be so nice to you. Do you understand?”

  Nan’s chest tightened with fear. She was generally the same size as Bee, but the woman was plumper than she. Plus, she had apparent hate and disgust fueling her temper. “I… You can’t just come in here and talk to me this way.”

  Bee barked in Nan’s face. “He’s mine! You just keep that in mind, little miss. Just be prepared for the day he tells you there’s no way he’s going to marry you. Maybe you won’t be so heartbroken on your way back to Georgia. No wait, you’ll be taking my place in the Mason Ranch house and I’ll be moving out here with Ben!”

  Nan jumped to her feet and closed the distance between them. She lifted both hands and placed them firmly on Bee’s chest, shoving her back toward the front door. Bee stumbled slightly but kept her balance, giving Nan a shocked look.

  Nan was doing all she could to hold her temper. She grabbed Bee’s shoulder and spun the woman around, reaching around to shove the storm door out. She pushed Bee through and let the storm door close.

  “Don’t you ever come back to my house,” Nan said. “For now, this is my house. Carrie has let me know that at least. And you aren’t welcome here. Go back to your job. I don’t believe anything you tell me about Ben. You are jealous and rude. And childish. Go away.”

  “You’re going to find out!” Bee yelled just as Nan slammed the door shut.

  Nan turned around and pressed her back against the door, her hands clasped around the doorknob behind her. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She rested her head back and let a few tears slide from her eyes.

  Once Ben found out she was pregnant, if she was, he would send her away. If anything at all Bee had said was true, she would be gone. She didn’t have much time left.

  She pondered running away from it all, but she had no money at all for another stagecoach and wouldn’t know where to go if she did. She couldn’t go all the way across the country.

  She didn’t want to leave anyway. She crossed her arms over her stomach and leaned forward. She stepped backwards until she felt the chair behind her and dropped slowly down to it, running her hands through her hair.

  She was going to have Johnny’s baby. She would do anything and everything to keep it protected. No matter what Ben thought or anyone thought. It was her gift from God. Her blessing. She prayed Ben would understand when she told him. God help her, he had to understand.

  CHAPTER 22

  A Pleasant Date

  Ben looked at the cottage as he approached, wondering what he was going to say when he saw her. He wanted to wait for her to open up to him. After talking with Dean and Jim – mostly Jim – he understood why Carrie had that look on her face.

  When Carrie said she was going to do something, she did it. He had no doubt she had spoken to Nan about it by now. She would know the truth.

  He was tempted to turn around and go to the main house. Yet how could he put Carrie in such an awkward position? How could he make her decide between telling him whatever Nan told her and keeping Nan’s confidence?

  He didn’t want to do that to her. He would rather hear the truth from Nan anyway.

  What if she didn’t say anything? Would he be able to keep his thoughts to himself?

  He shifted in his saddle. It was looking to be a very uncomfortable evening. That wasn’t what he’d wanted, nor what he expected, when he brought Nan to Low Valley.

  He just needed to know her better, he thought as he pulled up in front of the house. He slid out of the saddle, convincing himself to give it more time. That’s all he needed was more time with her, to get to know her.

  He would earn her trust and she would feel comfortable telling him the truth.

  He walked up the stairs and lifted his hand to knock on the door. He stepped back and clasped his hands behind him, waiting for her to answer.

  It seemed like longer than it should have been considering the size of the house before Nan pulled the door open. Her eyes had red rings around them from where she’d obviously been crying, but her face was set in a smile.

  “Ben! It’s so good to see you. I thought you were never coming back.”

  He laughed and pulled open the storm door to step into the house. When he brushed past her, he felt the touch of her shirt fabric on his arm. It gave him chills. He wanted to turn around immediately, ask her what was going on, wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. Yet he didn’t. He removed his hat and looked down at her. “How have you been? You looked a little off this morning.”

  She nodded, moving her eyes away from him. “I was feeling a bit nauseous. I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me but Carrie has kindly offered to take me to the doctor in the morning.”

  Ben smiled. He knew Carrie would take care of Nan. He was glad he talked to the house mistress that afternoon.

  “Are you feeling well enough for dinner?”

  “I am feeling all right, yes,” Nan replied. “I’ve prepared a dinner. I wasn’t sure you were coming, but I hoped you were, so I made a nice chicken dinner with rice and potatoes.”

  Ben immediately recognized the smell in the air from what she described. He nodded. “It smells like you know how to cook.”

  “I do!”

  She looked so excited, he almost forgot about the illness and the possible pregnancy. That was what he wanted anyway. He didn’t want the negative things to invade his life and take over. He wanted happy times, relaxing times with a woman he was falling in love with.

  She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling on him. He followed her to the kitchen, enjoying the feel of her skin against his. He looked down at her hand and moved his eyes over her slender body. She made his heart pound.

  When they reached the kitchen, she took him to the stove. “Now you stand right here and let me know what you think of this. I hope you like it.”

  “I’m sure I will,” he said, bending over slightly to look in the stove when she opened the door.

  She grabbed two cloths and used them over her hands to pull down the door and reach in for the hot pan. She lifted out the platter. The chicken was bubbling and popping. It looked perfectly cooked to Ben.

  “Oh my, I think you definitely know what you’re doing in the kitchen.” He was impressed. He wondered if she’d been a cook in someone’s home before she came to Low Valley.

  “I do know what I’m doing,” she looked up at him. “Sit down. I’ll make you a plate.”

  “Thank you.” Ben went to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down, resting one arm on the table next to him. “So tell me about your day.”

  “Well, I had a visit from Carrie, as you know.”

  Ben swallowed. He hoped Nan didn’t mind him sending Carrie with his message. “Yeah, I… I just wanted you to know I couldn’t come. I really did have a lot of work to do.” He didn’t plan to tell her it hadn’t gotten better through lunch and he ended up going to the Broken Horseshoe anyway.<
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  “Don’t worry about that,” Nan said as she fixed him a plate. “I had a good talk with her. She knew that I hadn’t been feeling well. She said she just knows those kinds of things. I think you said something about that when they were talking about the weather at dinner the other night.”

  Ben nodded, impressed that she remembered what he’d said. It proved she listened when he spoke.

  “Yeah, I told you about that. I believe her when she gives her predictions. I can’t think of a single time she’s been wrong.”

  Nan raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t know that.” Something in her face changed, but Ben didn’t know what it meant.

  “Well, she is going to take me to Low Valley tomorrow to see the doctor. If I’m ill, I’m sure he will give me a diagnosis and something for it.”

  “Do you think you’re ill?”

  “I think I need to see the doctor to find out.” Nan laughed. “Don’t you think that’s better than guessing at things like this?”

  “I guess you’re right. Sometimes I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about either.”

  She laughed at his joke, to his relief. He was telling a half-truth. Dr. Campbell was as fallible as any man. However, he was generally right in his assumptions, based on his knowledge of 20 years practicing medicine.

  “I hope you’re all right.” Was all he could think of to say.

  “Thank you. Now here’s your plate. You tell me what you think.” She sat down and propped her head up with both hands under her chin. Her grin was so child-like and innocent, he didn’t want to believe she could ever do anything wrong.

  If she was pregnant, there had to be a good reason why she hadn’t told him. That led to a myriad of other questions he hadn’t thought he needed to ask.

  The truth had to be painful for her, he decided. That’s why she hadn’t said anything to him. He resolved to let her know he wasn’t the kind of man to turn his back on a woman. If she revealed that she was with child, he would accept it and love it as his own. No matter the circumstances.However, he wouldn’t say anything first to her. He couldn’t. She needed to be the one to bring it up. If he brought it up, he was afraid he would scare her and she wouldn’t tell him the truth. He didn’t want her to think he would be angry.