A Secretive Mail Order Widow For The Humorous Rancher (The Love of Low Valley Series)

by Elliee Atkinson

  “That surprises me,” Nan said. Ben looked at her. She was completely unaware of how close they had come to being forced to talk to Bee. Or have her talk to them. He wasn’t going to tell her. Ignorance was bliss in this instance. It would only bother her to know how much damage Bee was trying to do.

  He shuddered, turning away from the women as they chatted. An image of Bee pushed unwillingly through his mind, reminding him of her snapper-turtle-like face, standing in front of him, demanding things from him.

  He snorted. She had a lot of imagining to do if she thought he was ever going to be her man. He would never love her, even if Nan had never come to Low Valley. He’d never been interested in her. Her sudden claiming of him just when he’d found a woman he felt he could love was suspicious. Maybe she’d been harboring those feelings for a long time. However, he didn’t even have a sparkle or a speck of interest in her. She was insane. He wasn’t interested in her before he knew she was insane. Now there wasn’t a chance on earth or in any other realm. She would just have to accept that.

  He looked at her, running his eyes over her beautiful face. “Nan. Would you like me to make you some lunch? I’ll have to eat and get out to the field. I do have work to do and my boss is sitting right in this room.”

  A chuckle went through the room.

  “I’d love for you to make me lunch, Ben. Where? At the chow house?”

  He loved her grin. “No, sweet girl. At the cottage.”

  Nan nodded. “I’d like that. Let’s do that right now.”

  She stood up and held her hand out to him.

  CHAPTER 30

  Lunch At The Cottage

  Nan sat on the porch swing and looked out over the land. She could hear Ben in the cottage, banging around in the kitchen. She didn’t know what he was preparing, but it was already smelling good. He was cooking up something that sent spices drifting through the air.

  Nan figured she was in for a treat. She suspected he might even make her dessert pastries. He’d asked her several times over the last week what she liked to eat the most. She had no idea he would attempt to make those things himself.

  She wondered if he was any good at baking.

  Giggling, she folded one leg up underneath her and left the other one dangling so she could push her toes down and make the swing move back and forth. Logan was right, it was a hot day. Not as hot as he made it seem, but still, it was hot.

  The storm door pushed open and Ben came out holding two cups in front of him. He made a beeline for her and handed her one of the cups. “This will help cool you off,” he said. “It’s got sugar in it. You’ll love it.”

  Nan raised her eyebrows, curiously, taking the cup from him. She took a sip and was delighted by the deliciously sweet taste on her tongue. She made a sound of appreciation, nodding at him.

  “Oh, this is wonderful, Ben, thank you!”

  He nodded, sitting next to her. “I thought you’d like it.”

  Neither of them spoke for a while. They sat on the swing together, looking out over the horizon, drinking their sweet tea. She noticed when he stretched his arm out behind her on the swing. She could feel him back there, even though he wasn’t touching her. She sensed his presence. He was so close to her. She imagined what she would do if he turned her to him so he could kiss her.

  She missed being kissed. Johnny always went out of his way to make her feel beautiful. She didn’t expect Ben to, but if he did, she would have been twice blessed by God.

  He didn’t touch her, and as much as she wanted him to, she couldn’t say anything. She dare not. They were to be married, yes, but she couldn’t get past her fear. She shifted, rocking the swing gently and “bumping” into his arm. He retracted it, which was the last thing she wanted him to do, and apologized to her.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, are you uncomfortable?”

  Nan looked at him for a moment, studying his handsome face. He tilted his head to the side.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I wasn’t uncomfortable because your arm was back there,” she said gently. “You can put it back if you want. I don’t mind it being there.”

  He gave her a warm look and returned his arm where it had been. “If it was cold, I would put my arm around your shoulders,” he said in a smooth voice that sent excited tingles through her body. “But it’s too warm for all that.”

  Nan wished it wasn’t too warm for all that. However, she agreed he was right. It wasn’t much cooler inside, despite all her efforts to keep it that way.

  “It will cool down in a few hours, won’t it?” she asked, settling back in the swing, content to have his arm behind her and his body close to hers.

  “Yeah, it should. After lunch, though, I gotta get back to work. I’ll be working into the night, probably.”

  “You don’t have to take so much time off to be with me, Ben. I’m a grown woman. I’ll be all right.”

  He gave her a strange look, one she couldn’t decipher. She wished she knew him better. Someday, if they married and lived happily together for the rest of their lives, she would be able to read his facial expressions and know what he was thinking.

  Until then, she had to hazard a guess. She couldn’t imagine what was making him look at her like that. Suddenly, she was reminded that she wanted to ask him about Bee. However, how could she approach a subject like that when she was hiding something from him herself? She didn’t really consider what she was doing hiding, though. She was just delaying the truth telling so she could figure out how to say it without losing him completely. She didn’t want to leave Low Valley. A little over a week was enough to convince her she’d found her new home.

  She wanted to make it her home with Ben. Yet until she could say it right and have all the answers to the questions he might ask, she would delay telling him about her child and her past.

  She ran her eyes over the field beyond the cottage, where the cows liked to graze when they were out to pasture. She had made the swing her spot at least twice a day to enjoy looking at the peaceful serene scene in front of her.

  “It would be so nice to stay right here in this cottage,” she said in a soft voice. “Until I have a family that outgrows it.” She looked over her shoulder up at Ben’s gazing eyes. He met her eyes and she felt her heart jump in her chest. He nodded.

  “Yes, it’s such a lovely little place. I wouldn’t mind living here myself. I’ll have to ask Logan about it. I’ve got to do some work with him this afternoon, if he gets back out there when it cools down some. I’ll ask him then. Maybe he will rent it to you until… until you want to move.”

  “Or have to move,” she replied. “We are supposed to be married. And we’re supposed to have children. So we’ll need a bigger home after the first one.” Nan felt strange speaking about her first child when she was already preparing to have it. She wanted to say something more, go into depth about it with Ben. Not yet though. She had to do it at the right time and the right place. Right now… it just wasn’t time.

  “Yes, that’s very true,” Ben said. His voice was equally low but his lips were close to Nan’s ear and when he spoke, it sent chills over her arms and down her spine.

  Instinctively, she reached up over her shoulder and pulled his hand over it. He smiled at her and squeezed her gently. “That better?” he asked.

  “Yes, it’s much better,” she replied. She looked away from him, unwillingly. “Do ask Logan if he’ll rent this place to us, Ben. I know you don’t want to stay in the bunkhouse after we’re married. You won’t, will you?”

  He squeezed her again. She looked up at him. He was shaking his head.

  “Not ever, sweetheart. Not ever. I want to be in my home with you. And if that’s this cottage for a while, then so be it. As long as I’m with you. I’ll go anywhere and live anywhere. As long as I’m with you.”

  His sweet words filled Nan with warm loving feelings. She snuggled against him. Being with him made her forget her troubles. He made her think about happ
y, positive things, instead of the evil woman stalking her or the fear of telling him about her past and her baby. All she thought about was how he made her feel, how excited he made her, how much passion he stirred up in her.

  “You make me happy,” she whispered.

  She thought maybe she’d said it too quietly for him to hear. However, when he lowered his head and snuggled his face into her neck, her body erupted in tingling chills. She closed her eyes and soaked in the feelings he sent through her.

  “And you make me happy, Nan. Thank you for writing that letter. Thank you for taking a chance and getting on that train. I really am the luckiest man on earth.”

  “I’m the one who’s blessed,” Nan said, sincerely. “I have so much that I shouldn’t have because of God’s blessings. I don’t know why He’s looking out for me, but I really believe He is. Every time I am in despair, He sends someone or something to make me feel better.”

  “He’s a great God,” Ben said, smiling. “I’m glad you feel better because of me. I thought maybe you might be real sick when you said you were going to the doctor.”

  Nan shook her head, reaching up and patting his cheek with one small hand. “No, I’m going to be fine, Ben. Don’t you worry at all. I’m going to be just fine.”

  CHAPTER 31

  Logan Spies A Spy

  Bee stomped away from the bunkhouse seething. She didn’t like to be laughed at. The moment Lou opened the door, they’d started taunting her. They told her Ben didn’t like her that way and that his heart was with Nan. They told her she needed to wake up.

  She didn’t need to wake up. She knew who Ben was supposed to be with and it wasn’t that Nan Simpson woman.

  She wasn’t going to settle for anything less than the best. Ben was the best. She intended to have him as her own.

  She spun around and stared down the path and through the field at the cottage. She could just see it in the distance. There was no way to see if anyone was there, either inside or outside. It was almost a speck in the distance. Yet she knew it was there.

  She knew he was there.

  She folded her arms over her chest and glared in the direction of the cottage. There was one thing she could see and that was the buggy and the horse sitting out front. The buggy was one Carrie had loaned Nan. The horse was Ben’s.

  So they were there together. Alone. God only knew what they might be doing. He might be… kissing her…

  Bee shuddered. She didn’t want to think about something like that. She refused to let the thought linger in her mind. He wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t betray her.

  He was probably trying to get the truth out of her. If he was a smart man, and Bee knew he was, he would be questioning her.

  “What are you doing?”

  Bee spun around, her eyes wide and frightened. She looked up into the intimidating eyes of Logan Mason. She wasn’t afraid of Carrie or Michael. However, Logan terrified her.

  “I… I was just…”

  “You were just staring out at that cottage. What’s wrong? You don’t like Nan?”

  Bee blinked rapidly, trying to think. Carrie wasn’t the only one with a slightly psychic nature. Logan apparently shared it, too. Unless he’d been watching her. She relaxed her shoulders and tried to keep her composure in front of him.

  “It isn’t that I don’t like her,” she said, licking her bottom lip before continuing. “It’s just that I guess she rubs me the wrong way. I… I don’t think she’s being truthful and honest with Ben.”

  She wondered where the courage was coming from to talk so casually with Logan. He was her boss. The only thing he said to her was when he was giving orders. He gave her a hard stare. She had released her arms from in front of her chest, but now he struck that pose, narrowing his eyes.

  “So you’re telling me she’s not being honest? She’s lying to Ben about something? What’s she lying about? And how would you know?”

  Bee’s heart thumped nervously in her chest. She couldn’t tell Logan how she knew that Nan wasn’t being truthful and that she was in fact pregnant with another man’s child.

  “I… I guess it’s just my intuition telling me,” she said weakly.

  He raised one eyebrow, giving her a skeptical look. “Well, you’ll excuse me if I say I’m not sure I can judge Nan on just that. Carrie’s got better intuition than any of us, to the extraordinary degree. She likes Nan. Thinks she’s an outstanding woman. I’ve not had any problems with the girl at all. So you’ll have to give me a little more than that.”

  Bee held in her frustration. She couldn’t let her temper show in front of her boss. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. “I… I guess it’s just from what Ben has told me about her. It doesn’t mesh with what she’s presenting to us now.”

  Logan frowned deep. “What in heaven’s name are you talking about, woman?”

  Bee didn’t know how to make herself understood without revealing she’d looked at Nan’s file at the doctor’s office.

  “She’s not being truthful with Ben,” she said conclusively. “I know it. I feel it. He isn’t doing the right thing being with her.”

  Logan stared at her for a few minutes. She tried to look back but could only make it a few seconds without dropping her eyes.

  “I… I’m just worried about him, Mr. Mason. I care about him.”

  “That’s obvious.” Logan stated firmly. “You need to start worrying more about what you have going on in your life and perhaps keep your nose out of other people’s business.”

  Bee’s cheeks colored red as humiliation spread through her. She was surprised to feel anger rising up in her at the same time. She squashed the feeling quickly. She wasn’t stupid enough to take on Logan Mason. Especially not in any kind of physical fight. The large man could snap her neck in a heartbeat.

  “I… I’m sorry…” She knew her voice was weak and pathetic. She felt like a child being scolded by a schoolteacher.

  “Why don’t you go on inside and do your work?” Logan said, stepping to the side, revealing the house behind him. “I’m sure if you don’t have anything to do, Carrie can find something.”

  “It’s my day off, sir,” she said, still unable to lift her eyes and look at him.

  “Then you need to spend your day off doing something besides stalking our guest and one of our ranch hands. Am I clear?”

  Bee’s eyes jumped to his face and then dropped to the ground again. “Yes, sir. I am sorry.”

  “Accepted. Go on. You’re running out of nothing to do before the end of your day off. Enjoy it while you can.”

  Bee wished his light-hearted tone of voice made what he was saying less brutal. He was dismissing her. He didn’t want her with Ben any more than the others did. They all thought since Nan was in the picture, she wasn’t anymore. None of them wanted her to be happy.

  She didn’t understand why none of them wanted her to be happy.

  She refrained from saying what was on her mind as she passed him. She gave him the biggest, most fake smile she could muster. It took everything she had not to reach out and smack him across the face. She couldn’t believe how arrogant he was. He thought he knew everything.

  He didn’t know everything about her life. She also wasn’t going to tell him. She lifted her nose in the air as she walked past him. She didn’t look back. She didn’t care what he did after she walked away. She went to the porch steps and went up, crossing the porch to the front door.

  She went in the house and walked straight to the stairs to the second floor. When she pictured the room she shared with Bess, she didn’t find it very appealing. However, it was the only place she could go where she felt comfortable. The Masons had informed all their staff inside the house and out, that if they wished to take a book from the library, they could get one.

  So Bee had three books on her night stand.

  She hoped Bess wasn’t in the room. She wanted some time to herself to reflect on how she would get Ben to believe her that they were meant to
be together. She would have to convince him that he loved her, that would always love her. That this thing with Nan was just a flight of fancy, a pipe dream that can’t possibly come true.

  She opened the door to her room and stepped in, grateful that there wasn’t anyone there. She went in and closed the door behind her, locking it. If Bess came and wanted in, she could come in. However, Bee wasn’t entertaining any guests in her little room tonight. Unless Ben came by.

  She wanted time to think.

  She sat down on the edge of her bed and reached down to loosen the laces of her soft-soled shoes. She slipped them off and laid back on the bed, pulling her feet toward her so her knees jutted out toward the ceiling. She stared at the jagged points above her, the swirls in the plaster that made such odd designs.

  How could she convince Ben she was the woman for him? There had to be a way. Nan was no good, a liar. There was no way she loved him. She certainly didn’t love him the way Bee did.

  She sighed, running through various scenarios in her mind. She rejected each idea she had for one reason or another. He simply had to love her back.

  She wouldn’t have it any other way.

  CHAPTER 32

  Logan Has A Warning For Ben

  “Ben!”

  Ben stood up abruptly, knocking his head against a low shelf in the small shed he was working in. He grunted in pain and saw stars for a moment, reaching behind him and holding one hand against his head. There would be a knot there later. He regretted taking his hat off.

  He looked through the small doorway, which was completely blocked by the large man standing in front of it. He glared at Logan, not caring at that moment that he was his boss. To his credit, Logan had an apologetic look on his face.

  “Oh, buddy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make ya jump like that.”