Bay's Desire

by Shirleen Davies

  Reaching out, he placed a hand over hers. He almost jerked it away, feeling the biting chill of her skin. “You’re freezing.” Standing, he lifted his coat jacket from its hook. “Here.” He draped it over her shoulders before returning to his chair. “Better?”

  Suzette nodded, although she hadn’t noticed the chill. She could feel the tremors rippling through her body, the tightness in her chest, the shaking of her hands.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “Do you want coffee or tea? Jasper can have it up here within minutes.”

  She shook her head. “No. The coat is fine.”

  “Is it all right to ask my questions?”

  Rubbing her temples, she bit her lower lip. “I don’t know what you expect, Bay. You’ve never been interested before.” She wondered for an instant if she should tell him the worst part about talking of that night. “It’s hard to talk about it.” Pressing a hand against her stomach, she tried to control the shakes, which always came when she remembered the worst night of her life. “I can’t…”

  Getting up again, he walked to a cabinet, taking out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. Pouring a portion into each, he returned to the table, holding one out to her.

  “Drink this. It’ll help calm you.”

  Taking it from him, she took one sip, then another before setting the glass down. She’d always preferred to drink Bay’s favorite liquor, never learning to enjoy sherry as many of the women who came into the restaurant favored.

  Lowering himself into the chair, he took a small swallow, watching as Suzette’s hands began to still. “Better?”

  Finishing the last sip, she licked her lips, nodding. She had no idea what the small gesture did to Bay. The way his body tightened watching the slow way her tongue drew across her glorious lips.

  Bay shifted in his chair, clearing his throat. “Can we talk about—”

  She held up her hand, interrupting what he planned to say. “Why now, Bay? I’ve asked, almost begged you several times to let me explain, but you’ve always walked away. You’ve never shown the slightest interest in hearing my side.” Her voice had risen with each sentence, the accusatory tone clear, making him flinch.

  “Maybe I think it’s time.” He grimaced at how ridiculous the excuse sounded.

  Staring at him, her gaze narrowed. “Well, maybe I think it’s too late.”

  Standing, Suzette marched to the cabinet, taking out the bottle. Returning to the table, she added a little to his glass and filled her own, setting the bottle on the table. Sitting down, she took a slow sip, glancing at him over the rim of the glass.

  “Nothing’s been decided, Suzette. If you explain—”

  “You don’t understand.” She gripped her hands in her lap, exhaling a slow breath.

  “What don’t I understand?”

  Her face twisted in pain. “You’ve spent almost two years humiliating me with your numerous women. There isn’t anyone in this town who would believe we are married. Why would they? They see you as a hardworking single man, taking your pleasure whenever and with whomever you choose.” Her voice broke on the last. She shoved his hand away when he reached toward her. “Even if you believe my side of what happened, I’ll never live down the shame of being the woman whose husband purposely cast her aside.” Letting out a broken sob of distress, she swiped away moisture in her eyes. Jumping up, she grabbed her reticule. “I need to leave.”

  Beating her to the door, he blocked her escape. “Don’t leave, Suzette.”

  Her gaze darted around the room as if looking for a way out before glaring at him. “I have to leave. Now.”

  This time, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Spinning away, she scrubbed both hands down her face, doing what she could to regain her composure. Feeling Bay’s hands on her shoulders, she flinched away. Taking several deep breaths, she turned around, surprised at the stricken look on Bay’s face.

  “Please. Just let me go.” Her words meant more than allowing her to leave his office.

  Refusing to step aside, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

  Taking a step closer, anger building, she placed her palms on his chest, shoving hard. “Get out of my way.”

  He shook his head, unable to cause her more pain. “All right.” He walked back to the table and picked up the papers. Holding them in front of him, he tore the documents down the middle.

  Her eyes widened, hands balled into fists at her sides. “What are you doing?”

  Setting the torn pages aside, he walked to her, settling his hands on her shoulders. “I won’t sign anything until I understand that night.”

  “Then I’ll sign them.”

  He shook his head. “I’m afraid that won’t work. For you to get a divorce without my consent, you need to prove adultery, abandonment, cruelty, or desertion.”

  “It won’t be hard. You have committed adultery and abandoned me.”

  “And how will you prove either?”

  She threw back her head, staring at the ceiling. “It’s no secret you’ve brought women into town, welcoming them into your bed. We live in different houses. A married couple wouldn’t do such a thing.”

  His features softened, one corner of his mouth curving upward. “Any of the women will tell you how they spent the night in a separate bedroom.” He felt no satisfaction at the way her face twisted in confusion, then denial.

  “That can’t be true.”

  His voice lowered. “It’s quite true.”

  “But why?” Even as she spoke the words, Suzette realized the truth. “You planned to hurt me. Make me pay for what you thought I’d done to you.” She twisted out of his hold, taking a step away. “You were cruel and vile.” Her breath came in short gasps, understanding the depth of his retribution.

  He jerked as if she’d slapped him. “I deserve your anger at what I did.”

  “Then you know why I want the divorce. I could never love a man who took such enjoyment at seeing me broken.” Bile rose in her throat. She never believed she could hate Bay. She’d been wrong. “I can charge you with abandonment or desertion.”

  He let out a regretful breath. “I’m afraid that won’t work, either. August will admit you insisted on your own house when you came to Conviction.”

  “I never…” Her voice trailed off when she remembered her discussion with August about living arrangements. He suggested she stay at Bay’s so they could try to work out their differences. She’d adamantly refused.

  “There is a way to settle this, Suzette.” His voice was soft, conciliatory.

  She shook her head, looking up to meet his gaze. “How?”

  “You tell me what happened. Once I understand, we’ll put it behind us and continue our married life.”

  Her eyes flashed, eyes bulging. “Are you mad? After all you’ve done to me, I’ll never live with you again. Never!”

  Chapter Six

  Suzette performed her duties at the restaurant as if nothing had happened in Bay’s office. Her clothes, hair, and composure would lead no one to suspect the tumultuous meeting, which had left her confused and exhausted.

  She wondered how he could even imagine a future after the way he’d humiliated her in the most public way. Anyone who knew either of them would be appalled to learn they were wed yet didn’t acknowledge their union. It would be worse due to his behavior of bedding other women, becoming an adulterer.

  After stating he hadn’t bedded any of them, she no longer knew what to believe. Suzette did know whatever had happened in the privacy of his home between him and the women he flaunted before her, he’d meant to cause a great deal of suffering. It had worked beautifully.

  Suzette couldn’t count the nights she’d sought sleep, tears streaming down her cheeks, picturing Bay a few houses away making love to someone else. There had been times the pain had been so intense she felt physically ill. At some point, sleep always came, the hurt subsiding enough for her to face another day.

  “Miss Gasnier, there is a gentleman at th
e door asking for you. I told him we’re about ready to close for the evening, but he insisted.”

  She nodded at the young server. “Thank you.”

  Smoothing her hands down the long, black skirt, she straightened, a disingenuous smile forming on her face. Expecting Bay, she took her time moving between the few tables still occupied at this hour. Approaching the front, she lifted her gaze, a sincere smile brightening her face.

  “Griff.” Holding out her hands, she grasped both of his.

  “Hello, Suzette.” Griffin MacKenzie leaned down, brushing a quick kiss across her cheek.

  “It’s been too long.” She looked across the almost deserted room, pleased to see a table in the darkened alcove empty. “I’ll show you to a table.”

  “Are you able to join me?”

  She glanced around. “I’d love to. Let me talk to one of the servers.” Returning a moment later, Suzette sat in the chair Griff pulled out, pleased he’d asked. It had been a while since she’d relaxed over a late supper with a friend.

  “It’s good to see you, Suz.”

  She smiled at the nickname Griff gave her years ago, a time when their lives hadn’t been burdened as they were now. “You, too.”

  “You look beautiful. Then again, you’ve always been a stunning woman. Bay is one lucky man.”

  The grin on her face faltered. Glancing away, she took a moment to compose herself, startled when Griff’s hand gripped her chin, turning her toward him.

  “Don’t tell me that miscreant of a husband still hasn’t come to his senses.” He studied her face, letting his hand drop. “By the look on your face, he hasn’t. Tell me about it, Suz.”

  She waited until the server brought them a bottle of wine, filled two glasses, and took their orders. “It shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s refused to listen to anything I have to say about that night.” Taking a sip of wine, she stared into the distance. “Until this afternoon.”

  Leaning toward her, he lifted a brow, waiting.

  “We met so he could explain the divorce documents. Instead, he wanted me to tell him about that night.” She cast a furtive gaze at one of the few people who knew the entire story, the horrid events which led to this point in her life. “You have no idea how he’s treated me since I arrived in Conviction, Griff.”

  Suzette continued to sip her wine, explaining Bay’s actions, seeing the look of surprise on their friend’s face. She didn’t tell him all of it. There was no reason to create a wedge between two men who’d been friends for so long. She’d always thought they were like bookends. Both from wealthy families, attended law school together, and instead of becoming attorneys, chose the profession of guns for hire. They were also about the same age, height, and build. Bay and Griffin could easily be mistaken for brothers.

  “His request caught me off guard. After all the hurt, I never expected him to ask for my recollection of that night.” She touched a finger to her temple, deciding not to divulge Bay’s wish to put the past behind them. “I told him it was too late.”

  The server arrived, stalling Griff’s reply. Setting plates of steak, potatoes, and beans in front of each of them, he stepped away. “Anything else, Miss Gasnier?”

  She offered a wan smile. “This is fine. Thank you.”

  Griff’s brow quirked. “Miss Gasnier?”

  Sighing, she picked up her fork. “It’s how I’ve been addressed since arriving in town. A few people know of our connection, but…” Her mouth twisted, remembering the night she’d told the latest of Bay’s women they were married. “I did happen to introduce myself as Mrs. Donahue to the woman he brought in for supper the other night.”

  Griff stopped the fork midway to his mouth, set it down, and laughed. “Wish I’d have been there.”

  “He was a little distraught.” She choked out a chuckle. “I shouldn’t have done it. My outburst served no purpose and actually plays into what Bay wants.”

  “Would reconciling be so bad, Suz?”

  Biting her lower lip, she rolled the stem of her glass between her fingers. “I don’t know how it could be achieved. The town believes we’re both single. Bay’s made no secret of the women he’s brought to his house. Nothing we’ve done indicates we have a connection beyond the hotel and restaurant. After all this time, how are we to announce that we’re married?” She shook her head.

  Rubbing his stubbled chin, Griff watched her. “The Suz I know wouldn’t care what others thought. The same as she didn’t care that Bay was a gunslinger. You married him regardless of the way he made a living.”

  She stared down at her lap. “I loved him.”

  Griff refilled his glass, leaning back in his chair. “And I’m guessing you still love him.”

  Pushing aside the truth of his words, Suzette let out a shaky breath. “I’ll always love Bay.” As much as she sometimes hated him, she didn’t try to deceive herself. He was, and would always be, the love of her life.

  “Perhaps…” The rest stalled in Griff’s throat, his eyes shifting to movement at the front. Slowly, he pushed from his char, his stance and features rigid, hands loose at his sides.

  “I didn’t know you were in town, Griff.” Bay stopped a couple feet away, staring at his friend, then Suzette.

  Bay’s soft voice and cool demeanor didn’t fool either Suzette or Griffin. They’d seen him this way in the past and knew to be careful. Griffin held out his hand, not taking his gaze from Bay.

  “Just rode in and decided to eat before finding you. Why don’t you join your wife and me?” Griff waited, feeling the tension rise, then dissipate when Bay grasped his hand.

  “Are you sure my wife doesn’t mind?” He sent a meaningful look at Suzette.

  She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her discomfort. “It’s fine with me. Have you eaten?” When he shook his head, she saw the weariness in his eyes, the tight pull to his mouth, and the way his thick, dark hair seemed more disheveled than normal. “Are you feeling all right, Bay?”

  Instead of lowering himself with his usual grace, he almost fell into the chair, grasping the edge of the table. “I’m fine.”

  “You look—”

  “I’m fine, Suzette. Let it be.” A trembling hand speared through his hair, doing nothing to improve the tousled appearance or flash of pain in his eyes.

  She cast a quick glance at Griff, seeing the same concern in his eyes. “May I order you the same as what we’re having?”

  Pulling his chair closer to the table, he nodded. “That’s fine.”

  “Wine or whiskey?”

  He held up his hand. “Nothing more for me, Suzette.” Bay didn’t look at her as he spoke, his attention moving to Griff. “What brought you all the way to Conviction?”

  “Let’s wait until you’ve eaten, then we’ll talk.”

  Mouth twisting in impatience, Bay nodded.

  Taking another sip of wine, Griff focused on his friend. “Still glad you hung up your guns for practicing law?”

  “Mostly. There are days I miss the hunt, but not the inevitable end.”

  Griff gave a curt nod, his expression sobering. “I understand.”

  Bay waited as the server placed his meal in front of him and left. “Are you thinking of giving it up?”

  “Considering it.”

  Bay cut into his steak, chewing a bite while doing his best to not let Suzette’s presence get to him. When they’d met earlier, his tight control had been all that stopped him from reaching out and pulling her into his arms.

  He’d been surprised she’d turned down his request to talk about Calvan and what happened. Bay thought she’d be relieved at having the chance to explain. Instead, she’d thrown his past actions back at him, refusing to talk or even consider holding off on the divorce. On impulse, he’d torn up the documents, not surprised at the tinge of red spreading up her face.

  She could ask August to help her, but knew his partner and friend wouldn’t place himself between them. Other than a couple other lawyers, who mainly to
ok on disorderly conduct cases, she’d be forced to go to Sacramento or San Francisco to find someone to petition for divorce. A divorce Bay knew she’d have almost no chance of obtaining.

  “Bay. Are you still with us?”

  Griff’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Sorry. It’s been a long day. What would you do if you stopped hiring out?”

  Shrugging, he poured a little more wine into Suzette’s glass and his. “I’m not sure. Law makes the most sense. I’m just not sure being in an office most of the day is right for me.” Sipping his drink, he chuckled. “Guess I could become a professional gambler.”

  Suzette laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Even I can beat you at cards, Griff.”

  Placing a hand against his chest, he feigned a hurt expression. “I’ve gotten better since you left St. Louis.”

  Smiling, she reached over, placing a hand on Griff’s arm, a gesture Bay didn’t miss. “If you intend to make a living by gambling, I hope you’ve gotten a whole lot better.”

  Finishing his meal, Bay sat back, envious at the easy banter between Suzette and Griff. He missed so much about their early marriage. Waking up with her, going to sleep with Suzette in his arms. Making love to his wife, the woman he wanted now with the same intensity as when they’d married.

  “Now that we’re done, tell me why you’re here, Griff.”

  Smile slipping, his friend glanced at Suzette, then back at Bay. “It might be best to talk at your place.”

  Sliding her chair back, she stood, motioning to the men to stay seated. “Go ahead and talk. I need to check on the kitchen and make certain we’re ready to lock up for the night. I hope to see you again before you leave town, Griff.”

  Standing, he leaned over, kissing her cheek. “You can depend on seeing me again, Suz.”

  Without sparing Bay a glance, she turned toward the kitchen, the sway of her hips driving him crazy. He turned a hard glare at Griff. “She is still my wife.”

  Relaxing in his chair, he lifted one shoulder. “For how long, Bay? If you want her back, seems to me you’d be working harder to get her back in your bed.”