Bay's Desire

by Shirleen Davies

  Suzette sat in the chair next to Bay, watching him take another bite. His movements had slowed with each passing minute. She took another sip of coffee, her attention moving to Ezekiel as he stopped next to their table.

  “If you’ve no objection, I’ll be leaving now, Miss Gasnier.”

  “Now is fine. You did wonderful tonight.”

  A slight flush touched his face. “Thank you, ma’am. Should I be here at the same time tomorrow?”

  She took a quick glance at Bay, seeing him staring between her and Ezekiel. “That would be fine. Goodnight, Mr. Clayton.”

  “Goodnight, Miss Gasnier, Mr. Donahue.”

  Neither spoke for several long moments, Suzette taking sly looks at Bay while he finished a few more bites. Pushing the half-full plate away, he sat back in his chair. In the past, he’d never have left even a small amount of food behind.

  Lifting his coffee cup, he studied the liquid inside before taking a sip.

  “Is something wrong with the coffee?”

  “No, sweetheart.”

  Waiting a few heartbeats, she leaned toward him, placing a hand on his arm. “Do you want to talk here or go to my house?” Suzette watched as something flickered over his face before he settled a hand over hers.

  “Your house.”

  Standing, she picked up his plate and cup. “Give me five minutes. You can come back with me if you want.”

  A tight smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he stood to follow. Moving his gaze to the front window, he stopped at the sight of a man standing outside, staring at him. A rush of recognition passed through Bay. He’d seen the man before. Or on a wanted poster.

  It was too dark to get a good look before the man moved on, disappearing down the boardwalk.

  “Arsenic.” Bay let the word hang between them. They sat next to each other on the sofa, a few inches separating them.

  Face paling, Suzette lifted a hand to her chest, unable to comprehend what he’d told her. Trying to swallow the fear gripping her, she met his gaze, unable to respond.

  “It’s Doc Vickery’s best guess, at least until he hears back from the chemist.”

  Closing her eyes, she forced herself to breathe, trying to sort out her thoughts.

  “I don’t know what this means for us, Suzette.”

  Eyes wide, she shot him a confused look.

  Reaching out, he took her hand in his. “I might make it through this, but there’s a chance I won’t.” He wouldn’t tell her there was an excellent chance he’d ingested too much poison to recover.

  Giving him a slow nod, she worried her bottom lip, inching closer to him. “All right. What can I do to help?”

  Relief washed through him. Tugging her to him, he settled an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t know what has and hasn’t been tampered with at my place.”

  “Then you’ll stay here.”

  “I don’t want to impose.”

  Drawing away, Suzette pinned him with a hard stare. “You would not be imposing.

  Even if few people know it, you’re my husband, Bay. You’ll stay here until we clear out or clean anything Doc Vickery thinks might be used for poison.”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled in a small show of amusement. “What will people think?”

  “I don’t care.”

  He choked out a rough chuckle, his hand moving to his stomach, pressing to relieve the pain. “You cared a great deal a few days ago.”

  Her voice rose, taking on an urgent edge. “A few days ago, I didn’t know you’d been poisoned by some maniac who’s too much of a coward to face you directly.”

  Bay lifted a brow. “A cowardly maniac, huh?”

  “What other kind of man would sneak poison into your whiskey instead of coming straight at you?”

  Bay nodded, acknowledging she had a point. Cupping her face with both hands, he touched his lips to hers. Feeling her melt into him, his mouth covered hers, becoming more insistent. At first soft and caressing, the kiss became hungry, searching, setting his body aflame.

  She shifted next to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, moaning when the kiss became more heated and urgent. Fingers sifting through the long hair at his nape, she let out a deep sigh. Feeling his arms slip underneath her, she gasped when he lifted and settled her on his lap.

  His hands skimmed over her back, the heat of their kiss burning through her blouse to singe his fingers. Currents of desire pulsed through him when she squirmed against him, the little control he had beginning to crumble.

  Breaking the kiss, his lips trailed down the soft curve of her neck, settling at the hollow at the base of her throat. Using his mouth on the sensitive skin until she squirmed once more, he tightened his arms around her.

  Raising his head, he nibbled at the corners of her mouth before brushing one more kiss across her lips and resting his forehead against hers.

  “We have to stop, sweetheart.”

  Reaching up, Suzette trailed fingers down his face, her warm smile traveling over him. “You’re right.” Moving off his lap, she stood, straightening her blouse. “I should see to your bedroom.”

  “Let me help you.”

  Turning, she rested her hands on her hips. “When was the last time you made up a bed?” She already knew the answer. He and August hired a housekeeper to come in twice a week, a luxury Suzette couldn’t afford. In St. Louis, she had been the one to clean the house and prepare most of their meals. August also had his man, a gentleman he’d known for years who acted as his valet and cook.

  Scrunching up his face, Bay shook his head.

  Chuckling, she dropped her hands to her sides. “I doubt you’ve ever made up a bed.” Whipping around, she headed up the stairs, hips swaying in a way Bay couldn’t miss.

  A grin tipped the corners of his mouth, a ball of warmth pooling in his stomach. She’d always done this to him, causing his body to react in a way no other woman could.

  Settling against the sofa, his mind drifted back to the restaurant, thinking of the man he’d seen. Closing his eyes, Bay wondered why he looked so familiar. And why, when he’d first spotted him, a piercing blast of dread shot through him. The same dread he felt now. Whoever the man was, Bay knew he wasn’t a friend. And he meant to cause harm.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Suzette stretched her arms above her head, feeling a wave of peace rush through her until she remembered Bay and the reason he slept in the bedroom next to hers. Sitting up, she threw back the covers.

  Last night had been long and disturbing. It had taken hours for her to fall asleep, her mind going over all she’d learned from Bay. Coupled with her own misgivings about giving their marriage a second chance, she found herself more conflicted than ever.

  As important as they were, her issues with trust would have to wait until Doc Vickery heard from the chemist. If he’d been poisoned, she wouldn’t leave Bay to work through the illness alone. Once he recovered, she’d face her problems with trust whenever they were together.

  With her additional role as the chef for the restaurant and hiring Ezekiel, Suzette had already made the decision to stay in Conviction, at least for a while. She loved her new job, although an assistant chef would need to be hired soon.

  After one night, Ezekiel appeared to be a success. Unless something changed, and ignoring the unintended misunderstanding with Bay, he’d soon be given more responsibilities in the hotel.

  Getting out of bed, she padded to the vanity, brushing her hair until it shined. Going through her ablutions, she swept her hair up, then dressed, intending to fix breakfast for the two of them.

  Stepping into the hall, Suzette moved to Bay’s door, softly knocking. “Bay?” When he didn’t answer, she knocked once more, calling his name again. “Bay, are you awake?”

  After another moment, she gripped the knob, debating an instant before turning it. With a gentle push, she stepped inside, jaw dropping. The bed was empty and appeared as if it had never been slept in. Glancing around, she saw Bay and his cloth
es were gone.

  Unexpected disappointment gripped her, as well as a good deal of concern. She’d seem him enter the room the night before and hadn’t heard him leave, even though her room was next door and she’d lain awake for hours.

  Moving closer to the bed, she studied it. Touching the spread, she felt the lumps in the blanket underneath, saw the pillow had been used. A trace of a grin appeared, relieved to know he’d at least stayed for a while. Unease took over as she wondered where he’d gone at such an early hour.

  Leaving the door open, she started downstairs, stopping at the sound of the front door opening. Holding her breath, she stepped back, waiting to see who appeared.

  “Suzette, are you here?”

  She let out a breath at Bay’s voice. “I’m upstairs.” Taking the stairs down, she met him near the kitchen door. “I didn’t know you’d left.”

  Bending, he kissed her cheek, holding up the satchel in his hand, his voice still holding a measure of weariness. “I woke early and decided to pack some clothes. You don’t object, do you?”

  “Of course not.” Although the thought of him living with her caused not a small amount of anxiety, Suzette knew making the offer was the right decision.

  “I’ll set this upstairs, then take you to breakfast.” He started to move past her, stopping when she touched his shoulder.

  “If you don’t mind, Bay, I planned to cook here.”

  An appreciative grin lit his face. “I’d like that.” He let his gaze wander over her, deriding himself for the hundredth time for leaving her behind. “May I help you?”

  Crossing her arms, she lifted a brow. “I didn’t know you’d learned to cook.”

  Shrugging, he glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen. “I haven’t, but you’re so good, I thought you could teach me.”

  The hopeful expression caught her attention. Gripping his arm, she held him still, studying his face.

  “You look much better this morning. How do you feel?”

  Setting down the satchel, he slid his hands up and down her arms. “Better than yesterday. For the first time in weeks, I woke up without the strong pounding in my head. It still throbs, but not as powerfully as yesterday.”

  Her eyes sparked with hope. “That’s wonderful.”

  He continued rubbing her arms, voice thickening as his gaze caught hers. “I’m still suffering from stomach cramps, and my hands and feet still tingle, but nothing compared to what I’ve been experiencing. By staying here, I hope to improve a great deal more.”

  Suzette didn’t have to understand his meaning. “Bay…” She let her voice trail off, glancing away.

  “Don’t say anything now.” He let his hands skim down her arms, threading his fingers through hers. “I understand you’re still struggling with me leaving without letting you explain. The decision destroyed your trust in me. If I could go back and live that day over again, I would. But I promise to do whatever I can to regain your faith in me and our marriage. Whatever you need, tell me.”

  Licking her lips, she felt a painful constriction in her chest. She hadn’t wanted to talk about this again, but his actions weighed on her so much, Suzette didn’t know if she could ever get past them. Moving away, she sat down at the dining room table, feeling as if her entire future hung on this discussion.

  “It’s the women, Bay. I can’t just set aside all you’ve done since I arrived in town. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to understand and forgive you.”

  He knelt in front of her, resting his hands on her knees. “As with St. Louis, I can’t take back my reprehensible actions. They were callous and cruel, meant to hurt you. But I swear, sweetheart, I never slept with any of them. There hasn’t been another woman in my bed since the first time we made love.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes, remembering that night. “I wish I could be angry. It would be so much easier than what I feel.”

  Lifting his thumb, he swiped an errant tear as it rolled down her cheek. “What do you feel?”

  “An utter, soul-gutting emptiness.” Licking her lips, she found herself trying to focus on anything except his face. “I always considered myself a strong woman. For a time after you left, I struggled. After several months, I regained my confidence and found a way to move on. When I accepted the offer from August, it seemed to be the next step in healing myself. And yes, I knew you were here, but August said I’d deal with him, having little, if any, contact with you.” Letting out a shaky breath, she shook her head. “Then you began coming into the restaurant, flaunting your women. And they weren’t just any women. Each one was more stunning than the last. I’d hoped one day, when I settled in and you accepted my presence, we could talk. When I saw you with the women, I realized how misplaced my hope was. You never had any intention of listening to me. All you wanted was revenge.”

  Standing, her voice hardened as she glared down at him. “I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to forget those nights, Bay. You showed a side of yourself I’d never imagined. If you put yourself in my place, perhaps you’ll be able to experience a small amount of what you put me through.”

  “Suzette—”

  “Please. Don’t push me on this, Bay. It will take more than a few apologies and vague promises to rid my mind of all you’ve done.”

  He stood, following her into the kitchen. When she moved to a counter, he stepped behind her, not touching her the way he wanted.

  “Everything you’ve said is true. If you’d done the same to me, I wouldn’t have the strength to stay in Conviction, face you every day. You’re stronger than I am, Suzette. You always have been. While you moved on, did your best to put my egregious behavior behind you, I became bitter, detesting you for what I thought you allowed Calvan to do. Hated myself for not having the courage to stay in St. Louis and confront you. Most of all, I hated myself for letting pride stop me from returning, telling you no matter what happened, I still loved you.” Moving closer, he took a chance, resting his hands on her waist. “I’ll always love you, Suzette. If it takes the rest of my life, I’ll work to win back your trust and your love.”

  Suzette put away the breakfast dishes, glad Bay decided to leave for his office early. She hadn’t responded to his plea to win back her trust. He may not realize it, but he’d never lost her love. It continued to beat as strong as the day they married.

  She wanted to find a way to trust him again. Shoving the hurt aside and forgetting the past wasn’t easy. In the months before Bay asked for her forgiveness and a second chance, Suzette thought she’d do anything to hear those words.

  Then he’d spoken them. Until that day, she thought those words were all she needed to make herself whole again. It had been a shock to learn loving Bay, knowing he wanted her back, wasn’t enough. Having his love again was wonderful. Putting her faith in him again wasn’t, and she didn’t know how to get it back.

  Bay understood her hesitancy, knew she struggled with trust. He promised to give her as much time as she needed. A lifetime, if it took that long.

  Time didn’t answer her biggest question. Suzette didn’t know how to trust him again.

  She’d thought moving to San Francisco, putting distance between them, might help. It had taken hiring Ezekiel and the chef leaving to make her see distance wasn’t the answer. She loved the added responsibilities at the restaurant, felt comfortable in Conviction, and liked the people.

  Jinny MacLaren Covington lived next door with her husband, Sam, his son, and Sam’s father. Over the months, Jinny had made numerous attempts to become friends. Suzette had avoided the overtures, not knowing how long she’d be in Conviction. She now had every intention of getting to know the delightful woman better.

  Suzette knew if she left, nothing would be resolved. The only way to figure out if she and Bay could ever find their way back to each other would be to stay, force herself to face the pain, and give them a chance.

  “Describe the man Seth saw.” Bay sat across the desk from Brodie, rubbing his temples while staring at the w
anted poster for Everett Hunt. Close, but not the man he saw outside the restaurant.

  “Short brown hair, no beard, the fancy clothes are gone. He’s wearing the shirt, pants, and hat of a rancher. Says he’s from Sacramento, but the sheriff there hasn’t heard of him and neither has anyone else he asked. Why do you want to know?”

  Bay ticked off the description as Brodie spoke, giving a slow nod. “I saw him last night outside the restaurant. He stared inside for a few minutes, then left.”

  “You’re certain it’s Hunt?”

  Nodding, Bay picked up the poster again, then set it down. “I’m certain the man I saw meets the description Seth gave you. If it is Hunt, then yes. I also believe he’s the one who left the poisoned whiskey.”

  Rubbing his chin, Brodie’s mouth tightened. “Why do you believe it’s this lad?” He touched a finger to the wanted poster.

  “I spoke to Jasper this morning, described the man I saw last night. Jasper is certain he’s the man who gave him bottles of whiskey for me. They’re the ones I gave to the doc.”

  Brodie leaned forward, his eyes narrowing. “Have you heard back from Vickery about the whiskey?”

  “It’s too soon. I’m hoping the chemist will send a telegram within the next few days.”

  A small grin touched Brodie’s lips. “You’re looking a wee bit better, lad.”

  Bay started to reply when the door slammed open. Camden and Bram MacLaren rushed inside, not acknowledging their cousin, Brodie, or Bay.

  “You need to come with us, lad. There’s shooting out at the Smith place.”

  Brodie stood and grabbed his hat, looking at Camden. “You’re certain it’s the Smith farm, lad?”

  “Aye. Uncle Ewan sent Bram and me to check on her. You know the lass leases the place from us.”