Nowhere but Up
Page 22
I noticed one of the especially feisty girls had grown unusually quiet. Then she lowered her head and timidly lifted up her hand. I nodded toward her and she began to speak, tears cascading down her face.
“I feel like I have nothing to offer my baby,” she sobbed. My heart broke as she continued to cry. I walked over to her and gave her a hug, holding her close for a few minutes. The other girls at the table nodded knowingly, brushing away compassionate tears from their own eyes. I imagine very few teen moms don’t feel like they fall short.
I encouraged this precious girl with a heart of empathy. “I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer either,” I admitted. “I was young when I had Justin, and I had been through a lot of sexual abuse and hard stuff. It’s part of the reason I’m here. I know how tough it is. I know exactly how you feel.”
I looked her in the eye and continued. “What do you have to offer? Love. Love is so powerful. And you have yourself to offer. It’s more than enough. If you take care of yourself, your life, and your heart, you can offer so much! Look at the kids who are born in third world countries. Their parents don’t have much to give them except themselves and their hearts. And those children are some of the happiest in the world! Trust me, you have plenty to offer your baby.”
I felt humbled by this girl’s honesty and honored that I could share with her my experiences, my insecurities, and my doubts and show her through my life that she could be a good mother to her baby, no matter how old she was.
I will always have a special place in my heart for teen mothers. But it’s not just teen moms who struggle or need to find hope. Whether you’re a single mom, an addict, or a victim of abuse . . . whether you’re on the verge of bankruptcy or the brink of divorce . . . whether you’re in a dysfunctional family or the product of a broken home . . . whether you battle depression or struggle with anxiety . . . whether you live in fear or hide in shame . . . whether you’ve been abandoned, rejected, or ignored—there is hope.
It doesn’t matter where you find yourself today—how broken, hurting, wounded, or ashamed you are. If God can help me find my way up, I promise, He can do the same for you.
Acknowledgments
To my son, Justin, my heart: I’m proud of you beyond words. You’ve brought so much joy into my life, and I’ve always known you were created for greatness. I’m grateful for you standing with me through this writing process. I know I haven’t been able to travel with you as much lately. Know that I’ve missed you. (PS: I just had a burst of love for you.)
To my parents: Mom, you are and always have been a good mother. I’ll always be grateful for your sacrifices for our family, from staying up nights when we were sick, to always being around, to cooking and cleaning every day and doing whatever it took to provide for our needs. Thank you, Mom. I love you. Bruce, thank you for being an amazing husband to my mom and loving her like you do. I know I wasn’t always the easiest daughter, but you were always a good and faithful dad. (I never did grow up to be that boxer, but I did write a book!) You both are unbelievable grandparents.
To my siblings: Candie, I always looked up to you. You were a great big sister. Thanks for always listening to me and giving me advice. Chris, thanks for being a protective older brother and always scaring the bullies away. Sorry for always getting you in trouble when we were younger. To the other Chris, thanks for letting us call you Chuck and for being sweet and always making me laugh. Sally, I can’t wait to meet you in heaven.
To Jeremy: I’m eternally grateful to you not only for giving me the greatest gift of my life, Justin, but also for becoming the man and father you are today. Though our relationship was rocky, I wouldn’t take any of it back or change any of it because God has turned it all around for good and continues to do so. My intentions are not to hurt you. With that said, this is my side of the story that could not be possible without you. I love you. There will always be a special place in my heart for you.
To Lesley, my publicist and my assistant/manager/advisor/whatever-I-need-in-the-moment beast: You are amazing! Above all else, you are a really great friend. I treasure you.
To A. J., my co-writer, a wife, a mother to a baby girl, and an author: I honestly don’t know how you do it. You work harder than any woman I know and somehow still manage to produce the gold. After countless hours together, I have gained a friend. We did it!
To Esther, my literary agent: Thank you for believing in me. You’re the best at what you do.
To Dwight Baker and the team at Revell: Thank you for your hard work, your patience, your diligence, and your expertise. A special thanks to Jennifer and Twila for going the extra mile (specifically, 267 miles for Jen to drive to Canada).
To my abusers: I forgive you.
Pattie Mallette, known to most of the world as Justin Bieber’s mom, is more than just the mother of a world-renowned pop sensation. Pattie walks a rarely traveled road parenting her son through the unpredictable journey of fame. As a young woman and a single mom, she fought hard to rise above her painful past of abuse, shame, and poverty. Pattie hopes to encourage troubled youth, struggling single moms, and the brokenhearted through her story. She continues to expand her outreach to young women and youth (including her nearly one million followers on Twitter) while overseeing the management of Justin and his team. Follow her on Twitter (@PattieMallette).
An accomplished writer, A. J. Gregory has collaborated with fascinating high-profile figures on nearly twenty books. She is also the author of Silent Savior and Messy Faith.