Mercy

by Jean Brashear

  The feel of Juliette’s hands still surrounded his, burning the flesh of his right hand with the knowledge that he had indeed failed her. He had tried, but in the end, Juliette’s son was dead. Her daughter lost. And Juliette herself had died, unaware of the rape, thank God, still trying to believe that Lucas hadn’t meant Paris’s death to happen.

  Mercy. Juliette had died, still with faith in him, mortal and flawed as he was. Lucas drove fingers into his hair and groaned from the depths of his soul. She had asked only this of him in exchange for her love.

  No one in his life had given him love except this woman and her golden twins. She was gone. Paris was gone. The bright promise of those years was no more.

  But Tansy remained. And for whatever misbegotten reason, she felt safe with him, cruel and wrong as that was, for no one had failed her more. His body hungered for a woman who was little more than a child, and in its hunger had betrayed them both. He could not have her, regardless of what he’d once dreamed.

  Despite all that, Lucas rose from his cot and dressed with haste. Like Juliette’s mercy, Tansy called him to return.

  Rusty armor and all.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mona was awake at dawn, too keyed up to sleep. In her bathroom, she pondered the box with the pregnancy test. Her hand hovered over it, but she didn’t touch. She wasn’t ready to use it. Knowing for certain would open up Pandora’s box. Once she was sure, she would have to act. Either tell Fitz or deliberately hide it. Make decisions about what to do. Despite her inner sense, she could tell herself she was imagining things and do nothing. Perhaps Tansy’s mist was comforting and secure. Mona craved one of her own.

  She withdrew her hand and slid it into the pocket of her robe. She’d focus on Tansy for now and deal with her own problems later. She’d placed some calls last night, longing to include Fitz among them, to confide in him about Walker and Tansy. But she hadn’t. So far he hadn’t come by to get any more of his things, and she was afraid to disturb the balance, no matter how desperately she desired his counsel. Counsel, hell. She smirked at herself. She missed Fitz, all of him—the messes he trailed all over the apartment, the crumbs on the counter, the socks on the floor. The sound of his tuneless humming when he was concentrating on his laptop.

  To sleep with him again seemed the finest luxury she could imagine, but she couldn’t see him yet, not until she’d worked things out in her mind. She could never keep a secret of this magnitude from him, and until she was sure what she should do, she couldn’t afford to tell him anything.

  Mona didn’t bother trying to fool herself that he’d ever forgive her if he was aware that she’d had an abortion. Once, maybe. Now… Regardless of his passionate belief in a woman’s right to choose, in his current state of mind, he’d be delirious with joy to realize that his child grew in her belly. For him to know that she’d taken that away from him would be the death knell of their marriage, she felt it in her bones.

  So she had two choices: terminate the pregnancy she believed was all but a foregone conclusion and never tell him…or bear the child Fitz wanted so badly. She couldn’t honestly say she was ready to do either yet.

  So she would think, instead, about Tansy. When things were settled there, she’d make herself take the test and face the consequences. But not yet.

  Mona dressed quickly and left a message on Gaby’s voicemail, then headed for her father’s apartment to stay until the security people came. She’d used her contacts to arrange, after hours, a firm that assured her Tansy would never have to be aware she was being followed. The longer Mona considered it, the more she believed that was the right way to approach this. Tansy’s range was already too restricted by her own hand; to deny her further movement would be to harm Tansy’s soul. She should be able to live much as she always had until they could determine if Lucas Walker was actually in contact with her. Once they knew, they could bring in the authorities and hope to have Walker arrested, maybe as a stalker. He’d be sent away to jail again—with luck, for the rest of his natural life.

  When she arrived, however, Carlton’s limo idled outside, and Mona’s temper kindled. She paused on the sidewalk and dialed Kat’s number on her cellphone, planning to leave her sister a message since lately she was always at Gamble’s.

  But Kat answered, her voice groggy. “Hello?”

  “What are you doing there? I assumed you’d be at Gamble’s. Is he there?”

  “No.” Kat’s voice sounded odd.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. He…he just had work to do.”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Of course I am,” Kat snapped. “Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?”

  “It’s Tansy.”

  “What’s wrong with her?”

  “I think Lucas Walker has been in contact with her.”

  “What? That sonofa—have you called the police?”

  “I’m on top of it, Kat. I don’t have time to explain, but I need you to get over here. I’m outside Daddy’s apartment and Carlton’s here. Daddy wants to let Carlton move her to his place—”

  Kat exploded in vicious swearing.

  “It’s worse than that. He’s softening on letting Carlton marry her so she can be taken care of when he’s gone.”

  “That bastard. I’ll be there in twenty minutes if I have to fly.”

  “I’ve got security arranged for her, and they’ll arrive soon. I can handle it myself, but I wouldn’t mind reinforcements.”

  “The Mounties are on their way, honey bun.”

  “Thanks, Kat.” Mona disconnected and entered the building.

  Mrs. Hodgson answered the door, her face troubled. “Mona, he can’t do this. My little Tansy should be here where things are familiar.”

  Mona squeezed the older woman’s shoulder. “Tansy’s not going anywhere, don’t you worry. Where is she?”

  “She’s still asleep, poor darling. She’s been having nightmares lately.”

  “I’ll handle it, Mrs. Hodgson. There will be a gentleman showing up later who’ll be guarding her, and Kat is on her way.” She saw the housekeeper’s grimace. “Kat’s a fierce fighter, and Tansy may need all of us.”

  Mrs. Hodgson nodded grimly. “You’re right about that. Kat and I don’t see eye to eye, but she loves her sisters more than anything in the world.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “They’re in the living room. I’ll bring you coffee.”

  Mona’s stomach lurched. “I’d better pass.” To spare the housekeeper’s feelings, she lied. “I’ve already had plenty.”

  Mona straightened, gathering dignity around her like a robe. Then she entered the living room and kissed her father’s cheek, noticing his nervous glance. She turned and offered her hand. “Carlton, how nice to see you.”

  Arrogance intact, Carlton returned the shake and went straight to the point. “Mona, I’m surprised to find that you don’t grasp the obvious sense in my plan. None of you has my resources to protect Tansy from that criminal. I’m shocked that you’d be so cavalier with her safety.”

  Kat had never liked Carlton, but Mona had always been able to deal with him well enough. Both of them had tolerated him because he was so important to their father, but he’d crossed the line now. “It was under your tender care that our sister was raped and our brother murdered.”

  His eyes narrowed. His nostrils flared.

  Martin intervened. “Desdemona, that’s uncalled for. Carlton couldn’t have predicted what happened, and he tried to save both of them.”

  She smiled for her father’s benefit, but her eyes spoke to Carlton. “Nonetheless, he cannot promise that she will be safe there any more than she is here.”

  “Of course I can. I have enormous resources to place at my disposal.”

  “I’ve already arranged for security for her, and you can’t give her what she has here—the comfort of familiar surroundings. Your place is filled with terrible memories.”

  “I’m redecorating. I can re-create her
entire room there, and I will, if that’s what she wants.”

  “There’s another thing you can’t provide. If Walker is in contact with Tansy, he’s got to be doing it somewhere nearby because she stays so close to home. The only way we’ll catch him is to keep her here.”

  “You would use her as bait, your own sister?” Carlton wore a look of horror.

  “I don’t want to. But you’re not getting anywhere in finding him, are you? She’s vulnerable until we find out where he is. Are you suggesting we wait until he decides to show himself openly? It could be years.”

  “She will be safe with me, and I’ll be sure she’s happy.”

  “She will never be happy without Paris.”

  Carlton dismissed that. “It’s an illusion. Paris isn’t in the park.”

  “Tansy believes he is. Are you prepared to take away the one thing that means more to her than anything in the world? She’s already so far away from us…can you assure us we won’t lose her for good if she’s robbed of that refuge?”

  Mona turned to her father. “Daddy, you can’t seriously be contemplating letting him do this. Tansy doesn’t want to go. She told me that. She was afraid, really afraid.”

  “If we explained why she should go…” Martin began.

  “No—” Carlton shot back. “We can’t explain this. The doctors told us not to force her to remember.”

  Mona smiled in triumph. “Then how do you propose to explain to her why she should live with you?”

  Kat’s voice chimed in from the doorway. “And why in the hell would she ever agree to marry you? That’s disgusting.”

  Mona turned to her sister and smiled.

  “Katharina, what are you doing here?” Martin asked.

  “I told you Mona and I would be responsible for Tansy. She’s our sister. You can’t abandon her to Carlton again.”

  “See here, young lady—”

  Mona noted the outrage on her father’s face and wished she hadn’t weakened and called Kat. She’d just about had it all sewed up; now her father was steamed, and Carlton looked dangerously grim. She reached out to stem any argument from Kat, but another voice intervened.

  “What’s going on?” Tansy asked, sounding sleepy. “Is something wrong?”

  Carlton was the first to speak, crossing the room to her side. “Nothing at all, my dear. I just dropped by to see your father. He’s very busy just now, and he thought you might like to stay with me for a few days. Now that Kat and Armand have shown you how much fun it could be to go to new places, we thought you might enjoy another new adventure.”

  Furious at his deceit, Mona observed Tansy shrinking from him slightly. Standing there in her white cotton gown and pale lavender robe, bare toes peeking out, she seemed unbearably young and fragile.

  Tansy eyed Kat. “I had fun with Kat and Armand, but I don’t want to leave Daddy.”

  “But your father won’t have much time for you until the run is over.”

  Tansy shrugged. “I’m fine right here. I don’t get lonely. Paris and I—” She glanced around uncertainly.

  “Of course you prefer to stay here.” Mona stepped between her and Carlton. Kat flanked Tansy’s other side.

  “This is your home. And if you want a new adventure, maybe you’ll decide to visit Kat’s apartment or mine. Perhaps we could have a slumber party one night.” Mona tried not to smirk at Carlton, but Kat showed no such restraint.

  Mona continued. “I thought I’d visit for a while this morning, since Daddy has to leave. Would you like that?”

  Tansy smiled. “Could Kat stay, too?”

  “You bet,” Kat said. “We’ll engage in some hen talk.”

  Tansy’s lips curved fondly. “Nana liked hen talk.” But her eyes still held shadows.

  Mona met Kat’s gaze, then nodded toward the hallway leading to Tansy’s bedroom.

  Kat signaled her comprehension. “Why don’t you brush your hair, sweetie. Or let me brush it for you, and Mona can join us in a minute.” She escorted Tansy out of the room.

  Mona spoke to her father and ignored Carlton. “She’ll be fine. We’ll stay here until the security people arrive.”

  “You won’t let her go to the park, will you?” Martin asked.

  “That’s probably where she’s been meeting him, Daddy. How do you propose we explain to her that she can’t go there when it’s part of her daily routine?” She patted his arm. “We aren’t even sure that any of this is warranted, remember that. Maybe the painting is just a trick of Tansy’s mind. But she’ll be guarded carefully by a team, and they know who they’re looking for.”

  “You may wind up very sorry that you’ve treated your sister’s welfare so casually,” Carlton warned. “No security is ever failsafe.”

  Mona stemmed a shiver. She was betting a lot on the security company; they were supposed to be the best. For a moment, doubt assailed her. If anything happened to Tansy—

  But then she recalled the plea on Tansy’s face. Don’t let him take me away. Which was worse?

  She hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake, one for which her sister might pay when she’d already sacrificed too much. Gripping her father’s hand, she faced Carlton. “My point exactly. Even your security wouldn’t be failsafe, and Tansy would be in a place she doesn’t wish to go, with the added risk of forcing her to remember things that might make her much worse. If you want to hire extra security, be my guest, but it seems to me the only kind thing to do is to let her stay in familiar surroundings.”

  Enmity shone in Carlton’s eyes, but she could also spot her victory.

  “Very well.” He addressed her father. “I’ll investigate Mona’s arrangements myself and if I’m at all dissatisfied with what I find out, I’ll arrange for any necessary improvements.”

  Mona gritted her teeth and remained silent. They all sought the same thing, after all: Tansy’s safety.

  “I’m very appreciative, Carlton,” her father replied.

  “As am I,” she forced herself to say. “Mrs. Hodgson can show you out.”

  Outrage at being dismissed flashed in his eyes, but Carlton nodded regally. “I’ll talk to you later, Martin.”

  “Why don’t you get ready for rehearsal, Daddy.” Mona patted her father’s arm, though she longed to punch Carlton in the nose. The thought made her smile. Kat wouldn’t have hesitated, and Mona could see the appeal.

  “Are you certain we’re doing the right thing, Desdemona? Titania must be safe. Juliette would never forgive me if—”

  “Mama would do exactly what we’re doing. She made this place a home for all of us, and she’d want Tansy to stay where she feels safe.”

  “I hope you’re right,” her father said. He left the room.

  Mona watched him go. No more fervently than I do.

  Riverside Park on this day had decided that spring would die stillborn. The wind whipping off the Hudson cut through Lucas, knife-sharp. His chances of encountering Tansy today were slim and none. If he had a brain in his skull, he’d get back on the next bus, go to Al’s and make a big pot of thick, hearty soup. The few customers they’d have would thank him.

  He would leave soon, but first he would sit on Mt. Tom and try to conjure up that feeling of peace he’d known with Tansy on one bright, spring-hopeful day.

  He found Darla on her usual bench. “It’s too cold to be out today, Darla.”

  The old woman smiled. “I’ve sat here through worse. The sun feels good.”

  Lucas scanned the tiny patch of sunlight and knelt beside her. “Would you like to go with me to have a cup of coffee?”

  She studied him fondly. “Tansy’s right—you are a prince.” But she shook her head. “My squirrels would miss me.”

  Lucas stayed with her a few moments longer, helping her feed her squirrels. When he failed to persuade her to leave and seek shelter, he gave up and continued toward Mt. Tom.

  It was there, perched on the bald knob, that he spotted his enemy, Carlton Sanford, for the first time in twenty
years.

  And he knew why he’d had to come.

  There was some comfort in noting Sanford’s slower stride. Slight satisfaction in noting the gray shot through his hair. But Sanford still bore himself as though he had some divine right to take what he wished, to destroy lives at a whim, to focus on his own pleasure, no matter the cost to others.

  Conflict raged inside the heart of Lucas Walker. He longed to race down the slick stone, grab Sanford and take out on him twenty years’ worth of a boy’s desecrated dreams, of a grown man’s knowledge of failure. He burned to avenge Tansy and Paris, the ruin of two shining lives. If he could destroy Sanford, all he’d lived through would be worthwhile, no matter that he himself would not survive it.

  But there was Tansy to consider, Tansy the beautiful innocent. She’d lost twenty years, too, and she was still in danger, no matter that no one was aware of it but him.

  As Lucas contemplated his nemesis on this cold, sun-starved day, he clenched his hands in a futile wish to turn back time. To be not Galahad—too blinded by ideals to recognize true evil—but the Michael Tansy thought him, avenging archangel and protector of those whose hearts were too pure to guard themselves.

  Like Tansy.

  Sanford stopped outside the car and surveyed his surroundings as if scenting the breeze for his prey.

  Lucas shivered, but it was not the cold he felt. As he watched Sanford enter his limousine, he recognized that his chances of surviving the coming confrontation were almost nil. Sanford had the power; Lucas had only longing…and old dreams doomed to die.

  His own survival wasn’t important, but Tansy’s was everything. He was certain somehow that Sanford was here because of him, that like predators destined by nature and fate to be always at odds, each had a heightened awareness that the other was near.

  Lucas’s time incognito was coming to an end. Very soon, he must act.

  As the limousine pulled away, a rusty warrior prayed to be equal to the task.

  Tansy sat very still as Kat brushed her hair, her eyes fixed on the window that overlooked the park. “Your hair’s so pretty,” Kat said. “Maybe I should grow mine out.” Or shave her head. Or take a trip. Something. Anything to make this damn shaky feeling go away.