Honest Man: A BWWM Romance
Page 5
The atmosphere is tense, Brittany's walking away with her nanny. I need to leave as soon as possible. I try to remain calm, but John's making me nervous.
Earlier, he was very touchy and… I like it. In fact, I love it. But it's crazy, right? The rules aren't working, and we've done it. He's such a temptation.
After Brittany disappeared with her nanny, I walk away, but John drags me back. I turn to him, my heart on my throat. The look in his eyes says it all. Between the two of us, I'm the one without the courage to talk to him about us.
He can really read my mind of wanting to talk, but I'm afraid to take the initiative.
There's a lot in my mind. I want to tell him that last night was wonderful, but we can't do it again. That's why we set up the rules, right?
I want to inform him that we can't do it ever again… because it hurts too much. But of course, I won't tell him the last part. It's enough that I'll be the only one to know that I love him. I've fallen in love with John, hook, line, and sinker.
This man isn't into long-term relationships, and I'm only setting up myself for heartbreak. I raise my chin to speak up.
"Wait," John seizes my hand and refuses to let go.
"What is it? There are rul-" I want to say it clearly to him, but I stop dead. John's kisses make the blood rush to my brain, preventing me from forming coherent thoughts. He makes my sanity pops like a balloon, disappearing like air.
His lips touch mine, invading me like a primal animal with no care to anything else. John's kiss ravages and conquers like a battalion of an army with the ferociousness of a savage beast that's meant to break the walls surrounding my heart.
And he did. He's successfully breaking my walls one by one. Different, unfamiliar emotions batter my mind and heart, making me unwilling to stop, and a partner to his wild, primal kisses.
We separate as we take a deep breath, never breaking eye contact. My body's so hot, feeling like I'm about to burst. This is the moment when our emotions are naked, for our eyes to discern.
The time when… I'm most vulnerable, and it's clearly reflected in my eyes. Unconsciously, my hand raises to touch John's face, but the moment breaks when Brittany appears by the doorway.
"I forgot something," Brittany blinks her enormous eyes, and she runs upstairs. Silence reigns, without anyone breaking it. We're in our own world, thinking about what happened. Should I say something?
"I have to go-" Both of us say at the same time. We stare at each other, feeling the awkwardness of the moment. It looks like no one wants to break this stalemate, definitely, not me.
"I'm back, but I'm not going to granny. I want to go with mommy to the store. I promise I'll behave," Brittany says as she walks down the stairs. She's oblivious to the atmosphere.
I envy children.
"Why?" I ask her. The nanny appears and answers the question for Brittany.
"It seems that granny Lea needs to visit the dentist today," the nanny says. It’s the granny from next door.
"Oh, it means that you don't need to come, but don't worry, I'll pay you for your normal charge, Anna," I tell her.
"Thank you, Mrs.," Anna looks happy.
"I'll send it to your account later," I add. Brittany beams, and clings on my legs.
"Leaving now?" John asks huskily. I nod my head.
"Yeah, I prepared everything," I reply to him. All my files are with me, and I've already taken a bath earlier.
"I see, have a good day. Bye, princess. Take care of mommy, okay?" John pets Brittany's head.
"Yes, daddy!" Brittany happily replies and, so, with a wave of my hand, I go with Brittany leaving John in the house. I didn't look back, afraid that I might run to him and kiss him there. I sigh, trying to reign in my emotions.
I can't concentrate. The numbers in my mind are jumbled up, and I can't do anything at all. My mind's on John. It refuses to cooperate with me.
The accounting book in front of me… damn it, it's not helping at all. I have to catch up with my work, so I'm doing my unfinished work from yesterday, but it's no use. I slump on my table, my chin leaning on the edge.
Brittany looks up from the floor; actually, she's sitting on a fur carpet. She tilts her head and stares at me and her beautiful eyes the picture of innocence.
"Hi, darling," I tell her. "Tired with playing the dolls? Mommy will take you out later."
Brittany puts her doll down and walks toward me. I move my chair back to give her space in between my legs. She leans on in between my legs, her small face on her palms.
Her eyes are a picture of curiosity.
"Mommy, I saw you kissed daddy," Brittany tells me matter-of-factly. I blush, damn, she saw it? Children are not supposed to see it! I need to be careful next time.
So, it means there's a next time?
I blush harder as I realize my thoughts.
"Do you like kissing daddy, mommy? Uncle Johnny?" Brittany blinks her eyes at me. Being watched by those bright eyes of hers, you can't lie. I think for a minute and decides to be honest.
"I do, honey," I reply to her, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Why didn't you like kissing him before? I didn't see you do it," Brittany inquires simply. I bite my lips, embarrassed with this innocent line of questioning.
"I… I change, honey. I like your Uncle Johnny now. Isn't he daddy now? People change, honey," I answer to her. I never thought of him as anyone kissable before. He's extremely hot, but I simply didn't think about it.
Brittany smiles widely at me. Thank God, she seems to be satisfied with my answer. She walks back to her dolls and continues to play.
Gosh, that was like the worst interrogation ever. How do you answer your four-year-old daughter when she questions you like that?
I can't help but wonder about what's going to be my next more. I shake my head… thinking that the only thing I can do right now is to take things one day at a time.
Thirteen
John
Unexpected is the best description.
I didn’t expect such a thing to happen to me. Falling in love? It wasn’t on my agenda, and especially not to my friend, Charlene. But you can never dictate the heart, right?
You can’t command a person’s heart about what to do. It does whatever it wants and craves whatever it craves.
I sigh, leaning my head on my swivel chair. Files of paper that need to be signed and reviewed are in my table, but I don’t have the focus nor the energy to take care of it. All I can think about right now is Charlene.
What is she doing now? Does she think about me?
I smile as I picture Charlene’s face… she’s so beautiful to the point that I really want to be with her and never let her go.
I break out from my reverie when I hear the knock on the door. I clear my throat before telling the person to come in.
“It’s open, come in,” I say as I try to act like I’m busy reading and signing some files. I fix the papers on my table, acting busy. I look up when I hear footsteps.
It’s one of my partners- Jameson. He’s also a friend of mine, we went to college together.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask him as I lean on my chair comfortably. I try to look the same as always, but my mind wanders again to Charlene when I smell a similar perfume wafting outside of my office.
Damn, she’s all I can think about. She’s all I can see, and everything I smell is all about her. Crazy, right? I think I’m obsessed.
“John, do you have the purchasing agreement for the 1964 Ford Mustang? The buyer is here, and he wants to see the complete file for the Mustang,” Jameson stands in front of me, tapping the table.
Damn, I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t catch up on what he said.
“John? Earth to John? Are you there?” Jameson snaps his finger in front of my face. I almost jump out of my seat. Fuck, thoughts of her are really making me insane. I can’t listen to anyone else because of Charlene.
“What was it again?” I ask him, giving him my attention.
I’m not prone to distractions and always focus on my job. I won’t be sitting in this position if I don’t have the capability and the attitude to win.
I sigh, a woman, really might make or break a man.
“What’s that sigh for?” Jameson asks me curiously. I shake my head.
“What Mustang?”
Jameson looks shocked. “Wow, I never thought that this day will ever come. You, of all people, is distracted. I salute the person who’s causing you to be like this. Is it a woman? Nah, I don’t think so.”
Jameson is having a one-man conversation with himself. Charlene’s not just any other woman. She’s the only one who dares to tell me things to my face if I need it some lashing.
“What Mustang?” I ask irritably, I don’t want to listen to his rant.
“Our newest acquisition, the 1964 Mustang, remember?” Jameson asks me like he’s talking to a child. I glare at him and absentmindedly hands him the file.
“What’s gotten into you today? You look distracted,” Jameson asks me again.
“I’m a married man,” I say to Jameson. Pregnant silence follows my statement, Jameson looks like he didn’t comprehend what I said.
“I said, I’m a married man. I married Charlene yesterday,” I state clearly and longer this time. I gaze at his face… the change on it is comical from shock to disbelief and, lastly, to joy.
“Are you saying you married Charlene? That sweet, ultra-gorgeous woman?! You’re one lucky dork!” Jameson slaps my back.
“Damn, man! That hurts! Are you really congratulating me, or are you angry at me?” I ask him. Jameson chuckles.
“Man, I’m happy for you and Charlene, okay? Charlene’s a catch, man. Don’t let her go, okay?” Jameson states.
“What? Am I not a catch, too?” I ask him as I roll my eyes at him. He doesn’t have to say it, I’ll do it.
“You’re a catch, too, man. This is the reason why you’re perfect for each other. It’s about goddamn time that you become adults, and realize that you’re in love with each other,” Jameson shakes his head. “It took a long time because you’re pretty dense, and insists on your womanizing ways. You were dumb.”
“Dumb? Womanizing ways? Do you plan to shred my character?” I scoff. Jameson chuckles.
“That was before, but now, not anymore. Anyway, congratulations again. You didn’t even tell me about it. I bet you’re scared that I’ll tell Charlene all your dirty little secrets.”
“Shut up, we both know that you just arrived from your business trip, and it was an unplanned wedding,” I tell him, indignant.
“Yeah,” Jameson grins. “Thanks for this, I’m going now.”
I stare at the door until Jameson disappears. His words resonated in my mind. Damn, I guess he was really right. I’m dumb for not noticing what the others are seeing. I fixed my eyes on other women, and I didn’t know the jewel beside me.
It was very foolish of me. All those times that I missed her… damn, that’s how it is, huh. I shouldn’t have attributed it to our friendship. I always nag her like a woman.
Also, I always see the flaws in the men she’s trying to date. Damn, those things that I did and pointed out to her about men are probably brought out by my jealousy.
I underestimated my stupidity. I shake my head, thinking that I’ve wasted so many years, almost losing her forever for a few times to other men. I cringe at the thought of it.
Never.
This time, I’m going to make sure that I’ll cherish her.
Fourteen
Charlene
I keep glancing at John, but he’s still very busy. When can I talk to him? I anxiously grip the fork and stab the steak really hard. I grimace, Rosalie- John’s mom- keeps glancing at me.
Rosalie gracefully wipes her mouth with the napkin and asks me.
“What is it?” She asks me nicely. Rosalie’s every bit of a lady, I’m actually ashamed by my behavior.
“I’m fine, mom,” I’m still not used to the word, but she looks happy every time I call her that. “The steak’s really delicious.”
“I’m glad you like it,” she taps on my hand. “Don’t mind the men, they’re always like that. They’ve their own world, especially when it’s about business. They forget us, wives, so we have to bond together and kick them out of bed later.”
Rosalie giggles softly. She stares at her husband with eyes shining full of love.
“When I was younger, I throw tantrums, darling,” Rosalie takes a sip of her wine. “You should listen to my advice.”
Rosalie didn’t let up the entire dinner and after it, too, for a while. I didn’t get a single chance to talk to John, she occupied all my attention. John’s busy talking about business to the bankers too.
Brittany’s busy playing with her dolls, and she keeps running around us. I’m glad that she didn’t go and disturb her daddy. Rosalie dotes on her too; even before John and I got married, they already like Brittany.
“Mommy, play with me,” Brittany drags me to the playroom. I look apologetically at Rosalie.
“I understand,” Rosalie smiles at me and waves us away. I follow after Brittany to the room, playing with her dolls and her new dollhouse until it’s forty-five minutes past eight.
“Time to sleep, honey,” I caress her hair. “You need your sleep so that you’ll grow to be beautiful and tall.”
Brittany smiles and yawns. “Mommy, carry me.”
The little girl raises both her arms, I pick her up and carries her upstairs. Her room is beside the master’s bedroom that we’re currently occupying now.
“Let’s wash first, honey, and change you to your hello kitty pajamas, okay?” Brittany nods. This is her sleeping routine, washing, changing, and storytelling. After changing, I tuck her in the bed.
“Mommy, read me snow white’s story,” Brittany says to me. I smile and caress her face.
“Sure, baby,” I read her the story, and in the middle of it, Brittany dozes off. I smile and kisses her forehead. “Goodnight, darling.”
I walk out of the room, tiptoeing. John should be down, right? I mean, he should be in the sitting room. I go back, intending to talk to him, but he’s still engrossed in conversation with his father and the bankers.
I don’t want to disturb them. Rosalie’s not around too, she’s probably in her room. Well, I guess I can only retreat and wait for Johnny. Maybe read some books.
I walk back to the master’s bedroom, shower, and read a book that I’ve postponed reading. Finally, I had the chance to read this now. But right after only a few chapters, my eyes are drifting close.
I’m really sleepy. Sleep claimed me.
I don’t know how long I slept when I feel someone crawl beside me. I drowsily opened my eyes, and it’s John. He drags me closer to him, I burrow my body to his, craving his warmth. I love this feeling, his arms surrounding me.
John smells so good, and his presence secures me. It’s only him that can do this to me. I feel him caress my hair.
“Go back to sleep, baby,” John whispers. I feel him kiss my forehead. I smile, holding on tightly to his waist.
“Hmmm,” I moan in comfort. I hope it’s like this every day.
Warm and comfy. I love feeling like this. My hands roam all over John’s chest, feeling his tight muscles, enjoying the shape of it. I lick my lips, my eyes still close.
John moans as he captures my hand, then, I hear the door open loudly. My eyes snap open, and I sit up abruptly. Brittany’s standing by the edge of the bed.
John chuckles.
“It won’t be good if… something else…” John chuckles while he didn’t finish his sentence. I blush hard and glare at him. Why didn’t he lock the door last night?
“Mom, it’s time to get up,” Brittany says to me as she jumps on the bed
. I giggle when she gives me a wet kiss on both my cheeks and on my lips.
“Good morning, darling,” I say to her.
“How about me?” John asks Brittany playfully, he’s pouting like a child. Brittany giggles, then, John grabs her to him. He starts tickling her. I watch them enjoy each other’s company, and I can’t help but feel blessed.
Yeah, Brittany and I are blessed to have John with us.
“Stop, daddy! St...op!” Brittany shouts, laughing as he tries to fend off his father’s fingers. John chuckles, too, having fun. They look like a real father and daughter.
John has always been here for Brittany and me since Brittany’s father died due to the car crash. I would have thought that I won’t be able to do it if not for his support. John has supported me through thick and thin.
He was there in every milestone of Brittany since her birth. It looks like I’m fortunate, maybe I was a hero in my past life. I laugh when I watch Brittany pushes her daddy’s face away with her foot, laughing.
“Princess, I surrender! I surrender!” John shouts as he raises his hands in surrender. “You’re good, great princess!”
Brittany giggles.
“Piggyback me, and let’s raise with mommy downstairs!” Brittany jumps on her father, and John nods. He turns around, and Brittany climbs on his back. I smile, feeling warm inside.
I don’t know why I feel so emotional right now. My tears are about to fall, I blink my eyes. Damn, I can’t believe they’re making me cry so early in the morning.
John and Brittany go down, John shouting for me to race them. I watch them run downstairs.
“I’m taking a shower!” I tell them as I wave them away. When the water hits me, it refreshes my mind and body. I feel like our situation… is just right and will definitely work out.
I feel and believe it.
Fifteen
John