BOOGEYMEN

by Mel Gilden

  Troi was fanning herself with one hand. She said, “We can’t go anywhere else. The captain will look for us here.”

  “Wouldn’t want to disappoint the captain,” Baldwin said.

  “I have a feeling,” Dr. Crusher said, “you’ve already disappointed the captain.”

  “How’s that?”

  “He wouldn’t say.”

  “Good old honorable Jean-Luc.”

  After a long silence during which nothing moved but Troi’s hand and drops of sweat, Troi said, “Why don’t you tell us about it?” Baldwin gave no sign that he’d heard her. She added, “Just to help pass the time.”

  No one else said anything so after a while Baldwin began to speak. He started with his washing out of Starfleet Academy, an event that he now seemed to find humorous, and then told them how he’d entered the University of Syrtis Major on Mars. He’d made a big name there as a hot-shot exologist who took chances that paid off. After that his career was one adventure after another, with rest periods during which he piled up more honors than any exologist who’d come before him. He became a romantic public figure as well as a scientist.

  “And,” he said, “I picked up a few enemies. People who were upset that I wanted to work for museums instead of for them. Which brings me to how I disappointed your captain. Are you listening, Pilgrim?”

  As usual, Pilgrim said nothing.

  Baldwin said, “You all know about the Boogeyman-d’Ort’d virus?”

  “I don’t,” Ensign Perry said.

  “According to Captain Picard, it’s the computer program that’s responsible for the breakdown of the Enterprise.”

  “We cannot stop the Boogeymen,” Pilgrim said, surprising everyone.

  “You’re not alone,” Baldwin said. “Anyway, I brought the d’Ort’d program on board not only to study but to use as a tool that would remove my name from all Federation records.”

  “Why?” said Troi.

  “I assume you want to know why I would want to remove my name, not why I brought the program on board. Remember Commander Mont? He was not my only enemy. I wanted to disappear. Let my enemies chase one another for a change.”

  “And?” said Dr. Crusher darkly.

  “And somehow the d’Ort’d program got out of hand. Somehow the Boogeyman program hooked up with it and began to take over the ship.”

  Dr. Crusher said, “You’re responsible for the condition of the ship?”

  “You see,” said Baldwin. “Now I’ve gone and disappointed you, too.”

  Ensign Perry had her face scrunched up in thought. Whatever she was thinking about, she was still working it through when she said, “So you used this d’Ort’d program to erase your name from Federation records?”

  “Right.”

  “And now you’d like to erase this Boogeyman program, but save the d’Ort’d program.”

  “Right,” said Dr. Crusher. “But nobody can pry them apart.”

  While Ensign Perry thought some more, Troi said, “I have an idea.”

  Baldwin smiled. “I didn’t know you were a computer expert, too.”

  “I’m not—but then, neither were you,” Troi pointed out.

  “What is it, Deanna?” Dr. Crusher asked, somewhat impatiently.

  “Well . . . why not replace the Professor Baldwin reference string, which Eric put in the d’Ort’d program, with the Boogeyman program? That way, instead of searching for and erasing Professor Baldwin, the d’Ort’d program will search for and erase the Boogeymen.”

  Baldwin sat up straight, his eyes wide with astonishment. “That’s absolutely brilliant. Why didn’t one of us computer geniuses think of it?”

  “The forest for the trees,” Dr. Crusher said. “You were looking for a complicated solution.”

  “What is absolutely brilliant?” Picard said as he and the others walked onto the holodeck.

  “Captain,” Ensign Perry said and stood up.

  “We didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Dr. Crusher said.

  Riker said, “We’re on our way to deck ten to try out the various solutions La Forge and his team have come up with.”

  “None of them seem perfect,” La Forge said.

  Baldwin said, “Counselor Troi has a good idea.”

  With a little encouragement from Picard, Troi explained her proposal. Picard and Riker nodded. La Forge, Data, and Wesley seemed to be struck dumb with amazement. Troi tried hard not to show how pleased she was, but a satisfied smile broke through her composure.

  Data, the first to recover, said, “It is quite elegant.”

  “It’ll work,” La Forge said.

  “Pretty good,” Wesley admitted, obviously unhappy about something.

  Dr. Crusher said, “Give yourself a break, Wesley.”

  “Yeah.” Wesley finally smiled, too.

  La Forge said, “How would you like a job down in Engineering, Counselor?”

  Troi looked embarrassed and Picard said, “I assure you, Mr. La Forge, Counselor Troi is much too valuable to me up on the bridge. Pilgrim, how does the search-and-replace idea seem to you?”

  “We will fight the Boogeymen this way.”

  “That sounds like agreement to me,” Riker said. “I suggest we stop congratulating ourselves and get to work.”

  “Indeed,” said Picard. “Shall we all adjourn to deck ten?”

  Picard was happy to get back into the stairwell where it was cool. His people streamed out behind him as they mounted the stairs, a little optimism in the air for a change. He was on a landing, ready to climb the final staircase to deck ten when the emergency Klaxon began to whoop.

  “Red alert, red alert,” a Boogeyman cried. “All lifeboats away!”

  As the sound of lifeboats being ejected into space pounded through the walls, Picard shouted, “Mr. La Forge!”

  La Forge was already at an access box punching in codes while Data and Wesley looked over his shoulder. They were still at it when a Boogeyman cried, “All airlocks, arm explosive bolts. Prepare for emergency jettison! All isolating hatches open! Five minutes by my mark!”

  “Override, Mr. La Forge,” Riker shouted.

  La Forge turned to him and said, “Override impossible, sir. The Boogeymen have hatch and airlock control routed in such a way that we can’t override without shutting down the warp engines’ antimatter containment fields.”

  “We’re doomed either way,” Wesley said.

  Worf nodded. “It is a good day to die.”

  “Mark!” said the Boogeyman and immediately began the five-minute countdown. Another Boogeyman cried, “We win! We win!”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “COME ON,” said Picard as he bounded up the stairs. He could not pull the hatch open. “Jammed,” he said.

  Worf and Data tried together to open it, and at last, with a creak and a groan from the hatch, they succeeded.

  The Klaxon continued, and the Boogeyman announced calmly, “Four minutes twenty seconds and counting.”

  Picard set his fingertips against the blue panel outside the computer core control center. It seemed to take forever before the computer, using the voice of a Boogeyman, said, “Ensign Jean-Luc Picard is not cleared for this area.”

  Everybody but Picard, Data, and Wesley was astonished by this.

  “Mr. Crusher,” Picard said, trying to keep calm. Wesley stepped forward and set his fingertips against the ID panel. “Captain Wesley Crusher is identified,” the Boogeyman said.

  “Open control center,” Wesley said.

  “Three minutes fifty seconds,” a Boogeyman said and laughed.

  “Clearance confirmed,” another Boogeyman said, and the doors slid open. The security field went down with a snap.

  Everyone gathered inside. La Forge studied the schematic of Enterprise’s computer system and said, “What a mess.”

  “Mr. Data?” Riker said.

  Data stood poised next to the proper port, cable in hand. He said, “Given the constraints under which we are working, I think it
best for me to input Counselor Troi’s changes directly.”

  Dr. Crusher said, “Last time you tried that you got the flu.”

  “He was in passive mode last time,” La Forge said.

  “Still,” Picard said, “what Mr. Data suggests is dangerous.”

  “Three minutes thirty seconds and counting.”

  Data said, “We really do not have the time to argue.”

  “Make it so,” Picard said.

  Using the cable, Data plugged himself into the port, and his eyes began to move as if he were zip-scanning a book.

  “Abort airlock jettison sequence,” Picard shouted. He did not have much faith his order would be obeyed, but there was nothing else to do.

  “Three minutes twenty seconds and counting.”

  “Try it, Wesley,” Picard said.

  “Abort airlock jettison sequence.”

  For a moment it seemed as if Wesley had succeeded, and then the Boogeyman said, “Three minutes ten seconds and counting.”

  “Come on, Data,” Dr. Crusher said.

  Picard wanted to say the same thing though he knew such encouragement was pointless. Events moved slowly. Hours came and went between ten-second calls.

  “Three minutes.”

  Data continued to input the program changes. The others concentrated on him as if their thoughts and wishes could make his job go faster, ensure its success.

  “Two minutes fifty seconds.”

  “Abort airlock jettison sequence,” Picard commanded.

  “Two minutes forty seconds.”

  “Abort airlock jettison sequence,” Wesley said.

  The countdown and the Klaxon continued. Data worked.

  “Two minutes,” the Boogeyman said and laughed.

  Data pulled the cable from the port and from his head and said, “The Boogeyman reference string is installed.”

  “There goes the d’Ort’d virus,” La Forge said and pointed to a small magnifying glass symbol leaping from place to place on the schematic, leaving behind replicas of itself. It flashed and moved on. Picard knew that parts of the computer did not have to call on the modified virus program to make it spread. It would go where the Boogeyman-d’Ort’d program was already in place. As fast as it was, the process seemed painfully slow.

  “Will it work fast enough?” Wesley said.

  “Will it work at all?” La Forge said.

  “One minute fifty seconds.”

  At one minute, Picard gave the abort order again. Then Wesley gave it. They tried every ten seconds thereafter.

  “Thirty seconds to emergency airlock jettison,” a Boogeyman said and laughed.

  Chapter Seventeen

  WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE, Picard thought calmly. The mysterious force that Riker claimed watched over ships called Enterprise had failed at last. And no one would ever know why. Someday a Federation starship would come out to Tantamon IV to investigate Enterprise’s disappearance. They would find wreckage, evidence of an antimatter breech, and absolutely no clue as to why this had happened. Nothing they found on the planet would help them. Picard could not even send a helpful message without contaminating every computer in the Federation.

  That was all right. The Federation did not need warning—though the mystery of the lost Enterprise would probably be the subject of cocktail party talk for months. It was unlikely such a tragedy would occur again. Without the unhappy coincidental meeting of the d’Ort’d, Baldwin’s desire to disappear, and Wesley’s Boogeymen, this tragedy would not have happened even once. So much for Riker’s mysterious force.

  “Twenty seconds to emergency jettison.”

  Picard’s people were taking it well. Perhaps they could not comprehend the enormity of the tragedy. One could imagine the death of loved ones, perhaps even one’s own death. But it was more difficult to believe the death of one’s entire universe.

  “Ten seconds to emergency jettison.”

  “Abort sequence,” Picard said. Wesley repeated the command.

  “Sequence aborted,” said the normal computer voice.

  At first Picard thought he’d heard wrong. Then he thought this must be another Boogeyman trick: give the dullards hope, then snatch it away from them.

  But the Klaxon had stopped. Gravity was normal. Temperature seemed to be returning to normal. The only sounds he heard were the hiss of the air recyclers and the small movements of the people around him.

  “Is it over?” Ensign Perry said.

  Picard said, “Apparently so.”

  Perry started to cry with relief, and Troi comforted her. They all comforted one another. With some embarrassment, Picard found himself hugging Dr. Crusher. He patted her on the back and pulled away. She smiled at him. He gave her back a quick professional smile and turned to watch La Forge and Data study the schematic and point things out to each other. Then La Forge sat down at one of the terminals and began to type.

  While watching the schematic, Data said, “Interlocks now in place and functioning normally.”

  “Technology,” said La Forge. “I love it.”

  Picard said, “Thank you, Mr. Data, Mr. La Forge, Mr. Crusher. Thank you all. Every one of you contributed to our success.”

  Wesley said, “I guess the Boogeymen didn’t win after all.”

  “You needn’t sound so smug, Mr. Crusher,” Picard said. “It was a very near thing for us.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Riker said, “How does it look, La Forge?”

  “All systems apparently nominal, sir.”

  “Apparently?”

  “According to the instruments,” La Forge said.

  Riker did not appear pleased with this answer, but he said no more.

  “What about the d’Ort’d?” Baldwin said.

  La Forge said, “Computer, what is the condition of Pilgrim, the d’Ort’d persona on holodeck three?”

  “Program running.”

  “Continue program,” Picard said. “Let’s find out if systems are nominal in reality as well as in appearance. All bridge personnel please join me on the bridge.”

  “We’re going to take the turbolift, aren’t we, sir?” Wesley said, sounding a little worried.

  “Have you another suggestion?”

  “Uh, no, sir.”

  Picard said, “The rest of you wait here till we contact you.”

  “Aye, Captain,” La Forge said.

  They walked to the turbolift and the doors opened. All seemed normal, but Riker said, “I suggest that you and I take separate cars.”

  “If you insist, Number One. Wesley, Mr. Worf.”

  The three of them got into the car. The doors shushed closed, and Picard said, “Bridge.”

  The car began to move immediately. The sound and smooth ride seemed normal to Picard. He smiled at Worf and Wesley. They nodded back, but without confidence. The car slowed and stopped, and the doors opened onto the bridge. On the viewscreen, Tantamon IV turned placidly. Worf and Wesley seemed surprised they had arrived at the right place, and the truth was, Picard was surprised himself, though pleased.

  Picard found Ensign Winston-Smyth pacing. “Sir!” she cried when she saw Picard and Worf and Wesley, and ran toward them. Her joy at seeing Picard again was obviously real, but he was certain her feelings were more professional than personal. An ensign could be no more comfortable commanding the bridge—even if the Boogeymen made the job largely honorary—than Picard had been asking her to do it.

  “Anything to report, Ensign?” Picard said.

  “The life craft are all gone, sir, but we still have our airlocks in place.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Picard said. “Ensign, you are relieved.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Winston-Smyth walked quickly to the turbolift. The doors opened and Riker got out with Data and Troi. The ensign ducked into the turbolift and was gone.

  “No adventures I trust, Number One?”

  “None, sir.”

  Picard raised his voice and said, “Mr. La Forge?”

&nb
sp; “Here, sir.”

  “Please escort Professor Baldwin to holodeck three and wait for me there.”

  “Aye, sir.”

  “Dr. Crusher, it is safe for you to return to sickbay. Ensign Perry, return to your post.”

  Perry and Dr. Crusher acknowledged, and Picard said to Riker, “Much more convenient than running messages through the gangway.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Lieutenant Shubunkin,” Picard called.

  “Is that you, Captain?” Shubunkin said over the comlink.

  “Indeed it is, Lieutenant. Please meet me on holodeck three.”

  “Is that possible, sir?”

  “It is. Please comply.”

  “Aye, sir.”

  “Number One, you have the bridge.”

  “Aye, sir.”

  “Ensign Crusher, please join me.”

  Wesley beamed as the two of them got onto the turbolift. He said, “Sir, I’d like to try the Boogeyman program mark two.”

  “You do not astonish me, Ensign.”

  “Yes, sir. Do I have your permission?”

  Picard knew he could not deny Wesley permission to experiment with the holodeck any more than he could deny an experiment to someone in his science section. Besides, it was not the young man’s fault that he had timed his first Boogeyman experiment to coincide with the arrival of Professor Baldwin’s doctored alien program. Picard said, “Permission granted.”

  Wesley smiled and said, “Thank you, sir.”

  They rode without incident to deck eleven. Air temperature and gravity seemed normal. Inside holodeck three Picard and Wesley found the same four overstuffed chairs along with Baldwin, La Forge, and a godlike being dressed in a pirate outfit. The being was tall and bronze and handsome. He had the noble bearing of someone who knew he had nothing to prove. Picard approached the being and said, “Pilgrim?”

  “Yes.”

  “You look different.”

  “The Boogeymen are gone.”

  “Yes. We can send you back to your ship aboard the infowafer.”

  “We cannot leave. We have no pusher.”

  Picard turned to Baldwin. “Eric,” he said, “you asked me to erase your name from Federation records. I can’t do that. But I am not without sympathy for your situation. For this reason, I make you a counter-proposal. The d’Ort’d need a pusher—a crew member to accelerate their teardrop ship to warp speed. They cannot return home without one.”