by Jeff Kinney
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I told these guys I was out there to HELP
them. So Buddy told me he had a REALLY
important job, which was to hold up a wall they
had just framed.
And I DID feel pretty important for a while,
at least until I saw that the wall was holding
ITSELF up on its own.
Once I understood it was a prank, I figured
this is just the way builders joke around with one
another. So I picked up a hammer and asked
Buddy if I could nail some boards together or
something.
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Buddy told me that would be GREAT, but I was
holding a LEFT-handed hammer, and I needed
to go and find a RIGHT-handed one.
So I asked around the site, and it took me a
long time to realize THAT was a joke, too.
It hit me that since I was the youngest guy out
there, the other builders didn’t RESPECT me.
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I figured they wanted me to QUIT, but I
didn’t want to give them that SATISFACTION.
I decided I was gonna PROVE myself by
working hard, and move up the ranks. And maybe
within a week or two I’d have guys like Buddy
reporting to ME.
So I went around the construction site finding
things I could do to help out. I filled some
buckets with water for the builders who were
mixing concrete, and I moved a pile of gravel out
of the way when a lorry needed to get through.
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By the time we broke for lunch, I was feeling
pretty GOOD about myself. But I didn’t want
to kick back and relax, because then these guys
would think I was LAZY.
So when lunch was delivered, I went around the
site handing out everyone’s orders. And that made
me REALLY popular.
One guy named Luther was in the middle of mixing
a batch of concrete, so I had to wait before I
could hand him his meatball sub. And to be extra
helpful, I unwrapped it for him so he’d be able to
have it as soon as he was finished.
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But I wasn’t being CAREFUL, and the meatballs
slid out of the sub and into a bucket of wet concrete.
Luther didn’t look like the kind of guy who’d be
happy about a meatball sub with no MEATBALLS
in it. So I tossed the REST of the sub into the
bucket and backed away.
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And I’m glad I got out of there when I DID,
too. Because when Luther accused Buddy of
stealing his meatball sub, things got UGLY.
I snuck back to the house, then locked the door
behind me. And, when Dad asked me why I wasn’t
still out there WORKING, I told him I’d
RETIRED.
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Sunday
Things were really moving along with the extension
until our Neighbours started complaining.
Mr Larocca had an issue with the NOISE,
because he works the night shift at a hospital and
needs to sleep during the day.
So Mom’s been asking the builders to try and keep
it down, but that’s not easy to do when you’re
dealing with HAMMERS.
Our other next-door neighbour, Mrs Tuttle, isn’t
happy about the extension, EITHER.
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Apparently one of the builders rolled a wheelbarrow
on to her property and trampled on some of her
flowers, and now she wants us to REPLACE them.
And it’s not just our NEXT-DOOR neighbours,
either. Mrs Rutkowski lives diagonally across the
street, and I guess one of her cats got into our
yard and stepped on a nail. So she told Dad he
had to pay the VET’s bill.
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All this complaining is just slowing things
down and making the project take LONGER.
So the only person who’s actually making any
PROGRESS around here is MANNY.
He found a toy toolbox in the basement, and he
took some scrap wood out of the skip. I’m not
exactly sure what he’s building in the backyard,
but it looks pretty IMPRESSIVE.
The skip is definitely the best thing about this
project. Whenever the waste-paper basket in my
bedroom gets full, I just empty it into the skip,
which is right outside my window.
What’s even better than THAT is how easy it
is now when I have to put the trash out on
Sunday night. It’s my job to put trash stickers
on all the bags, then take everything down to
the kerb. And that’s a giant pain, especially
when it RAINS.
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But, with the skip, I don’t even have to deal
with the STICKERS. I can just chuck the bags
straight in.
Tonight I made a pretty stupid mistake, though.
I didn’t feel like taking each bag out of the
trash can, so I tried to empty it into the skip
all at once.
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Unfortunately I didn’t realize how HEAVY
the trash can was, and I couldn’t get it all the
way over the top of the skip. So the whole can
tipped backwards, and the trash emptied out of
the bags.
So now there was trash EVERYWHERE, and
I had to scoop it all back into the bags.
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To make matters WORSE, it was a windy night,
so the trash was blowing EVERYWHERE. And it
wasn’t a lot of fun trying to chase all that stuff
down in the dark.
I spent an hour picking trash out of Mr Larocca’s
bushes. But I should’ve remembered that he works
the night shift and leaves at that time.
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Monday
I got to bed super late yesterday, because I had
to try and convince Mr Larocca that I wasn’t
toilet-papering his bushes.
I REALLY wish I had got a good night’s sleep,
though, because we had a big test at school this
morning, and I don’t think I did my best.
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This was one of those tests the whole SCHOOL
has to take. The teachers have been trying to get
us ready for WEEKS, because apparently the
results really MATTER.
I guess our school did really badly on this test
LAST year, and if that happens AGAIN there
are gonna be budget cuts. And that means some
teachers could lose their JOBS.
On top of that, they might have to cut some
subjects, like Art and Music. I wish KIDS had
a say in what to cut, because if I was the one
making the calls Phys Ed would’ve been on the
chopping block a long TIME ago.
The teachers have been really stressed out about
this test, and the last few weeks haven’t been a
lot of FUN.
All this pressure has been getting us KIDS
stressed out, too, so last week the school brought
a Stress Puppy into the library to help everyone
relax. But kids got too grabby with the puppy,
and then the puppy got all stressed out.
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The puppy started running round in circles and
peeing all o
ver the place. So the school took it
away and replaced it with a Stress Lizard, and
nobody wanted to TOUCH that thing.
Speaking of stress, I really wasn’t looking
forward to going home this afternoon, because
I knew they were gonna cut a hole in the wall
to connect it to the extension.
I was worried they might accidentally have to
cut through the PLUMBING, and I didn’t
wanna be around when THAT happened.
Rodrick thought they were gonna use a
WRECKING BALL to smash through the wall,
and his whole plan was to make a music video with
his band when they DID.
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So Rodrick and his bandmates were pretty
disappointed when they got there and the builders
had already opened the wall with a power saw.
I didn’t see any sign of the Grout, so THAT was
a relief. But what the builders found inside the
walls was just as BAD.
The wood underneath the cladding was ROTTEN,
because of a leak caused by the clogged gutters.
And apparently there was toxic mould in the walls,
so we’ve been living with THAT all this time, too.
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Plus, there were rodents’ nests in the walls, which
means we’ve been sharing our house with a colony
of MICE.
It really creeps me out to think there’s this
whole WORLD living inside our walls without us
even knowing. And that’s why I’ve decided when
I build my first house it’s gonna be 100% GLASS.
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Friday
Ever since they opened up that wall, we’ve been
finding mouse droppings on our kitchen counters.
So that means the mice are living out in the
OPEN now.
Mom says we can’t leave any food lying around,
because then the mice will get up on the surfaces
where we EAT. So we’ve been trying to keep
everything really CLEAN, and I’ve been
putting our snacks in places where the mice can’t
get them.
Dad’s been looking up ways to get rid of mice that
won’t HURT them. But Rodrick has his OWN
ideas for what to do. He wants to buy a SNAKE
and let nature take its course.
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When Mom asked Rodrick what we’d do once the
snake had eaten the MICE, he said we’d buy a
MONGOOSE to catch the snake. So remind me
not to visit RODRICK’S house when I’m older.
The mice aren’t our ONLY problem, though. We’ve
got WASPS in the house now, too. Mom found
one crawling on the mantel above the fireplace last
night, and there was another one flying around
the kitchen this morning during BREAKFAST.
We can’t figure out how they’re getting INSIDE,
because we’ve been keeping the windows shut and
we don’t open the front door unless we HAVE to.
Mom thinks they might be coming in from
underneath the tarp that’s covering the side of
the house, so she sent Dad out there tonight to
make sure there aren’t any gaps where they’re
getting through.
But Dad wasn’t happy about it, because there was
a THUNDERSTORM.
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I would’ve HELPED him, but I was afraid of
being struck by LIGHTNING. At school, Albert
Sandy told us about this kid who got hit by
lightning while he was out in a canoe, and now he’s
SUPERCHARGED with electricity.
Well, everyone at my lunch table thought that
