BELONGING: Hope, Truth And Malice (Beauty 0f Life Book 3)

by Laura Acton

  Jon, Bram, and Nick shared a cheerless look. They knew all too well about invisible scars—they each had their own. Ray, Lexa, and Loki were right.

  Nick said, “We’re family. We’re stronger together. Whatever Dan needs we will be there for him.”

  Loki grinned and tried to lighten things up. The mood in the room was so thick it was like they were planning Dan’s eulogy and Dantastic was very much alive. “All for one and one for all. We’re the seven musketeers. Dan gets to be D'Artagnan because he’s young, foolhardy, brave, and clever. Can you imagine Dantastic as a gallant musketeer and in a sword fight?”

  They all chuckled, leave it to Loki to break the heavy tension.

  Lexa brightened up as she conjured up an image of Dan as a swashbuckler wielding a sword to heroically defend a damsel in distress. Interestingly, the damsel looked a lot like her. Lexa shook the image from her head and sighed. Dan sure seeped into her mind and made her think things that were so out of character—she was no damsel in distress and could fight her own battles. But her smile increased as she thought, Yeah, Dan would look dashing doing that.

  Jon smirked. “I think Dano would miss his Remi.”

  Bram chuckled. “Nah. You know, Allie already calls him Prince Charming.”

  Ray grinned. “He’d certainly have all the ladies swooning for him. I mean that nurse last night changed his name to Dantastic on the board.”

  “I know, right? I knew Dantastic was a better name than Blondie,” Loki said with enthusiasm.

  Brett Santelli, the sniper for Echo Team, strode into the locker room and came to a stop near the team. “Hoped I’d find you in here. There’s two guys in fatigues and that medic who rappelled with you yesterday at the desk. They’re looking for you. The Captain said he was told to be here at six o’clock. By the way, how’s Dan?”

  Checking his watch, Nick noted that it was only five fifteen and he wondered why Blaze, Winds, and Patch were here so early. They’d planned to meet at eight this morning.

  Nick stood up and said, “Coming. As for Dan, he should be okay. He’s a bit beat up, but thankfully nothing life threatening.” Nick shared only the basics because he didn’t want to disclose the full details—it wasn’t anyone’s business—especially that part where Dan was in unspeakable pain for two hours and no one knew. “The doctor kept him overnight for observation. We’re hoping to get an update soon.”

  “Glad to hear that. He was all the news could talk about last night,” Brett chortled. “Bet he’s gonna love that. Get all those ladies swooning over him? My sister had a few friends over last night and all they could talk about was Dan and how sweet it was when he kissed that little girl. They all fought over who would be the best girlfriend for him.”

  Everyone except Lexa chuckled as they thought Dan would probably get a kick out of that.

  Instead of laughing, Lexa tensed up—for some reason that comment made her angry. She didn’t understand why. So Lexa forced herself to smile as she stood. “I’ll come with you.”

  The others rose also and the team moved as one to go meet with Dan’s Special Forces buddies.

  TRF HQ - Dispatch Desk – 5:18 a.m.

  Blaze was the first to see Blondie’s new team exit the locker room and he addressed his comments to Nick. “Sergeant Pastore, good to see you looking a bit rested this morning.” Then Blaze extended his hand to shake Nick’s as he said, “Is Commander Gambrill here yet? I was ordered to be here at zero six hundred for a briefing on the new situation.”

  To Nick, Blaze sounded really tired and exuded a high level of concern. The Captain carried his body stiffly and formally—different from last night’s ease. He’d also asked directly for the Commander and clearly just said ‘briefing on the new situation’. Something was up, Nick was worried. He’d bet it had to do with Dan—the question was, what was the new situation?

  Nick responded, “Commander Gambrill is in the briefing room. How about all of you go grab a cup of our wonderful coffee then meet me in the briefing room? I’ll let Gambrill know we are all here and ready. Hey Jon, would you grab one for me and the Commander while you’re at it?”

  Jon nodded as they headed to the break-room. He knew why they were sent to get coffee. Nick wanted to have an opportunity to wake Gambrill first.

  Outside TRF HQ – 5:30 a.m.

  Dan was gathering up the courage to face his teammates—unsure of the reception that he would receive. Would he be accepted or reviled? Would they condemn him as a failure and murderer for Aaron’s death?

  He had worked really hard with Brody guiding him to rebuild his safe place, the thick-walled structure that held everything that hurt. He was still so very confused and needed to sort his emotions and conflicting thoughts. But he had been ordered to debrief if he left the hospital which meant facing them.

  So even though it terrified him, Dan would face them. He wouldn’t run away, he was no coward. He had promised Brody that he would be strong, so Dan would shoulder the blame for all the blood on their hands.

  If the team hated him, he would walk away. He would find somewhere else to belong because he’d promised Brody to heal, to live, to laugh, and to smile. Dan knew that if he was rejected again, it would hurt—hurt really bad—but somehow, someday he would find the beauty of life. He just desperately hoped it could be here.

  His hand on the door, Dan reminded himself, breathe, just breathe …

  TRF HQ - Briefing Room – 5:30 a.m.

  Commander Gambrill and Nick were standing next to the windows looking out as the team plus Dan’s army buddies entered. Alpha Team dispersed around the table and took their normal seats. Winds and Patch took seats at the back of the room at the end of the table while Blaze stood behind them.

  Blaze was utterly exhausted, running on an hour’s restless sleep—but he was also on edge—it was why he had arrived earlier than ordered. His gut was screaming at him that Blondie needed him—needed them. The questions in his head were numerous and he didn’t like the fact he was not covering Blondie already. He wasn’t gonna fail the kid again.

  Patch leaned over to Loki and grimaced. “Your wonderful coffee tastes like it was made of boiled boots. Worse than any field coffee I’ve ever had.”

  “That’s why we usually take turns on Timmy runs. It was Ray’s and my turn yesterday. Dan and Lexa were up for today. Things changed so we gotta make do,” Loki shared as he took a sip and grimaced also. Boiled boots, he thought, Yep, that would be pretty descriptive.

  Walter cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. This wasn’t going to be easy—time to get it over with. He took a deep breath and exhaled. That, combined with a look of someone made to chew on glass shards, made everyone tense even before Walter began speaking. “I want to start off by saying Dan is resting securely again.”

  They all registered the ‘again’ word but held their tongues.

  Gambrill then proceeded to slowly explain every wretched detail of what had happened to Dan after they had left the hospital. The looks of fury and worry were in line with what Walter expected, but he had also expected the room to roar. The dead silence disconcerted him.

  Jon, Nick, and Blaze shared looks that all leaders would understand. The guilt—the feeling they’d failed someone under their charge—was etched deeply into their faces.

  Bram and Winds looked directly at each other. Warriors of different styles, but both fiercely trying to find the right words to describe the brutal emotions they were feeling—and both coming up blank.

  Ray was dumbstruck. He liked being ‘less-lethal Ray’. But oh, what he wouldn’t give to go back to that waiting room and kill Donner before he had the opportunity to attack Dan in that manner.

  Patch’s and Loki’s faces were revolving so quickly through so many emotions—outrage, disbelief, sadness, worry—it was hard to pinpoint one.

  Lexa’s expression was hard, razor-sharp fury. Ferocity rolled off her in waves and threatened to engulf everyone in the room, but her target was the Commande
r. If looks could actually cut, Gambrill would be sliced open to the core and bleeding out.

  TRF HQ – Outside Briefing Room – 5:50 a.m.

  Dan had opened the door, entered the building, and slowly, ever so slowly climbed the four flights of stairs to the TRF headquarters floor. It took him ages to make it up the stairs. Dan could only take one or two at a time then he had to stop to rest.

  He knew that taking the stairs rather than the elevator was more a tactic to delay the pending debrief than his usual habit of avoiding small, metal boxes that he could get trapped in that brought to mind thoughts of ‘there’ and the Humvee incident. Panic rose in him the closer Dan got to the fourth floor. He was sweating and shaking when he reached the door. Fear of the team rejecting was hard to combat and he strove mightily to gain control over his anxiety.

  Soaked with sweat, Dan opened the stairwell door on the fourth floor, stepped out, and the door closed automatically behind him. The loud click of it closing spiked his fear again—it was like a nail being driven into his chest. Breathing became difficult as Dan tried to tamp down on the panic—but his fear got the better of him and Dan started to turn back to the stairs. Crap! I can’t do this! I can’t.

  His body shook and Dan clenched his right fist midway in his turn. Dan felt the pain of his swollen knuckles and released his fist as he whispered, “Brody, help me. I’m afraid they’ll reject me. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

  Dan heard Brody whisper, “Small steps. Everything will be okay. I’m here for you. You are never alone. One foot in front of the other, brother.”

  He turned in the direction of the briefing room again. His head bowed, Dan looked at his sock clad feet. When he awoke in the hospital he was glad to be dressed in sweats and a shirt instead of a hospital gown. These comfortable socks weren’t his and they weren’t the normal hospital booties—Dan wondered where they’d come from.

  Dan tried to put on his boots, but it was impossible. He couldn’t pick them up or bend over and there was no way in hell he could tie them. The officer had offered to put them on, but that was too embarrassing. So he simply left his boots at the hospital and walked out in the socks. Nice socks, gonna have to get some of these.

  His mind recognized he was delaying again and refocused on Brody’s words. Brody had encouraged him many times to take small steps when he was overwhelmed and needed to conquer his fears. Small steps, he could do small steps. Watching his feet, Dan hesitantly took a small step forward as a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. Then he took another small step and continued to watch his feet as he took small steps until he reached the dispatch desk area.

  Dan looked up to find the dispatch desk empty. Tia must be in the copy room, he thought. Dan noticed the briefing room windows were opaque, but the door was open. He started forward, one small step at a time, and stopped several feet outside the briefing room. No one heard him approach because his steps were quieted by the socks.

  He saw his team and the Commander. It was so silent, but they were all glaring at Gambrill. Dan wondered what was going on. It was reminiscent of his first day—minus the yelling. That day, the team had clearly and loudly let him know he wasn’t wanted.

  Would it be the same today? Would they forsake him? Would he be alone again? Dan stood stock still and focused on Lexa. He could see the fire in her eyes, but his presence continued to go unnoticed by the aggravated occupants of the briefing room.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  July 16

  TRF HQ – Briefing Room – 5:55 a.m.

  Lexa held her tongue for as long as she could, but she couldn’t contain her fury and exploded. She stood and slammed her fists on the table as the golden flecks in her hazel eyes lit like a raging inferno and she laser focused her attention on Commander Gambrill.

  “What the hell were you thinking to put him at such risk in his condition? He was bait and couldn’t defend himself. You let that sick, twisted, son of a bitch hurt Dan badly—you let Donner stab a knife into his heart and soul. That bastard almost killed him.”

  Lexa’s rage continued, “You should’ve told us, we would’ve protected him. We promised to keep him safe. He’s family. We protect family! Yesterday Dan risked himself to save so many. He took a horrible burden on his soul to save others.”

  Gesturing to her teammates, Lexa yelled, “We know the pain that comes with taking a life. Dan willingly accepted that pain to save others five times yesterday. He saved Nick. He saved two wounded souls. He saved a little girl. He saved Frank and me and he nearly died trying to save Aaron.”

  Tears of fury streamed down her face. “We need him—he’s family—we trust him. It was a trust hard fought for and only won yesterday morning. If we lose him, it’ll be on your hands. We better not lose him—he’s family—Dan belongs here!”

  All her fury and energy spent, Lexa dropped into her chair and mournfully said, “I promised to keep him safe. I need him to be safe.” Lexa put her hands over her face as tears welled in her eyes.

  TRF HQ – Outside Briefing Room – 5:58 a.m.

  Dan heard the raw unvarnished truth in the fury of Lexa’s words. His mind translated the meaning—acceptance, family, hope, trust, redemption, solace, and most importantly … belonging.

  His heart and soul were gently immersed and soothed by her words.

  Into the deafening silence, Dan spoke quietly and calmly, “I’m good. Nowhere in the world I’d rather be.”

  He saw his team’s heads whip towards him—all with shocked expressions. A beautiful smile grew on Dan’s face and a light shone strong and bright in his clear sapphire blue eyes.

  A feeling of being cocooned in warmth and safety enveloped him as his body reached its physical limitations. He was safe here—he belonged. Dan slowly collapsed to the floor—the smile not leaving his face even as his eyes fluttered closed.

  Ten people rushed forward as Dan crumbled to the floor.

  Lexa was the first to reach him, followed closely by Patch and Loki. The three were on their knees. Patch checked his pulse. Loki grabbed a hold of his hand and squeezed it hard as he stared at Dan and silently begged for his eyes to open.

  Cradling Dan’s head in her lap, Lexa stroked his hair softly as she whispered, “Beautiful smile. Intriguing eyes. Rest now, you’re safe.” Lexa didn’t give a damn that she was stroking his hair in front of the guys yet again. She was just so happy to have seen that light in Dan’s eyes and the smile on his face again. She agreed wholeheartedly—Nowhere in the world I’d rather be.

  Everyone else circled around and looked expectantly between Dan and Patch—waiting—Dan had to be alright, he just had to.

  Patch breathed a deep sigh of relief, “Blondie’s sleeping. He took his body to the end of his endurance. He’ll be okay. Blondie just needs to sleep, to rest.” Patch sat back on his heels and smiled up at Blaze and Winds. Their shared looks communicated ‘he belongs—he found a new place to be’.

  Blaze felt a profound relief. Blondie’s eyes were not blank like Patch had described to him as they ate last night. Whatever emotional turmoil was rolling in his head had been sorted out if Blondie could smile like that. It soothed him to see that light in the kid’s eyes. Blaze had feared he’d never see that again.

  A collective sigh of relief was emitted from more than just the unit and Alpha Team at Patch’s words. They were so focused on Dan that they hadn’t noticed they’d drawn the attention of the others in headquarters. The loud sigh was the first indicator, but Nick was the first to really notice that around them, standing stock still, were all the members of Bravo, Charlie, and Echo teams plus Frank and Tia.

  They had all heard Lexa’s outburst. Who couldn’t? It was probably heard a mile away. They’d seen Dan standing in the door listening. Dan’s simple words followed by his collapse and Alpha Team’s reactions astounded them. But each and every one of them were relieved by the paramedic’s report.

  As they watched, several thought they had just glimpsed part of the reaso
n Alpha Team was the best of the best. Many conversations had taken place over the years in other teams wondering how Alpha Team’s evaluation score always bested that of all the other teams. Today they had witnessed first-hand that these seven people were more than just a team.

  Colton Harmon smiled as he thought, Good, they’re whole and they’re a family. It was time to give Alpha Team privacy so he turned to the other teams. “Alright everyone, let’s move. You’ve got jobs to do,” Colton said, clapped his hands and then made a shooing motion to get the rest of the teams going.

  He nodded to Nick, his former Sergeant, then turned to join his team at the gun range. Colton sometimes missed being on Alpha Team, but really enjoyed being a Sergeant of his own team for the past five years and his move to Charlie Team Sergeant had opened up the tactical lead spot on Alpha Team. Jon made a great tactical lead—it had been the right move to make.

  In the past five years, Colton had tried to build that family sense with Charlie Team, but hadn’t achieved it yet. It was a rare thing—very rare—and it took a unique set of people to achieve it. His last thought as he turned the corner to head to the gun range was, Welcome to the family, Dan. Welcome brother.

  The remaining group continued to stare at Dan. Finally, Jon shook out of his stupor and said to no one in particular, “Gotta find him a good place to sleep—the floor outside the briefing room is an unacceptable nap location.”

  Laughter—pure, deep, and cleansing—burst from all.

  “Man, he looks terrible. His face looks like some kid spilled their paints on him,” Ray snorted out as he was gaining control of his laughter.

  “Either gonna repel the ladies with his ugliness now or garner their sympathy. Who wants to bet it will be sympathy?” said Winds.

  “I’m with you on sympathy especially after those news reports yesterday and the reactions of Brett’s sister and her friends,” Bram added.