BELONGING: Hope, Truth And Malice (Beauty 0f Life Book 3)

by Laura Acton

  “What did he say? My God, I didn’t know the driver talked to Dan. I arrived with William after they had the man in custody and in the back of a patrol car. What did he say to him?” Gambrill queried his interest peaked, but wary.

  Dan could discern the guarded interest in his godfather’s voice. But he was hot, so hot now, that Dan’s mind felt so muddled. If he was so hot, why was he starting to shiver? What the hell? Oh yeah, fevers did that, his body’s natural defense was kicking in. Dan continued to feel the miserable mix of hot and cold.

  Sensing a movement next to him, Dan tensed slightly. He heard a swishing sound followed by water dripping. Ahh, that felt good, Dan thought, as someone placed a cool cloth to his forehead. A barely perceptible sigh escaped as the person took another cloth and wiped it across his face and neck.

  “Blondie? Blondie, you’re awake,” a voice said close to his ear. “Come on buddy, I know the difference between you’re actually out or just in stealth mode. Open your eyes now. There are a couple of guys that really want to see you again. Open,” Patch encouraged lightly.

  The others in the room had looked to Dan when Patch had started to speak. So when Dan finally got his eyes to obey, there were eleven sets of eyes staring at him. He quickly registered his team, Gambrill, an unknown. He blinked several times because he couldn’t believe that Blaze, Winds, and Patch were all there. Crap, the fever must be so high that he was imagining all of them.

  “Hey kid, you scared us really bad,” his mirage of Blaze said. It rose and walked towards him. It gathered him in a gentle hug and said, “I’m so sorry we lost you. Won’t happen again. I won’t hurt you again. I’m sorry you thought we blamed you. It wasn’t your fault—it was mine. I gave you the all clear. If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

  The heat of his face cooled as he felt tears drop on it from Blaze’s eyes. Blaze held him, really held him. This wasn’t a hallucination—or was it? Did he want them to accept him so badly that he’d conjured them up?

  Hot tears welled in Dan’s eyes as Winds moved forward and took his hand. “I’m holding tight Blondie, not letting go. I’m sorry I hurt you so badly. I just couldn’t find the words to ease your pain. I couldn’t bear to witness the pain in my brother’s eyes,” Winds choked out as he stared intently at Dan.

  He had to be hallucinating, right? “Hot, cold, hallucinating?” Dan rasped out in a dry voice.

  Reaching for a water bottle and opening it Patch responded, “Hot plus cold, yes, you have a high fever. Hallucinating? No, we’re really here, Blondie. Drink.” Patch lifted the bottle and put it up to Blondie’s lips.

  The cool liquid felt good as it touched his lips and slid down the back of his throat. It was as if the water and the words quenched a long aching thirst. He sighed as he focused on each of his brothers. Each one held his eyes, didn’t look away, and smiled at him.

  Did they really not blame him? Part of him couldn’t fathom that because he still blamed himself, still carried the guilt, and probably always would. But Brody had been there for him last night. He wasn’t sure how, but it had felt so real it had to be him in some form. If Brody could forgive him and be there for him, maybe, just maybe, they could, too.

  Blaze asked, “You doing okay, Blondie?”

  Dan smiled weakly, still so very tired, “Missed you. Mmm okay. Hungry,” and as if on cue his stomach growled loudly. Tension broke and light laughter filled the room.

  Blaze pulled Blondie into a gentle and careful hug again. “Missed you too. Been looking for you a long time. I’m so happy we found you.” Blaze tried to recompose himself as he hugged Blondie. He felt a bit embarrassed crying in front of the others. But real men cried—he’d told that to Blondie years ago and he held that belief still.

  Winds wiped his eyes and turned to the window. He was feeling overwhelmed with emotions. They’d found Blondie alive—he’d worried for so long that he wouldn’t survive Brody’s death. He’d just said okay. Blondie was okay, not fine. His world was righting itself—the kid was okay. Winds vowed to protect him with his life from whatever this new threat was. He wasn’t gonna lose him ever again. He’d never fail his little brother again.

  Davis had watched Dan’s eyes during the entire exchange thinking that this guy was multifaceted and very intriguing. The range of emotion that was communicated in his eyes was astonishing. They had rapidly gone from confusion, to profound grief, to hope, to guilt, to forgiveness, to questioning, and finally landing on acceptance with a sense of peace. Fascinating!

  When Donner’s note said that the boy’s eyes had pierced his soul, Davis had wondered what the man really meant. He now understood. Then Broderick said he was hungry and his stomach communicated, too. Davis sat back with a slight smile on his face.

  Seeing Dan’s old unit trying to gain control of their emotions, Nick said, “Let’s take a break. It’s close enough to lunchtime now. We’ll get some sandwiches or something brought in.” He smiled then, glad to see Dan awake and the affection that Dan’s old unit displayed for him. It was really nice to see.

  Everyone agreed. Jon went to talk to Tia to see if she could order in food for them. She was happy to hear Dan was awake and readily agreed to get something delivered. She decided to call Jarmal, she was sure he’d send over a lunch that Dan would enjoy eating.

  Loki skipped from the room pulling his wallet out on the way. He stopped at the vending machine and selected a snack for Dan then went to the breakroom fridge to grab the iced capp they had gotten earlier.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  July 16

  TRF HQ – Briefing Room – 11:25 a.m.

  Loki bounded back to the briefing room and with a huge smile and enthusiastically said, “Here, Dantastic, got you something to hold ya over until the real food arrives.”

  Patch adjusted the gurney so Blondie was in a reclining position.

  “Thanks. Ya know what I need,” Dan said softly and gazed longingly at the iced capp, looking forward to the taste and the caffeine boost it would offer. He was so tired he would need it to remain awake for any length of time.

  Loki wondered why Dan didn’t reach for the drink. But then had a ‘no duh’ moment as he recalled that Dan’s left wrist was badly sprained and his right bicep had a bullet burn through it. He held onto the drink and positioned it close to Dan so he could take a sip from the straw.

  Dan took a long drink but grimaced. He swallowed and looked at the offending drink. “Whoa, not right, not right.”

  Patch snickered. “Sorry, little brother, its decaf. Know you hate it, but you can’t have the caffeine yet. So put up and shut up or I’ll make sure you only get green jello and broth for lunch,” Patch said as he threatened to take away the snack that was sitting in Blondie’s lap.

  Dan pinned him with a ‘damn you’ stare but said, “Mmm tastes good.” He tried not to gag and only slightly shuddered as he took another drink. Loki and Patch chuckled, which earned them both a ‘damn you’ stare.

  Patch opened the granola bar and held it up to Dan’s lips. Dan took a bite and chewed slowly—his jaw ached. When Patch lifted the bar again, Dan shook his head. “Good, but too hard,” he confessed to Patch.

  “Lunch should have something softer and easier to chew. Maybe green jello and broth really would be better right now,” Patch replied.

  Loki glanced at the bar and then back at Dan’s bruised jaw. Darn he wasn’t thinking when he got Dan a granola bar. His jaw probably hurt a lot. He handed the iced capp to Patch and said, “I’ll go see what Tia ordered and make sure there’s something soft.”

  After Loki left, Dan said quietly to Patch, “Don’t want to be rude to Loki, he was thoughtful, but I can’t drink any more of that decaf iced capp—would rather drink bilge water.”

  Patch chuckled. “How about some regular water instead.”

  Dan nodded and Patch lifted the water bottle to his lips and Dan took a long drink.

  Nick watched Patch help Dan drink nearly a whole bottle of water. As Dan’s
Sergeant, it fell to him to bring Dan up to date on everything. He walked up to Dan and then said to those still in the room, “I need to speak with Dan alone for a few minutes. Would you all please leave the room for a bit?”

  Blaze shook his head. “Can’t do that. Blondie’s under my protection. He can’t be out of my sight.”

  “How about a compromise? You and Winds can take up positions just outside the doors. There’s the main one and the one that leads into conference room two.” He pointed to the smaller door by the window.

  Nodding in understanding of the need to control information, Blaze directed Winds to the small door while he took up position at the main door. Everyone else complied and soon the room only contained Nick and Dan.

  When they were gone, Nick pulled up a chair close to Dan and sat. He rubbed his hand over his head and across his eyes as he often did when gathering thoughts. Then Nick took a moment to assess Dan’s current state. He wasn’t happy with how he looked. Dan needed rest, not more turmoil, and certainly no more painful events.

  Dan wasn’t sure why the Boss cleared the room and watched closely as Nick sat down. There was concern in his eyes. Dan could see the Boss was trying to judge his state so he offered, “I’m okay, beat up and colorful, a little feverish, but really, I’m okay. Yesterday was a bitch of a day. Won’t lie—many highs and lows—felt like I was swinging on a damned pendulum. I still need to process a few things. But I’ve had worse days. I’m okay. Whatever it is you have to say, just spit it out. I can take it.”

  “Oh, no doubt you could take it. Evidenced by the fact you’re sitting here. Whether I want to cause you more hurt is quite another thing,” Nick returned.

  Dan just calmly looked at him and waited.

  “First, how long were you awake? What did you hear?” Nick asked.

  “Lexa was speaking, but only caught the last word or two. Thought I heard someone say ‘the General’ then I definitely heard someone say ‘no fucking way’. Heard the rest after that. Whose suicide were you discussing? Pieces don’t fit for it to be Donner’s. And why are Blaze, Winds, and Patch here? Why am I under Blaze’s protection?” Dan responded.

  Nick liked how Dan was quick to assess. “Actually, it was Donner’s suicide, just a different Donner,” Nick said getting a quizzical look from Dan. “But this is related to what happened last night. I’m sorry that happened to you. If we’d known anything about it, we would’ve been there for you. The man wouldn’t have gotten within one hundred yards of you.” Nick’s look communicated the truth of his statement.

  He then proceeded to fill Dan in on everything that had transpired from the point that the team heard the second shot. Quite some time later, Nick concluded, “So that’s why your buddies are here and we are currently meeting with Inspector Davis.”

  Dan was stunned. More to process, but for a change some of it was very nice. His unit brothers and Alpha Team family had gone above and beyond for him. They were there for him, damn that felt good.

  “So, is this something you want to hear? Or would you rather sit out and we can let you know if it has anything to do with the ‘new situation’ that has put Blaze and Winds on protection detail?” asked Nick.

  Dan thought hard about it. Sara’s death was hard. He never knew before now that the driver killed himself, or until last night that the NRB Agent was his son. Richard must have hated him very much, but why him? He was just a kid at the time.

  What Donner had done in the interviews made some weird twisted sense now. Dick had wanted to inflict pain and mental anguish—and he had. Dan understood the possible motivation, but that didn’t make it easier to accept what the bastard had done to him. Dan knew he’d have to work on forgiving or at least tucking it away.

  Perhaps understanding the father’s mind through his suicide note would help him do that. “I think I need to hear it. Won’t be easy, but it might help me understand why Donner did that to me.” Dan then hung his head down as Donner’s words rang in his head and the weight of Aaron’s death hit him again.

  Nick placed his hand under Dan’s chin, gripped very gently, and tilted his head up so they were looking eye to eye. Nick firmly stated, “Okay, but you need to promise me that if it gets to be too much, you let me know and we’ll stop. We’re here for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

  “Promise,” Dan said softly.

  Nick wasn’t sure if Dan’s response was an answer or a question. Did Dan just promise to let him know if it got to be too much or ask if Nick promised that he didn’t have to do it alone? Nick softly answered, “Promise.” Nick saw the small smile and realized it was probably a bit of both.

  He stood and went to the door to let everyone know that they could come back in. Nick still felt that this might be too much for Dan so soon after yesterday, but he would abide by Dan’s wishes. When he exited the briefing room, Nick saw that the food had arrived.

  Ottawa – National Defense HQ – Naval Intelligence – 12:10 p.m.

  Marquise had been eating his lunch at his desk and set his sandwich down as he listened to his brother. He couldn’t believe what his brother just shared with him. “Hang on Jarmal, I know someone that needs to hear this.” He got up and quickly strode to Lieutenant Broderick’s office and knocked.

  Scott called out, “Enter.”

  Entering the office, Marquise looked at Scott and stated, “Sir, you should hear this. It’s about your cousin.” He closed the door and strode over to the desk then put his phone on speaker. “Okay, Jarmal, repeat what you just told me about Dan.”

  As he listened, Scott’s stomach dropped. Dan had been hurt. He needed to call his dad and let him know about this and that they needed to move up the Broderick intervention to as fast as they could get there. Dan would need his family now more than ever.

  When Jarmal was finished, Scott said, “Thanks for letting me know.” As Marquise left his office, Scott dialed his dad, hoping he could get a hold of him right now. If not, he’d call Uncle Mark or Uncle Ryan to set things in motion.

  TRF HQ – Briefing Room – 12:15 p.m.

  Everyone reentered the briefing room carrying bags of food that Jarmal brought over. They all gathered around the table to eat. Bram, Patch, and Blaze helped move Dan from gurney to chair so that he could join them.

  While Nick had talked to Dan, the guys had decided that they would keep the lunch conversation light and fun. Jon started the conversation telling them about how his son Joey decided that he was a superhero and refused to take a bath because he believed it would wash away his powers.

  Winds grinned when Jon was done and switched topics as he said, “It was nice to see Jarmal. Blondie, did you know he was here?”

  Dan nodded, “Yeah, I’ve have eaten at his place a lot.”

  Patch grinned looking at the soft cookies that were included. “I’ll be visiting his place now that I know he’s here. He did amazing things for us when he was Kandahar. Glad he followed his dream to open a restaurant.”

  Blaze nodded, but changed the subject knowing that would bring up bad memories for Blondie. He brought up hockey and a debate over which team was the best ensued.

  Dan sat quietly at the table, listening. The move from gurney to table, even such a short distance, had sapped him of what little strength he had. He was hungry, but it was difficult to eat. His left hand was useless, his right arm hurt to move, and his jaw ached too much to chew. On top of that he was feverish and he never felt much like eating when he was feeling the miserable hot-cold mixture. So he just slowly picked at his food, mostly eating the soft oatmeal raisin walnut cookies that Jarmal had included along with other items.

  Lexa noticed that Dan wasn’t eating and the winces as he moved his arms and chewed. He was also running a fever and she knew she never felt like eating when she had a fever, maybe Dan felt the same way. But he had said he was hungry—so had his stomach. She figured it was the combination of pain, fatigue, and fever preventing him from digging in like he normally would.

&n
bsp; She wondered how he would react if she tried to help him eat. From all she knew of him, he didn’t like looking weak. Dan probably wouldn’t appreciate any overt help. So Lexa inconspicuously put aside a selection of soft foods for him to snack on later if he was hungry.

  Lunch was slow and long, no one seemed to want to rush it—not even Inspector Davis. Everyone stole quick glances at Dan and noticed how slowly he was eating and wanted to prolong lunch so he could satisfy his hunger in an unhurried fashion.

  Dan looked at Patch who was sitting next to him. He hated to ask, this part always bothered him, but he needed help. He leaned a little closer to Patch and whispered, “Patch, I need to go.”

  Patch nodded and quietly asked, “Can you walk?”

  Dan looked down at his lap, then was honest as he softly whispered, “Exhausted, would probably face plant on my own.”

  “I got ya,” Patch said as he stood. He looked to Bram and an image of Mason entered his head. With the way Bram had talked about his little girls, and the fact that Blondie had stayed with him several times, he got the impression that Bram was a caretaker like Mason had been. He asked, “Bram, can I get a hand?”

  Bram looked up and saw Patch starting to get the IV off the pole they’d rigged. He stood and headed over. “Sure, what you need?”

  “Just need to take a little trip. Can you spot Blondie? I won’t allow him to walk alone in his condition even though he could do it himself.”

  Dan looked at Patch, he appreciated the way he said that—it didn’t make him appear weak in front of the others.

  Bram pulled out the chair and Dan slowly stood, every muscle aching and protesting movement. Bram was right beside him. He could see the effort it took Dan to move. Damn, he was in a lot of pain. Bram considered how he could get Dan to the bathroom without pain and without embarrassing him.