by Quil Carter
I took my gun out, and shot at the shadows. They twisted and twirled into themselves, becoming giant winged creatures. I fell backwards and shot at the sky, before erupting into laughter. I only got up when the clip was gone, and started in whatever direction I pleased. Chasing shadows, chasing sunbursts.
I walked and I chased. I climbed and I crawled, I even flew. I chased humans, animals, Perish and Killian, but I chased the shadows most of all. Strings pulled my eyes in every direction, sunshine illuminating the fog motes, showering down on me like slow moving rain.
They floated down and gathered around the single shadow walking down the street.
It walked like me, and I walked towards it. My mind told me to shoot it, but I decided I wanted to see its face. The sunbursts wouldn’t pull my vision, the strings would keep me staring forward.
The shadow in the fog walked towards me, its heartbeat soft and light. I stopped in my tracks and listened, staring forward. Listening… his breathing was shallow, his smell was of soap, he whispered. No, he was talking.
“Reaver, baby?”
In a snap the fog cleared from my mind. My eyes jerked back to reality and I realized that I had only made it about a block from Perish’s door. My mind had gone everywhere in Donnely, for hours I had been shooting shadows, running, jumping… but in reality I had barely moved.
His blond face had gouges in the cheeks. I murmured and wanted to touch them.
“Reaver? Are you okay?”
I stepped back and stared at him. We were in the middle of the street, cars on either side of us. It was cold in the crisp, fogless air.
The boy had gouges on his cheek? His lab coat was buttoned, he was carrying bags. He was looking at me with dead eyes, tired and brushed with red.
I turned and started walking back to the lab. It was time to kill Perish.
“Reaver, you can’t get back in.”
You can’t get back in.
You can’t get back in.
A blind rage fell over me with such ferocity I thought I was going to put my hands on him. “You weak piece of shit!” I shouted at him. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away. My chest rose and fell as anger flooded through my entire body. “Go back and be with him. Go back and be with him, go comfort him. He kept us prisoner, Killian! He tried to fucking rape you, and you let him live because of what? He fed you nice food and taught you all that neat science shit?”
Killian didn’t even look at me, he just took it. His eyes were void of anything. The bags were still hanging off of his shoulder. This made me even more mad.
“You’re weak, just like you said. I knew you wouldn’t let me kill him, I knew you wouldn’t. I fucking knew it!” I screamed. My legs were buckling under my emotions but the anger was bursting like a dam. “You fucking COWARD! BETRAYER!”
In my anger I grabbed him by his lab coat. I yanked him towards me and as I did, the buttons ripped. The lab coat broke open and he dropped onto the ground, his bags spilling.
I clenched my fists and opened my mouth to yell more when I stopped.
Underneath his lab coat was another lab coat; this one was completely soaked in blood.
Killian didn’t get up, he kneeled there, staring forward. Blood was soaking his entire chest and neck. I looked closer.
It was smeared across his face.
“Killian?” I whispered. I couldn’t breathe, all I could think of was that Perish had shot him, Perish had stabbed him, Perish had hurt him. All my feelings towards Killian flooded back. He was hurt, he was badly hurt.
What had I done?
“Killian?” My voice choked. I felt a burning behind my eyes.
Killian turned his head to the left, towards one of the bags he was carrying. I looked down to see where his gaze was. As I did, Killian loosened the drawstring on the bag and opened it.
I didn’t know what I was seeing. It was only when Killian pulled the rest of the bag back that I realized what it was.
Perish’s severed head.
I stared at it.
His lips were white, his glasses half off of his head, his neck had been cut by a knife, his spine had saw marks on it. His face was grey and his mouth and eyes were open; he had died screaming.
Killian had cut his fucking head off.
“You said you wanted his brain.” Killian’s voice was hollow.
I finally broke my gaze from the severed head, and kneeled in front of Killian. His head was bowed but his eyes were staring up at me.
“Never doubt my commitment to you again,” he said.
I didn’t move and he didn’t either. I just stared at him. I didn’t know if I was waiting for him to cry, or speak first, but he was quiet.
Could I be so cold, callous, and insensitive to say that he had never looked more beautiful to me? That wasn’t even a question, just a whisper of empathy that would soon be killed by my own demons.
Only Killian and I could lock eyes and just stare like this, both lost in our own thoughts. What were his? Sympathy, despair, grief? No, his eyes were two shards of ice melting the coal of my own. Was it burning anger? Hatred for me? Perhaps… maybe I had pushed my little blond boy too far.
No, he wasn’t a boy anymore. I saw the open mouth, the sightless eyes, and the shreds of tangled flesh and arteries in the corner of my vision. He was no creature of weakness, he was no mess of tears, unstable and crying. He would be eventually, when we got home, when we slept, when I held him, when the shock wore off, but right now – he was a more heartless monster than I.
Killian had said he would get us out of here and he had. He had done things he didn’t want to do, things that I knew he would scream about in his sleep, but he had done it. Alone, with barely any help from me, too proud to sleep, too stubborn to let him help me. He had taken control, he had saved us.
He had saved us from what would’ve been his paradise. If he hadn’t been with me, if he hadn’t known me, if Perish had found him months ago he would have stayed with him. Stayed underground, safe and clean with amazing food, hot water, gardens, and a lonely scientist begging for affection.
Maybe he wasn’t that smart.
That remark in my own inner monologue made me smile just a bit. I raised my hand and stroked his cheek, my fingers coming back streaked as I ran them over his gouge marks.
“I love you.”
As I said it his face didn’t change but his heart jumped. A moment later he shuffled over to me still on his knees. When he did, I put my arms around him and pulled him close. He still didn’t cry.
I squeezed him, then shifted myself to a sitting position. Kneeling was starting to make me dizzy. I sat with him on my lap, and eventually we ended up on the pavement lying down together, his face buried in my neck, my arms clasped around his back. We lay together, and though I felt my eyes get heavy, I still didn’t sleep. I didn’t want this moment to end. I wanted to drink in every second of it.
Just me, my boy, and a severed head.
Chapter 26
Reaver
“Greyson! GREYSON!”
Oh for fuck sakes…
“GREYSON!” He was hysterical, absolutely hysterical. I wanted to keep my eyes closed just so he could think I was dead for a few moments longer. Just to make him suffer for disturbing this intimate moment between me and my boyfriend.
I felt hands on me as Leo pulled me away from Killian. In a flash they were both there breathing all over us.
“Shit, who’s injured? Both of you? Greyson look at Reaver, he’s completely fucked up,” Leo said. He started smacking the side of my face. I didn’t realize I was staring off into space again. I tried to find his eyes.
Wowee, did he ever look terrible. “Reaver? Reaver?” He lifted up my shirt and swore. “He’s been chained, look at… fuck, they’re infected. That’s not his blood though.” I heard Leo take in a sharp breath followed by an anguished groan. “Whatever it is… it got Killian. Fuck, FUCK!” His voice was strangled, he thought Killian was dying, how cute. “He’s soake
d… what is it Greyson? Is it too late?”
I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. My eyes focused just in time to see Greyson and Leo looking at me like I had lost my motherfucking mind and I probably had.
“Killian’s fine and it’s not his blood, you fuckwads.” My voice was raspy and slurred. “Show them, you little psychopath.”
Killian looked at me. The brave, cold, blond badass I had seen rolling a head to my knees was gone. His lower lip quivered. “It’s his –” He pointed to the head. “– his blood.”
Greyson swore and picked up the head by the ear. Killian took in a shuddering breath as he did and turned his head away.
“Jesus fuck, Reaver,” Greyson whispered. “Is there anyone left alive?”
I shook my head, or I tried to. It weighed a hundred pounds. “We’re fucking alone, all alone.”
“What happened?”
I laughed. My head flopped to Greyson and I smiled at him. He looked back, bewildered. “Killian happened!” I went to get up but I only made it halfway before I fell over onto the pavement.
“What the fuck is he on?” Leo’s hands pulled me to my feet, then he steadied me against himself.
“He… he hasn’t slept for eight days.”
Leo gave an impressed whistle, Greyson just swore some more. The leader of Aras walked over to me and put a hand on my head. “Bet you’re seeing some interesting colours, aren’t you, son?”
“I’m not even fucking sure you’re really here,” I said with an open-mouthed grin.
Greyson’s mouth gave a twitch. He looked at me for a second and then the bastard hugged me. Then invading from my left, Leo pulled Killian in and they hugged me too.
“What happened, Reaver?” Greyson said quietly.
“I don’t want to get into it now, I want to go home,” I said. I felt my teeth clench; everyone was pawing all over my bruised and raw body.
Greyson pulled away from me. He didn’t look like he wanted to let it go but he nodded.
“Everything is okay now,” I heard Killian whisper. “He’s dead. They’re all dead. Donnely is empty.”
“We managed to get the truck here, come on, boys – let’s go home,” Greyson said pulling back.
“But… Reno’s quad, I… I left his bag…” Killian stumbled. It looked like he could walk on his own. He gravitated towards me, Perish’s bag and his satchel in his arms, then he put his hand in mine.
“We found Reno’s bag, lots of blood, your assault rifle, and some loose pills,” Leo said. “The blood led us to a closet, fuck we thought you were in there.”
“The quad… I can drive…”
“It’s not going anywhere, love,” I said to him. “Let’s just go home.”
Killian nodded and stuck by me, Greyson was on my other side holding me steady. I knew I probably could walk, but I didn’t trust myself not to walk into a rusted car or a street light.
“How long did they have you for?” Greyson asked. His eyes followed my skinned and pus-filled wrists as I wiped my nose. Fuck, I wanted drugs and sleep.
“It wasn’t they–” Killian started but I cut him off.
“Sleep first.”
“But Reaver–”
“It was just that knucklehead?” Greyson looked into Killian’s bag. He tried to pull out the head. As he did Killian jerked it away. He managed to get the blue bag, but his satchel spilled some of its contents onto the pavement.
A peach rolled towards Leo.
Leo stared at it like it was a grenade, his eyes widened. He picked it up and looked at it. He looked over at Greyson, and then Killian, and then to the bag.
“Perish?” he whispered.
“In all his glory,” I replied bitterly.
Leo’s face drained of colour. They had both always been paranoid freaks when it came to King Silas and his chimeras. “Nero won’t be back for three months, we have tons of time to–”
“Nero? NERO?” Leo suddenly shrieked. He grabbed me and shoved my face into his. “Did he take your blood? Does he know who you are?” He was hysterical again. I stared back, bewildered.
“He never saw me, Perish didn’t seem interested in my blood.” I was too tired to deal with this shit. I could hear Killian making choking noises beside me. I put my arm around his waist.
Greyson had the head out. He looked at it grimly. “We need to get this back to the lab before we–”
“No, no… no, we’re getting his body.” Leo dropped me. He took two steps towards where we had come from, then spun around like he wanted to say something, then turned back around.
“Why the hell do you need his fucking body?” I asked angrily. Killian was tense beside me. This was stressing him out. I just wanted to go home.
“Because… because… no one can know he’s dead.” Leo spun around again. He put his hands on the back of his head; his face was green. “We need to… I need to make sure no one knows you were here… oh fuck… oh fuck.”
“Leo…” Killian said meekly. He reached into his lab coat with a trembling hand and handed him Perish’s keycard. “I… I… I… he had video cameras everywhere. Including the city.”
Leo took the card; he looked at Greyson.
“Not… now,” Greyson said slowly. “We don’t need–” he let that hang and said instead. “Let’s get the boys home and we can both come back.”
Leo went over to Greyson and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”
“Don’t you fucking dare!” Greyson said angrily but Leo was gone, sprinting towards the entrance. Greyson let out a frustrated growl and let go of me for a second. “Keep walking, straight line until Gibson Street then turn left. I’ll be right back.”
“Stop right now!” Greyson yelled after Leo and disappeared behind us.
“That’s going to be us in nineteen years,” Killian whispered as we watched Greyson sprint after his husband.
“That’s us now.” I was surprised to feel my lips tighten; I was smiling. We kept walking, with me ignoring the fact that the pavement was waving and bubbling in front of me. One foot in front of the other; it was my walk of glory. Me with my boy in my arms, well… technically he was holding me up.
I tried to give out a whoop when I first saw the truck but I was too tired. The old rusted pickup was parked several blocks from the outskirts of the city. I could see the buildings give way to the grey hills and broken houses beyond Donnely. It was surreal to me. I kept watching the city’s edge expecting to see legionaries on the horizon or more shadows; something to tell me it was a hallucination, but it wasn’t. I was so close to being home I could taste it.
We both sat on the truck together. Killian leaned into me. He was still silent, still dealing with everything on his own. All I could do to help right now was keep my arm around him for support. I was too numb to have the weight of what had happened today affect me. One god damn thing at a time.
I don’t know if I nodded out or just tuned out, but Killian’s gasp brought me back to reality. I shot up and looked around to see what it was about.
Greyson was walking towards us quickly, sweat beading down his forehead. He had a sheet-wrapped body slung over his shoulder.
Killian started hyperventilating. I buried his face into my chest so he didn’t need to see the decapitated body of Perish.
Greyson slammed the body down in the back of the truck. “Get in.”
Leo was behind him, looking grim and rattled. He noticed me shielding Killian from the grisly scene.
“Was he your friend, Killian?”
Killian sniffed but didn’t say anything. I answered for him. “It’s complicated and you’re not getting a word out of him or me until we have had a day to sleep.”
Leo let out a breath and nodded. He looked too tired to argue. I walked Killian to the backseats of the pick-up and we both got in.
“Why?” Killian croaked.
“I don’t know, so the chimeras think he just up and disappeared maybe? With what Nero was saying to him, maybe
that’s a possibility,” I whispered. “I don’t want to ask, not now.”
He nodded and curled up next to me. Two truck doors slammed and after that came the loud rumbling of an over two hundred-year-old engine. Relief flooded me as the truck lurched forward, slowly at first as Greyson weaved throughout the cars but eventually we were off-road. Making our way back home.
Greyson and Leo were talking amongst themselves as I faded in and out of consciousness, though the engine was too loud for me to listen. Killian kept looking behind him at the sheet-draped corpse. The sheet was flapping in the wind now, but for his sake it had been tucked pretty close to the body so it hadn’t flown off. The blue bag containing Perish Dekker’s head was beside him. I didn’t even realize Killian had left it behind in the back.
I jumped like someone had just shocked me. In my head the corpse flashed from being dead in the bed of the truck to looking through the back window at me. I squinted my eyes hard.
“He’s definitely hallucinating,” Killian said. I think Greyson had said something to him. I felt a hand pet my head. “He was really bad down there.”
Greyson said something to him, to which Killian replied, “yeah, and worse.” I wasn’t sure what he had asked. I felt my mind go hazy and my head start to nod. I tried to pick it up again but it weighed too much.
Killian shook me awake. When I came to, I realized the truck had turned silent.
Ugh, everyone was hovering around me. I let out an annoyed noise
“He’s coming to,” Leo said, then one of those jackasses poured cold water on my face.
“I never left! What the fuck!” I shot up. Everyone gave me a wide berth. I was on the greywaste floor now. Killian was a heap of panic beside me.
“Baby, you lost consciousness. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head,” Killian whimpered, wiping the water from my face. “You started seizing.”
“He needs rest. Get back in the truck, son.” Greyson hoisted me up. “How often has this been happening, Killian?”
Of course he asked him… he knew I would lie.
“Lots, but he’s never had a seizure after, though that might be not sleeping.” Killian’s voice was unstable, like a small bomb of anxiety about to explode.
