by Quil Carter
“We’ll get Doc to check him out when he sleeps,” Greyson said.
More slamming, more engines. I rested my head against the back of the truck seat. My body was breaking itself down. The urge to survive and to murder were two instincts that had been keeping me awake this whole time, and my need to know what was happening with Killian. That was all leaving my body and quickly. I was crashing fast.
Finally I heard the truck slow down, and as it did I could hear what the dads were talking about. “I’ll tell him to get back. Oh, Sadii just saw Reaver, she’s running to the others. We should have put his head down until we were far away from the wall.”
I heard the squeal of rusted metal as the door beside me opened. Leo grabbed my underarm and helped me out of the truck. All around me I could hear the buzzing of people talking, low murmurs, curious stares, and speculation. Everyone was too close.
“Is he okay? Is Tink with him? Reaver!” I felt big arms wrap around me; it was Reno. He squeezed me tight and I heard his chest rattle like he was holding back his own tears. “You bitch, what did you get out of? Shit, bro. Fuck me, I thought you were dead.” Reno smelled like my basement, like my home.
Home was close.
“Doc!” Greyson called. “We’re over here.”
“No, not that asshole, I want to go home.” We were walking forward now. I wasn’t sure where but I had everyone hovering around me. With every comment and with every touch my fuse got shorter and shorter.
“Fuckin’ Christ, one of them is about to die, which one is it?” Doc suddenly appeared.
“It’s not their blood. Reaver was shackled, he has bad friction marks–”
“Reaver’s alive!” Fuck, now Miller… “HEY EVE-”
I ripped away from Greyson and gave an angry bellow. The whole world spun but I managed to regain my balance. I found my hands reaching for my M16 and I pulled it out before anyone could stop me.
I pointed it at them. They were blurs at first, fast swirling blurs of nausea and confusion. I pointed at each of them, taking several steps back.
“No one… comes near me.” My voice barely sounded like my own. “No one follows me… no one follows me.”
“Reaver…” Killian whispered beside me. I felt his hand.
The blurs came into view, distorted, moving. I saw Greyson, Leo, Reno, Miller, Sadii, and Doc, all frozen in place. Greyson had his hands up, his lips were moving but I couldn’t hear him. All of the other ones were wide-eyed and rigid.
Killian whispered in my ear, and put his hand on the base of my gun. He was talking softly to me, but all I could hear was his tone. The words were muffled, like he was trying to talk under water. It was his voice though; it broke through and I felt myself calm.
A moment later Killian pressed down on the silencer of my gun and it lowered. Then I felt him gently take it from me. I felt every heartbeat around me lower as he did.
“Come home, baby,” he said. He took my hand and led me away. No one followed us, so whatever it was that I had done, it had worked.
Then I was home.
The shed rattled and I heard Killian undo my lock, and then rustle in the bag for the tank key. I looked at the shed of electronics I would one day fix, and made a note to fix the waffle maker. They had made waffles; I remembered loving the taste. It was worth making the stupid thing work. I might try the microwave too. I hated fixing microwaves – too much fire.
Killian tugged on my pant leg and I automatically slid down the tank door, closing the hatch behind me. It was temporarily dark until I pulled on the handle and opened my basement up.
Home sweet home.
It smelled wonderful, it smelled like me, it smelled like safety. I just stood there as Killian turned the generator on and started taking off my clothes.
“Oh… we left your underclothes behind,” Killian said, he pushed some clean ones into my hands. “Put these on hun.” Well, I was in no mood to argue. I took Perish’s pants off and put on my underclothes. It was warm in my basement; Reno must have left in a hurry.
I made my way to the bedroom. I turned on the light. The cat was on my bed; he looked at me and squinted his eyes. I squinted back and meowed at him.
Killian came in with a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Drink, the whole thing.” Killian took the cat off of the bed and straightened it out for me. I took the water from him and downed it.
“There, now go to sleep,” Killian whispered, leading me to the bed. I lay down. Oh, did I ever miss my bed.
“What about you?” I murmured as everything went dizzy around me.
“I will soon, hun.”
That was the last thing I heard.
Killian
I hadn’t even taken his second boot off before I heard him snoring. I walked up to him and rubbed his arm, leaned down and kissed his cheek. I watched as Biff jumped back onto the bed and started kneading Reaver’s thigh, before settling down with an orchestra of purrs. Biff would be in heaven for the next day, I knew Reaver wouldn’t be moving much.
I rubbed his arms and tried to warm up his cold skin, until I heard the tank door creak.
“He’s asleep,” I called out.
Leo popped out of the tunnel and Greyson wasn’t far behind. Greyson peeked into Reaver’s room as if to confirm Reaver hadn’t put me up to it and they were about to get shot. He closed Reaver’s door and motioned us to the living room.
“Are you in a good enough state to tell us what happened, Killian?” Leo’s voice was gentle. He handed me a bottle full of water.
I nodded. I wasn’t tired yet just… stunned, shocked, in a daze? I could smell Perish’s blood on me. It was everywhere, it was even on my stomach where it had soaked through. It was a geyser, with force behind it, it was warm… there was so much of it.
I told them what had happened leading up to Perish finding me. The gas station, the old lady, the night at the house outside of Donnely and the scavenging the next day. Then the terrifying day I woke up and Reaver was gone.
I started feeling nauseas as I told them how the next two days went. Greyson must have sensed it.
“Leo, get Reaver’s bag. Get something for him. How long has Perish been in Donnely?”
“Eight years he said, and four of those he said he was all alone, just him,” My voice started to wobble. “King Silas treated him like shit, he… he… oh fuck.” I burst into tears, Greyson and Leo never had patience with my crying so I just buried my face in my hands. “He fell in love with me. We lied to him to keep us alive. He was crazy, fucking crazy and dangerous. But… he… he was so sweet, so gentle… he was so sad. I couldn’t leave him to face the fallout alone. I couldn’t do it.”
I wiped my eyes, trying to back up a bit. “He caught Reaver first. He had Reaver chained, and a slave collar over him. I had to pretend I wanted to date him, otherwise he’d feed us to one of the abominations he had in there. The way he did with the arians.”
“What did he have in there?” Leo asked quickly. Surprisingly Greyson told him to be quiet. I had forgotten that Leo was fascinated with science just like me.
“So, he held you two captive and he chained Reaver?” Greyson said instead.
“Slave collared him too, he couldn’t leave the lab without it exploding.” Leo passed me a lump of Dilaudid powder on a piece of mirror and one of Reaver’s little plastic sniffers. I gladly took some.
“They didn’t take Reaver’s blood did they? Perish or Nero?” Leo asked.
I shook my head and they both looked relieved.
“Why are you so afraid of him being registered?” I asked. I had always wondered that. They were absolutely neurotic when it came to Reaver’s blood being in the ACL.
“He would be recruited in a second with the enhanced hearing, eye sight and all of that,” Leo said. To my surprise he took some drugs too, then Greyson! Wow, these Merrik boys were all the same.
I was an illegal arian now. I couldn’t have my blood taken ever again or I would be a fugitive. Reaver was lucky
he had never been put into the system. So many weren’t; people from the greywastes and beyond who didn’t venture near colonies or towns. Though a lot of them eventually were registered just to get a hold of a Geigerchip for their children or if theirs malfunctioned.
I sighed and wiped my nose. The drugs were starting to calm me down.
Leo took my jaw into his hands and tilted it. “He electrocuted you?”
I nodded. “He beat Reaver, Perish had him in the surveillance room so he could watch Donnely and see us in the labs. Reaver never took his eyes off of him. He became extremely violent and mean the longer he was awake.”
“So he escaped and killed Perish?”
“I got the detonator, I got the key and I got the chains off him,” I said. They seemed to keep forgetting I had got us out of there so I decided to emphasise: “And I killed Perish.”
They still looked at me like they didn’t believe me, but the proof was all over me. Drying onto my chest, my stomach, and my groin. Litres and litres of blood.
Fuck, he was looking right at me… I just pet his head, I pet his head and talked to him in a loving voice.
“You’re all I have.”
“I know.”
I started to feel myself go numb. I was tired… I wanted them to leave… fuck, his eyes. Those blue eyes, that sweet, sweet smile. I had known I couldn’t stay with him like he ached for. I couldn’t leave him alone after everything I had made him feel… I was a monster, I was worse than Reaver. I had killed someone who loved me.
Those eyes, before they dimmed… confusion, shock, pain, sadness.
“Does this card key open every part of his lab?” Leo asked.
I nodded.
“As far as I know. I was only on the first and second levels. The second level has his labs… you’re going back there? Why?”
“Lots of reasons, son, don’t worry about it now,” Greyson said.
“I’m giving Doc the key to Reaver’s. He’s going to be prodding at him while he sleeps so make sure he doesn’t have weapons nearby. He’ll let himself out.” Leo helped me take my lab coat off. He immediately went to the bruises on my shoulders and the nail gouges. The bruises were in the shape of hand prints.
“What a prick. I guess the honeymoon didn’t last long?” Leo muttered.
I slunk down a bit. “Reaver did that.”
Leo said a few words under his breath.
“He… he was really tired. He had to watch some… awful things.”
“Did you have to…?”
I shook my head. “I had to dodge him a lot, and he… I… I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Yeah, we know… sorry, kiddo, just as long as he didn’t hurt you.”
“Physically no…” I muttered. I got up with Leo and Greyson.
“Are you and Reaver okay?” Leo asked heading towards the door.
I thought we were, but who knows how Reaver would feel about things once he woke up. They didn’t need to know that though.
“We’re perfect, he just… he turns into a total asshole when he hasn’t slept, but he’ll be fine when he wakes up.”
Leo nodded and turned towards the door. “We’ll come check on you tomorrow. Tell Doc if he has any more episodes and put some antiseptic on those gashes on your cheek.” Leo looked at them and let out a tense breath. “Reaver clawed your face too?”
I felt my hand rise and touch my cheek. “He… he was looking up at me when I did it.”
Leo and Greyson both stared at me.
“You… you did the right thing,” Greyson said finally. Leo turned and went up the tunnel without another word.
“You wouldn’t say that if you met him.”
That garnered me a strange look from Greyson.
“You liked him, son?”
I couldn’t look at him, my eyes fell to my feet. “I was everything to him, he treated me like a god. He was so nice, insane… fuck, insane but… I can’t–” I let out a sob, and to my surprise Greyson put his arm on my shoulder. “– I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt so sorry for someone.” I leaned up against the tank lid. I closed my eyes and saw Perish in my head. Those eyes burning a hole in me. “I killed him, I just… I killed him.”
“Son…” Greyson dropped his voice, he squeezed his hand on my shoulder. “You did the right thing. I can’t understand who he was personally, all I know is he hurt Reaver and he hurt you and that’s enough justification for him to die. So when you doubt what you did, just remember the basic truth.”
“Thanks, Greyson.” I gave him a small smile. He was a nice guy.
“You did good, boy,” he said as he climbed into the tunnel. “When you’re feeling better, we’ll talk it over with a beer.”
“I’d like that.”
There was a clang and then another from the shed, and then I was alone.
With my eyes heavy, I opened a can of bosen for Biff and refilled his water dish. His dish was streaked with blood; I knew Reno had been taking good care of him. Biff seemed happy to see me. I hoped he would join me and Reaver in bed.
I drank some water myself and took some Tylenol, then another lump of powder to help me sleep. Then I put on my own underclothes, turned the generator off and lay down beside Reaver.
I put my hand on his chest and listened to his heart. I couldn’t hear the beats like he could but I could still feel them. They were slow and steady; his heart sounded strong. I wanted to treat his wounds but I knew the sting would wake him up. Another few hours wouldn’t make a difference; right now I just wanted him to sleep.
Since he wasn’t around to say no, I shuffled towards him until I was right beside him. I curled up to his side. He was splayed on his back so I put my arm around his chest, and rested my head in the crook of his arm.
A few moments later there came a weight on the bed and then purring. I fell asleep to Reaver snoring, and Biff kneading my leg.
For the moment, everything was okay.
Chapter 27
Killian
We slept beside each other for the remainder of the evening and all throughout the night. I woke up a few times to make sure Reaver was still okay and he was. He moved around a lot in his sleep, but I always managed to worm myself into his arms somehow. Once he was even sleeping with his back to me so I got to spoon him; he would never let me do that normally. It was the best feeling ever. Though the next time I woke up I was at the far end of the bed, so I think he might have woken up at some point and banished me.
I was only partially awake when Doc came in the first time. He woke Reaver up for a moment to check his pupils, and give him some pills to take. Reaver swore but he didn’t get agitated. After that Doc gave him an injection to make sure he stayed asleep. He mentioned that with Reaver’s brain he would be up in six hours pretending to be fine, which would be bad for his concussion and everyone else around him. The injection would keep him sleeping for now.
After Reaver was drugged up, Doc cleaned his infected wounds and bound them. Reaver didn’t even flinch when Doc scrubbed off all the infected flesh. I was glad he was passed out for that. I fell back asleep while Doc was finishing up his ankle wounds.
I decided to not try and go back to sleep sometime the next morning. I had to pee extremely bad and my stomach was eating itself alive. Not to mention the cat had had enough of our bullshit and kept rubbing my face with his, and since my face was all oily from being filthy and from sleeping, his fur kept sticking to it. I would have to try and find a brush for him. Reaver would not tolerate a basement full of cat hair. I was already pressing it bringing home a cat.
I stayed in bed for a bit though and watched Reaver sleep. His hair was all tussled, sticking up in all directions. He was lying on his bad ear, so I got to marvel at how cute his little ear was.
I watched Reaver sleep for about a half an hour before it started to be more boring than cute. I kissed his lips and got up.
I turned on the generator and warmed up some bath water while rummaging through my satchel.
I was a bit sad to see that Leo and Greyson hadn’t returned my peach, but I had two more packed away. I had the tetanus bottles, seeds, scalpels, video cassettes, Twinkies, fruit snacks and some other things. I wanted to make some good food for Reaver when he woke but I wasn’t sure if giving him food from Perish’s lab would be appropriate. Then I remembered how little Reaver cared about things and decided I would anyway.
I bathed and scrubbed myself clean, making use of the Ivory soap and my own personal collection of shampoo, conditioners, and body wash. I left the water in the tub for Reaver, and put another pot of hot water on to top it up. We got our water from the little river but we still didn’t waste it, and we were both relatively clean from bathing at Perish’s.
I cleaned for a bit to busy myself and decided to quickly venture out to get some fresh meat for tonight. I was so thankful that I didn’t see anyone on foot to the Slaught House but I did get whooped at by Matt on the wall. He shouted at me asking how Reaver was doing and I said he was doing great and sleeping.
“I’m glad he’s sleeping, man. He’s a prick on the little sleep he gets now, I bet he’s a total fuck with eight days of no sleep!”
“You have no idea!” I shouted back and he laughed. I guess everyone had been pretty quiet about Reaver pulling his M16 on the welcoming party.
I wondered what Greyson and Leo had told them about us disappearing. The sentries, of course, knew and so the news had probably spread to the rest of the block.
Gary punched my ration card and gave me a nice rat roast, from the backside where all the good fatty meat was. I also got some organ meat for Biff as well. Most of the organ meat went to the stray cats and the deacdogs anyway so I didn’t have to give up any punches for it. Greyson and Leo encouraged feeding the cats or adopting them. The fewer deaths reported to the mercer the less chance they would have to pay a penalty to King Silas.
I picked some garlic, potatoes, and onion from Reaver’s garden. I was disappointed in myself with how put out I was regarding the size and quality of the stuff in Reaver’s garden. After seeing Perish’s these just looked well… sad, but they were good enough. I had to get rid of my memories of the great food Perish had grown, I would never have it again.
