Surprise Delivery
Page 20
She’d figured it out. All of it. He had no defenses, no quick excuses, nothing. “You’re right,” he said hoarsely.
“I’m not finished.” She walked around the desk until she was standing next to him. “I love you, Jim Dyer. Knowing all that I know, knowing the best you are or the worst you can be, I love you.”
He jerked as if he’d been struck, his mind and body recoiling to reject her words. “You can’t.”
“I can, and I do. I love you. Even when you’re distant. Even when you’re hiding from me. I love you. I’ll keep saying it until you believe it. And I’m going to fight to keep you.”
She handed Diane to him. The familiar soft, warm weight felt so right in his arms. Diane grinned as she looked up at him and waved her arms. He’d missed them both so much the pain of it nearly overwhelmed him.
“Hey, sweet cheeks,” he murmured.
“Now comes my confession,” Heather said.
He looked up startled. “What?”
Color stained her face. “I don’t want to just be friends, Jim. I want it all. You’re the only father Diane has ever known. She loves you and I believe you love her, too. You’re not perfect, but you’re perfect for us, and we’re right for you, too. We belong together and we can have a wonderful life together if only you’ll give us a chance. I know your deepest, darkest secret and it doesn’t disgust me or scare me. It makes me love you more. I know that there will always be some things you can’t fix and guess what? That’s okay. I still love you, and I’m not leaving. I’ll be right here underfoot, loving you and showing you that it’s safe to love me, too.”
With that, she turned on her heel and walked over to her desk. She sat down and started working as if the conversation had never taken place.
*
Jim continued to ignore Heather for the next four days. Which was not to say she ignored him. She spoke to him, teased him, told him jokes and touched him. In a way, the touching was the worst. Little brushes of her fingers against his arms, a light caress on the back of his neck, and once, in the lunchroom, a full body press by the refrigerator. She was killing him slowly.
He couldn’t breathe without thinking of her. Work had been reduced to either being with Heather, or not. His only relief came when he played with Diane, but being with her was its own special kind of torture. Because she had pretty blue eyes and a direct gaze just like her mother. And her eyes filled with the same emotion—the one emotion he was terrified to want—love.
He leaned against the window frame and stared out toward the hangar. A warm Santa Ana wind was blowing across the airport and Brian had brought in a kite. Heather and the teenager crouched beside Diane’s stroller while the baby clapped her hands in delight at the brightly colored diamond of fabric floating up in the air.
“At the risk of repeating myself,” Flo said, walking toward him, “how long are you going to be stupid? And don’t tell me you don’t know. I need a better answer than that.”
Jim wished he had one. “I don’t know what she wants from me.”
“Of course you do. She wants what most other people want. She wants a man she can love and respect, who will love and respect her in return. She wants to get married and have more babies. She wants to be happy.”
Flo’s words painted a picture that was a fantasy—something he could never give Heather.
“It wouldn’t work.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t—”
He found himself being physically turned until he faced Flo. She stared up at him, her eyes blazing with anger, her fingers digging into his arms. “I’m so sick of this,” she said, practically yelling at him. “I don’t know what happened in your past, but I’m willing to bet it was horrible. And I have just one thing to say about that. So what? We all have bad things in our past. You think I liked being a punching bag for all those years? Do you think I’m proud of how long I put up with it? Well, I’m not. But I’ve made peace with my past and moved on. It’s time for you to do the same. Let it go, Jim. Isn’t that what you tell people who come to work here? That their pasts don’t matter, that they’re starting fresh today? Give yourself the same break. You are being given the most wonderful opportunity of your life, and if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose it. Women like Heather don’t come along every day.”
She didn’t know what she was asking. “I’ve spent the past twenty years learning how not to need anyone or let anyone get close.”
“So? Unlearn it.” She shoved his shoulder until he was facing the window again. “Do you see that? You could have that. All you have to do is admit you love her. You do, you know. You have since the moment you met her. Just take one small chance. I promise you won’t regret it.”
He heard her walk away, but he didn’t move from his place at the window. He stared at the family scene in front of him and felt a longing so strong he thought he might die. His entire life history told him she couldn’t possibly love him. That somehow even if she did, he would fail her. But he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to let her walk away.
A gust of wind sent the kite crashing into the ground. He watched as Heather spoke with the teenager, then headed back to the office. Jim quickly took his seat.
Suddenly, Heather walked into the office and paused. “Where’s Flo?” she asked. “I have to leave for a dentist appointment and she said she would watch Diane.”
Heather was wearing a pink dress with short sleeves and buttons down the front. Soft blond curls teased at her face. She was tall and slender and the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“I can watch her,” he said, a little surprised that he could talk.
She didn’t look convinced. “Maybe she’s in back.”
“I think she left, but I don’t know where she went.”
Heather frowned. “How odd. That’s not like her at all. We just talked about it earlier this morning. I don’t think she forgot.”
“Don’t worry. Diane and I will be fine.”
He stood up and walked around to take the baby out of her stroller. Diane grinned when she saw him. He picked her up and kissed her cheek. At least being with Diane would help him forget about Heather for a little while.
“I don’t really have a choice,” she said. “Not that I don’t appreciate this, but I’m a little worried about Flo. Are you sure you’ll be all right? I could take her with me.”
Are you sure you’ll be all right?
He understood how she meant the question, but suddenly those seven words took on a significance far greater than what she’d implied. Would he be all right? He looked at the baby smiling up at him, at that baby’s lovely mother. He thought about all the joy they’d brought to him. How he only felt complete and healed when he was with Heather. He thought about the shared laughter and how she understood that it was important for him to help people. He thought about how she’d seen into the withered darkness of his soul and still claimed to love him.
No, not claimed. He knew Heather well enough to know that she didn’t say things she didn’t mean. She loved him. Who was he trying to kid? There was no way he could live without these two in his life. He couldn’t stand to be alone anymore. He had to let her inside. He had to love her and let her love him back.
Heather shifted her handbag onto her shoulder. “I guess I’ll be going.”
He took a step toward her. “No. Don’t go. Please. I want…” He paused, not sure what he needed to say. Then he realized the truth would be the easiest. “I love you.”
Her eyes opened wide. “What?”
“I love you. I need you so much. I can’t breathe without you. You are the light of my world, and so is your daughter. I don’t want you to take another job and I don’t want you to walk out of my life. I don’t want Diane to know a father other than me.” He took another step closer until he could have touched her.
He shifted the baby so she rested in the crook of his right arm, and with his left, he pulled Heather close. “I thought if I kept rescui
ng everyone else, no one would notice that I was the one nearly drowning. But you saw that.”
“Oh, Jim.” She rested her forehead against his shoulder.
“I love you, and I want to marry you. I want us to be a real family. I want us to have more kids and to always be together. I’ll do anything. Just please don’t go.”
She raised her head and he saw tears glimmering in her eyes. “I could never leave you.” She smiled. “Even when you were too stubborn to realize we belonged together.” Her smile faded. “Are you scared?”
“Terrified. But I’m going to risk it all because I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.” She kissed him. “You can’t.”
“You can’t lose me, either.” He touched her face, then cupped the back of her neck and drew her to him. “Let me love you forever.”
“Only if you let me love you right back.”
He agreed, because now there weren’t any doubts. As she held him close and murmured how much she cared, he felt the last shard of pain fall from his heart and blow away. The past would always be a part of him because it had shaped who he had become. But it no longer owned him. He’d found a different place to live. He’d finally found where he belonged…right in Heather’s arms.
*
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SUSAN MALLERY
was thrilled when she realized that Surprise Delivery was her thirtieth romance for Harlequin and Silhouette Books. For her, writing romances—books that affirm the choices of the heart—is a dream come true. She’s a favorite with readers. Her books frequently appear on many bestseller lists and she’s promised that she’ll do her best to write at least thirty more wonderful romances.
eISBN-13: 978-1-4603-7811-3
Surprise Delivery
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