Count to Ten

by Karen Rose

  He drew the book from the bag and frowned. It was poetry. Hard-assed, sarcastic verse by a guy named Bukowski. It was titled Love Is a Dog from Hell. He drew a breath and opened to the note she’d penned. Like everything else, Mia’s handwriting was open, sprawling and messy.

  It’s not my heart. More like my spleen. But my own words are awkward and this guy says what I feel. Maybe I like poetry after all.

  Not her heart? Oh. He closed his eyes, remembering. The night she’d seen the ring around his neck. He’d been reading Christine’s book of poetry. When he woke, it was on his nightstand. Mia must have read Christine’s inscription. Now Christine’s book filled with lyrical beauty was gone and in his hands he held a new book of raw, passionate, sometimes angry words. But the sentiment touched him deep and as he sat reading the book she’d chosen, he finally let the tears he’d held back for days fall.

  She’d be okay. Mia was too hardheaded to accept any other outcome. So am I.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Monday, December 11, 3:55 P.M.

  A nurse stuck her head in the room. “You have a visitor, Detective.”

  Mia wanted to groan. Her head hurt. She’d had a steady stream of visitors since being moved into her own room. She could have told the nurses to make them stop, but every person was someone she loved. And someone who loved her. A headache was a small price to pay. “Sure, send him in.”

  Jeremy peeked around the corner and Mia smiled. “Hey, kid.”

  “Hey.” He approached the bed. “You look better.”

  “I feel better.” She patted the mattress. “How’s school?”

  He gingerly climbed up beside her. “My teacher made a mistake today.”

  “She did? Tell me.”

  And he did, telling her about his teacher’s mispronunciation of the name of some Babylonian king Mia had never heard of, speaking very gravely as Mia had learned was his way. As he talked, the headache eased and she put the worry over the states of her body and her career from her mind. This child was safe. She’d done something important.

  Now she wanted Jeremy to be more than safe. Occasionally he smiled and once in the last week he’d even laughed. He seemed content at Dana’s, but somehow that wasn’t enough. She wanted him to be happy, not just content.

  He finished his tale and after a long pause and careful study of her face said, “You made a mistake that day.” He frowned. “Actually, you lied.”

  Which day didn’t need to be specified. “I did?”

  He nodded. “You told Kates I never said a word about him. You lied.”

  “Hmm.” So the teacher story was merely a clever segue. “I suppose I did. Would you have preferred I told the truth?”

  He shook his head. “No.” He bit his lip. “My mom lied, too.”

  Ahh. “You mean when she said she hadn’t seen him? She was protecting you.”

  “So were you.” He straightened abruptly. “I want to live with you.”

  She blinked. Opened her mouth. Denials and reasons why not sprang to her mind, but none would pass through her lips. There was only one answer she could give this child who’d been through so much. “Okay.” And she’d find a way to make it happen if she had to move heaven and earth. “But I have to warn you, I’m a bad cook.”

  “It’s okay.” He snuggled down beside her, the remote in his hand. “I’ve been watching cooking shows. It doesn’t look too hard. I think I can cook for us.”

  She laughed and kissed the top of his head. “Good.”

  Monday, December 11, 5:15 P.M.

  Dana had come for Jeremy and Mia was again alone. She had much to ponder. She’d gained a cat and a boyfriend and a kid. And she’d lost a kidney and a career, all in two weeks’ time. Kates was dead, by Reed’s hand. Jeremy was alive. And so was her mother. She’d have sacrificed nearly anything to save Jeremy, but the saving of her mother had sacrificed her career and that seemed a high price to pay.

  I should have killed Kates when I had the chance, she thought. When he’d held the knife to her mother’s throat, it was as if it were a stranger sitting there. She’d saved her mother, risking her own life. But she’d risked her life for strangers many times.

  A stranger would be more likely to give her a kidney, though. It was hard not to be bitter about that. I’ll live. And pragmatically that was the important thing. But her career was over unless a donor could be found. Kelsey wasn’t a match, nor was Dana or Reed or Murphy or any of her friends who’d stepped up to the plate without being asked. Apparently even Carmichael had been typed, but no cigar.

  Olivia was a solid fixture in her mind, but it wasn’t something Mia felt she could ask. They were strangers. Maybe, someday, they’d be friends. If so, Mia wanted it to be for the right reasons, not because she’d cultivated a relationship in the hopes of begging a kidney. That seemed... cheeky.

  So it seemed a career change was in the near future. So what will I be? It was an interesting question and not a little terrifying. But she didn’t have to think about that now. Now she was taking the break Spinnelli had promised. But not at the beach and her skin was going the opposite way of a tan. But I’ll live.

  “Hey.” Reed came in, carrying a newspaper in one hand and a big plastic bag in the other. “How are you feeling?”

  “Headache, but other than that, okay. I swear, Solliday, if you have a box of condoms in that sack, then you’d better find another woman.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed her gently. “I never thought I’d miss your smart mouth.” He handed her the paper. “Thought you’d want to see this.” The headline read local newscaster indicted for extortion. The byline was Carmichael’s.

  Mia’s lips twitched. “This is much better than any of that pain reliever you keep shoving down my throat.” She scanned the page and looked up with a grin. “Holly Wheaton’s going to be broadcasting from a cell. I never thought that threat would be a reality.”

  “You know, you told me why she hated you. You never told me why you hated her.”

  “It seems so unimportant now. Remember I told you about how I fought with Guy in that fancy restaurant and gave him back his ring? Well, somebody had tipped Wheaton off that we were there and fighting. She’d been demoted from headline news to the society gossip stuff because no cops would let her near a crime scene. Anyway, Wheaton was waiting outside the restaurant with a camera. Asked me if it was true that Guy and I had broken up. It wasn’t even good gossip. It was just spiteful.”

  She sighed. “And that’s how Bobby found out his free hockey tickets were gone. He made sure I knew he wasn’t happy. I shouldn’t have cared. I guess it was a stupid reason to hate her.” She grinned. “But I’m still happy her ass is going to jail.”

  Reed laughed and kissed her again. “Me, too.” He moved to the chair. “Beth entered another poetry slam competition. I got invited. So are you, if you’re out in time.”

  Mia sobered. “Did you ever ask her to do ‘casper’ for you?”

  Something moved in Reed’s dark eyes, intense and profound. “Yes. And then I told her I loved her, just like you said I should.”

  “She’s got a gift.”

  “Yes, she does. I had no idea she felt that way.” He swallowed. “To think that she’d thought I’d trade her to have her mother back. I never meant to hurt Beth that way.”

  “So, what will you do about it?”

  He smiled. “I met with the contractors about the house. I approved the structural plans, but I’m going to let Beth and Lauren decorate. You get input on my bedroom.”

  She lifted her brows. “I do?”

  “You’re going to be living there when you get out of here.”

  He said it with an uncharacteristic belligerence. Her brows stayed up. “I am?”

  “You are. At least until you’re recovered. Then you can leave if you want to. You got something to say about that, Mitchell?”

  He was nervous. It was sweet. “Okay. But I only get input?”

  He relaxed.
“I don’t want stripes and plaid. Beth has a good eye. You can input.”

  “Okay.” She laced their fingers together. “Jeremy came to see me today.”

  “And you watched TV,” Reed said dryly.

  She chuckled. “History of cheese or something.” Then she sighed. “Reed, something’s been on my mind.” She stared down at their hands. “I don’t want Jeremy growing up in foster care, even a good home like Dana’s.”

  “You want to adopt him, then.”

  “Yeah. He asked if he could come live with me when I get out. I said yes and I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep that promise. I wanted you to know that.”

  “We have a spare room. He can stay there. But he shouldn’t have his own TV. That kid watches too much TV as it is.”

  It was such a small thing to him, taking in a child. Mia was nearly floored by both the generosity and the ease with which he committed himself. “We’re talking a kid, here, Reed. Another person. I don’t want you to make this decision lightly.”

  His eyes darkened. “Did you?”

  “No.”

  “Neither did I.” He drew a breath. “I’ve had something on my mind, too. Do you remember when I asked if you believed in soul mates?”

  Her heart quickened. “Yes.”

  “You said you believed that some people might have them, maybe.”

  “And you said a person could have only one.”

  “No, I said I didn’t know.”

  “Okay. Then you said you’d never found anyone to replace Christine.”

  “And I never will.”

  She blinked. It was not the direction she’d expected the conversation to go. “Why did you ask me to stay with you, Reed? Because if it’s only pity, I’m not interested.”

  He lifted his eyes to the ceiling with a frustrated sigh. “I’m not good with this. I wasn’t good the first time, either. Christine actually proposed.”

  Mia’s jaw dropped. “You’re... you’re not proposing.”

  He shot that boyish grin that never failed to charm her. “No. But you should see the look on your face.” He brought her hands to his lips and sobered. “I couldn’t replace -Christine. She was an important part of my life. She gave me Beth. But what I realized is that I don’t need to replace her.” He looked down at their hands. “I loved -Christine because she made me more than I’d been on my own. She made me happy.” He looked up and smiled. “You make me happy.”

  Mia tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I’m glad.”

  He lifted one brow. “And?”

  “And you make me happy, too.” She grimaced slightly. “Now I wonder when the other shoe’s going to fall.”

  “It’s not a crime to be happy, Mia. So. Do you believe in love at first sight?”

  It was a trick question. “No.”

  He grinned. “Me, either. Especially since at first sight you looked insane.”

  “And you looked like Satan.” She rubbed a finger over his goatee. “But it’s growing on me. Reed, I might not be normal... ever again.”

  His grin faded. “I know. We’ll cross those bridges when we come to them. For now, concentrate on getting well. We’ll keep searching for a match.” He cleared his throat. “I brought you something.” He reached into a big plastic bag and brought out the board game Clue. “I thought you should keep your detecting skills sharp.”

  Mia’s eyes stung. “I go first. And I’m any piece except the revolver or the knife.”

  He set up the board. “You can be the candlestick. And just because you’ve got a hole in your gut is no reason for special favors. You’ll roll to go first, like everyone else.”

  Mia was ready to guess Colonel Mustard in the library with the pipe when the voice at the door caught her by surprise. “Miss Scarlett in the conservatory with the rope.”

  Mia’s eyes widened. “Olivia?”

  Reed looked considerably less surprised, but more worried. “Olivia.”

  Olivia came to the foot of the bed and drew a breath. “All right.”

  Mia’s imagination combined with the thin thread of hope. “All right, what?”

  Olivia looked at Reed. “You didn’t tell her?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t want to get her hopes up. And, you said no.”

  “No, I just didn’t say yes.” Olivia met Mia’s eyes. “Reed called me the day after you were shot and told me what you needed. He also told me your mother refused to be tested. You win, big sister. Your family is much worse than mine.”

  Mia was speechless. “You’re willing to be tested?”

  “No, I was tested. I never say yes to things right away. I had to get the facts. Get tested. Get a leave of absence.”

  “And?” Reed asked impatiently.

  “And I’m here. I’m a match. We’re going to do this thing next week.”

  Reed’s breath came shuddering out. “Thank God.”

  Mia shook her head. “Why?”

  “Well, not because I love you. I don’t even know you.” Olivia’s brows furrowed. “But I do know what you’d be giving up if I didn’t. You’re a cop. A good one. If you don’t get a kidney, you lose that and Chicago loses you. I can keep that from happening. So I will.”

  She searched Olivia’s face. “You don’t owe me anything, Olivia.”

  “I know. Kind of.” Her eyes shadowed. “Then again, maybe I do. But what I do or don’t owe you doesn’t really matter. If a cop in my department needed this, I’d do it. Why not for my own blood?” Her brows winged up. “Now if you don’t want my guts...”

  “She wants it,” Reed said firmly. He took Mia’s hand. “Let her help you, Mia.”

  “Olivia, have you thought this through?” Mia wouldn’t let herself hope. Not yet.

  Olivia shrugged. “My doctor says I’ll be back to full duty in a few months. My captain has approved my time off. I’m not sure I could have agreed otherwise.”

  Mia narrowed her eyes. “Once you give it to me, I’m not giving it back.”

  Olivia laughed. “Okay.” She pulled up a chair on the other side of Mia’s bed, sobering. “I wanted to apologize to you. That night we talked... I was so shocked. I ran. I ran all the way back to Minnesota.”

  “You needed time. I never meant to drop it on you that way.”

  “I know. You’d had a bad day. Nice save on the Kates case, by the way.” She smiled. “I read the Trib. I boycott the Bulletin on principle.”

  Mia smiled back. “Me, too.” Then she sobered as Olivia’s smile faded.

  “Mia, I’m sorry. I judged when I didn’t understand. I understand better now. And I appreciate you trying to keep me from feeling... shunned. You were right. I was luckier. I wish my mother were alive for me to tell her so.” She stood up. “I’m going to get a hotel room and go to sleep. I pulled a double shift before I got here.”

  “I’d offer to let you stay with us, but we’re still in a hotel, too,” Reed said.

  “It’s all right. Your doctor has my health records. He’ll redo the typing a week before the scheduled day. Then it’s a done deal. He says the procedure will be done laparoscopic-ally on both of us. I’ll be released in a day or two. You could be home by Christmas.” She looked at Reed. “I assume this meets with your approval.”

  Reed’s nod was shaky. “It does. Thank you.”

  Then she was gone, leaving Mia staring after her. She turned to Reed, her eyes wet. “You did this for me.”

  “I tried. I didn’t think she’d agree.”

  “The first day we met, you gave me your umbrella.”

  His lips curved. “I remember.”

  “Today you gave me back my life. An important part of if, anyway.” But not all, she realized. Not anymore. She was more than a cop. She had a cat. And a kid. And a man who sat looking at her as if he’d never let her go. “How can I thank you for that?”

  His dark eyes gleamed. “I think we can come up with something.”

  Epilogue

  Sunday, August 12, 9:25 A.M.
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  Stop it, Reed.” Mia pushed his hand from its groping quest. “Look.”

  “I was trying,” he grumbled.

  “I meant look at the news. Lynn Pope from Chicago on the Town told me not to miss this morning’s show.”

  With a sigh for the morning sex that was not to be, Reed sat up in bed and put his arm around Mia’s shoulders. She leaned against him easily now, but the thrill was still brand-new. As was the gratitude he experienced every time he woke up to her face.

  She was a phenomenal woman. A good cop. She’d returned to duty from her surgery after only four months. Her first day back he’d watched her strap on her holster, fear clutching his heart, but he’d said nothing. In the first week she and Abe Reagan had put away two murderers. Now he watched every day as she strapped on the holster and fear still clutched his heart. But she was a good cop, even better now with the added appreciation of her own mortality. She was careful. She had too much to lose not to be. She’d have to watch her health and take her meds for the rest of her life, but she had a life and for that Olivia Sutherland was on their permanent Christmas list.

  Mia was a good mom, which he knew she’d be, but he knew it surprised the hell out her. Jeremy was thriving, having found an affinity for soccer. Mia was training him for the peewee leagues. But he still found time to watch the History Channel.

  She wasn’t a daughter anymore. Annabelle Mitchell had been incensed that Mia had told “lies” about Bobby when she’d been negotiating for Jeremy’s release. And “when every cop could hear every word from her wire,” which Reed suspected was the real sin. Not the “lie” but the disclosure, which had not brought the pity Mia had feared. She’d earned far too much respect in her career. She was a good cop.

  He kissed the top of Mia’s head. And she was a good wife. On the day of their wedding Beth had informed him it was the first day of spring. It hadn’t been his plan, but it seemed appropriate. Beth thought Christine would approve. Reed agreed.

  “What’s this?” he asked as a picture of an awards ceremony filled the screen.

  “Lynn Pope was up for the Newscasters Award for the story she did on Bixby and Hope Center. Looks like she won. I hope Wheaton’s watching this from her cell.”