Everything You Want

by Like, Macyn

  Kieran likes me.

  Greta was right. I did have it bad.

  Chapter 14

  Kieran

  Instead of walking straight to my door after work, I took a detour to Marissa’s. She wouldn’t be home yet, so I just stuck the Post-it that I’d wrote earlier during my prep hour to her front door. I really needed to get her phone number. Texting would have been so much easier.

  By seven forty-five, I still hadn’t heard from her. Kiera was in the bathroom giving Skylar a bath and I was sitting on the couch, surfing on my laptop and trying not to think. Maybe she didn’t even see my note. I thought I heard her come home around five-thirty, but it could’ve been wishful thinking.

  Just as I was sliding my cell phone in my pocket and looking for my keys, I heard a soft knock on the door. I opened it and sucked in a deep breath.

  Marissa was standing outside, wearing a fitted red t-shirt and a pair of dark curve-hugging jeans. Her long blond hair was straight and sleek, her eyes were outlined in smoky black eyeliner, and her lips were full and shiny. Don’t get me wrong; I thought Marissa looked great everyday, but this…wow. I mostly only saw her in her work clothes and I’d never seen her hair straightened. She looked amazing. It took me a moment to close my mouth, which had been hanging open ever since I opened the door.

  Her brow creased, and I realized that I’d stared a second too long.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, looking down at her outfit.

  “No, you look great,” I said.

  “Sorry I’m a little late. It took me some time to get cleaned up.”

  “It’s fine. I’m not in a hurry.”

  “Are you ready?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied, grabbing my keys off the end table by the couch. “Kiera, I’ll be out late. Lock the door behind me, okay?”

  “Okay. Have fun!” she called back.

  I followed Marissa down the stairs, walking ahead of her in the parking lot to unlock my car. I opened the door for her and she slid in.

  “Do you know the band?” Marissa asked when I got in the car.

  “No. My friend Alisha knows them,” I said, turning the key and shifting into gear. “I’ve seen them play a couple of times. They’re decent.”

  She nodded. “Thanks for inviting me.”

  I turned and smiled at her. “No problem.”

  It didn’t take long to get to the club where Alisha’s friends were playing. I lucked out and found a parking spot fairly close to the building.

  Ollie was waiting for us beside the door. He had a girl with him I hadn’t seen before. He always had a different girl, every weekend. You could say he had commitment issues, kind of like myself. This girl was tall and super skinny, and had shoulder-length jet-black hair with thick, blunt bangs. She was wearing a sleeveless purple shirt, which revealed the flowery tattoo that snaked up her left arm from her wrist to her shoulder. She was a far cry from the blonde in the light blue Polo shirt he’d introduced us to last weekend. He’d met that one in the campus bookstore. I wondered where he met this one.

  Ollie smiled as we approached and slipped an arm around the girl’s waist. “Kieran, the is Vivienne. She’s in my contemporary poetry class.”

  Ollie was a perpetual student. He’d graduated a semester earlier than me with a BA in Art history. He was currently working on his second degree in English lit, or Drama, or Philosophy, or maybe all three. He told us that he wanted more enrichment in his life, but I was fairly certain he was just in it to pick up girls and live off of student loans.

  “Vivi, this is Kieran and…” he trailed off, gesturing to my date.

  “Marissa,” I filled in for him.

  “Marissa.” He squeezed her hand gently. “Nice to meet you. I’m Ollie. Kieran’s probably told you about me. I’m pretty awesome.”

  Marissa laughed.

  “Where are Shannon and Alisha?” I asked.

  “Already inside. Come on.” Ollie took Vivienne by the hand and we followed them inside.

  I did not like this particular club. It was too small and always crowded. I only agreed to come tonight so that I’d have somewhere to invite Marissa. We cut our way through the crowd to where Alisha and Shannon were standing close to the stage.

  Shannon’s eyes widened a little as we approached. When I was standing right next to him he nudged me, leaned in and whispered, “That her?”

  I nodded once. “Marissa, this is Shannon, and his fiancée, Alisha.”

  Shannon smiled brightly and said hi to her, but Alisha just frowned and looked at me. “I didn’t know you were bringing someone, Kieran.”

  “Is that okay?” I asked, confused. I’d brought girls to these things before. Alisha was never friendly to them, or Ollie’s girls for that matter, but she at least acknowledged them, usually. I figured she must’ve been in a worse mood than usual.

  “Of course,” Alisha said in a clipped tone, and turned back to the stage.

  Two seconds later the lights dimmed and the crowd began to push forward, causing my chest to collide with Marissa’s back. I was instantly reminded of the storm, and how good it felt to have her so close to me. To my surprise, instead of moving forward, she settled against me, leaning her head back against my shoulder. I couldn’t stop my arms as they rose up and wrapped loosely around her waist. She tilted her head to look up at me and smile. I looked down and her lips were inches from mine. Longing washed over me.

  Too fast, too fast.

  I looked into her bright, smiling eyes and remembered that she wasn’t just some girl I could toss away. If I kissed her, that was it. I was in, and I wasn’t ready. Leading her to believe that I was wasn’t right.

  She looked back to the stage and I caught a whiff of her sweet, apple-scented hair. Who was I kidding? I was already in it.

  “They’re good,” Marissa said after a few minutes.

  I shrugged. “They’re okay.”

  “Yeah, I guess they’re no Radiohead. But they’re okay.” She grinned.

  I raised my brows. “You like Radiohead?”

  “No, but you do. You listen to them on repeat practically every night.”

  “You can hear that?” What was I thinking? I could hear her messing around in her kitchen. Of course she could hear my music. “Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I don’t hate it. I actually even downloaded a few of their songs.”

  “Oh, you did?” I chuckled.

  “Yeah, three or four.”

  “Well, see, that was my plan all along. To make a fan out of you.”

  “Fan? I wouldn’t say that I’m there quite yet.”

  The corners of my mouth turned up and I tightened my arms around her waist. We swayed lightly to the music while everyone around us danced and sang along with the band.

  After a few songs Ollie and Vivienne came up to us. “Marissa, we’re going to the bar. Do you want something?”

  “No, I’m good. Do you?” she asked looking up at me.

  Ollie’s brow creased and he opened his mouth, but I shot him a look that told him he’d better shut up. This wasn’t something I’d shared with her yet. “No,” I said, but it was too late. She’d already seen Ollie’s face.

  “I don’t drink,” I told her after he’d walked away.

  “That’s okay. I don’t much, either.”

  “No, I mean I used to. A lot. I’m a…” I really didn’t want to tell her this. The night was going so well. What was I thinking, bringing her to a club? I should’ve realized it would come up.

  She was looking at me expectantly.

  I breathed in deeply through my nose. “I had an issue with alcohol a few years back,” I said finally.

  “Should you…should we be here?” she asked, concern washing over her face.

  No, I had not wanted to tell her. And that was why.

  “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, turning back to face the band.

  And that was it. She leaned b
ack against my chest and didn’t pressure me for more, didn’t hammer me with a million questions like everyone else did. I pulled her a little closer. Maybe this could only be for one night. It would be better for me to stop it before we both got in too deep, but just for then, right in that moment, I couldn’t let her go.

  Chapter 15

  Marissa

  It felt good to be so close to Kieran again, leaning against his hard, warm chest. The band ended their song and immediately jumped into another one. I turned around in his arms to face him.

  “Are you having a good time?” he asked.

  “I am. Are you?”

  “Mmmhmm.” He nodded, smiling.

  I reached up and ran a hand through his dark, thick hair. It was one of the few times I’d seen him wear it down. I took my time letting my fingers slide through his smooth locks and it could’ve been my imagination, but I thought I felt him shiver.

  “I’ve been wanting to do that all night. Longer than that, actually. You have gorgeous hair,” I said.

  He reached out ran his fingers slowly down the length of my hair. “So do you,” he said. Then it was my turn to shiver.

  I wanted to kiss him then. Maybe I didn’t want our first kiss to be standing in a crowd of people, but that wasn’t enough to stop me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to lean forward…and felt a small hand on my shoulder, pushing me back down.

  “Mind if I cut in?” a girl’s voice said beside me.

  I turned. The tiny brunette with the huge blue eyes and even bigger lips was standing next to me, smiling innocently.

  Yeah, she knew what she just did.

  “Alisha,” Kieran began.

  “It’s fine,” I said, stepping away.

  The corners of Kieran’s mouth turned down as she took ahold of his arm and dragged him away from me.

  I didn’t know what her deal was. It was obvious that the girl didn’t like me, but I didn’t know why. Maybe she was just one of those sour girls who didn’t like anybody. She hadn’t been especially warm towards Vivienne, either, I’d noticed.

  I frowned when I saw her throw her arms around Kieran’s neck and start moving her body in rhythm with his. It helped a little that he was practically scowling at her, but I still didn’t particularly want to watch it.

  I walked over to the bar and ordered a Diet Coke. I noticed Kieran’s friend, Shannon, at the other end of the bar and walked over to him.

  “Hi,” he said when he saw me approach. “Where’s Kieran?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

  “Out there.” I tilted my head towards the crowded floor.

  Shannon winced. “Did Alisha steal him away?”

  “Yeah. Does she do that a lot?”

  “Yeah, I’m not a big fan of dancing, so he tries to make up for it, which is usually fine, but tonight she should know better.”

  “Why tonight?”

  Shannon suddenly looked uncomfortable and took a long swig of his drink before answering. “Nothing. Hey, can I get you something? To make up for my girl stealing your man?”

  I held my Coke up. “I’m good. And it’s fine, he’s not my ‘man.’ We’re just friends…I think.”

  Shannon chuckled. “Yeah.”

  A few awkward moments passed before I could think of something else to say. Finally I asked, “So you and Kieran have known each other for a long time?”

  “Yeah, forever. Ollie, too.”

  “It’s cool you guys have all stayed friends for so long. I don’t really have any friends back home, besides my stepsister.”

  “Yeah, we’re lucky,” Shannon said.

  Another awkward silence ensued, then he said, “Listen, Kieran’s a good guy. You just have to be patient with him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s not been with anybody for a long time. Well, he has, but his heart hasn’t been it. But tonight, it’s different. He’s different. He’s into you. Just be patient.”

  I didn’t have time to ask why again before I felt an arm slip around my waist and pull me close. I smiled as I inhaled Kieran’s clean scent. At the same time, Alisha came up and wrapped her arms possessively around Shannon. For a split second, I almost thought she narrowed her eyes at me, but surely not. What was with this girl?

  I held my drink up to Kieran. “Thirsty? It’s Diet Coke,” I said.

  “With what in it?” Alisha snapped just as Kieran started to shake his head.

  “Nothing, just Coke,” I replied, trying to keep my voice level. I was starting to get annoyed.

  “You know he can’t drink, right?” she said with a sneer.

  “Alisha,” Shannon scolded.

  “What?” she asked, her eyes wide and innocent again.

  “Alisha, please.” Kieran sighed. “And I can if I want, I just don’t. I’m not quite the raging drunk everyone makes me out to be.”

  Alisha’s huge blue eyes were suddenly full of regret. “I didn’t say you were.”

  “Alisha.” Shannon put his hand on her shoulder and turned her towards the bar.

  “Sorry,” she said to Kieran over her shoulder, and I could tell she meant it. So maybe she wasn’t all bad.

  He just nodded and pulled me back out on the floor.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I should have said something before, but I foolishly thought it wouldn’t come up every five minutes. I had a drinking problem, but that was three years ago and I’m over it now. I am not an alcoholic. Everybody thinks I am, which is fine, whatever, but I can say no. There was just a point in time in my life when I didn’t want to, when I didn’t see any reason to…But anyway, sorry. I should have told you.”

  I stopped walking and put my hand on his chest. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  One corner of his mouth tilted up. “Thanks, but I did owe you that one. And sorry about Alisha, too.”

  “It’s fine. Shannon explained. It’s a little strange that he lets his girlfriend hang all over you like that, but that’s his business.”

  “What? She wasn’t all over me.”

  I cocked a brow at him. “She was.”

  “Well, that’s just her. She’s a touchy-feely kind of girl.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “What, are you jealous or something?” he teased.

  “Maybe,” I said, smiling softly.

  “Really?” he asked, a pleased smile breaking out over his face.

  I took his hand and squeezed it. “You’re my dance partner tonight.”

  “So I am.” He put his arms around my waist and started moving to the music.

  Chapter 16

  Kieran

  We walked into our favorite little late night coffeehouse. The place was such a dive, but I loved it. The atmosphere was dim and kind of dingy, just right for nights like this, and the coffee was excellent. Shannon went to the counter to go order the coffee and the rest of us settled on an old beat up leather couch in the corner. Marissa sat against one armrest and Ollie sat down next the other one, with me, Alisha, and Vivienne in the middle. When I sat down, Marissa leaned into me and I threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her even closer. Wow, she smelled good. I was never going to be able to eat an apple again and not think about her.

  Shannon was back a few minutes later and I eagerly accepted the two Styrofoam cups he offered me. I handed one to Marissa. “Sorry, not much of a tea selection here.”

  She laughed. “I think I can handle it.”

  I chuckled as she took her first sip and her face scrunched up.

  “Little strong,” she choked.

  I grinned at her and took her cup. “Let me fix that up for you.” I reached for a couple sugar packets and the cream, mixing it in until her coffee was a nice creamy tan color. “Here you go.” I handed it back.

  She took a cautious sip. I watched as her eyes widened in surprise as she swallowed. “Pretty good,” she said.

  “See, you are a coffee drinker. You just don’t know how to make it properly.”


  “Don’t push it,” she said, but took another sip.

  We started discussing the concert, which Alisha thought was excellent and Shannon thought sucked. We all laughed as they argued back and forth about the merits of the performance, then Ollie began telling Marissa about his art. She seemed interested, so as she listened to him, I took the opportunity to get everyone some refills.

  “I’ll help,” Alisha said, jumping up.

  “So who is she?” Alisha asked when we were out of hearing range.

  “She’s my neighbor.”

  Alisha looked back at the couch and sighed. “I don’t see it.”

  “Don’t see what?” I asked, frowning.

  “Why you think she’s so special.”

  “Are you kidding me?” My brow creased. “She’s perfect.”

  “Whatever.” She shrugged. “I don’t like her. She’s not your type.”

  “Yes, and that’s a good thing.”

  “Not necessarily. Anyway, she’s not good enough for you.”

  “A.—You say that about everyone, and B.—How would you know? You’ve barely spoken to her.”

  “Just a vibe I get.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. Just like the vibe I get that you’re really into her.”

  “Alisha, you can save it. We’re not even dating. We’re just friends.”

  “Yeah, you act like you’re just friends.”

  “We are. Because you’ve got it backwards. I’m not good enough for her.”

  Alisha laid a hand gently on my forearm, and looked up into my eyes. “Kieran, that’s not true. Listen, I know about your…past…and I’m here to tell you, there’s a girl out there that’s going to make you forget about all of that.”

  I looked over at the couch where Marissa was laughing and talking with Ollie. “Yeah…maybe.”

  Alisha ran her hand up to my elbow, and squeezed. “Maybe she’s even closer than you think,” I heard her say, but it was like her voice was miles away. My focus was on Marissa’s bright smile, her laughing eyes. She was radiant.