The Rogue’s Dangerous Confession (Dangerous Desires Book 3)

by Ella Edon

  “Robert showed me the portrait.”

  “What portrait?”

  “The one in the back gallery, hung up out of the way. The one with your sister Judith.”

  Anthony swung around.

  “He had no right to show you that.”

  “Robert lives here as well, and I think he wanted me to see something. I did, and it got me thinking.” Alexander tilted his head as he regarded Anthony’s reaction. “Judith looks an awful lot like Jane, doesn’t she?”

  “She should. They’re sisters.”

  “I don’t think it’s that. Siblings can look very alike, but so close they could be identical when they’re not twins? The same shape of the nose, the same eyes, the same shape of the face. Even the slight curve to the mouth.” Alexander wished he hadn’t said that but continued. “Judith is Jane’s mother, isn’t she?”

  For a moment, he thought that Anthony was going to protest and deny it all. But instead, the gentleman went pale. Alexander thought he was going to pass out. Anthony swayed, his expression a little dazed.

  “You got all that from a painting?”

  “I’m a lot brighter than people think,” Alexander pointed out. “It would explain the age difference between you and Jane. While I know middle-aged women can still get pregnant, I find it unlikely in Lady Crawley’s case.”

  Anthony’s shoulders slumped. He half-staggered to the couch and sat heavily. Then he took a hefty swig of his drink, letting out a heavy sigh.

  “You’re right. Judith is Jane’s mother.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alexander had guessed earlier, but to have it confirmed still surprised him. He sat on the couch across from the older gentleman. With the heir looking as defeated as he was, Alexander couldn’t bring himself to be angry at him.

  “It wasn’t influenza that took her life, was it?” he pressed gently. “It was childbirth.”

  Anthony nodded.

  “Father’s going to be furious that I told anyone.”

  “I’m not going to say anything, am I? What you say now doesn’t go beyond this room.”

  Alexander meant it. He had no desire to throw it around that Jane was actually the Earl of Crawley’s granddaughter.

  Anthony swallowed. “She...she had an affair with a married man, which we only discovered once she was about to give birth.”

  “She went nine months without any indication that she was with child?”

  “It can be done, although it’s not a common thing. I don’t think I’ve heard Mother and Father shout so much. They were so angry.” Anthony took another swig. “They were having problems with Robert’s behavior without Judith getting involved as well. Father sent her away to a place outside Winchester to have the baby, but things went wrong. The midwife was able to save Jane, but Judith…” He let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders hunching over. “She had lost too much blood.”

  “And then Jane was brought back here, and your parents passed her off as their own,” Alexander murmured.

  A scandal like that of the Earl’s daughter getting pregnant by a married man would have ruined the whole family. It made sense to pass Jane off as a daughter instead of a granddaughter. A stretch, but possible. And nobody would have seen it as anything other than a surprise baby.

  Even in a time when gossip and rumors were always flowing thick and fast, it was still possible to hide a big secret like this.

  “Only the family knew. Not even the servants knew about it,” Anthony said solemnly. “Judith’s maid was told to look after Jane and paid to keep quiet. As my parents aren’t the most sociable of people, it was easy to make people believe that it was a miracle pregnancy.”

  “And no one told Jane about it?”

  Anthony shook his head.

  “Only Robert, Elizabeth and I knew about it. And we were told to keep it quiet, even from Jane. Elizabeth wasn’t too happy about it, but Robert and I agreed.” He fixed Alexander with a hard stare. “And you need to keep quiet about it as well.”

  “You want me to hide from Jane that she’s illegitimate and has been raised by her grandparents all her life?”

  “We promised our father that we would keep quiet. It will open up a lot of drama, and Jane will ask questions I don’t think any of us can answer. If she goes to look for her birth father, she might find something she doesn’t like.”

  Alexander snorted. “This is something that she deserves to know, Lord Tiverton.”

  “No, she doesn’t.” Anthony shook his head. “It’s for her own good. We made a promise.”

  “You made a promise to Lord Crawley. I didn’t.”

  “You’re going to tell her?”

  Alexander knew he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t think of a way to bring it up. It wasn’t exactly a conversation you could have as soon as you greeted someone in the morning. Jane had been growing up with this lie all her life, and it was not fair to her to keep it. However, Alexander knew it wasn’t his place to say anything. She would hate him for it, but Alexander knew she just couldn’t.

  “I won’t unless she asks the right question. Like you said, this is a family business and I’m not family. However, I’m not going to keep it from her if she does ask. She would appreciate me being honest.” Alexander nodded at the older gentleman. “But I appreciate you telling me the truth. Thank you, Lord Tiverton.”

  They stared at each other for a moment, then Alexander stood and went to the nearest bookcase. There wasn’t much else he could say, and Anthony looked like he wanted to be on his own. It was best that he left him to it. Selecting a book, Alexander tucked it under his arm and turned to Anthony, giving him a bow.

  “I’ll leave you to it. I think I’ve done enough prodding into your family life for tonight.”

  “Mr. Harrison.” Lord Tiverton rose to his feet. He was regarding Alexander curiously. “Why are you so invested in Jane?”

  Alexander paused. He couldn’t tell him the real truth. That wasn’t going to go down well. So, he told a partial truth.

  “Even scoundrels are allowed to care.”

  “And Jane makes you care?”

  Alexander nodded. “A little too much. Which scares me more than you threatening to hurt me if I break her heart.” Now he had said a little too much. He gulped and hurried towards the door. “Goodnight, Lord Tiverton.”

  Even after he left the library and hurried back towards the stairs, forgetting his candle, Alexander still wondered why he had confessed that much to a gentleman who actively disliked him.

  * * *

  Jane had a troubled sleep. It was difficult to settle down after what she had experienced. Alexander’s kiss kept running through her mind, and Jane found herself unable to turn away from it. She had never been kissed before, and Alexander just felt really good. He knew how to make her go red-hot in his arms, and the way he had looked at her made Jane feel like she was about to go up in flames.

  But she had to remember who he was. He seduced women left and right. Jane had to look like a catch because she was inexperienced. She would just be another in a long line of women and ladies he had seduced. And yet when he looked at her, when he had promised to step back if she said so, Jane believed for just a moment that Alexander wanted her for her. That he genuinely cared.

  Still, Alexander Harrison was the last person she should be associating with, and her family were certainly furious about his presence. Jane didn’t want to make the situation worse. Keeping her distance was the best course of action.

  So why did she feel like keeping away wasn’t going to be possible?

  It was barely sunrise when Jane finally gave up on sleep and got up. Claire wouldn’t be along for a while, so Jane dressed herself. It wasn’t that difficult, and she had developed a knack for tying up her stays without the need of anyone else. Claire had taught her to look after herself should she need to, and Jane was appreciative of it. Her maid was pretty much the only one who taught her to be self-sufficient if the need arose.

  She wond
ered what Claire would think about her situation with Alexander. Probably initial shock before suggesting to see if there was anything there. Her maid was sure that Alexander wanted Jane for more than just a bed partner, but Jane wasn’t so sure. She needed to take things slowly, even as her body heated up at the thought of Alexander touching her without any restrictions between them, his hands tracing her bare skin and pulling her into his arms.

  God, she was going mad. She needed to stop before things got out of hand. This was not something she should even be contemplating. Her father would say she had a sickness of the mind lusting after a gentleman with a reputation like Alexander Harrison’s.

  There were moments when Jane did have a sickness of the mind. The intensity of her want for the gentleman was strong, more than she had felt for anyone else. Even Ian, which was startling. Jane hadn’t even thought about Ian since she returned home. Alexander had filled her thoughts, and the fierceness of it was scaring her.

  She needed to get her head cleared.

  After washing and dressing, sorting her hair into a simple chignon, Jane left her room and headed to Rachel’s bedchamber. Even after what happened the night before, they were still friends, and Jane needed to talk to a friend right now.

  She tapped gently on the door. Rachel was always an early riser, so there was a chance that she was awake. There was a rustling behind the door, and then Rachel opened it. She was already dressed, still looking a little sleepy and her hair half stuck in the air. There was a hairbrush in her hand. She blinked when she saw Jane.

  “Jane? What are you doing up this early?”

  “I couldn’t sleep.” Jane swallowed. “I wanted to see if you were all right. May I come in?”

  Rachel hesitated. Then she stepped aside and allowed Jane to come in. She closed the door with a heavy sigh and a shake of her head.

  “I’m still upset about what happened, Jane. I wish someone would believe me.”

  “I believe that you were molested, Rachel. I don’t doubt that.” Jane turned to her friend. “I’m just skeptical that it was Mr. Harrison.”

  “But…”

  “Robert was with him the whole time. They can vouch for each other.”

  “I see.” Rachel huffed and started tugging the hairbrush through her hair with furious strokes. “And did your brother tell you this?”

  “Mr. Harrison did.”

  “And you believed him?”

  “He doesn’t have a reason to lie about something like that.”

  “Not to you, anyway.” Rachel snorted.

  Jane frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Rachel was still scowling as she headed towards her dresser. She sat on the stool and focused on her reflection, trying to get the hairbrush through her tangles. Jane followed her, standing behind her friend. She knew Rachel could see her, but she was purposefully avoiding eye-contact with Jane.

  “Talk to me, Rachel. What do you mean? Why would Mr. Harrison lie to me?”

  “Because he finds you attractive.” Rachel raised her eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.”

  It took a moment for Jane to understand what Rachel was talking about. She didn’t actually think that, did she? Jane knew from her reflection that her mouth was open, and she looked like Rachel had hit her over the head with the hairbrush.

  “You think he desires me?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Rachel grunted. “He’s been looking at you a lot. And while I’m not experienced in that part of life, I do know what that look means.”

  Jane was sent back to the night before, when Alexander had her up against the wall as he kissed her. She had felt every part of his body against her, including his desire against her belly. But that was just a natural male reaction, wasn’t it? Jane knew that gentlemen didn’t need to have their feelings involved in seduction beyond simple lust. However, it didn’t seem to link properly with Rachel’s words. Jane swayed. She shook her head.

  “He doesn’t desire me.”

  Rachel snorted and lowered her hairbrush. “Are you sure about that? Marissa said that she denied it initially, and then he wore her down. He’s very persistent when he wants someone.”

  “And you still believe that your sister was the innocent party in all of it?”

  “Of course, she was. Marissa wouldn’t have done anything like that. Alexander Harrison is a cad and he used her.”

  She sounded so sure of it. Jane was still surprised at the strength of Marissa’s hold on Rachel. She really had spun a sweet tale for her little sister. Jane thought different and after getting to know Alexander further, she knew where he was coming from. He was more candid than people realized. He just hid himself behind a wall to protect his emotions. Marissa had a wall up too, but for different reasons.

  Even someone as inexperienced as Jane knew that.

  “You really need to open your eyes, Rachel.”

  “What?” Rachel lowered the brush and stared at her in the mirror. “What do you mean by that?”

  “You know perfectly well what I mean. We’ve been over this before.” Jane folded her arms. “Your sister has been causing trouble for years. Not just to the family, but to me.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “Do you know how many times she was mean to me when we were children?” Jane went on. “How many times she would pinch me or push me against the wall because she thought it was amusing to make me cry? She knew I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t like causing trouble. I liked your parents and you were my best friend. I didn’t want to lose that friendship, and I knew if I told your parents what Marissa had done, she would lie and claim that I was a lying. And you know that your parents would have believed her at the time.”

  Rachel’s face had gone white as Jane talked. Jane wondered if any part of her story was striking a chord with her. She wouldn’t be surprised if Marissa had done the same to Rachel while they were growing up. But Rachel was so under Marissa’s spell that she would conveniently forget everything that happened because Marissa was so convincing.

  For someone who was so steadfast and stern when it came to her friends, she had a blind spot when it came to her older sister.

  “You’re lying,” Rachel murmured.

  “I’m glad you think so.” Jane snorted. “Because it just shows how stupid you are that you believe Marissa over anything.”

  “I’m stupid?” Rachel spun around to glare up at her. “You think I’m stupid?”

  “Of course, you are. Marissa is not an angel, Rachel. You know that. And she’s certainly not an innocent party in what happened between her and Mr. Harrison. She started it all for some pleasure and she got caught. She tried to lie her way out of it because she didn’t want to be seen as a wanton woman.” Jane could feel her head pounding. “Your parents know the truth. Her husband knows it. The only one who believes her lies is you. And I thought you were clever enough to see through her.”

  When Jane had come to Rachel’s room to see how her friend was doing, she hadn’t expected it to turn into an argument about a woman who wasn’t even present. Jane didn’t want to spare any thoughts on Marissa Preston, someone who wasn’t worth the time. But Rachel had brought it up, and Jane wanted to set her straight.

  From the look on Rachel’s face, it wasn’t working.

  “Marissa has never lied to me.” Rachel’s voice was tight. “She’s always looked out for me. I know she wouldn’t do this.”

  “Sometimes it’s those closest to us that we don’t really know. They’re the ones we’re blinded by because they’re family.” Jane headed towards the door. “And if you’re willing to believe family over the truth, then I suppose that’s your hill to die on.”

  “Where are you going?” Rachel shot to her feet. “I thought you were coming to make sure I was all right.”

  “I was until you started bringing Mr. Harrison’s word into question when your sister’s has been questioned and disproved, yet you’re willing to believe her.” Jane stopped at the d
oor and turned back. “There’s no talking to you when you start declaring that Marissa cannot do any wrong. I’ll speak to Lord Surrey about you going home today.”

  “What?” Rachel looked like Jane had slapped her. “But...but you need me!”

  “I don’t think I’ll need you around anymore,” Jane replied coolly. “Especially as you’re content with believing the word of a woman who couldn’t tell a truth if it slapped her in the face.”

  “Marissa is not a liar!” Rachel shouted.

  Jane sighed.