Almost Doesn't Count

by Angela Winters

  Billie tried to ignore the little spark she felt as she took a step back. “I can show you out.”

  “I know the way,” he said. He approached the door before her, placing his hand on the doorknob. “Wait a second.”

  “Yes?” She stopped.

  “You said something before that I need clarified.”

  “Of course,” she said, opening her folder to review what little notes she had shared with him.

  He reached out and closed the folder back up. His hand brushed against hers and Billie felt a little jolt of electricity run up her arm. She stepped back.

  “You said earlier that you can’t get involved with me while you’re on the case.” His voice was quiet, but direct. “Does that mean that when this is over, I have a chance?”

  Billie rolled her eyes flirtatiously even though she didn’t mean to. She shouldn’t do things to lead him on. “Can I please just get to my office so I can work on your case?”

  He laughed, opening the door for her. He was halfway down the opposite end of the hallway before he said, “Imma take that as a yes.”

  Billie froze in place, wondering who heard him and what they thought. She rushed out of the hallway before any curious people could come out to see what was going on. She stepped in the elevator and the doors closed. The doors were floor-to-ceiling mirrors and she could clearly see herself smiling from cheek to cheek.

  Domesticity was a compromise for a modern woman. This was the excuse Erica gave herself as she lifted the precooked rotisserie chicken out of the container it came in and placed it on top of the platter. Chicken from the store and mashed potatoes from a box.

  “I made the salad,” she exclaimed to the empty apartment.

  She placed the chicken and the pot of mashed potatoes in the oven just to keep them warm. She looked up at the clock on her kitchen wall. Terrell would be there soon, after his first day in his newly promoted position, and she wanted to have dinner on the table and look sexy. She didn’t have much time to change.

  Just as she was about to rush down the hall to her bedroom, the doorbell rang.

  “Shit,” she said. Today of all days, Terrell decided to be early.

  She looked down at herself. She looked okay in the black slacks and red rayon short-sleeve blouse she’d worn to work, but she sure as hell wasn’t looking sexy.

  “Hey, bab—” She swung the door open and was stopped in her tracks as she realized it wasn’t Terrell.

  “Hello, Erica,” Jonah Dolan said quietly.

  Jonah Dolan was a very attractive older man with a powerful presence. He looked to be in his forties even though he was a decade older. He was about six-four, with a conservative dark brown haircut with distinguished graying at the temples. His white skin had a nice warm hue to it, almost a light tan. His face was commanding and very handsome in a traditional way. He had a firm jaw line and thin lips that made him look very serious all the time.

  “What are you doing here?” Her tone was more of an accusation than a question.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “Why?”

  “Erica.”

  Without even thinking, Erica stepped aside. The man had a way about him and a voice that made you instinctively just do what he told you to. He made Erica almost feel guilty for questioning him.

  He stepped inside, looking around the apartment. “It smells great in here. What are you cooking?”

  “Dinner for me and my boyfriend.” She thought to close the door, but decided to leave it open. She wanted Jonah to know he wasn’t staying long. “And I need to get back to it.”

  He turned around to face her, his expression softening. “I’ll only be a minute.”

  “It’s a minute longer than you’re welcomed,” Erica said.

  He looked hurt for only a moment before brushing it off. “So you’re back with him. Terrell.”

  “Yes, I am.” Erica placed her hands on her hips. “It’s none of your business.”

  He looked very disappointed. “You can forgive him, but not me?”

  “Terrell owned up to his mistake,” she said. “He’s not the one who went around threatening people. He’s not the one who wants to keep me a secret.”

  He sighed and nodded as if he accepted her judgment, knew he deserved it.

  He pointed to the sofa. “Can we sit down?”

  “You can sit,” she said, “but I’ll stand. I’m very busy.”

  “I guess we can do this standing.” He walked toward her.

  Erica backed up. She wasn’t sure why, but she could tell it hurt Jonah’s feelings.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Erica.”

  “How do I know?” she asked. “You threatened to hurt Terrell and Sherise. Why not me?”

  “You’re my daughter,” he said defiantly.

  Erica stood her ground, showing she was unmoved by his appeal to a meaningless genetic connection as if it meant they had a relationship.

  “You know, Jonah, I was thinking about that. You don’t know that for a fact. Unless there was some DNA test you did without my knowing. You said yourself that you and my mother weren’t in love. Maybe she—”

  “Don’t,” Jonah ordered, his expression darkening. “Don’t disrespect your mother’s honor just to hurt me.”

  Erica and Jonah held eyes for a moment as she wanted to say something cruel or mean, but couldn’t. He was right and it hurt her to realize what she was suggesting about her own mother. Besides, Jonah had made it clear, and Erica later realized, she looked just like his mother, only a darker shade. He was her father. There was no denying that.

  “What do you want?”

  “I was hoping to see you last week,” he said. “My father died.”

  “I know and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

  “You’re right,” he said, nodding. “I was just . . . This isn’t really about that. We’re trying to get all his things in order so we can donate them.”

  “I’m not a charity case,” Erica said defensively.

  He seemed surprised. “I would never consider you that. Erica, any time I ever gave you anything or offered to give you anything, it was because I care about you. But that doesn’t even matter.”

  “What does matter?” she asked. “Because I have to get back to making dinner.”

  Jonah reached into the pocket of his expensive coat and pulled out a silver chain. He opened his hand, offering it to Erica.

  “I don’t want gifts from you,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

  “This isn’t a gift from me,” he said. “Take it, Erica. Look at it.”

  Erica took the chain. Looking at it, she realized it wasn’t just a chain. It had a small pendant hanging from it. She brought it closer. It was a gold-lined topaz heart with the inscribed words TO ACHELLE FROM MAMA. LUV.

  Erica gasped as her heart caught in her throat. “This is my . . .”

  “It’s from your grandmother, right?” he asked, smiling.

  “This is Mom’s pendant.” Erica felt her eyes welling up with tears. “Oh my God. She was looking for this. I remember her telling me how she regretted losing this.”

  “I thought you’d want it.”

  “She gave me this.” Erica reached under her shirt and pulled out her necklace with a pendant. “It’s the exact same except it’s morganite and not topaz.”

  She leaned forward so Jonah could see it.

  “It’s lovely,” he said.

  “She told me to never, ever lose this because she lost the one Nana gave her and she always regretted it.”

  Erica felt a tear roll down her cheek. She couldn’t believe she was holding this. She had never met her grandmother, but had seen many pictures and heard stories of her from her grandfather and her mother about how amazing this woman was. She had a heart the size of the sun, a wicked sense of humor, and was whip smart despite having only a ninth grade education. She had high blood pressure her whole life and passed away too early after co
mplications from a stroke.

  “How do you have this?”

  “Your mother showed that to me the summer we were together. She was at my house and . . .”

  “I thought your relationship was a secret.”

  “It was,” he said, sounding as if he wanted to seem ashamed of that point. “My parents were away. I sneaked her over. My sister was there, but she already knew about us. She took this off and showed it to me. I guess she left it there; either I put it away somewhere or the maid did. I found it going through some boxes of my old stuff in my dad’s attic.”

  Erica walked over to the sofa and sat down, not taking her eyes off the pendant. She didn’t notice when Jonah joined her, but after a while, she looked at him.

  “She must have cared about you,” she said. “She took this off to show you. I doubt she took it off for just anyone.”

  Jonah smiled warmly. “I asked to see it because she was always touching it, and when she touched it, she would smile.”

  “And then forgot about it.”

  “Well, that was my fault. We started kissing and . . . I think it just left her mind.”

  Erica smiled. “That must have been some kiss.”

  “It was.”

  Erica was starting to feel guilty about the way she’d treated him. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “He was an asshole.”

  “Jonah, you shouldn’t say that about your dad.”

  “It was the truth.” Jonah appeared unaffected. “I loved him and I guess a part of me will miss him, but . . . well, it was what it was. I just don’t want you to feel the same about me.”

  Erica managed a tentative smile.

  “What in the fuck?”

  Erica turned around to see Terrell, who had just come in the apartment, heading straight for the sofa. Then Jonah shot up from his seat and she knew something bad was about to happen.

  She jumped up and rushed to Terrell just before he reached a ready and unflinching Jonah.

  “Stop,” she ordered. She grabbed him by the arms and pushed him back. “Just calm down.”

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked. He wasn’t charging anymore, but Erica was still holding on to his arms.

  “You need to watch how you talk to me,” Jonah warned.

  “Really?” Terrell laughed, but with an expression that showed he didn’t find anything about this the least bit funny. “You forgot to add ‘boy’ to the end of that sentence. I know you were itching to.”

  “Terrell,” Erica pleaded. “He had to give me something of my mother’s. That’s why he’s here. Don’t start anything.”

  “He’s not welcomed here,” Terrell said.

  “You don’t live here anymore,” Jonah said. “You don’t speak for her. You never did.”

  “Okay, that’s enough.” Erica held her hand up to him. “You have no right to speak to him like that.”

  Jonah’s glare left Terrell to focus on Erica. “You can’t possibly be getting back together with this . . . this . . .”

  “Say it,” said Terrell. “Just give me a reason.”

  Jonah laughed. “You need a reason? You’re already behind the game, then.”

  “Jonah!” Erica knew that if she let this go on, something horrible would happen. “You need to leave.”

  Jonah’s posture softened, but only a bit. “I’m sorry, Erica. I didn’t mean . . . I’ll just go.”

  “You do that,” Terrell added.

  Erica slapped him in the chest. “Enough!”

  Jonah looked at Terrell, shook his head in utter disappointment, and walked past them both out the door.

  “I want an explanation for that asshole being here!” Terrell demanded.

  “Who do you think you’re talking to?” she asked. “I don’t owe you any explanation for anything. This is my apartment and I can let in whoever I want.”

  “So you defending this dick?” Terrell stepped back, looking hurt and angry.

  “If I was defending him,” Erica said, “I would have made you leave.”

  “So what was he doing here? What did he give you?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” Erica looked down at the chain she had wrapped around her hand. She felt like she was holding a part of her mother that had been lost forever.

  “It wasn’t a big deal,” she added. “Just let it go. He’s gone.”

  Terrell just shook his head. “Ain’t nothing good gonna come from letting that man in your life, Erica. Nothing good.”

  “I don’t care what you have to do,” Billie said, then caught herself. “Wait a second. I didn’t mean it like that, David.”

  David Eklind was one of the firm’s private investigators and she was working with him to get more information on the missing 911 calls for her pro bono case.

  “I know,” he answered in his raspy voice. “You don’t mean break the law.”

  “And don’t be unethical about it,” she added.

  He laughed.

  “I’m serious, David.”

  “That’s why I’m laughing,” he said. “Look, I won’t break the law. That’s what I promise.”

  “You can’t do anything to jeopardize my case.”

  “I know that. I’ve been working for the firm for ten years.”

  “Okay. Just get everything you can and update me. Don’t wait until it’s done. I have a feeling if we don’t ruffle some feathers right now, it will get so buried that we won’t have a chance.”

  “I will get back to you as soon as I know something.”

  As soon as she hung up her office phone, her cell phone, lying on the desk, began to vibrate. She looked at the ID and saw it was Sherise.

  “I’m really busy right now,” she said as she picked up.

  “You need to look something up for me,” Sherise said.

  She was going to do it. Sherise had been debating it all week, but decided she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She needed to know if Justin was cheating on her, and something told her this “trip” to Philadelphia was shady. If she could have done the investigation without involving the girls, she would have, but she needed them. Besides, after finding out about her affair with Jonah, there was no point in trying to hide anything . . . well, anything more, from them.

  “I’m not your personal researcher,” Billie said.

  “It will only take five minutes.”

  “Why don’t you call Justin and ask—”

  “It’s about Justin,” Sherise said quietly.

  Billie paused. “What about him?”

  “I think he’s having an affair.”

  “You’re crazy,” Billie said. “Is this why you’ve been acting so weird lately?”

  “I’m not sure, but I think he is.”

  Billie was extremely doubtful. Justin was probably the most honest, reliable man she knew. The only one left. “Why? Because he can’t get you pregnant, you think he’s cheating?”

  Sherise was pacing the kitchen as she had been for the half hour it took her to get up the nerve to make that call.

  “We would actually have to be having sex in order to get pregnant.”

  “You know what I think?” Billie asked. “I think you know Justin won’t want you to go work for Northman and you’re trying to turn him into the bad guy to justify doing it anyway. You do that, Sherise.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “When you know you’re wrong, you try to make the other person the bad guy so you can say at least they’re worse.”

  “Are you really attacking me now?” Sherise asked, getting angrier every second. “I come to you for help and this is your response? You’re turning into Erica, blaming me for everything.”

  “I haven’t seen him with anyone here at the firm,” Billie said. “There aren’t any rumors going around. Is that what you want to know?”

  Sherise explained everything that she had heard and seen up to that point, including the receipt at the airport, which had add
ed to the tension in their marriage before their argument and since; Sherise needed to know more.

  “I went online and couldn’t find any information on that conference, except that it happened at the Westin Philadelphia on the dates Justin says he was there.”

  “Lobbyists like to keep their conferences secret,” Billie said, even though she didn’t know that was true. It sounded better. “But he had the date right.”

  “But there was no hotel charge to any of our credit cards.”

  “The hotel and airfare would have been prepaid for on a corporate account.”

  “Can you find them?” Sherise asked.

  “I can’t go through billing and ask for someone else’s receipts.”

  “Then what about the e-mail?”

  “What e-mail?”

  “The one announcing speaking engagements within the firm.”

  “You’re being ridic—”

  “Billie, just do it!”

  Billie was taken aback by the desperation in Sherise’s voice. She did not sound like the woman she knew. She was seriously worried.

  “Hold on a second,” she said calmly. “It was a while ago. I’ve already deleted it. I have to go back and find it.”

  “I just need to know if the company confirmed he was speaking at that conference or not.”

  “Okay,” Billie said. “I really do think you’re overreacting, Sherise. I think you need a weekend off or something.”

  “Off from what?” Sherise asked. “I don’t do anything.”

  “Just some time away from your life.”

  “I can’t go anywhere,” Sherise said. “Jerry Northman has asked for my help with a fund-raiser.”

  “So you’re working for him?”

  “It’s sort of a trial,” Sherise said.

  “Which, let me guess, you have not told Justin . . .”

  Sherise felt her stomach tighten at the silence. “What? What is it?”

  “I found it.”

  Billie pulled up the e-mail that was sent weekly to announce who within the firm received an award, was quoted in an article, or would be speaking on behalf of the firm around the world.

  “Okay,” she spoke as she read. “This week’s speaking engagements. Cole Slinken and Brian Wong will be speaking on a Regulatory 101 panel at the New Finance Reform Public Affairs conference in Philadelphia at the Westin hotel.”