A Trip with the Tycoon
Page 17
She wriggled her hand out from under his on the pretext of retwisting her hair into a loose chignon, his touch too painful, too poignant with what she had to say next.
‘I became invisible. I lost my identity, my dignity and my self-respect for a man who didn’t care about me, no matter what I did. I got caught up in a vicious cycle, trying to convince him I wasn’t worthless in order to regain some semblance of self-respect in order to leave him. Round and round I went, trying my guts out, never being good enough, totally helpless. And I’ll never forgive myself for that.’
He swore under his breath, bundled her into his arms and she slowly relaxed as he stroked her back in long, comforting caresses. ‘It’s finished. Over. You’re not that person any more.’
But she was the same person, with the same fears dogging her.
Drawing back, he cradled her face in his hands. ‘Tam, it’s going to be okay.’
‘Is it?’
In response, he lowered his head and kissed her, a slow, tender kiss on her lips, a kiss of affirmation and optimism and faith, a kiss filled with promise and hope.
The hope was the clincher.
She had to tell him—all of it.
Reaching up, she trailed her fingertips down his cheek, the familiar rasp of stubble sending a shiver up her arm.
‘I know you care about me and you’re nothing like Richard. But I’ve finally found myself again, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin and I don’t want to risk losing that. For anyone.’
Wariness crept across his face. ‘What are you trying to say?’
‘I’m scared to get involved in a relationship again.’
She dropped her hand, wriggled back to put some distance between them. ‘I’m willing to date but I can’t make any promises.’
‘You’re wrong.’
Confused, she stared at him.
‘I don’t just care about you. I love you.’
Her sharp indrawn gasp sounded harsh in the silence and his hand shot out and latched onto her wrist as if he expected her to bolt.
‘And I get it. You’re scared. Scared to take a chance on a relationship for fear of losing your identity again. But hell, Tam, this is me. Not Richard. Surely you know I’d never hurt you?’
Hot, scalding tears burned the back of her eyes—tears of hope, tears of fear.
If loving Richard and losing herself had been painful, loving Ethan and losing him would be a hundred times worse.
But the fear was still there, still undermining her newfound confidence, whispering insidious warnings that her inner strength could vanish in a second if she made the wrong decision again.
‘I know. You just being here is proof enough but I guess the fear has been a part of me so long, it’s hard to shake.’
He shook his head, his grip unrelenting. ‘Do you think this is easy for me? I’ve never loved anyone, let alone admitted it. I don’t trust easily—’
‘Which is why you date those airheads,’ she finished for him, the realisation flooring her.
After what he’d told her today—being abandoned by his mum, dumped from family to family—everything suddenly slid into place.
He was just as frightened as her: frightened to love, frightened to get emotionally involved, frightened to lose control.
Yet he’d confronted his fear, overcome it, for her.
‘You’re as scared as me,’ she said in a hushed tone, scrabbling on her knees to get closer to him.
‘That’s it, isn’t it? Why you closed off that day at Ambrosia? You thought I still cared about Richard, about having his baby and you loved me then. You were just hiding your fear, weren’t you?’
His slow, reluctant nod had her launching onto his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. ‘Jeez, we’re a fine pair. We can read each other’s minds, we just don’t want to delve into our own.’
He nuzzled her neck, sending a delightful shiver skating across her skin. ‘So I take it this means you want to take a risk on an old scaredy-cat like me?’
Laughing, she pulled back, planted a loud, resounding kiss on his mouth.
‘You bet.’
She kissed him again—slower this time, much slower—and they came up dragging in great lungfuls of air several long moments later.
‘I love you too. The for ever kind of love.’
He smiled, his arms locked firmly around her waist, every ounce of devotion and adoration and love blazing from his guileless blue eyes.
‘Is that your prediction?’
‘Oh, yeah.’
He jerked his head towards the Taj Mahal, the majestic monument standing tall and strong, a silent observer of yet another romantic drama playing out in its honour.
‘You know, they say this place is mystical. The ultimate dedication to love. So what do you say we live up to its romantic promise?’
She held her breath, her heart racing with anticipation as her mind took a flying leap into the future.
Maybe her predictive powers were developing, for she had a sneaking suspicion Ethan was about to—
‘Tam, will you marry me? I promise to love you, cherish you, let you be your own person and do whatever you want.’
His wide smile had her grinning right back at him with elation filling her soul and joy expanding her heart.
‘How can a girl refuse a proposal like that?’
‘You can’t.’
He stole a kiss and she poured all her love for him into it.
‘You once asked me if I believed in love at first sight.’
His eyes crinkled adorably, the roguish pirate smile back in place. ‘And do you?’
‘Whether first sight, short sight or long sight, I believe in loving you.’
As their lips met, the moon rose, casting an enchanting glow over the Taj Mahal and its latest pair of lovers bound by destiny.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-3925-2
A TRIP WITH THE TYCOON
First North American Publication 2009.
Copyright © 2009 by Nicola Marsh.
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