Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 1

by Jeff Kinney

_ _ _ the Cheese.

  sputter

  gasp

  gag

  210

  I knew they were gonna make me do it, too. I

  started to panic, because I knew I wasn’t going

  to be able to fight my way out of this situation.

  So I did some fast talking instead.

  And believe it or not, it actually worked.

  i would, but

  i’m allergic

  to diary!

  you’re

  lucky,

  punk!

  i know,

  i know!

  211

  I guess the teenagers were satisfied they had

  made their point, because after they made

  Rowley finish off the rest of the Cheese, they

  let us go. They got back in their truck and

  took off down the road.

  Me and Rowley walked home together. But neither

  one of us really said anything on the way back.

  I thought about mentioning to Rowley that

  maybe he could have pulled out a couple of his

  karate moves back there, but something told me

  to hold off on that thought for right now.

  shudder

  shudder

  212

  Tuesday

  At school today, the teachers let us outside

  after lunch.

  It took about five seconds for someone to

  realize the Cheese was missing from its spot on

  the blacktop.

  Everybody crowded around to look at where the

  Cheese used to be. Nobody could believe it was

  actually gone.

  People started coming up with these crazy theories

  about what happened to it. Somebody said that

  maybe the Cheese grew legs and walked away.

  heyyyyyyyyy!

  213

  It took all my self-control to keep my mouth

  shut. And if Rowley wasn’t standing right

  there, I honestly don’t know if I could have

  kept quiet.

  A couple of the guys who were arguing over what

  happened to the Cheese were the same ones who

  were egging me and Rowley on yesterday afternoon.

  So I knew it wasn’t going to be long before

  someone put two and two together and figured out

  that we must have had something to do with it.

  Rowley was starting to panic, and I don’t

  blame him, either. If the truth ever came out

  about how the Cheese disappeared, Rowley would

  be finished. He’d have to move out of the state,

  and maybe even the country.

  mmf!

  214

  That’s when I decided to speak up.

  I told everyone that I knew what happened to

  the Cheese. I said I was sick of it being on the

  blacktop, and I just decided to get rid of it once

  and for all.

  For a second there, everyone just froze. I

  thought people were going to start thanking me

  for what I did, but boy, was I wrong.

  I really wish I had worded my story a little

  differently. Because if I threw away the Cheese,

  guess what that meant? It meant that I have

  the Cheese Touch.

  scream!

  scream!

  215

  June

  Friday

  Well, if Rowley appreciated what I did for him

  last week, he hasn’t said it. But we’ve started

  hanging out after school again, so I guess that

  means me and him are back to normal.

  I can honestly say that so far, having the

  Cheese Touch hasn’t been all that bad.

  It got me out of doing the Square Dance unit

  in Phys Ed, because no one would partner up

  with me. And I’ve had the whole lunch table to

  myself every day.

  Today was the last day of school, and they

  handed out yearbooks after eighth period.

  diaper

  rash

  ahead!

  bwaahahaha!

  216

  I flipped to the Class Favorites page, and

  here’s the picture that was waiting for me.

  All I can say is, if anyone wants a free yearbook,

  they can dig one out of the trash can in the

  back of the cafeteria.

  You know, Rowley can have Class Clown for all I

  care. But if he ever gets too big for his britches,

  I’ll just remind him that he was the guy who ate

  the _ _ _ _ _ _.

  CLASS CLOWN

  Rowley Jefferson

  ZOO-

  WEE

  MAMA!

  217